A/N- Yes, this is me, theeShadyLady. Thanks to my loyal readers, for continuing to follow me throughout this little story of mine. This is the next chapie! YAY! Hope you like. :D

((DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Hunger Games.))

Ch. 6:"Not Anymore"

Peeta takes my hand as we all walk, my heart is racing, and I start to feel a little dizzy from my conversation with Gale. It feels good to have Peeta to steady me as I walk. With my free hand I try to wipe away the tear stains I feel on my face. Everything around me seems to be going in fast-forward, but I feel like I'm in slow-motion.

Peeta continues holding my hand as the ceremony begins, and the announcer starts listing off people alphabetically. "Haymitch Abernathy," the announcer calls, and Haymitch staggers up onto the stage obediently. The announcer continues to call off names, but I don't pay too much attention, until, "Gale Hawthorne." Peeta squeezes my hand reassuringly. I brace myself for seeing him again, but he doesn't come. "Gale Hawthorne? Are you out there?" The announcer repeats loudly, "Mr. Hawthorne, can you please come on to the stage?" I know where ever Gale is he can hear the announcements; he just doesn't want to come up.

The announcer moves on from Gale and continues calling people up. I slip my hand out of Peeta's and sneak away from the stage. I run back to the woods and look for Gale, but he's not there. Not sure where else to look, I head towards the stage to try and sneak back next to Peeta without being noticed. But when I pass by the train I hear something inside. So, I walk into the closest door and start searching the cars. I get to District 12's car and I see a very broken man stretched out on the couch. It's Gale, he's got a bottle of whiskey in his left hand and three more broken ones on the floor.

He sees me and says in slightly slurred words, "I am not goeen on stage with... him... You wouldn't like it if I got mad and punched him... in the face" He throws the half full bottle at the wall, and laughs.

I stare at him in disbelief, "What are you doing? You never drink."

"Actually, I do now… It helps…" he pauses and then adds, "sometimes."

"Get up!" I order him.

"Nah."

"Gale, get your ass up off that couch. This is not you. I am not going to let you be like this."

He laughs an awful laugh, "Let me? You made me like this!"

Why can't he just punch me in the gut a few times? It would hurt less than what he's been doing today. I shake my head in disagreement and attempt to pull him off of the couch. But he's too heavy and soon I give up.

"Dammit, Gale! Get up!" I scream at him as he reaches for another bottle of whiskey from a nearby table. I swing my arm at him, but miss and hit the other bottles causing them to shatter. I notice blood on the floor and when I look down at my arm I see there is a long gash in my arm with a broken piece of the bottle in it. My whole arm starts to sting as the shock from my injury passes, but I've lived through worse, much worse.

Gale sees that I'm hurt and it seems to sober him. He looks for a towel or a cloth to use bandage. He gives up and rips off a section of his shirt and hands to me as he looks at the glass in my arm. "Don't look," he directs me and I do what he says. I feel him clamp his hand on my arm, just above where the glass is. "Uhh!" I cry as I feel the glass being yanked out of my arm. He grabs one of the unbroken bottles of whiskey and pours it on my wound as another cry escapes from my mouth. Without looking, I shakily hand him the piece of his shirt and he wraps it around my arm. "You're probably going to need stitches for that."

"I'll have my mother look at it." We continue to stand not facing each other, but I can tell he is waiting. Waiting for me to tell him what he wants to hear. "I'm sorry," I say, "for... for everything."

"Just tell me."

I sigh, I can't avoid it forever. "I need him, Gale."

"And you don't need me?" he asks me with a pain-filled voice.

"Not anymore."

He looks away from me, "What changed? How come you stopped needing me?"

"He went through the same things I did, Gale. He suffered the same way I did."

"I did, too!" he yells, his eyes are filled with rage as he turns his head to face me. "I lost my father the same day you did! I watched my family starve, just like you! I took care of an entire family, WITH you!"

"It's not the same thing!"

