Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.
As previously mentioned, this story references events from 'In A Rut', so if you haven't read it, you might be a little lost. Either way, I hope you enjoy.
"B, you look exhausted," Serena observed when she arrived at her best friend's first thing in the morning. Blair had called her an hour earlier asking if she could take Charlotte to her riding lesson. Always the enthusiastic aunt, she jumped at the chance even when Blair asked if she could take the boys with her.
"I am exhausted," Blair nodded.
"Is sleeping without Chuck that difficult?" Serena inquired.
"These bags have nothing to do with Chuck," Blair insisted, "Well, not directly anyways."
"And not that I'm not happy to pitch in, but I thought you were taking Chuck's duties this week," Serena replied.
"I have an appointment this morning," Blair stated, "It came up suddenly and it can't be rescheduled."
"Okay," Serena replied, "Where are the three angels?"
"Having breakfast," Blair motioned Serena towards the dining room.
"Aunt Serena!" all three chimed in unison as they hopped off their chairs and went to greet her.
"Oh my goodness, Aiden, what happened to your eye?" Serena knelt next to him and kissed his boo-boo.
"Baseball hit my eye yesterday," Aiden replied.
"Ouch," Serena stuck out her lip to pout before she kissed his forehead, "That must have hurt."
"Yep," Aiden nodded, "I get better though. Mommy did."
"Mommy did," Serena repeated in confusion, "When did Mommy have a black ey… oh, yes, you will get all better just like Mommy did."
Serena looked towards her best friend. The bags under her eyes suddenly made sense. She quickly looked for a way to change the subject.
"Charlee, I'm taking you to your riding lesson," Serena announced, "That is if it is okay with you?"
"Is Humphrey coming?" Charlotte asked.
"Nope, it's going to be you and me and Aiden and Brice," Serena listed.
"Okay," Charlotte replied.
"Everyone finish their breakfast," Blair chimed in as she looked to her watch, "It's almost time to go."
"You had a nightmare last night about what happened all those years ago when you were an intern, didn't you?" Serena asked her best friend once the children had disappeared to get their shoes.
"Yes," Blair's eyes began to tear.
"I didn't even know you thought about it anymore. It's been almost ten years," Serena pointed out.
"I still have nightmares every so often," Blair admitted, "But usually Chuck is home to help me through them."
"So what are you going to do?" Serena inquired.
"What I always do after I have one of these nightmares," Blair explained, "Go see my therapist."
"That's the appointment you have this morning," Serena concluded.
Blair nodded as the trio of children dashed eagerly into the room. Blair quickly dried her eyes and put on a brave face for her children.
"If you need to talk," Serena whispered in her ear as she hugged her best friend before she was sent on her way.
"I'll call," Blair bent over to kiss each of her children goodbye, while adding a warning to them all to behave for Serena.
"Hello, Blair," her therapist greeted her with a familiar smile.
"Hi, Lori," Blair returned the smile as she was ushered into her therapist's office and looked around. "You've redecorated. I like it."
"Thank you," Lori smiled, "It's clearly been awhile since your last session if you're only now noticing. It's been well over a year since I did all this."
"No offense, but it's not been long enough," Blair sighed as she took a seat.
"How are you, Blair?" Lori inquired as she took a seat opposite Blair, "How are those three angels of yours?"
"Growing far too fast for my liking," Blair smiled happily as she produced a recent picture taken of them, "There are days I just want to stop them from growing all together, but that's not going to ever happen so Chuck and I savor every day."
"And how is that handsome husband of yours?" Lori asked.
"As wonderful as ever," Blair sighed happily. She always liked these first few moments with her therapist. It was like catching up with an old friend she hadn't seen in awhile, not a therapist charging by the hour, "But unfortunately out of town on a business trip at the most inopportune moment."
"Shall we start with why you're here today?" Lori inquired.
"Might as well," Blair shrugged as Lori reached for her notepad so she could take notes if necessary. "I had a nightmare last night. I don't need to go into details of the nightmare as it's the same one I always seem to have."
"And the trigger?" Lori prodded, "Do you know what caused it?"
Blair nodded. "Aiden had a little accident yesterday. He got hit in the face with a baseball and ended up with a black eye. To make him feel better, I told him about when I had two black eyes. I only said it to assure him that he would get better, but it brought up all these old feelings. And since Chuck is out of town my dream chaser wasn't available to fight the demons away."
