I sat on a stone bench with my back to the museum, my dark blue hood pulled up over my head, covering my hair that was pulled back in a braid. I had a pair of aviators on, covering my face so I wouldn't be recognizable.

Bucky's only suggestion was that we stop by the Smithsonian before we left. We still weren't sure where we were going, but he was sure that he could find some kind of answer here.

Our faces were covering the news. I had officially been reported as a missing person, and some news stations were speculating that the Winter Soldier had possibly kidnapped me, but Steve was quick to deny those. There had also been some assumption that I had drowned after jumping from the helicopter, but since a body was never recovered, they kept the missing persons report.

When the file release became public, people learned more about me than I knew about myself, but there were still answers that were missing. I was gathering everything I could find to figure out where I needed to go.

But, I still had ends I needed to tie up. So, here I am. Sitting on a bench in front of the Smithsonian, writing out a letter to send to Tony before we leave. It was hard to think of what I could say to him.

He had released his own public statement just a few hours ago, and he had looked a wreck. I knew it was probably tearing him apart, all the things I had done while I was in Special Forces. The files they had released were extremely graphic. They even had videos of some of my training.

I flipped open the notebook in my lap, grabbing the pen beside me.

Tee,

I know I should have contacted you sooner, and I'm sorry. In the last few days, everything has changed for me. Everything I thought I knew about the seven years I spent in the Special Forces was a complete lie. And you probably know that now. I was used as a weapon for HYDRA. A lot like the Winter Soldier was, only worse.

What the files haven't told you, though, is about that last mission I went on.

When I woke up, you told me how the Ten Rings had kidnapped me after I tried to rescue a church full of kidnapped children in Sokovia. The only part of that story that's true, is that I was at a church in Sokovia.

My commander sent me to that church, while Onyx was activated, to find the Winter Soldier. I was told that if I couldn't get to him first, I had to kill the remainder of my team, and be captured by HYDRA. That way, they could destroy the base and find him themselves.

I killed my team for my mission. I'm not sure if they found him. I was unconscious before I left the base. I still don't know much about Onyx myself.

The last time we spoke, I was kidnapped by Brock Rumlow. They took me to my commander and Alexander Pierce. By that time, I thought had already remembered most of my missions as Onyx. What I didn't know is that there were so many more.

My commander activated a part of Onyx that I didn't even know existed. I only know it now because Steve broke down the wall blocking it out when the Helicarriers launched. I still don't know if there's more of Onyx hiding somewhere in my brain.

Now, everyone knows that Onyx exists. Some people know even more than I do. I need to get away for a while, and figure out what I can before someone finds another part of Onyx that I didn't know existed. I need to deactivate Onyx for good.

I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person, Tony. We both know you'd never let me leave the house again once you found out about everything. What I can do, is promise that I will be back. All I need is time.

Please don't try to come after me. This is something I need to find myself. And I promise I'm not alone. Tell Pepper if she doesn't take good care of you, I'll make her job hell when I get back.

I love you, Tony. You're my best friend, and you're the best big brother I could ask for, even if you are a little full of yourself. I'll be back before you know it, I promise.

Love always,

Phoebe


Again , I will probably be taking a small break and completing more of the second story before I post it. I'm sorry that I was sooo inconsistent with my uploads! Thank you so much, to everyone, for putting up with me, and I PROMISE I will be back before you know it with the second story! I love all of you!