The stairs to the Queen Anne house creak under his boots, and he notes it will be something he'll need to fix. The keys are a comfortable, yet unfamiliar, weight in his hand. He runs his thumb over the cuts, nervous as he is, as he approaches the front door. Should Emma be amenable to this proposal – but not a proposal – this be the last time he approaches the glass-paned entrance as the sole owned of the home.

He takes a deep breath, and spares a glance to the baby strapped to his chest.

"Shall we, Cygnet?"

Wendy kicks and bounces in the carrier, her movements uncomfortable, but a hopeful sign of the excitement to come.

Killian Jones unlocks the door, and crosses the threshold what he hopes will be their future.

-/-

Weeks ago, Emma had confessed in a faraway land that she longed for a "picket fence life". At the time, he hadn't known what she meant, another reference on the long list of references he didn't quite understand, but Killian had vowed to provide her that life.

He likes to think he's kept that promise.

The house he found has both a picket fence and a yard. Though Emma has never expressed too much interest in a yard, Killian knows they are important. Dave speaks highly of them, as they make for a good place for children to play and for families to barbeque.

He's not so sure about the barbequing thing, but Killian imagines chasing Wendy a few years from now, her laughter ringing out, and Emma watching from the wraparound porch, a soft and beautiful smile on her face.

-/-

He almost didn't get the chance to even get to this point.

Killian can still recall with distinct clarity his heart in the Crocodile's hand, the pain as his enemy squeezed overshadowed by his own guilt.

Guilt at failing Emma. Guilt at failing Wendy.

It had all been his fault too.

Killian had been foolish to think he could blackmail the Dark One – and for what? His hand?

It had all been because he had accidently cut Wendy with the tip of his hook. Though it was superficial thing, easily healed by Emma, he had hated himself for it. And he thought, so stupidly thought, if he had two hands, he wouldn't hurt her again.

Killian had only wanted to be a better father – and he'd almost died for it.

-/-

The walls of the house are bare, and the hardwood gleams. He envisions toys scattered across the floor and photographs lining the walls, just as they are in Emma's apartment.

Killian notes that come the holidays, there is enough space in the front sitting room for a Christmas tree – a large one like Emma had professed to wanting, but couldn't fit into her current abode. And since there is a fireplace, she can hang stockings with care, one for each of them – herself, himself, Henry, and Wendy. He doesn't quite understand all the holidays in this realm, but he appreciates the ones with emphasis on family. And, well, now that he has a family, he wants it all.

He delights in the fact that furniture would not have to be cramped so close together, leaving much more space for Wendy to take her first steps. And he would be there for her firsts this time around, not at the inn like he had been the first time she had crawled.

He hopes and prays Emma will like it.

-/-

Killian hates living apart from Emma and Wendy.

He had grown accustomed to having them across the hall, and later, in the same room at the inn. As exhausting as it had been, he'd enjoyed waking up at odd hours when Wendy cried, usually in want of food, to spend time with both her and Emma. In those moments, it had just been the three of them, ensconced in their own tiny world away from the demands of the town. And though he had always known it was a temporary arrangement, it didn't mean he had to like it when they left.

It isn't as if he doesn't see them regularly. He watches Wendy during the day while Emma works as the sheriff. He enjoys those moments, just him and Wendy. He knows it won't make up for missing the first few months of her life, but perhaps…

He wants to not just see his daughter when Emma works, or the odd nights he keeps her at the inn, or even the few times he stays over at Emma's apartment. He wants to tuck her in at night, and greet her when she wakes, and not miss any more moments or milestones.

And it's not just Wendy he wants to see day in and day out, but Emma, as well.

They go on dates, he brings her lunch, and they work together to stop whatever bloody villain has chosen to attack Storybrooke. But Killian wants more. He longs to wake up every morning with Emma curled into his side, and not just when Henry stays with Regina. He wants to make her coffee using her infernal machine, and not just bring it to her on their morning walks. He wants a life with her, even more than what they've cobbled together.

It's just that he wants.

The house has three floors, and an equal number of bedrooms – two on the second, and one on the third. The master bedroom is larger than any room Killian has slept in before, an admittedly easy record to break considering he's spent most his life upon a ship. But still, it is large and has its own washroom. The washroom even has both a shower and tub, which Killian thinks is somewhat of a waste of space. However, Emma might not think so, and that's all that matters, really. He knows she takes showers most days, but every now and then, she enjoys a bubble bath to relax. This allows her both.