"Last time you were here was when your attacker came up for parole," Lori noted, "I'm going to assume that the parole was denied."
"God, yes," Blair sighed in relief, "Whether it was by Chuck's greasing a few palms or not, that bastard is still safely behind bars where he belongs. I can't believe he was ever even given the option of parole after all the women that he's hurt over the years."
"I can't believe it myself," Lori sighed. Yes, Blair's attacker was still behind bars, but not all her patients were as lucky. Many were forced to face the fact that their attacker was back in the real world. It was part of her job that was hard to stomach.
"I wish these dreams would just go away," Blair sighed, "I hate that they still can interrupt what is otherwise a perfect life. I have an amazing husband. I have three beautiful, healthy children. My relationships with my parents are better than they've ever been. I get to work on my own terms, doing something that gives me such a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Why can't all that be enough to chase these dreams away for good?"
"Do you remember when you first started coming to me?" Lori inquired, "You were scared of your own shadow. You couldn't allow Chuck to touch you. You were seeing bruises that were not there, and you thought your life would never get back on track."
"What's your point?" Blair asked curiously.
"Look how far you've come," Lori replied with her most encouraging voice, "You're Blair Bass, half of the most powerful, most influential duo in all of New York City. Your life is held up as the fairy tale that so many others aspire to. You have a nightmare every few years about what was a horrendous moment in your life. That's not just progress, that's setting the bar so high that I'm not sure anyone could ever surpass you."
"That's because I had Chuck," Blair twisted her wedding and engagement rings around her finger with a smile, "There were times I was ready to give up, but he was right there to fight me on it. I guess I do have the fairytale life. A few nightmares suddenly don't seem all that bad. It could have been a lot worst, right?"
"Sadly, yes," Lori nodded.
"Chuck and I really should have…should do more for victims of violence like what I went through," Blair stated.
"You wanted to separate yourself from the traumatic moment," Lori replied, "I can't fault you for that, nor do I expect you to hand over an enormous check."
"But like you said, Chuck and I have all this influence. We could do something good with it," Blair pointed out.
"All I want is for you to focus on your mental health," Lori stated, "Just the mention of your attack can still trigger crippling nightmares. I don't want you doing more than you are able."
"But I can do more, much more," Blair insisted, "And that's exactly what I'm going to do."
"Whatever you do decide to do, promise me that your mental health will always be your first priority," Lori requested.
"I can do that," Blair nodded.
"You have bags under your eyes, Beautiful," Chuck pointed out as soon as they connected for their nightly chat.
"Rough night last night," Blair sighed, "And I have another addition to our bed tonight."
"Brice," Chuck guessed.
Blair nodded, "And I think Auntie Serena is behind it. She spent the day with them."
"How about we backup and start with why you had a rough night last night?" Chuck requested.
"It started innocently," Blair sighed, "Aiden woke up as I was going through my nightly routine before bedtime…minus my favorite workout. He was pouting about how his eye was swollen shut. I wanted to assure him that his eye would be as good as new soon."
Chuck winced as he recognized where this was heading.
"So I told him that I once had two swollen eyes and pointed out that I healed up nicely," Blair added.
"I wished you'd used me as a reference point," Chuck sighed, "Then you wouldn't have had to bring up those memories."
"I should have," Blair nodded in agreement, "I went to see Lori today."
"And how did it go?" Chuck prodded her.
"It was good to see her," Blair smiled, "It's good to have that reminder of how far I've come."
"We've both come a long way since those frightful months that followed," Chuck agreed.
"Chuck," she sung out sweetly as she batted her eyelashes.
"I know that tone. I know those lashes," Chuck braced himself for her request, "This is going to be expensive."
"I want to set up a center where victims of the same type of abuse I went through can go and receive the best possible care even if they aren't fortunate enough to have the bank account that I had access to," she explained, "It's something that we should have done years ago."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Chuck pressed, "Our children don't even know the details of what happened, and we've agreed to wait until they are much older before we tell them. If we put our name out there on something like this, there are going to be questions that I don't think either of us are ready to answer."
"I want to do this anonymously," she elaborated, "We build it. We start it. We turn it over to someone that we can trust to continue on with our vision, and hundreds of men and women will get the benefit."
"There are benefits to staying anonymous," Chuck nodded.
"I'm not looking for you to write a check right this minute," Blair assured him, "But I wanted to talk about this with you when it's still fresh in my mind."
