AN: I know, i know. It's been awfully long since I updated. But I've got my writing moxie back and I have this and 2 more chapters already thought out, so good news?. I would also like to thank my 3 reviewers. You made my day(s) I had to bribe one of my friends (Lela) so she would review buuut, it's not cheating ok? Okay. Glad to have that out of the way. Bats it's at the end of the chapter so YAY if you are sorta into that, but I've declared myself Jokersexual. That's it, I'm only attracted to all things joker. But it's like a thing now in 2016 to have a lot of kinds of sexualities so if you are like me, welcome to my club. We could start a tumblr or something.

Disclaimer: do I need to spell it out for you? No I'm not Donald Trump or Bill Gates, I'm broke AF so I can't possibly own anything but the plot. I also know nothing about stock exchange so please let's all pretend I do.

ATTENTION: still no sex, I'm not so sure there will be sex so… if you want smutt just get out and read TheMadPuppy. Honest to god good JxH smutt there. But rating's still M.

CHAPTER 4: I WANT SOME HOT STUFF (no you don't big boy)

There was a high pitched beep at first. "Oh god please let it stop". But as usual god didn't listen to Harley. "Stupid old man"

Then the pain started. On a specific point of her skull. "It hurts like a mothafuckah" in midst of the darkness, she was slowly becoming aware. She lay on the hard wood floor, her whole body numb and tingling and her head on fire. She knew that her body was sore as well, but her head injury prevented her from feeling it. Joker made sure she woke in the floor. Yes joker, not mister J. he was always Joker when he beat the shit out of her.

Harley groaned out loud, and started to open her eyes, expecting a blinding light, but it was pitch black in their bedroom. Joker's favorite place to discipline Harley.

He was there in the darkness, watching her. She knew it, didn't know how but she did. And slowly all her senses came back and the pain fully smashed her. Her head throbbed and her body ache but she didn't make a sound. She was strong and she would embrace the pain for her Puddin'.

He loved pain, feeling pain or inflicting pain, he didn't discriminate. Of course he never caused her pain, unless he was mad. Usually about something she had done. It wasn't his fault, Harley would reason "he is a violent and temperamental man, who sees no wrong in bein' in pain" so Harley never took it bad, she had angered him ad those were the consequences. He had good reasons for being angry at her, most of the time. So instead she came to love his violent moods, as she loved him. Never be said that being The Joker's girl was an easy job.

He had been mad about the diamond pull off. Not the fact that she had done it per se. but because he didn't know she was doing it. After all, no-one could trace that robbery to her and to Puddin' operation in consequence. But he hadn't fully hit her. "He was holdin' back, why did he hold back?" she sat in the floor. Looking at the blackness across from her, holding her head in one hand.

"Harrr-leyy…" he said in a sing-song voice "Harley-girl, daddy was wondering when you would join the land of the living. Tell me Harley, why did I have to punish you?" he always made sure to ask her, she never had answered wrong but was scared to thing what would happen if she did.

"Cuz' I improvised, I didn't letcha know I was doin' a heist withoutcha Sir" he wasn't her Mistah J yet, but he wasn't The Joker fully, either. His voice echoed in the bedroom and made it hard to know where he was.

"Yes pooh, and I'm sure u learned your lesson. But Harley" his voice had changed and was all merry again "that was great gag baby!" he stepped out of the shadows and knelt over next to Harley "dressing as Bats and his Child-kick? HAHAHA, Hysterical Harls!" he laughed and picked her up. She relished in his loving embrace, she was glad he had forgiven her, and he praised her too! She was sore but happy and her head all forgotten as he put her on the bed carefully.

"I'm glad you had fun Daddy, I promise never ta do it ever again" and she was glad, it had slipped her mind all about the whole moving thing. So she was taken by surprise when he said "and just what I needed after so much work, but I found the perfect location for our FunHouse pooh!" cuddling next to her and caressing her hair. So he was serious 'bout that. She felt it was something big, and was equal parts scared and exited.

"It's an old bakery factory by the admiral docks, HAPPER ST" but that was by sandy hook! They lived in the downtown area, not exactly far from the hook but still. It was very far from Red's and all the rogues "you need to see it baby its purr-fect" she was dreading the move in already. Mistah J was difficult on a normal day, oh Harley, imagine the movin'!

"It's uh, great Pud. I'm sure it's perfect, just as you said" she tried, she really did, but he spotted her unenthusiasm right away.

"Rea-ly baby? Cause you sound a li-ttle doubtful there, sugar-pie" she needed to be careful or this could turn sour pretty quick.

"N…no not at all Mistah J, I was just a little bit worried 'bout the whole movin' stuff around. That's it" she saw his face change from calm anger to exasperation and she relaxed, she was save with exasperation.

"Don't cha worry that pretty little blonde head of yours baby girl. Daddy has everything planed; you just sit back and watch the show"

With her Mistah J so busy Harley was bored. She wouldn't call red, because she would see the bruises and she didn't need that right now. She wouldn't go out for the same reason. And there was so much she could help Puddin' with, she had packed and cleaned almost every room in the hide-out, and now she was bored. So she went to the Hench's part of the building, there were new recruits because of a big job Pud was doing soon, she didn't know much, just that it involved a lot of money, and that it was pretty technological and they needed more hackers.

All the henchman were in the training room. A big Gym-like room that was soundproof and had a lot of sparing mats, weighs, weapons and targets and upstairs was the tech lab, she was headed there, and had to cross the gym, to the stairs and up. The tech lab had a stained glass wall that overlook the gym on one side, on the other side was a huge mural she had done for puddin' he was atop of the world in a pile of batmen like a Michel Angelo's David in his purple suit. She opened the door with a bang and every man in the room stopped and stared at her. She paid them no mind as she walked to the stairs. Midway however one of the rookies made a fatal mistake. A mistake that if he had a brain, he wouldn't had made.

