Emma has never considered herself a reader.
She's read Harry Potter, of course, but again, who hasn't? But she's never been one to curl up with a book at the end of a long day, nor has she actively sought the latest New York Times bestseller. She prefers the film version to the text, and would pick Colin Firth over the actual Jane Austen book any day. As for textbooks, well, researching has never been her thing.
Now, as she pores over the ancient texts Regina had lent her referencing magical children, she wishes she had honed those researching skills.
Killian helps. He lives up to his claim that he's "surprisingly good at research." He is. He makes notes, tabs pages with Post-its, and even reads aloud while she's feeding Wendy.
The only problem is that they don't know what they're looking for.
-/-
Her parents remain hopeful, giving them their patented "Charming Family speeches" that Regina oh-so loves to mock. But Emma can't help but wonder how they would be feeling if their roles were reversed, and it was her baby brother, not Wendy, with the surprise magical powers.
They're not sure exactly why Wendy has magic.
The magic could be a side-effect of Zelena's spell, the Wicked Witch's magic falling to the nearest vessel when the woman died.
It could be something she's always had, inherited from Emma, but since she had been born in the Land Without Magic, her powers had been latent until now.
Since she was conceived in Neverland, her magic might be similar to that land's.
It could be something else.
The words "Product of True Love" remain unspoken, but always linger in the air as Emma does her best to ignore it.
She's not a particular fan of any of the theories, each scaring her in different ways.
-/-
"So how are things with Hook?" her mother asks over breakfast.
It's just the two of them at the loft, a suggestion from her father that the two of them deserved mother and daughter time, sans infants. Emma's not sure what her father and Killian are doing with the babies, but she appreciates the time spent with Mary Margaret.
"Things are fine. He's great with Wendy," Emma says absentmindedly as she butters a piece of toast. "He's a bit freaked out about the magic thing, but we both are."
"I wasn't talking about how things are with him and Wendy. I want to know how things are going with you and him."
Emma nearly chokes on her toast.
It's not that she doesn't want to tell her mother about her and Killian's thing. She just doesn't even know what that thing is. It's almost as if they've regressed, going from sex, to sweet kisses, to nothing over the past few days. Longing glances, hand-holding, and occasional cuddles, sure, but those do not a relationship make. Or do they?
As much as Emma loves having her parents, she sometimes misses Mary Margaret, the roommate. She wishes she could have someone to discuss her strange situation with Killian without the awkwardness of delving into her sex life – or lack thereof – with her mother. Killian is without a doubt her best friend currently, but it's not as if she can discuss him with, well, him. She and Regina don't have that kind of relationship, and even if they did, the other woman's anger about Zelena's death still permeates every conversation. Wendy's magic and Henry are the only real safe topics.
"It's…going," she says finally, albeit lamely. At her mother's pointed stare, she sighs. "Here's the thing, I don't really know what's going on, so it's not like I trying to avoid telling you anything, it's just that I really have no idea."
Mary Margaret hums. "He likes you, Emma."
"I know."
"Do you like him?"
"Mom, I know you work in an elementary school, but we both know relationships go far beyond who likes who," Emma tells her as she rolls her eyes.
"They do," Mary Margaret replies, hiding her smile behind a mug of tea, "but it's a start."
-/-
She likes Killian, okay?
Emma is even willing to admit that she more than likes him. She's not emotionally stunted enough to deny any of that that.
It's just…things are infinitely complicated between them. They're in a good place right now, she and him. They make each other laugh, and he gives nice hugs, and the most recent time they kissed, it was great. She feels as if she can talk to him about everything – from her fears regarding Wendy's safety, to her struggles with her parents, to mindlessly bitching about the dwarves. And he's so good with Wendy. He loves their kid, and it willing to do anything to be with her. He even wants to be around Henry, and bond with him, and it's just so wonderful that it makes her lo– like him more.
And that's the problem.
Because things are good for them – so very, very good – and Emma worries that if she puts a label on whatever they have, things might change. She doesn't want things to change. Emma wants things to continue to stay good and happy and comfortable.