"Then we'll talk more when I come home on Friday," Chuck assured her.
"Good," she smiled, "We're in the home stretch. Friday is nearly here."
"It can't come soon enough," Chuck sighed with relief, "And I've made my feelings well known that we will not be having another one of these extended executive retreats without a much firmer business agenda. Our shareholders would be appalled by the excessed these people are going through. I'm appalled. There are going to be some serious changes when I get back to New York."
"Are you talking back the reigns?" Blair inquired, her voice quivering in nervousness.
"No," Chuck replied, "We still have a little boy that deserves the same attention that his brother and sister received, but there is going to be more accountability. Department budgets are going to be tightened. Executive bonuses will be scaled back…"
"You're so sexy when you get all bossy," Blair interrupted him, "Your nostrils are flaring. There is steam coming out your ears. You're like a bull stomping at the dirt ready to charge."
"Get your red cape ready," he challenged her, "Because I intend to charge full speed ahead into you when I get my hands on you."
"Promise?" she baited him.
"You are too good at defusing my bad moods," Chuck shook his head in disbelief. While he felt himself angry only a minute earlier, he was now perfectly calm.
"Years of practice," she chuckled, "All I have to do is get your mind into the gutter, and voilà you're back to being as happy as a clam."
"That's a handy trick," he laughed along with her, "Does it work both ways?"
"It might," she responded coyly.
"Brice has baseball again tomorrow," Chuck sighed.
"I know," Blair nodded, "And Aiden is wearing a face mask the entire time."
"That's a little excessive," Chuck pointed out.
"I don't care," Blair huffed, "You've only seen the pictures. I have to deal with it in Technicolor."
"Just give him his baseball mitt," Chuck suggested, "He's an excellent catcher when he has his mitt. Was he wearing his mitt when the ball hit him?"
"I didn't even think to bring it along," Blair admitted.
"He probably would have caught the ball if he'd had his mitt. He has excellent hand-eye coordination," Chuck explained.
"Now you tell me," Blair threw up her hands in exasperation.
"Feel free to blame the entire incident on me," Chuck replied, "I clearly didn't have the foresight to see this as a possibility."
"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, "The entire thing was an unfortunate accident. The odds of it happening the first time were small, a second time would be even more rare."
"Yet you are insisted that he wear a catcher's mask," Chuck pointed out.
"I hate when you turn my logic against me," she glared at him, "You do that on purpose all the time. It's so irritating."
"It's one of my most enduring qualities," he chuckled.
"No charging bull for you when you get home, Mister Bass," she continued to scowl at him.
Her response had him howling with laughter.
"I hate you," she huffed.
"I love you too," he continued to chuckle, not taking her statement seriously for even a millisecond.
"You're so irritating," she shook her head, "How did I ever find this charming?"
"I wore you down," he smirked.
"And I have two clones of you to deal with," she remarked.
"Speaking of clones, why is Brice sleeping with you, and how is it Serena's idea?" Chuck prodded.
"After having my nightmare, I knew that I needed to see Lori, but her only opening was during Charlotte's riding lesson. I asked Serena to take Charlotte and the boys. Naturally she said yes. She saw the bags under my eyes; she guessed the cause. She spent the rest of the day talking to Brice about how with his daddy out of town that he was the man of the house and how he should be protecting his mother and siblings. He gets home and suddenly he's insisting that he sleep in our bed, where his daddy would, like he's replacing you. If he wasn't your son, he'd be in his own bed right now," Blair explained, "He even pulled out the 'New York Times' tonight and proceeded to look through the business section and stock reports like he's seen you do nearly every day of his life."
Chuck bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh, but he knew it was a battle he was going to lose.
"Now I have to deal with the constant motion of your son all night long. These bags under my eyes will be double the size tomorrow," she cautioned him, "It took me forever to train you to not move around all night long."
"I don't have a solution for you on that one," Chuck shrugged, "I'm sorry, Beautiful."
"I have one," Blair replied, "Make it home on Friday like you promised."
"Absolutely," Chuck nodded.
"Good night, Bass," Blair smiled.
"Good night, Bass," he repeated with his own smile.
There was a mutual pause as they locked eyes for several moment before they disconnected their video chat that night.
Blair sighed in relief that she only had one more night of chats to get through.
TBC…
Feedback is encouraged.
