A/N- theeShadyLady back again. Did you miss me? Haha! Ok, so this chapter is not a letter, it takes place on the two year anniversary of the Districts beating the Capitol in the war. ((DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Hunger Games.))

Ch. 5: "The Light"

"Katniss, come on! We're going to miss the train!" I hear Peeta yell to me from the front yard. I laugh as I run down the stairs to meet him. "We are the only ones here getting on the train, they can't leave without us." He smiles and grabs my hand and we make our way to the Justice Building. Haymitch is already there, with Effie who is tapping her foot impatiently.

"You're late," she says in her usual high-pitched tone, as we all board the train.

District 12 is the first stop for the train, next stop District 11, and so on until District 1. All of the main people involved in the planning and strategizing of the war are being picked up and brought to District 13, for the 2nd anniversary of defeating the Capitol.

The moment we get on the train, Haymitch all but runs for the bar section of our car. As the train starts to leave the station, Peeta paces around the car. He has hated trains ever since we got back from our first games. I, however, am fine with trains. But since Peeta is clearly distracted, I just sit and stare out the window while time seems to fly bye. After what seems like only minutes, we are already at District 6. And when we get to District 5, finally Peeta comes over and sits on the floor in front of the chair I've been sitting on. I reach down and take his hand in my own; we stay like this until the train arrives at District 13.

As soon as the train stops our car door opens and Haymitch, Peeta, and I walk out. The only people that are around are the people exiting the train, but none of the District 13 citizens are within sight. Peeta spots Johanna and goes over to see her. It's been an entire year since we've seen most of the people here.

Peeta is busy talking to Johanna, catching up with the things going on in other districts, and that's when I see him. He looks even better than before, if that's possible… But, just as I see him, he also sees me. Even from here, I can see his eyes grow cold and his jaw tighten up. He looks at me with a thousand-yard stare and it's as if he is looking straight through me.

The people around him notice this change and look to see what he is upset about. I guess they don't notice me, because after a while they turn back around and start talking again. I look away to try and ignore him, but it doesn't work. He is still staring and I can feel his eyes piercing through me. Giving up, I begin to make my way towards him, clumsily bumping into people as I walk. I vaguely hear Peeta ask, "Katniss, where are you going?" but I don't reply. I just keep my eyes locked on Gale.

I stop when I am about five feet from him, so I can look at him and take everything in. Right away I realize that my memory has failed me; he is more perfect than I remembered. It's been two years since I last saw him, because he wasn't at the 1st anniversary celebration. I heard that he was on some "top-secret" war council mission or something, but I am not really sure.

I try and memorize every detail I can about him. I memorize his slightly increased height, his muscles, and his olive colored skin that still matches mine. And, I memorize his dark hair that is a little overgrown and his stormy gray eyes that refuse to see me. As I do this, memories of us come flooding back to me. I have to fight hard to keep a few specific ones that I've been keeping locked away in the back of my mind. I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts, they hurt too much.

I bite my lip; something is missing in this picture... I think hard. I study his face. And suddenly I remember. The light is gone. His face used to be bright…the brightness of his smile and his eyes, which were the only things that my memory has not failed to kept alive, are now gone. These two things, I have lost them, and I am afraid I will never see them again. I taste blood in my mouth; I am biting my lip a little too hard, but I don't care.

Finally, I can't stand it, and rush forward and throw my arms around him. He doesn't even flinch. I put my head against his chest and start to silently cry. He must have put up a wall in his heart to protect himself from me, because he still doesn't react.

My crying continues, because I am hurt. I am hurt because he has to protect himself from me; I was supposed to be his friend. I was supposed to be the one helping him, not the one hurting him. Eventually, my tears begin to slow, and I manage to get out one word…

Just a sad, one-worded whisper, "Gale…"

With this one word, he breaks and for a single moment his guard falls. I feel him relax a little bit and exhale. He pulls away from me, wipes a tear off of my cheek, and walks away without saying anything.