"Heey hot stuff, nice ass" oh no he did NOT say that. She turned to the offending piece of trash currently standing in HER home. And as if sensing the danger like primal animals the other recruits parted, leaving the victim to stand in the middle of the mat. He was a 6.8 ft. tall brute of a man, huge but she could take him. All mater and no brain, and covered in bad tattoos, his head fully shaved. He was wearing a cargo and a tank top shirt 2 sizes too small that stretched over his muscles. She could take him down any day.

"Excuse me? Don'tcha know who I am steroid-man?" not that it made it okay if he didn't, but she was bidding her time, so she could discreetly grab a weapon. She was agile but she needed a toy if she wanted to make sure he stopped playing. She went for a hammer; her Daddy said she was always good with a hammer.

"no lollypop, but we can remedy that quick" he was getting close to her, so she cartwheeled away from him ant to the death panel (where the weapons were) and gracefully grabed said hammer. Fuck discretion.

"I think… NOT" she gave him a little attitude "Da fact that you don't know me proves one thin' bug, you're not fit ta work for Mistah J. And also, that you're gonna get hammer'd" she did a pirouette and landed at the thug's back.

"wh-what do you think you're doing?" got he was thick. And maybe a little pissed off. Good for me "listen kid, I don't know if you know who I am. But I don't fight ladies, so put your little thing on the ground before you get hurt" no one had noticed that joker had arrived, this would normally pissed him off, but he saw Harley with a hammer. And lord did he love his girl all blood thirsty and homicidal, so he remained in animosity and watched the show.

"Good. Cuz I'm not a lady!" and with that she smashed the hammer behind the man's knees making him effectively go to the ground with one movement. He screamed as he was surprised by the blow and the pain. "You are goin' ta learn how ta treat a woman, ya hear me! Even if is the last thin' ya do. And… It will be… oh well, good things in live don't last long'" and she sent a blow to his chest which leaved him breathless.

"now, if a moll has a good ass, and ya think so YOU" blow "DON'T" blow "SCREAM" blow "DISCUSTIN'" blow "CAT-CALLS" blow "to her… ya see it's so rude. Oh he's already unconscious? Buh-mer! I'm gonna miss all the fun!" she looked up and with a bloodied hand took some strands that felt from her pig tails out of her face, all the henchmen and the recruits were watching her with mixed expressions: from scared, and disbelieve, to grossed out, downright panic, to disbelieve. She smiled and waved at Rocco and Smiley who had a poker face and a small smirk respectively when slowly a clap was heard, followed by another and soon it was a full on clapping. From one person. Harley (and everyone) looked and the rail on top of the mural and there he was, truly frightening dressed in purple, burgundy, black and lots of gold, The Joker in his work gear. Harley's hart stopped for a few seconds as he climbed down the metallic stairs sill clapping at her! And followed by some huge men all in black with work boots and black cargos and well, Harley had never seen them before.

"What a show! What a performance! Baby doll you look ravishing this fine evening all covered in blood" and she did, he had the hard-on to prove it, thankfully he was wearing a long purple over-coat. "But would you mind telling me how it started. I'm afraid I was late" he loved how everyone parted as he walked to the now bloody mess of a recruit and his gorgeous girlfriend. He must have looked pretty scary he assumed.

"He was bein' nasty Boss-man! And was hittin' on me" she was to merciful beating him like that so the man wouldn't suffer more at his hands. A true charitative soul she had "so had ta teach'im some manners Mistah J" she smiled, and he had to control his urges of fucking her until she bled herself.

"I see Harley girl" he appeased her, so she knew she had done good, and turned to all the men in the room "Well fellas, let this be the only warning, Harley here it's MY property, no looking, no thinking and most definitely, no TOUCHING. And if she doesn't kill you, you will wish she had once I'm thru with you. Rocco! Have the rookies clean this mess" he turned to Harley " as much as I love you covered in blood, I love you more covered in brain matter" and she, always ready to please, smashed the offending piece of man's head with her sledge hammer. He wasn't sure but maybe some of the man threw up, he was way too concentrated in picking Harley up and getting to the bedroom, of the couch in their quarters. Laughing like the maniac he was.

Bruce sat in front of the bat-computer concentrated in the surveillance videos he had, playing programs after programs in search of something, anything that lightly hinted at him, but so far nothing. This was the 3rd night in a row he had delegated patrols on Robin and Nigthwing, hoping that he could find some clues. After all Gotham City had been calm enough of super-villain activity.

"Master Bruce, if you don't mind me intruding in your night time business, Sir. But you have been looking hard for a trail of that monster, and so far have come with nothing. Would you consider that perhaps they are laying low for a while?" Alfred interrupted him.

"No Alfred, I know he's out there, and he is planning something, something big. Call it intuition, but I know the Joker pretty good by now. He isn't quiet unless he's scheming something. I have got to find him. God knows how many people might lose their lives if I don't stop him in time" but Bruce couldn't find anything, Alfred was right in that. He seemed to have dropped off the face of earth. He hadn't been spotted in the narrows since Batman had dragged him to Arkaham last time. Bruce had no idea where he might be. He left the last program running and got his bat-suit on. If he couldn't find him on the screens he would on the streets. He just hoped he did it on time.

AN: That's it! Well this is the longest chapter I've written so far. As an apology. I hope you like it and if you don't, here's a tip: the review button likes to be my messenger. Sooooo please leave a review lovelies and maybe next update will come sooner *wink* *wink*

Yours truly,

MadFoy.