Because that's the thing – she's happy.
-/-
She distracts herself from whatever it is with Killian by looking at apartments.
Only she doesn't do that great of a job, because one of her first considerations is finding a place that doesn't belong to Gold. Unsurprisingly, it is a difficult and limiting task.
Her decision isn't entirely because of Killian. It would be silly to make living concessions due to a guy she isn't even in a relationship with. Wendy factors in too, of course, Regina's warning ringing in her ears. Keeping more barriers between her daughter and the Dark One, no matter how insignificant, sounds like a solid plan.
-/-
The first place she and Henry visit is a definite "no". The floor plan is strange, the rooms full of awkward angles. She doesn't even think she can fit her bed into what is supposed to be the master bedroom without getting creative.
The second place is much too close to the school for Henry's liking, and though she teases that is a silly reason not to live there, she agrees to continue to shop around.
The third place is nice, but she is distracted the entire tour by what sounds like a yipping dog upstairs.
"Oh, that's just Evita," the landlady says with a wave of her hand, clearly not bothered. Emma wonders if she is insane.
She doesn't remember it being so difficult in New York, but situations were different then. She now has two kids and a pirate with an archenemy. It's a strange conflation of factors, but it's all worth it, she thinks.
But when she drops Henry off at Regina's that night, she knows she needs to find a place fast.
-/-
"Of all the delicacies in this realm, pizza might actually be my favorite," Killian says as he steals his third slice of meat-lovers from the box. He hums when he takes a bite, and Emma stifles a laugh, because it's actually kind of adorable.
"It's everyone's favorite. You're a lizard person if you hate pizza," she tells him, enjoying the way his brow ruffles in confusion at her reference. "Don't worry. Lizard people aren't real. It's a joke."
"I think you enjoy referencing things I don't understand," he replies, his voice taking a conspiratorial tone. "That's bad form, love."
"It may be bad form, but it's fun."
And it is fun.
Emma enjoys teasing him, and talking to him, and introducing him to new things. It's only later that she realizes that when she moves out of the inn and into her new place – whenever and whatever that may be – she won't get this every night. She'll be there and he'll be at the inn. The thought makes her a little sad.
She wants to have it all, but Emma doesn't know how.
-/-
With Henry at Regina's, Killian hasn't been going back to his rented room, opting instead to stay in hers. Nothing untoward happens, not that if anything happened it would be untoward.
But with the exception of the night after Wendy's rescue, he sleeps in what had been Henry's bed, and he acts every bit the gentleman he once claimed to be.
-/-
It strikes her that Killian doesn't hit on her anymore.
If Emma thinks about it, really thinks, she has been the one to initiate everything between them since New York.
She had been the one to kiss him most recently. He reciprocated the kiss, sure, but it had been her who moved in first.
And when they hooked up in New York, she had been the one to start things. Of course, that had been more of a "one minute they were talking on the couch, and the next minute they were naked and fucking" sort of encounter, but Emma remembers being the one to take the plunge then too.
Even when she feeds Wendy, he doesn't even blush anymore.
It's honestly a bit disappointing.
-/-
"For just five minutes can we pretend that you aren't my mother, but instead my old roommate?" Emma asks Mary Margaret the next time she's at the loft.
"Oh, honey, is everything okay?" her mother asks, and she sounds so concerned and motherly that Emma almost backs out of the conversation. Almost.
"Everything's fine. It's just that—remember how you asked me about how things were between Hook and I?" Emma can feel her cheeks flush as her mother nods. "It's just that's the thing – nothing exactly is happening."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, nothing is happened. We kissed –"
"I think you did more than kiss."
"Yeah, and that's the thing. Hehasn'tbeenactinglikehewantstodomorethankiss." Emma spits out the last part quickly, and she knows her face is burning red, because even though she's pretending this is her friend, Mary Margaret is still her mother and – oh, God, this is a mistake.