"How is it any different?! I knew I should have volunteered the second, he was chosen! I could have been there for you! It could have been so easy for us. But I knew I couldn't, because I knew you would never forgive me if left our kids alone." I flinch as he says our kids and I am pulled back into the memory that I have tried to keep locked away.

Gale is sitting beside me on a rock; it's the morning of the 74th Reaping. "We could do it you know," Gale says quietly. "What?" I ask. "Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it," says Gale. I don't respond. "If we didn't have so many kids," he adds quickly.

Again I shake my head violently to make the memory go away, because I don't want to start thinking about all the "what ifs?"

"I knew the moment he said that he loved you, I had lost. But, I was in love with you first... it just took me a little longer to realize it. And by the time, I got another chance to tell you it was too late for me."

"Peeta loved me first! He's loved me since the first day of school, when we were five! You didn't love me until you thought it was possible that you could lose me!"

"Well, Bread Boy didn't love enough to even talk to you. The first time he talked to you was after you were drawn for the Games! All he did was stare at you! At least I talked to you, even before I realized that I loved you! I knew everything about you, Katniss!"

"You never-"

"I was going to tell you how I felt when I was saying goodbye to you after the 74th Reaping. If only I had two more seconds… everything would be different... the whole country would be different. Who knew three words could actually change the world?"

"Gale, I-" I reach up to touch his face, but he pulls away.

"I have to go." And all too soon Gale leaves me.

When I get back to the stage, I see that I have missed my call and Peeta is standing on the stage without me. Instead of trying to sneak up next to him, I search for my mother in the crowd. "Mom?" I touch her arm and she turns around. Her eyes widen when she sees my arm, the blood is already coming through the shirt making it look even worse.

"Come on." She says heading behind the stage. I follow as she leads me underneath the stage and into one of the rooms, "Sit." I do as she says. She pulls out a needle from a desk that's nearby and some thread from a one of the drawers in a nearby desk. I look away as she stitches my wound together. When she is finished I nod to thank her and she does the same. Then I walk away without a saying a word to her.

I walk out from under the stage and see that everyone has left except Peeta, who is sitting on the edge of the stage. "Hey," he says as I hop up on the stage to sit next to him.

"Hey."

"Where'd you go?"

I don't reply.

"Gale?" he asks quietly. I sigh, feeling somewhat guilty. I know that even though Peeta doesn't say it, he can't stand all the time I've spent with Gale today.

"Sorry," I whisper.

"For what?"

Oh, maybe he doesn't care about me talking to Gale. I sneak a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. Nope, he cares. A lot. He's trying to hide his jealousy, but I know better, I can read him like an open book. "Let's go, everyone's down below." He slides off the stage and offers me a hand to help me down. We walk towards the entrance doors of "the underground." I try to take his hand as we walk, but instead of taking it, he runs one of his hands through his hair and then shoves both hands into his pockets.

We enter a worn out looking building and then walk to the farthest wall. Peeta takes down a picture frame from the wall to reveal a keypad. He quickly types in the eight number sequence and there is a sound of metal sliding over metal. By the time I notice that a hidden door has opened on the left wall of the room, Peeta has already walked through the door and is going down the tunnel that lies on the other side. I run to catch up with him, when I do I see a crowd of people in the room at the end of the tunnel. We push past them and go over to stand by Annie and Johanna.

After about an hour, we are all instructed to take a seat in the next room for dinner. Right away, I notice that Gale isn't at any of the tables. After we are all served, about thirty District citizens walk to the front of the room to read speeches and give toasts. Most of the toasts are dedicated to me and Peeta, but a couple are for Johanna and one is an angry capital citizen who somehow snuck in. As he is dragged away by guards, he is still screaming about how I ruined everything.

The man's words hurt me, even though I know they shouldn't. He is a stupid man, who just wants to upset me. And it works. Suddenly, I can't breathe and I need to get out of the room. I stand up and slip into the closest hallway. Once I'm in the hall I see a slightly open door at the very end of it. When I walk in Gale is sitting on an ugly blue chair in the corner of the room. He smiles, "I knew you'd find me."

~theeShadyLady~