A/N: I have limited internet for the time being, so updates will most likely be more delayed than usual. My apologies. Also, this chapter was difficult for me to write due to the emotional complexity of it.

A/N2: To everythingbutsleep: More focus on Rusty this chapter. Sorta. Which is funny because I had most of this chapter written before receiving your comment. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys!

~oOo~

Another day, another emergency. After the past few months I should be used to this, but I'm not.

So much is happening at once. I'm sorting through personnel files trying to find Andy's replacement while the team works tirelessly to catch the machete killer.

"Raydor." I answer quickly when my phone starts ringing. I'm met by silence so I try again, "Hello?"

"Sharon sweetheart, it's me." Andy greets, sounding slightly breathless.

"Andy, what's wrong?" I question anxiously, closing my files and standing to pace across my office, "Andy, what's happening? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's going to be fine." He sighs, "But I'm at the hospital with Rusty." I pick up my purse and open the door when Andy stops me, "I'm here with him. Stay at work, please? They need you, and I'm holding down the fort over here."

"What… What happened?" I question, closing the door and leaning back against it, willing away the tears that were begging to fall, "Andy, I need to be there."

"Sweetheart, please just trust me, okay?" He asks quietly, "You need to keep yourself busy, distract yourself until he's out of surgery. You won't be able to help him if you're even more of a nervous wreck than you have been lately."

"He's… In surgery?" My voice hitches in my throat and I close my eyes, a single tear sliding down my cheek, "At least tell me what happened, please."

"I stopped by the condo this morning to check on him and make him some breakfast." He lets out a deep sigh, "I asked him if he could put the orange juice on the table and he just... He just collapsed Sharon. I panicked and called 911; his breathing was so shallow and I… I thought we were going to lose him Sharon. I was so afraid that boy was going to die in my arms." He admits quietly, "The doc said his brain swelled up and the pressure kept the blood from circulating. They have to drill a hole in his skull to help bring the swelling down."

"Oh my god." I breathe out quietly, covering my mouth with my other hand and pinching my eyes shut as the tears finally begin to fall, "I can't lose him Andy, I can't."

"We aren't going to lose him Sharon, I'm not gonna let that happen, I promise." He cooes.

"I'm coming to the hospital." I manage to say through my tears, "I'll be there in five minutes I'll use the sir-"

"That's not a good idea Sweetheart please, Taylor isn't going to want you to leave and the last thing you need is him to be even more frustrated with you."

"Oh, fuck Taylor!" I exclaim, and I'm surprised by the words that come out of my mouth, "My son needs me more than the team does! I'm coming to the hospital!" I state before storming out of my office and towards the elevators.

~oOo~

"Sharon, he's fine. Everything's going to be fine." Andy assures me, massaging my back as I continue to cry, "Rusty's gonna pull through, I know he will."

"But Andy," I manage to sob out as I hold tightly to him and continue to cry, "what if he doesn't? What if we lose him?" The thought was unbearable.

"I talked to a nurse when I brought him in and she said he should be fine." He continues to massage my back as he places a kiss to the top of my head, "She said this was a routine procedure and that there was nothing to worry about."

"I'm so scared Andy." I admit as my phone rings for the third time and I ignore it again, "I don't want to lose him." God, I sound like a broken record.

"I'm looking for the family of Russell Beck." A nurse comes out and Andy and I quickly walk over to her.

"Uh, we're right here." I respond, reaching down and linking my hand with Andy's, "I'm his mother."

"Your son is out of surgery and it looks like he'll make a full recovery. If he hadn't been brought in when he was, we would've lost him." The nurse explains, diverting her eyes away from Andy and me.

"Why did… Why did his brain swell?" I ask nervously as Andy runs his thumb across my knuckles in an attempt to soothe me.

"Well," she lets out a deep breath and lowers her clipboard to her side, "We've had three patients come in the past week with swelling of the brain, and all of the them were part of the Kiposkamine clinical trial." She admits grimly.

"I want to see my son." I demand as Andy squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"Ma'am, your son is still in critical condition. Hospital policy states that patients in critical condition are to remain undisturbed until they become stable."

"And how long will that be?" I grit my teeth, letting go of Andy's hand to bunch my own into tight fists, "I am his mother."