A second, smaller bedroom shares a wall with the master room. This room, Killian thinks, would make for a perfect nursery – one fit for a princess. Wendy's nursery now is small, and in a few years, she'll likely outgrow it. Emma's noted the same thing, so Killian knows he's not wrong in his assumption. This room could serve Wendy very well into her teenage years. Killian relishes in thought of providing his daughter a permanent home, something neither he nor Emma had in their own childhoods. He wants so terribly to right by her, and this very well could be the correct start.

With the assumption that all will go according to plan, Henry has already laid claim to the third floor bedroom.

"Yeah, there is no way I'm sharing a wall with you guys," Henry had said the first time they had visited the house prior to making a formal offer. "I'm trying to have as few life-scarring moments as possible."

And, well, Killian can't begrudge the boy that.

-/-

Sex, Killian has learned, is difficult when one has an infant.

It's almost if, on top of her already-existing magic, Wendy has developed a sort of psychic ability to sense whenever he and Emma are about to partake in certain activities. No matter how short or long of period it has been since they've placed her down for nap, she will almost always wail before even the most exciting pieces of clothing are removed.

It's enough to drive a man mad.

He had thought that the night in New York when he had shared a bed with Emma as her father slept in the next room was fraught with tension – Gods, he had wanted nothing more than to roll over and rut her into the mattress just as they had done the night they reunited – but, oh, that had been nothing.

Balancing a child, living at different residences, and Henry bouncing from her apartment to Regina's means that they experience a number of dry spells. As it stands, despite her earlier protestations to the contrary, Emma does apparently like "dick pics", and has requested him for some on more than one occasion. "Sexting", as she calls it, has gotten them through lonelier nights, but he much prefers her presence.

They do have sex – make love, fuck, whatever they can get at this point – but it's nowhere near the frequency they would like.

He's not fond of the fact that they've resorted to asking Emma's parents or Belle to babysit so they can come together. Not that they tell them that. No, they're taking a much-needed date night, they say. And the first time that he and Emma went on a date, it was a proper date. She wore a stunning dress, and he planned a lovely evening, and he returned her to her apartment where her parents had been watching Wendy and their own young son.

The prince and princess did not need to know that his and Emma's second through sixth date consisted of him whisking Emma back to his rented room at the inn, where they both raced to see who could remove their clothing the fastest.

And while living together might not solve all of their problems, it has to improve things, right?

He and Wendy inspect each room. Killian narrates each action for Wendy's benefit. He's read that conversing with a child, no matter how one-sided it may be, is beneficial for their development. She babbles as he goes, not quite making words. Killian pretends she is sharing her excitement for his new home.

There's a running bet going within the Charming family just what her first word will be. Dave swears it will be 'Grandpa', no matter how improbable the guess. Emma's mother believes she will say "Mama". Emma thinks it will be "no", their daughter being the spirited thing that she is. Killian, however, selfishly wishes that it will be some variant of "Papa" or "Dada" or whatever she chooses to refer to him as.

Maybe, if she says that first, it will mean that he didn't fail her the first few months of her life with his absence. Maybe

-/-

He had honestly never truly envisioned being a father.

"A life at sea is not fit for a child." That had been Milah's mantra when the guilt of abandoning Bae threatened to drown her. Killian had always felt some helplessness in those moments, promising that when the lad grew older and more capable, they'd go back for him. He'd known of no other way to assure her. He'd been the abandoned one once, and knew how it felt to be left behind. He loved Milah too much to lie to her, so he kept his promises to ones he thought he could keep.

She had never wanted any other child. She had been adamant that she couldn't have other children. Her coward of a husband had made a deal, she'd explained, and she never knew if it would apply to her.

"I don't want to risk damning a child to that fate, Killian. I won't do it," she'd sworn.

And he didn't mind, not really. As she'd said, "A life at sea is not fit for a child." Whenever they'd make port, they'd pay for the requisite potions and took the proper precautions, and that had been that. He didn't need children while he had her. Milah – beautiful, gorgeous, spirited Milah – had been enough.

