It's late when Hinata stumbled into his dorm room and was ultimately greeted in darkness. He hoped that Kageyama would still be awake, so he could just crumble under his facade and tell him everything that happened, but Hinata knew he wouldn't be able to. The events that happened made Hinata shut down, to the point where he had it in his mind that if he were to tell anyone about it, that all they would do is laugh at him. Hinata was terrified, simple as that. Terrified of the fact that the person is going to their school, is around campus, goes to the same parties Hinata always goes to (the same few people host it every time).
Hinata didn't know if he could handle going to class anymore now.
He must have been making a lot of noise, Hinata figured, when movement was heard from Kageyama's side of the room and a lamp flickered on. Hinata winced and shielded his eyes, still more or less drugged. He collapsed on Kageyama's bed, the latter raising an eyebrow in question, mouth opening to ask something but promptly shut it. Hinata let go of his fears for just this brief second and wound his arms around Kageyama's waist, burying his face into the other's neck, and started crying. Ugly sobs were heard and snot dribbled from Hinata's nose, but Kageyama only hugged him back in return, silently sushing him, rocking him, not saying a word.
It felt like hours that he cried, but eventually the tears subsided and Hinata gained control over his breathing again. Kageyama stayed quiet through all of that, not wanting to upset Hinata more, because even if he didn't know exactly what happened, he still knew Hinata. Kageyama shifted under Hinata, and a hand crept into soft red locks, carding through it slowly.
"You all right?" Kageyama asked, glancing down at the smaller male, noticing how he snuggled even more closer than before.
"Mhm…"
"Did you want to talk about it?" Hinata shook his head. "Okay, well I'm here if you ever want to speak. . . Dumbass."
Hinata fought back a grin that formed on his lips but lost. He nodded once, trailing patterns across Kageyama's back. "Thank you," he whispered hoarsely.
Going back to class the next day was unsurprisingly difficult, considering what happened. Hinata feared everything that went on around him. He flinched every time someone brushed against him, or tried to talk to him, or even when his professors called on him. Hinata didn't like feeling this way; he knew he was brought up to be happy even in the most dire of situations, to always smile and be polite. But it felt like his smile got ripped away from him, his happiness shredded. It wasn't until someone, a friend, noticed Hinata's change in behavior and confronted him about it in the hallway after class ended for the day.
It ended with Hinata shrieking at his friend to leave him alone and bolting to the nearest bathroom. By the time he slammed the door open and shut it, he was shaking from head to toe. He slid to the floor, eyes shut tightly.
"Why, why, why, why, why…" He continuously repeated, rubbing his eyes to try and stop the tears that threatened to spill. Why couldn't he just tell someone what happened, why was he so afraid? The guy probably didn't even know him, after all, it was pitch black in the room! Hinata didn't even know what the guy looked like! But even so, the guy must have known his whereabouts to even follow after him, if that's what happened. So it had been premeditated. It had to have been.
Hinata choked out a sob.
The days following after the party led Hinata into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. He didn't feel safe alone at any point during the day, and made sure to show Kageyama exactly that. Wherever Kageyama went, even if it was to the bathroom or to get food or to just step outside, Hinata followed. It got to the point where Kageyama stopped him in the middle of a thursday, pulling him along until they were hiding behind a vending machine.
"Hinata, what is up with you? You've been following me around almost every single hour, of every single day, acting all timid and skittering about," Kageyama frowned, crossing his arms. "Tell me what's wrong."
A choked whine flew from Hinata's mouth and he shook his head. "I- I can't!"
"Why can't you?" Kageyama sighed heavily, pressing a hand to the wall to support him as he leaned all his weight onto his right foot.
"I can't, Kageyama, I can't I can't I can't-"
"Okay, okay, I'm… I'm sorry, forget it." Kageyama's eyes widened in horror at the way Hinata reacted toward his persistent questions. But Hinata was still shaking his head and grabbing at his hair, sinking down to his knees.
"You don't understand, Kageyama, you just don't, how can anyone understand what-" Hinata cut off shortly, shoulders trembling. ". . .I want to tell someone, god, do I want to. But I just can't. It's so hard for me to even think about it and every time I do, I just feel sick to my stomach and want to scratch my skin off until there's nothing left…"
As Hinata continued on, rambling on about how Kageyama wouldn't understand without exactly saying what the problem was, it was then that something snapped inside Kageyama and it's also what effortlessly made him stop breathing for a few seconds. Hinata didn't have to explain thoroughly for him to know what the problem was, and Kageyama could punch himself in the face for not realizing it sooner (no one could guess what had happened right off the bat, unless they themselves went through the same experience).
Kageyama dropped to his knees before Hinata and pulled him into a tight hug, Hinata protesting and trying to shove him away. Kageyama wouldn't let him. He buried his face in red tufts of hair until suffocating in it seemed like a valid option. Hinata slumped against Kageyama and his breathing calmed just a tad, his fingers gripping onto Kageyama's shirt like a lifeline.
"You didn't even tell me what exactly happened, but I still have a faint idea. Hinata, fuck, why didn't you say anything sooner?" Kageyama looked down at Hinata, effectively making the other pull back too. It only caused Hinata's face to scrunch up and his eyes to start watering for what felt like the umpteenth time that day.
"I-I was afraid, bakageyama! I was afraid that… That-" Hinata cried out and threw himself at Kageyama, face going to burrow into Kageyama's shirt, soaking it with tears. "I couldn't tell anyone, no one would understand, no one would…"
"Shit, sorry, sorry," Kageyama cursed mostly at himself, for being stupid and airheaded to not think before he spoke. "I'm sorry. But I'm here now, Hinata, you know this. I won't let anyone, anyone, touch you again. Or I swear I'll kill them." He rubbed Hinata's back, slow, small circles, and sat with him there until the breeze became cooler and the sun started to set behind the clouds.