"Well, it does make sense," Mary Margaret says evenly, tapping her chin in thought. "You do sort of have final say over whether of not he sees Wendy. Maybe he thinks if his advances aren't well received, you might limit how much he sees her?"
Emma gapes at her mother. "That makes me sound like a monster. I wouldn't do that to him."
"I know that, and I'm sure deep down he knows that, but fear is a funny thing."
"But I want to have sex with him!"
It's then when her father chooses to walk back into the loft after a diaper run. The only thing redder than his face might just be hers. Mary Margaret simply laughs.
-/-
On her walk back to the inn, she considers her mothers words. Could Killian actually think that if he tried anything that she might take Wendy away? It's an insulting thought, because she had already told him that she wanted him to be a fixture in their daughter's life.
But the more she considers her mother's words, the more it begins to make sense. Because, in a way, isn't that why she hasn't been pushing to move things forward with him?
-/-
It's only after a short detour that she decides they are both idiots.
And she resolves to him that when she gets back to tell him as much.
That is, if she doesn't chicken out.
-/-
She chickens out.
-/-
He joins her and Henry on their next apartment tour. Wendy is strapped to his chest, and the sight is honestly one of the hottest things she's ever seen. Not that she's going tell him that, because she's chicken.
(But so is he.)
-/-
The place is perfect.
It's two bedrooms with a den that can easily be converted into a nursery. There's hardwood throughout, with large windows that let in a large amount of natural light.
And it's by the water.
Killian mentions takes note when he stands by the window in what could be Wendy's nursery.
"Look, little love, you can see the waves from here. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Wendy, despite having no idea what her father is talking about squeals with delight.
It's that which makes her decide to request a rental application.
-/-
Moving means going back to the New York to get their things.
Her father insists on coming along, because someone has to drive the moving van.
"Hook doesn't have a license, you know."
Emma tries to talk him out of it. He has a newborn baby at home, but even her mother insists that he do this.
"Let him, Emma. Helping you move is one of the few things he can still do for his very adult little girl."
Emma can't say no to that.
-/-
The day they head out to the city, Killian surprises her by showing up in new, modern clothes.
"Since we're going back to your world, I thought it would be best to blend in," he says simply, as if his change in attire is the most obvious conclusion in the world.
"That's a good idea," she replies, when all she really wants to say is, "You look fantastic."
-/-
Henry opts to ride with David on the ride to New York, leaving just Emma and Killian alone in the car with Wendy. Killian spends an inordinate amount of time playing with the radio.
"I swear to God, Killian, if you get it stuck on a country station, I will push you out of this car."
He winks.
"Aye, aye, Captain."
Insufferable, hot, pirate bastard.
-/-
It's weird being back in her old apartment.
It's also strangely emotional, because she does have so many good memories here – movie nights with Henry, bringing Wendy home, introducing her to Killian.
But in Storybrooke, they can make more memories. Happy ones.
Emma goes for her first box.
-/-
Packing with a baby is less than ideal. More often than not, Emma, David, Killian, and Henry all end up taking turns from to break from boxing things up to entertain Wendy.
"On the bright side, she isn't crawling yet."
"Yet."
Somehow, Emma already suspects Wendy is going to be a terror once mobile – especially if she takes after her father.
-/-
They order pizza for dinner. She's not sure who is more excited by the meal – Henry or Killian.
-/-
"I can't believe you like pineapple on your pizza. Weirdo."
"Better that than a lizard person."
-/-
Bedtime is a frustrating and complicated affair.
Henry goes to his room, and Wendy sleeps in her bassinet. Her father claims the couch, which leaves Killian.
"You can bunk with me," Emma offers, because it's not like they haven't shared a bed before. Besides, it's not as if anything would happen with their daughter in the room, and David in the room over.
David, of course, gapes at Emma's suggestion
"Or he could sleep on the floor."
"Your father's right, love. I can sleep—"
"This is completely stupid," Emma sighs, throwing up her arms. "Dad, Hook and I have a kid. Whatever you're trying to prevent, we've done. Killian, you are not sleeping in the floor. I need you ready and able to load all of this shit, and I'm am not having you complain about a sore back."
