Natasha could hear them whenever they talked, she could feel them around her, their love and worry. But they seemed to not talk at all. She found herself thinking back on moments with each member of the team.

Thor

She was laying on the roof of Stark tower, looking out at the mess that was manhattan. The battle between them and Loki had happened nearly a month ago and large parts of the city were still being fixed, the destruction had been worse than they thought.

"Do you not require rest Lady Natasha?"

"no."

"I have been back on earth for nearly a week and I have yet to see you rest."

"not tired."

"where is agent Barton?"

"He's working in Paris, I think theyre just trying to make sure Loki was flushed out of his system."

"Is he the reason you can't sleep?"

"No, I'm just not tired."

There was some silence and Natasha figured Thor would leave until she heard heavy footsteps stop next to her and a large body sit in a spot only two or three inches away. The exhaustion was apparent on her face, she was getting thinner, the areas under her eyes were dark.

"I never thanked you, for saving me from the hulk. I owe you."

"There is no need for thanks. You are my partner Lady Natasha, I will always be here for you."

Natasha smiled and closed her eyes but she jerked them open not a minute later.

"You should sleep, you look exhausted."

"I don't like sleeping, it makes me vulnerable. That's why I always carry this around."

She nodded towards the gun resting next to her.

"You can sleep, I'm here. I'll stay I awake, you'll be safe."

She looked at him, confused. Natasha didn't trust very easily but it didn't take long for the exhaustion to take over. She curled up into Thor's side and was asleep in minutes, until the sun rose. When she awoke, she smiled at him, looking rested and joined him for coffee.

Bruce

Natasha walked into his office after a deadly mission, the lesion on her forehead still bleeding. She had changed in sweatpants that clearly didn't belong to her and a short sleeved shirt that showed the bruises on her arm.

"Do you mind if I read in here? Tony has taken control of most of the other floors, its too loud."

"Of course, can I please patch up your head before you get cozy."

Natasha simply nodded and allowed Bruce to stitch up her head before sitting on the couch and losing herself in the book. Bruce took notice to the fact that she was reading War and Peace, the actual Russian version. This is when Clint would usually bug her about her Russian showing and she would simply smile and playfully glare at him. Bruce absentmindedly began to hum several hours later, the sun was long gone but they were still in his lab, mostly in silence. Once he caught himself humming a lullabye he looked over to Natasha to see her fast asleep with a small smile on her face. He continued to work until Jarvis alerted him that dinner was ready. Bruce contemplated waking Natasha but decided against it, when he arrived back in his lab carrying both their dinners Natasha was awake and back to reading her book. He set her dinner on the table next to the couch and procceeded to eat in silence.

"I'm not afraid of you."

Bruce looked up, started.

"what?"

"I'm not afraid of you, or of the Hulk. You're not a bad person Bruce and I'm not afraid of you. Even after the incident in the aircraft."

"I nearly killed you Natasha."

"But you didn't. You didn't chose this life Bruce, you don't kill to kill, not if you don't have to. I've been killing for my entire life."

"You didn't chose it either Natasha."

"I had a chance to walk away, but I just kept killing. I have blood on my hands and I have to live with the guilt every day. Its not a good way to live, so just know that I don't blame you Bruce. Youre a good man."

There was silence between the two until Bruce spoke again.

"Thank you Natasha."

She nodded and grabbed her book, she squeezed Bruce's shoulder on the way out and smiled at him. She came back the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Everyday Bruce would allow her to relax in silence and never once tried to make her talk more than she wanted to, Natasha felt at home.

Tony

"Hey little spider, like your new web?"

Natasha put her bag on the floor of her new room in Avengers tower and turned to look at Tony.

"Its nice."

"you even get the nicest view just cause I love my little natashlie."

Natasha chuckled and took a seat on the bed, it was soft. The mattress dipped as Tony sat next to her.

"How are you doing Tasha?"

"fine."

"Natalie…I mean Natasha"

Natasha chuckled and allowed him to place his arm around her.

"I heard you on the hellicarrier. You were having a nightmare, and it wasn't just some little thing."

"You have nightmares too…I heard you while I was your assistant."

"The nightmares aren't what I remember the most from when you were my assistant."

He waggled his eyebrows and she shoved him.

"You know I love you Nat, even if you were a spy. I'm willing to ignore that, I knew there was something between us. I just didn't know it wasnt sexual."

Natasha turned to look at him, her giggled eventually turned to choked sobs. Tony pulled her into his embrace and hugged her tight.

"He was going to kill me. Clint was going to kill me."

Tony held her and allowed her to cry into his chest. She pulled away and rubbed her eyes.

"This never happened Tony. Alright? I'm too badass to cry and youre too cool to be here comforting me."

"Got it little Red. Just know if you ever need me to not be so cool, im here. And if you ever want to reprise the role of horny assistant I'm here for that too."

Natasha laughed and allowed Tony to pull her up and towards the kitchen where Steve and Clint were devouring everything in sight.

Clint

Natasha walked out of her S.H.I.E.L.D appointed room and towards the gym, running into Clint on the way there.

"Barton."

"Hey Romanoff, you wanna do something?

She quirked her eyebrow at him and urged him to continue.

"The fair has hit New York, do you wanna join me."

"the fair?"

"yeah, you know fried food, rides, shit load of fun?"

Natasha smirked and nodded.

"You ever been to one?"

She shook her head no and his jaw dropped.

"well then what are you waiting for Romanoff. Go get dressed comfortably and meet me outside, we're docked right by it so it shouldn't be more than a 20 minute drive."