And then she died. And later, he'd buggered up what he'd thought would be his only chance of fatherhood with Bae. From then on, fatherhood had been completely out of reach as vengeance consumed him.

And then – Wendy.

-/-

He loves her.

Gods, how he loves her.

She's part him and part Emma. She's wonderful.

And he has so bloody idea what he's done to deserve her.

-/-

It terrifies him, his past and how it relates to his daughter.

Right now, she looks at him as if he's her world. She smiles when she sees him and squeals at the sound of his voice. She falls to sleep in his arms. She is at peace with him. It's astounding.

"She's definitely a Daddy's girl," Emma says often, and that makes his chest swell with pride. But, he often wonders how long that will last. She reaches for him now, but when she learns of his past, the bloodshed he'd caused and the lives he taken, will she continue to be such a "Daddy's girl"?

Emma says she'll still love him.

"I know about all these things, and I still love you," she tells him. It's different, though, and he wishes she can see that. Emma's always known who he is and what he's done, and she's loved him in spite of that. Wendy will grow up believing him to be a good man, her hero. She will find out he is a killer, not know that going in. Killian dreads the day when Wendy's worldview of him is shattered, and he's knows it will never be the same.

-/-

The first time Emma told him she loved him, it had been before she was swept away in a swirl of darkness – his selfless, sacrificing Savior.

The second time she had told him, he had just given her a ring – it hadn't been a proposal, but a ring nonetheless – before she went away with the wizard to find a flame.

She is still hesitant with sharing her feelings often, only in near-death experiences or deep emotional discussions, but she loves him, and that is enough. But it's her hesitance that worries him about this admittedly grand gesture.

He knows, however, if he didn't do something drastic, his dream would never come to be. There'd be another villain, another realm, something upon something that would cause Emma to be distracted and delay. He doesn't regret his decision, but gods is he terrified.

-/-

He is going to ask her tonight.

Belle will babysit while he takes Emma on a date – a real date, not one where they fuck each other in oblivion.

He will wine and dine her, and then he will suggest that they take a walk. The walk will conveniently lead to the house, his house, where he will surprise her with a key.

Then, he'll ask her.

And after she says yes – gods, he hopes she will say yes – he'll take her inside, and then they'll fuck each other into oblivion.

-/-

Killian locks the door when he leaves.

It's a strange, surreal feeling – settling down with a home. For centuries, his life has been at sea. He's fallen to sleep to the gentle waves of the ocean, spent days and nights surrounded by nothing but the open water. He's gone wherever he's wanted whenever – different lands, different ports.

Now, he's grounded. He has roots binding him to this land in the form of his name on a paper. But even without the paper, he has been tied to Storybrooke for far longer. Emma and Wendy are here, Henry too. And though he now has his ship back, he's hardly sailed on her.

He knows it worries Emma. She fears that the sea and adventure may call out to him, leaving her behind like others before him. But he won't. He'd never.

He hopes this will be proof enough for her.

-/-

He's an American, or rather, he has a tiny slip of paper that says he's one.

"It's a Social Security card. It has an identification number and everything. Regina was able to work her magic, and bam, you're legal," Emma had explained gleefully after she handed it over to him. "Welcome to U.S.A. Yay America!"

"Swan, a pirate swears no allegiance to any land."

Ah, but then she'd explained it.

Having a Social Security number apparently means he is a citizen of this country, and it allows him to have a photo I.D. It also gives him permission to sign legal documents that apply outside of Storybrooke.

Such as an acknowledgment of paternity form.

"This way, no matter what happens, you'll always be Wendy's dad. This means you can have legal rights. She'll still be yours," Emma had said, her eyes brimming with tears. Killian did not know how to respond to that, so he'd simply taken her into his arms and kissed her.

That being said, he still refuses to call himself an American.

-/-

Killian wonders often what Liam would think of his life. His brother had always been a better man than he, a shining example of "good form" and all that it encompasses. So while Killian knows that his older brother would be ashamed of the pirate, the lech, and scoundrel he had become, he hopes desperately Liam would approve of the path he's taking now, a hero's path.

Emma calls him a hero, and though he's loath to believe it, others seem to think so, as well. Charming speaks fondly of him, and for everything he's done to her, Belle also claims he's heroic in nature.

"We all fail every now and then, Killian, what matters is that we get back up and do right again."

He hopes she is right.

