A/N: Writing that Drabble series took too much of my time, but I'm back with this story, "Learn to Love Again", and my Battlestar fic "Roll the Hard Six" with regular updates. I'm transitioning into writing on my phone, so the increase in errors are all mine.
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What was that outburst back in the murder room? I never expected that from him, we're close, but I never expected physical contact like that. I'm not complaining, but I was definitely surprised. His hand is resting on the small of my back as he guides me through the door to our favorite trattoria a few blocks from work.
"Lieutenant, Captain." The hostess nods, and for the life of me I can't recall her name, "Your usual table?"
"Yes, please." Andy smiles brightly and for some reason I feel completely paralyzed. We received good news, but I feel like my entire body is made of concrete.
Andy gently ushers me into my side of the booth and I cautiously sit down, seeing him so happy, having him so close made me put my guard up. I can't be doing this with him, not while Rusty's life is at stake.
"You mustn't ever act like that at work again, do you understand?" I ask, averting my eyes to the menu, "It's unwanted attention."( Even though I truly want his attention.)
"It's exciting news Sharon!" He exclaims, happily smacking the palm of his hand on the table, "I'm overjoyed! Maybe it was a little much, but can't you just let me be happy for you?!"
There's a sincerity to his words, and as much as I want to accept them, to accept him, I can't. I won't let myself do something like that. It's reckless and irrational, and I am neither of those things.
"No Andy, this isn't your battle." I say simply as a waitress sits two glasses of water in front of us before walking away, "I know I asked you to support me, but I feel like I need to do this on my own."
He looks up at me sadly and I feel like something I haven't in a long time: a bitch.
"I don't want to let you do that. I care about you and Rusty and I don't want to just abandon the two of you."
"We aren't yours to abandon in the first place." I say sharply. I have no idea what I'm saying or why, it's like I'm not myself. I've just received some of the best news I could've hoped for and I'm treating Andy like garbage, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean, I-"
"Sharon, it's okay." He reaches across the table and gently taps my hand, I offer a resigned smile in my best attempt to apologize.
"Maybe this celebration was a bad idea. I should head back." I close my menu and stand up, surprised to feel a gentle pull on my hand.
"Please stay." He asks quietly, his warm hand still grasping my cool one as he pulls me gently back towards the booth, "I'm sorry for being so protective of you and Rusty. I just want to support you two the best I can."
"I appreciate that Andy, I really do." I admit as I sit back down, our hands still entwined, "But I, we, can't be doing," I motion to our hands with my other hand, "this while Rusty is sick, it'll be too much for him, too much for me and the consequences will be too much for either of us. There's so much going on and I don't think-"
"Sharon," he squeezes my hand and looks at me sincerely. I'm grateful he stopped me from babbling, "This," he squeezes my hand again, "is a hand-hold of support. Nothing else. This is one friend trying to comfort another friend in a completely platonic, non-romantic way. Don't get yourself so worked up over this. I told you I'd be here for you and Rusty, and I am. I'm not going to say I don't feel anything for you because well," he shrugs, "that would be a lie, but right now, you need your best friend, and I'm him."
He flashes a genuine Flynn smile and I try to hide the look of shock I'm sure was written on my face. He just admitted he had feelings for me. Andy Flynn has feelings for me. Now of all times he chooses to admit it.
"Thank you." I nod and gently remove my hand from his, watching as his smile slowly fades. Yeah, 'completely platonic non-romantic' my ass.