Every cell in my body screams at me to follow him, but I can't. I am frozen. I hear Peeta walking up behind me; for some reason all I can think about is how loud he walks compared to Gale. Peeta puts his hand on my arm, releasing me from my spell.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" he asks.

"Yeah," I choke out. I am not okay. I have to talk to Gale. Peeta sees Gale walking away and looks back at me. "Go talk to him," sometimes I swear that boy can read my mind. Haymitch stumbles over to us. He reeks of alcohol and is mumbling about Effie bothering him. Peeta leads him away from me as he continues to grumble and yell at the air. I watch them for a moment and then run after Gale.

I see him, heading towards the woods behind the ceremony stage. He has a bow and quiver full of arrows slung over his shoulder; I don't know where they came from. I stop running a good thirty yards behind him, and continue to follow silently. "You've lost you touch, Katniss," he yells to me with an emotionless voice. He hadn't even looked back. At least he is acknowledging me, I think to myself.

We are a good distance into the woods now. "Stop following me," he warns. I continue to follow anyway. Irritated, he stops and turns to face me. I keep walking and stop when I'm close enough to touch him. He isn't tense, but he isn't relaxed, either. He almost looks… nervous—No, he looks… broken. When I realize this, I have to force myself to resist the urge to run over to him and hug him again. I bite my lip and I can already taste fresh blood trickling into my mouth. He starts to walk towards me. I hold my breath and close my eyes waiting for him to start yelling, but it doesn't come. I open my eyes to see he has an arrow aimed straight at me. What is he doing? Is he really this mad? My heart pounds and then stops as he releases the arrow.

I wait for the impact, but again nothing happens. He wasn't aiming at me. I turn around and see the arrow has landed right in the middle of a knothole in one of the trees. He knocks another arrow and releases again, hitting the next tree and the next tree. He keeps doing this until his quiver is empty and he is breathing heavily.

He collects his arrows and starts to walk away. Without thinking, I run up and grab his hand to stop him. He stops, but he doesn't look at me. A million thoughts and memories run through my head. I know what I'm going to do, maybe it isn't fair, maybe it's cruel, but I have to do it. It's the only way to stop him; the only way to make him listen to me. I walk around so that I'm in front of him, only inches away; I stand up on my toes and kiss him. Two, three, four, five seconds go by.

He pulls back and stares at me, his eyes willing me to say something. But I forgot what I was going say, so I just stand still, waiting for him to make the next move. He starts to leave again but only goes a few feet; he lifts his arm and pounds his fist on a nearby tree. Then leans his forehead against the tree and after a while he looks back at me. "Why'd you have to do that?" he asks, begging me for an answer, "Why are you doing this to me?" I have no answer for him. So, I just stare blankly back into his stormy gray eyes. He shakes his head and walks deeper into the woods.

So, I'm left standing alone in the middle of the woods. I can feel my heart pounding in my throat, it makes my head hurt. Backing up to lean against the tree Gale punched, I start to feel like the weight of all the world has just fallen on me and is threatening to crush me. I slide down and start to cry again.

Why am I doing this? I whisper to myself. I know I love Gale, but I love Peeta more. I decided this, I know my choice… So, why am I crying? I don't cry. Stop it, Katniss! Stop it right now! I command myself, but the tears keep coming. Katniss Everdeen, stop ri—

"Why did you pick him?" I jump; Gale is looking down at me. I still find it eerie how silently he can move. He stares straight into my eyes, like he's trying to read the thoughts still inside my head. "Just tell me, what does he have, that I don't? Am I not good enough? What's wrong with me, Katniss?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with you, Gale."

"Why then?"

"Don't make me do this. Can't we just-"

"No. I need to know why, right now."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I love you. I loved you first. So, just tell me, why him and not me?"

"Because he-"

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta calling for me from a ways away. It must be time to go meet the citizens of District 13. I start to walk away, but as I do I still hear Gale behind me murmur, "Don't Go."

~theeShadyLady~