Killian wishes so much he could introduce his older brother to Emma and to Wendy, to share with him his family. He would tease, of course, and scold Killian for falling for a lass above his station – "A princess, little brother!" – but oh, Liam would love Emma and Wendy. Killian knows it.

And, for once, it would mean Killian could his brother something that would make Liam proud.

-/-

They go back to Emma's apartment.

Emma had long since given him a key, and since Belle will be coming here to babysit Wendy, it makes the most sense. He settles Wendy into her play area, and they spend the next hour or so reading books and playing with her favorite toys. It's easy to distract himself from his nerves around her. She's at the age where she requires more maintenance than when they were first introduced. Then, he could leave her on the floor or in her crib to see to a quick task without worry that she would end up at the complete opposite side of the room and wreaking some havoc. Robin says it will only grow worse, especially once she becomes a toddler and develops an aversion to listening.

But Killian enjoys spending time with his daughter. Fatherhood is a different sort of adventure, one in which he is constantly learning. Emma says he's often too soft with her, averse as he is to letting her "cry it out". It's not that he's too soft, it's simply that he doesn't wish to see his child in any distress, and if Emma thinks he's spoiling her, then so be it.

Wendy continues to thoroughly impress him. She's at the point in her young life where she enjoys pulling herself up, but can't quite find the balance to take those first few precious steps. She's determined, though, that daughter of his. She doesn't let the fear of falling dictate her goals, even if it means she does so often. Every now and then, when she falls, she cries. He recognizes much of these cries as those for attention and because she has him wrapped around her tiny fingers, he lifts her anyway.

He'd do anything to keep her tears at bay and a smile on her face. Anything.

-/-

When Emma had been the Dark One, Wendy had cried whenever she was placed in her mother's arms. It was as if she had sensed something was wrong, that her mother had been infected by something dark and insidious, and she wanted nothing to do with it. And though Emma had looked as she always did, it seemed that Wendy considered her to be a stranger, and not her mother.

-/-

Henry texts him after school lets out. He will be staying with Robin and Regina for the night, but he still demands that Killian send him the "play-by-play" of the night.

It had been with Henry that Killian had first devised his plan. It had been important to Killian to have Henry's blessing. Being Emma's son, Henry was, and forever will be, a fixture in Emma's life. Without the boy's approval, Emma would never assent to any life-altering plans. Besides, he is fond of Henry, and hopes the lad sees him as an adequate enough figure in his life.

It makes him uncomfortable sometimes when Emma calls him a "father figure", not because Killian doesn't want to fulfill that role, but the guilt of replacing Bae in Henry's life is consuming. He's told Emma as much, and he assured him that it would never the case, but it still worries him occasionally. Nevertheless, it seems that Henry does like him well enough, because he had been completely on board with the plan when Killian had suggested all those weeks ago in Camelot.

The fact that the plan, Operation: Light Swan as the boy had named it, had kept Killian sane those in weeks is something he never hopes the boy to find out.

-/-

Emma arrives back to her home shortly after five, greeting both Killian and Wendy with a smile. She kisses him, a small chaste thing, before scooping up their daughter into her arms, laughing as Wendy squeals.

These are the moments Killian lives for, these tiny slivers and peace they're able to find amid the chaos of the world in which they live. He'll be forever content to live like this, to watch the woman he loves hold his child, both happy and safe.

-/-

Belle shows up to the apartment promptly a seven, a bag of books slung over her shoulder. Killian greets her with a hug, and welcomes her inside.

When she notices that Emma isn't in the main area, she turns to him and asks, "Nervous?"

He shrugs noncommittally, because though he is, he doesn't want to let on too much. Belle, the perceptive woman that she is, sees right through the act and assures him everything will be fine.

"Emma will love it."

"Love what?" the woman in question asks, sweeping into the room and proceeding to take Killan's breath away as he admires the cut of her dress and the curl of her hair.

He struggles with his words, and it is Belle who saves him. "The restaurant. Their mushroom risotto is fabulous."

If Emma notices the lie, she doesn't say. They then take turns proceeding to hug and kiss Wendy goodbye.

And so, their date begins.

Dinner is pleasant.

They drink wine, talk, and laugh. Emma orders the mushroom risotto. Belle had been correct in her lie, because Emma does, in fact, love the risotto. She makes him try a bite, and giggles when he pulls face. Mushrooms have never been a favorite of his, but he'll try anything for his Swan.