"I understand that this is a difficult time for you," she empathises, "but it is in your son's best interest that you allow him the time to properly heal."

"If you hadn't offered my son a deadly clinical trial, he wouldn't need to heal." I hiss, and I feel Andy's arm wrap protectively around my waist.

"Sharon, calm down." He whispers, turning me around and directing me towards the sliding glass doors.

"How long?!" I fight my way out of Andy's grasp and storm towards the nurse, "How long until I can see him!?"

"A day, maybe two." She responds as Andy

latches onto me again and drags me from the hospital.

~oOo~

I haven't felt this helpless since the third time Jack left. This whole time, I've been trying to hide how afraid am; I hoped seeing me (seemingly) unfazed by everything would give Rusty motivation as well. But now he was gone and I could cry without worrying he'd hear me.

And that's exactly what I'm doing.

Curled up on my bed, a pillow held tightly against my chest, I finally allow myself to cry. The tears are hot against my face as I gasp for breath, my body heaving uncontrollably. The fact that I'm going to lose him is finally becoming real, and it's terrifying.

I hear the condo door open, but I could care less. Andy finally managed to pick the lock; I guess I'll have to be mad at him for that later. I wanted to be alone. I had run up to the condo and locked myself in before he was hardly out of the car. That should've been evidence enough that I needed time to myself, but he was persistent, and he was doing it because he cared. Maybe I shouldn't be mad at him after all.

"Sharon?" I hear him call quietly as he opens my bedroom door, the dim hallway light filtering through the crack, "Sweetheart?"

"Please, just go away. I need some space right now." I manage to mumble through my tears in a futile attempt to stop them, "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Well, I want to see you this way." He replies, and it dawns on me just how similar this scene is to the one in my office all those nights ago, "Everything is going to be fine Sharon." He coos before inching into bed beside me, "Rusty is supposed to make a full recovery." He whispers and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to him, resting his head on my shoulder, "I know this is scary- hell, I'm scared too-, but we're gonna get through this. As a family."

I spent so long battling my emotions that I hadn't realised it happened: We became a family. Andy was right. And it was no longer my son in the hospital but our son, our son that we hadcaredfor together these past few gruelling months. And it was no longer just my emotions at stake, but ours.

"Andy, he's going to die." I manage to whisper as he pulls me closer to him still, my body heaving with each breath, "The trial was the only hope we had and… And it almost killed him Andy."

"Sharon I know this is scary," he begins, pausing to place a kiss to my jaw, "but we're going to find Rusty a great doctor who knows what the hell they're doing. Then I'll open the restaurant and start a fundraiser and save all the money we make and put it towards Rusty. We're not going down without a fight Sharon, we can't."

"Andy?" I turn in his arms so that I am facing him, discarding my pillow to the side as I go, "Can you do something for me?" I question, hoping to mask the current wave of emotions that was overtaking me, "Andy?"

He looks at me with those chocolate eyes that always melt my heart, his concern for me evident in his features, "Anything Sharon, just tell me what."

Without another word I mesh my lips with his, he hesitates at first but matches my intensity as his fingertips danced across the tender skin above my waist, "Andy." I whisper into the dark as he trails burning kisses down my neck.

"Sweetheart?" He stops his path down my body and locks his eyes with mine, "Are you sure?"

I shake my head and lean forward, pressing our foreheads together as I breathed against his lips, "Andy I'm sure." There was nothing I wanted more in this moment than to feel something other than grief.

"I don't want you to do something you'll regret." He closes his eyes and kisses the top of my nose, his hand coming up to toy with a strand of hair that had been framing my face.

"I don't regret you Andy." I lean in and kiss his lips, not pulling back but leaving my face mere centimetres from his, "I could never regret you, or this." I state before strongly capturing his lips again as his hands began to roam once more. I just needed to get my mind off of this hectic situation for a few hours.

~oOo~

My eyes flutter open and a wave of guilt washes over me. I love Andy, but I used him. Used him to take my mind off of Rusty, and in probably the worst way possible. I try and get out of bed but Andy tightens his grip around my waist, drawing me back to him.

"I'm not doing that again Sharon." He states groggily, "I'm not letting you give into your grief like that again. I won't do it. Look at me, please Sharon. Let me know you're okay." He begs as I continue to work my way out of his grasp.