She feels a surge of pride and the way both Killian and David's jaws drop.
-/-
Of course, it is now when Emma finds her confidence, blanketed in the darkness of the bedroom, Killian laying tensely beside her, and her father in the next room over.
She's never been one with good timing.
She rolls over to face Killian, trying to make out his features in the dark room. He's laying on his back, and she's sure his eyes are closed. She can tell by his breathing that he's not yet asleep.
"Killian?"
He hums in response, but does not move towards her. She opens her mouth to say something, but she hears David snore, and she knows now isn't the time, no matter how much she wants it to be.
"Sleep well."
-/-
At some point in the night, they gravitate toward one another, their legs tangled and his arm curled protectively around her waist.
-/-
The next day is a flurry of more moving boxes and piling things into both the bug and van. Killian and her father seem to have some sort of macho "who can move the heaviest boxes" thing going on between them, and she rolls her eyes.
"Boys are silly," she tells Wendy.
-/-
She's been so caught up with moving things, that she doesn't notice that there hasn't been any magical activity from Wendy since they crossed the town line until Killian mentions it.
"When we first found out, I thought about running away back to here, so she wouldn't have to deal with magic," she confesses.
"Do you still want to?"
"Honestly? A little," she says, "but I know running away wouldn't solve anything. Not really."
If she says it enough times, she'll believe it.
-/-
Eventually, everything is packed and moved into the van.
Emma takes one last look around the apartment, and closes the door.
-/-
Emma spends the drive back regaling Killian with stories from her year in New York. It's therapeutic, and he appears to sense that, because he continually asks her questions that allow her to talk more.
"So, like, the day you showed up, I was actually going to take Wendy to this 'Mommy & Me' session thing," she tells him. "I didn't really want to go, but I thought it might be good to introduce her to more baby playmates, or at least try to make more friends. It sounded so cheesy, though, so I was dreading it a bit. So, in a way, you saved me from that."
"Glad to be of service, Swan."
She's quiet for a moment, thinking about that day. He had been so confused when she opened the door and instantly recognized him. She'd been too overwhelmed then to really think on it then, but now that she remembers his first surprise, she can't seem to shake it.
"Wait a second, you expected me to not remember you!"
He shifts in his seat. "Aye."
"And you only had one vial of magic."
"Aye."
"So there would have been no way to get back both mine and Henry's memories."
"Unfortunately, no."
"So what was your plan to get me to take the vial of memory potion? We're you gonna spike it like I did with Henry?"
"I hadn't though that far in advance," he says, and Emma knows he is lying. She just isn't sure why he's lying about his plan, because it makes no sense. It's something that didn't even happen, so there's no reason to obfuscate.
"That's a lie. Superpower, remember? What were you going to do, True Love's Kiss my memories back or something?"
Oh. Oh.
-/-
They don't talk for awhile after that. Emma's head is spinning at Killian's confession, or lack of confession. She's trying to wrap her head around the fact that he thinks they're True Love, or at the very least, at one point, had hoped they were True Love.
She had not been prepared for this conversation, and all she wants to do is run away, but she can't. Maybe she should be grateful, because being in the bug means that she can't chicken out of this, as much as she wants to, because they're on the freaking interstate.
"It wouldn't have worked," she says finally. She glances over to him, but he's not looking at her. In fact, he seems to be trying to look at anything but her. "True Love's Kiss doesn't work when memories are altered. It's in Henry's book."
"I did not know that," he says, and he seems to relax little by little. She's being a bit unfair to him, because he's more or less put his heart on the table – or rather, she forced him to do so – and she hasn't said anything back.
She wants to though. She's just not sure how. She wishes she had been prepared, and silently curses herself for chickening out all those times before when she was. She's never been one with words, and it's not as if she can kiss him behind the wheel going 80 mph. But she needs to say something.
So, she tells him what she's feeling now.