She nodded and got changed, He relationship with Clint was odd, they had been working together for nearly five years and it was still strained. There was something about him that made her want to feel. Clint was feeling the same way. He had known right away, as soon as he saw her that he could never harm her. He had fallen in love. He had been trying but Natasha was cold and seemingly impossible to get close to. Whenever he thought she was getting comfortable she would just close up again and leave. But he was determined. She was already leaning on the car by the time he got there. Her bright red hair contrasted the darkness of her outfit beautifully, her pale skin looked smooth and soft, he would do anything to hold her.

"You look beautiful Natasha."

"Thank you Barton."

"You can call me Clint you know."

She nodded and got in the car. They drove in silence, that was an often occurrence with Natasha around. She was not one for small talk, or any kind of talk for that matter. Most people would have given up on Natasha after a few days yet 6 years later Clint was still trying to win her over. He pulled into the makeshift parking lot of the fair and urged Natasha to follow him. As soon as they walked in he got her a cotton candy and he watched as her lips twisted into a smile. He took her on every single ride and gave her every prize he won. On the ferris wheel Natasha watched the stars when they reached the top.

"Thank you Clint, this is incredible."

When he didn't answer she turned to look at him and he captured her lips with his. It didn't take long for her to kiss back.

"Yeah, this is incredible Natasha."

Steve

"Seriously Steve?"

"I think you look adorable."

Natasha was currently decked out in Dodgers gear, Steve was taking her to her first baseball game. Tony was tagging along so it was definetly going to be an experience. Steve placed a baseball cap on her head and dragged her out the door of their bedroom. Tony was tossing baseballs at Clint in the living room, each one missing miserably since Clint was great at dodging things.

"Are you ready Stark?"

"I'm always ready for a good time."

Tony winked at Natasha and walked out the door. Natasha rolled her eyes and followed Tony and Steve. You could practically feel Steve's excitement. Simply seeing the happiness on his face made Natasha smile bigger than she thought was possible. He held the door open for her, held her hand as they walked to the car Tony had ordered, opened the door for her. In all honestly she had the perfect man.

"Steve, your shaking the car. Calm down."

"I'm just excited. I haven't been to a ball game in…decades."

Natasha smiled and grabbed his hand, he instantly relaxed. Tony was picking the music, causing the car to begin shaking again.

"little loud isn't it Stark?"

"What? Turn it up? You got it little Red."

Natasha rolled her eyes and leaned into Steve who was still bouncing with excitement. Luckily it took less than an hour to arrive. Steve helped Natasha out and led Natasha into the stadium. Tony had gotten tickets right in front, Steve was sure to show his gratitude.

"I've never been this close, this is incredible."

Natasha could see Tony trying to suppress his smile. The game began and Steve was up cheering the entire time. Natasha was too busy watching Steve to actually pay any attention to the game. The way his dimples showed when he smiled, or how his nose scrunched up whenever the other team got a homerun. His laughter, and mainly the way his hand found hers and they enveloped her in warmth.

"Oh Oh Oh OH!"

A ball zoomed right at them and he caught it, she had never seen him so extatic. Natasha and Tony laughed and she could had sworn she saw tony wink at one of the players and the player tipped his hat at Tony. Steve hugged Natasha tightly and kissed the top of her head. He held on tightly to the ball in one hand and wrapped his other arm tight around Natasha. As she looked up at him she realized that's she would be perfectly happy spending the rest of her life with him, in fact she was already looking forward to it. She was drawn out of her thoughts by the crowd cheering for homerun, Steve got up and cheered as well, but he didn't let go of her.

Alexei's face flashed in her mind for mere seconds, the good memories she had with him and the love that she had thought they had for each other was replaced by bad memories. Believing he had dies and meeting him once again as he tried to kill her. His face was replaced by that of a man that Natasha's mind had repressed. All memories of him that she had blocked out completely were flooding back. Natasha had forced herself to believe that this man never existed. His playful smile, soft dark hair, his wild behavior, the love he had for her. It was all real, and if he was still out there she knew if would still be there. Just like her love for Clint and Steve, that kind of love didn't die. Memories continued to flash through her head from the moment she met him, to the nights when they loved each other, to the day when they were torn apart.

IN THE HOSPITAL W/ THE AVENGERS

Natasha's brain activity was going crazy, Bruce and Tony were trying to figure out what was going on. It had been nearly 3 weeks since Natasha had arrived at the hospital and nothing like this had happened. They all stepped forward, Clint and Steve staying the closest. Natasha's fingers began to move, it wasn't a very big movement but everyone in the room noticed. In the next few moments Natasha's eyes flew wide open and she sat up fast, the words were rushing out of her mouth in a panicked way.

"James! Where is James? Where is Bucky!"

They all slowly realized and processed what she had said but Steve was floored. How did Natasha know Bucky. Why hadn't she said anything before. When he looked at her he noticed that she had ripped all the tubes out and was breathing hard, pain was evident across her face. He was shocked, he couldn't move. He didn't miss the glare that Clint sent his way before he stepped up to the plate and wrapped his arms around Natasha trying to get her to calm down. The rest of the avengers moved Closer but Steve backed away. The look of confusion that was clouding Natasha's eyes and the fact that she was awake should be the only thing that he was worried about but all he could think about was the fact that she had uttered his best friends name. His dead best friends name. It should be him in Clint's spot holding Natasha close and calming her down but he couldn't move, couldn't breathe.