"I'm fine." I reply, picking up one of the throw blankets and wrapping it around myself before disappearing into the bathroom.

What the hell? What the hell am I thinking? What the hell was I thinking last night? Of course I wanted to sleep with Andy, but not because I was an emotional mess and needed to feel something other than sadness. Dammit.

"Sharon?" I hear Andy softly knock on the bathroom door and I tie the bow on my night robe before opening the door, "I'm sorry," He sighs, his chocolate eyes focusing on me intently as he scratched his chin, "I shouldn't have..." his cheeks flush a bright shade of pink, "taken advantage of you that way."

"Don't apologise." I shake my head, reaching up and running a hand through my unruly hair, "I'm the one that took advantage. I'm the one that took something meaningful and destroyed it, not you."

"What do you mean destroyed it?" Andy narrows his eyes, trying his hardest to sum up our current situation, "Sharon, you haven't destroyed anything. I'll admit," he shrugs, "that's not what I expected our first night together to be like, but your motives for doing it don't change how we feel about each other, you know that, don't you?"

"Let's just not talk about it any more, okay?" I respond, walking past him and back into the bedroom to pick out an outfit, "I want to go see Rusty."

"Sharon," Andy turns and looks at me sadly, "don't push me away, please. I told you I'd be there for you, and nothing is going to change that. Nothing has, and nothing will. If you're going to the hospital I'm going with you." He persists, picking up his t-shirt and jeans before retreating to the bathroom.

~oOo~

They did so much more than drill a hole in Rusty's skull. Sitting with Andy in Rusty's hospital room, clutching his hand so tightly my knuckles were beginning to turn white, I can't help the tears that stream down my cheeks. I could hardly look at him without losing what little bit of composure I had left.

"Shh, Sharon it's okay." Andy coos, pulling me into his arms, holding my head against his chest as I cried, "Rusty is fine. He's going to be fine."

"Mhm." I close my eyes and draw my lips into my mouth as Andy continues to massage my head, "But look at him Andy." I whisper through my tears, "I never accepted that this was going to happen."

"Rusty is going to be fine." He assures me again, but I'm not sure he believes it himself. I open my eyes when I hear a knock on the door, sitting up and rubbing my eyes as the door opened.

"Hello." A man in dark blue scrubs says quietly, closing the door before extending his hand to Andy and then to me, "I'm Doctor Shepherd."

"Hi." I look up at him hopefully as he sits in a chair across from us, "How is he?" I ask, looking over to Rusty as Andy gently squeezes my hand.

"He's doing very well." He assures us, "Your son's a fighter. It took a lot to get him equalised, but we did it. Most patients wouldn't have been able to survive what he's been through, but give him a week and I think he'll be progressing quite nicely." He adds as he runs a hand through his dark brown hair.

"What… What did you have to do to him exactly?" I ask cautiously and Andy squeezes my hand again before letting go and wrapping his arm around my waist, "Why are there bandages all over him?"

"We had to perform what's known as a craniotomy. I don't think you want to hear the details, but essentially we had to cut and remove a piece of his skull so that the brain was able to swell. Then, once the swelling went down we were able to close the wound. We're keeping him sedated right now until his brain is a little stronger. If we wake him up too soon and his brain gets overloaded with sensory information, there could be complications. We have to be very careful with his recovery plan, and the closer to healed his brain is when we start, the easier it'll be for all of you."

"What about the tumor? And the trial? Without the trial… he…" My voice trails off and I wipe my nose before glancing over to Andy sadly.

"Mr and Mrs. Raydor," he extends his hands, neither Andy or myself making any attempt to correct him, "his tumor is very aggressive and is located in the centre of his brain. But," he lets out a deep sigh, "I can attempt a surgery." My breath hitches in my throat and Andy gently squeezes my waist, "Your son is an adult, so we'll have to wait until he wakes up to proceed any further."

"And how long will it be… until you wake him up?" I ask shakily, still trying to process all of the information being thrown at me, "How long until my son is awake again?"

"We'll be weaning him off of the sedative for the next few days, and after that it's up to him." Doctor Shepherd stands and extends his hand once again before heading towards the glass door, "I'll call you if there's any change in your son's condition."

"Thank you." Andy and I both responds in unison as Doctor Shepherd disappears into the busy hallway.