"I'm glad you wanted to try."
-/-
If her father and Henry notice a subtle shift in her and Killian's relationship by the time they roll into Storybrooke, they don't comment on it. Everyone's too tired to upack the van, so they settle on moving everything in the morning.
David kisses her on the cheek, and rushes back to the loft to see Mary Margaret and baby Neal. Henry goes to Regina's.
That leaves Emma, Killian, and Wendy to head back to the inn.
As with previous nights, he follows her into her rented room. This will be the last night she stays there, the last she will have with him immediately close by. She hands Wendy off to him, allows him to hug his daughter a bit closer.
And when they put the baby down, and she crawls into bed, she takes his hand and urges him to join her. Unlike the previous night in New York, they don't stay on opposite sides, but immediately gravitate into one another's arms.
They sleep.
-/-
Unpacking is easier than packing, if only because Emma has magic.
"That's cheating," Killian teases, but she can hear the relief in his voice that he doesn't have to carry the sofa up the stairs and into her living room.
Magic isn't so terrible after all.
-/-
Though it took considerably less effort, Emma rewards her family with ice cream for the moving help.
The woman behind the counter is nice, and gives them all free cones, despite both Emma and David insisting on paying.
"You're the Savior, Emma," the woman, Ingrid, says. "You've saved us so many times, it's the very least I could do."
It's a strange sort of charity, but Emma takes it.
-/-
Henry goes to bed early that night. Emma is happy to have both of her kids under one roof again, finally feeling at home and settled. She knows she won't get him every night, but this is better than nothing. Of course, this also means she doesn't see Killian every night either, which is sad in its own right.
He stays late that night, playing with and cuddling Wendy. Even when Wendy finally falls asleep, her continues to hold her, sprawled longwise on the couch.
"You know, you don't have to stay at the inn anymore," Emma says, curling up on the loveseat. "I mean, since Henry has his memories back, and we're not staying anymore, there's no reason why you can't go back to your ship. Besides, the harbor is closer to here than the inn."
He looks at his strangely, brows furrowed. "Swan, have you been to the harbor?"
"Yes," she replies, not quite following. She hasn't thoroughly explored the area, but she's been.
"The Jolly isn't there, love."
She feels a bit stupid for not realizing sooner. She had always assumed that a cloaking spell had been placed on the thing to hide it from the witch, or from Henry so he wouldn't ask why a giant pirate ship was hanging out in Storybrooke's harbor. "Then where is it?"
He shrugs.
"Killian, where's your ship?"
"Likely in another realm," he replies, and his voice is somewhat sad. He looks down at Wendy in his arms, and strokes a finger down her back. "Don't worry yourself over it, Swan."
"But why is it in another realm?" she asks, because the Jolly Roger is Killian's most prized possession. She's heard the way he talks about it. He's a pirate, and it's his ship. He can't be a pirate without his ship. "Killian, what happened to your ship?"
He looks uncomfortable, trapped, and very much like he doesn't want to be holding a baby right now. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I had to get rid of it, make a trade."
"You traded your ship? What could be so valuable that it's worth a ship?"
"A magic bean."
And, oh, this hits her harder than anything else he's told her. He came back for her. He wanted to try True Love's Kiss with her. He—
"You traded your ship for me?"
"Aye."
She wishes he weren't holding Wendy right now. She wishes that Wendy was in her bassinet, if only so she can grab Killian and kiss him, because he gave up his ship for her. He didn't even know Wendy existed, and still he gave up his ship to find her.
"You really love me, don't you?"
He licks his lips, and looks into her eyes.
"Aye."
-/-
Eventually, he moves Wendy to her bassinet, and in no time at all, they're kissing.
They're standing in her apartment in Storybrooke, in her home, and they're kissing.
He loves her, maybe truly loves her, and he wants to be with her, and she wants to be with him.
Her son is sleeping in his bed and her daughter in sleeping in the cradle, and she's home. She's home, she's home, she's home.
And for a moment, Emma believes she's found her happily ever after.