It's easy, courting Emma Swan. Well, easy might not be the correct word, but there's something simple about being around her. He's always at ease in her presence, and he relishes at how easy it is to draw a smile or laugh when she isn't burdened by the nature of her destiny.

"Thanks for this," she says after her pays, and they leave the venue hand-in-hand. "I needed I needed it."

-/-

In the aftermath of Camelot and her struggle with the darkness, she's been sullen, quiet. She smiles, but they don't always meet her eyes, and he knows her walls are creeping higher. He tries to be there, he really does, and maybe that's why he's doing this – to give her another bit of hope, something light to hold onto amidst the pain and guilt.

Killian doesn't wonder why Emma feels the way she does. He knows, and the blame lays squarely on Merlin's shoulders for all her put her through.

He recalls the horror on Emma's face, her joy at uniting the blade so short-lived, when Merlin told her what she needed to do. The darkness had to be transferred into a vessel and be killed, and that vessel was to be the wizard, himself.

"I've lived a long enough life, Emma," Merlin had said. "This is the only way we can rid ourselves the darkness for good."

And so, with tears streaming down her face, she'd killed him and the darkness was gone. Killian wishes he could have saved her from it all, be the one to take the life of the wizard so she'd be spared.

But he did not, could not. So, Killian gives her all he can, all he knows how.

-/-

"Where are we going?" Emma asks as he leads her down in what is, to her, an unfamiliar street.

"Patience, love, you'll see," he responds with a wink.

Emma rolls her eyes, but squeezes his hand tighter as they walk down the sidewalk. The concrete is decorated with chalk drawings, silly things like hearts and stars and stick-figures. He wonders if someday Wendy might make drawings such as these.

He stops in front of the house with a picket fence, and tugs Emma closer to him. He takes a deep breath. It's now or never.

-/-

"You bought a house," Emma repeats back to him for the third time.

They've long since moved from standing outside to inside the kitchen. Emma has said little since he made his announcement, instead repeating his statement over and over again. She spins around the room, almost as if she is unable to believe such a thing.

"It has a picket fence," he supplies, and she looks at him strangely. It strikes him that maybe she hadn't been literal when she described a "picket fence life", that maybe she had been caught up in the metaphor of what it had meant, and actually hates the things in reality.

"You bought this house for me," she says, and it phrased as a question, but more of a realization. Killian is quiet as he allows everything to sink in for her. He plans on formally asking her, but he knows Emma needs to at least come around to the idea, take it in. "After I said I wanted a picket fence life in Camelot, you bought a house with a picket fence for me."

"For us," he corrects, because he feels as if that part is important. "For our future. Yours, mine, Henry's, and Wendy's, if you'll have it."

He waits, his heart beating wildly in his chest for Emma to answer, to say something. He's been patient until now, so terribly patient, but it's all running out as he awaits the moment in which his heart will burst or break, and –

"Of course I'll have it."

-/-

They spend the rest of the evening talking about their plans for the house. Emma is excited, quite possibly the most excited Killian has seen her in ages.

"We can paint the walls any color we want."

"Aye."

"And we can line the walls with bookshelves."

"That we can."

"And we can have a huge Christmas tree!"

Killian grins. "Precisely."

-/-

They make love on the carpeted floor of what will be their bedroom. After, she curls into him and rests her head on his shoulder.

"Killian?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for buying us a house."

-/-

They don't move in until nearly a month later. A new villain rolls into town, Wendy comes down with a cold, they paint the walls, and it takes some time to pack everything up. But then the day comes, and with the assistance of Emma's family, Robin and Regina, and few unruly dwarves, they move everything from Emma's apartment and into the house.

-/-

That night, they sing Wendy songs in her nursery. Emma sits in her new rocking chair as Killian leans again the doorframe.

He remembers, not very long ago, how he had watch the woman he loved drive across the town line, believing he might never see her again. He recalls a year after that, knocking at her door, and standing in shock as she gasped his name, recognition in her eyes. And he can still feel the overwhelming wave of fear, surprise, and love washing over him as she placed their daughter into his arms for the very first time.

He watches them now, his two loves in their home, and for once in his life, Killian Jones is at peace.