Notes: Decided to write out the next chapter while I was on a roll, since I knew this wasn't going to be a long one. We're getting close to the end of Act One now, so hopefully Badger will be able to catch a break soon.


Badger could hardly even remember how he'd got back up to the room. Only it must have involved some fast running, even for him. Because one moment he'd been watching Crow and Umid kiss each other and seemingly the next thing he knew he was lying face down on the bed, crying his eyes out.

He was so upset and angry that he even ended up biting down on the sheets to block out the ugly sounds from his mouth. Although he knew he wouldn't damage them, getting the sheets all soggy like that did make him feel bad. He'd have to make it up to them for this later...

...Actually, no.

What did Badger owe these people? These strangers who had taken Crow away and made their leader feel more like one of them than one of the Black Ravens. It wasn't fair!

But even thinking like that wasn't fair. Badger couldn't blame the kindly old Margaret or her granddaughter because they'd let Crow have a place to stay. He couldn't blame Umid for probably being more able to talk about his feelings for Crow than Badger was. Everything that had happened to Badger recently could only be blamed on one person...

"...Badge'?"

And there he was! The great Crow himself stood at the door with a face full of concern. It was far too late for concern, though. Perhaps Crow should have had some of that when he'd dragged Badger from one end of England to the other in his quest to make sure all of the Black Ravens were exactly where he wanted them to be.

Badger sat up and glared across at Crow. He tried to hold his legs still to stop them from shaking, but it had little effect.

It seemed that Crow knew Badger wasn't going to be the one to start this, so he began to explain himself; "We 'eard ya run off... I'm sorry. We didn't know ya were there. If we 'ad done then we wouldn't 'ave-"

"Kissed each otheh?" Badger finished, "You'd 'ave just waited until lateh when I was gone so you could do it then?"

Crow hesitated.

"I know that wot ya saw probably upset ya," he reasoned, "It might seem... wrong that I wanted to kiss anothah boy, but I'm still the same-"

"It weren't you kissin' 'im that bothehed me!" shouted Badger. He tried to drown out how awful interrupting Crow while he was talking made him feel, "If you think afteh all this time that somethin' like that would upset me, then you doun't know me at all!"

"Why are ya so angry then?" Crow demanded. It was clear that being told he didn't know one of his friends bothered him.

"Because... because how dare you like some boy when I've spent so long lyin' awake at nights wishin' that you would!" cried Badger, "Do you know how 'ard it's bin to grow up thinkin' I'm some kinda sick weirdo for getting' buttehflies in me stomach when I think of you? And I'd 'ate meself because you're Crowlo – so perfect, so normal. All the girls like Crow. All the girls an' Badgeh! But why would you waste even one minute lookin' at Badgeh when you could 'ave anyone else in the world? I was kinda ah'reet with it when I thought you'd just be runnin' afteh lasses like Louis an' everyone else who's not sick like me, but you 'ad to... 'ad to... wanna kisses boys... A different boy to me..."

At that point Badger had to stop, because his chest was heaving so hard that he didn't think he could carry on talking anyway. All of the hurt that he'd bottled up for ages now suddenly seemed to have no trouble flying right out of his mouth.

"Badge'... I didn't know..." Crow murmured.

There were a few more sobs until Badger felt he was ready to continue; "Why would you know? You think you take such good care of us, but you doun't. You doun't give a toss what we want. That's why you stormed off when Wren an' Socket told you they might wanna do somethin' different to what you 'ad planned for 'em. That's why you just let me follow you 'ere without tellin' me even one thing to stop me from worryin'. Mr. Boss-man Crow just wants everythin' to go smoothly, without thinkin' about what the rest of us might want."

"Ya ain't bein' fair!" protested Crow.

"Nah. Nah, I'm not bein' fair," Badger agreed, "But afteh puttin' up with you not bein' fair for so long I think I'm overdue a chance to not be fair for a bit."

And suddenly Badger had stood up. He stared past Crow and out into the corridor. It was eerily dark, but somehow it looked a lot more inviting than being right here at this very moment.

"Let's just talk this through," Crow offered, as he started to walk over to Badger.

Badger smiled down at him. It was a weak, tired smile that contained no humour at all, but an infinite amount of hurt and malice.

"Doun't think I will."

With that, Badger was out of the door. He had no trouble getting around Crow, as even if Crow had time to react, Badger was still the taller and faster of them both. Because of that, Badger knew as he bolted down the stairs that there was no way Crow could catch him. There were shouts to stop coming from behind him, but Badger didn't listen.

Umid was sat in the lobby. In all likelihood he'd been waiting for Crow to finish talking to Badger. It was awful that Badger and Umid had to meet in these circumstances. Because otherwise they might have gotten along really well. Maybe they could have even been friends and Umid might not think Badger was all that weird. But it was far, far too late for that possibility to come to pass now.

Fortunately for Badger, it took Umid a fraction of a second too long to get up out of the chair. Even though Badger knew nothing about him, he could wager that Umid might be able to keep pace with him better than Crow. So it was lucky that he hadn't been prepared for the lanky northerner to race by him.

Badger was out the door and gone. He left it hanging open behind him and darted off down the street. A few late night straggler looked his way, but there was probably far too much drama happening in London already for them to pay much attention to one running boy. So he was allowed to continue his escape uninterrupted.

After he'd put a few streets between himself and the hotel, Badger reached the conclusion that Crow and Umid hadn't been able to follow him quickly enough. Or maybe they just didn't bother trying at all. Since they'd have had so much explaining to do with each other and Crow probably hated Badger after hearing all the things he'd said.

His stomach lurched at the thought of Crow hating him. Even if at this point Badger shouldn't care about Crow, he still did. All those years of pining after him couldn't be washed away just because Badger had been harshly disillusioned about the sort of person Crow was.

It didn't take his brain long to come up with many, many awful scenarios about what Crow would do now that he likely hated Badger. Perhaps he'd take Umid back to Misthallery and tell the others that Badger had wasn't part of the Black Ravens any more, because he was stupid and said awful things. But it didn't matter, because Umid could join them instead and he wouldn't be weird like Badger was...

He choked out a loud sob at this thought.

And even though he was probably safe at this point, Badger found that his legs hadn't stopped moving. In all honesty, he didn't even know where he was or where he was going, just that he didn't want to stop still anywhere right now.

After a while of simply wandering through the streets with all these terribly extreme notions of how he might never be okay again, Badger knew that he should come up with some sort of plan. There was no way that he could go back to Crow after that and even returning to the other Black Ravens would be a bad idea. But there must be someone in the world that needed a Badger to be there...

Then it came back to him, with crystal clarity. The one person who did need him, but who he'd ignored as he'd gone on this wild goose-chase.

His dad.

In this moment of desperation, Badger allowed himself to overlook all of the problems between the two of them. He told himself, not for the first time, that his dad was simply unwell and needed to be looked after. Badger... no, Simon was the only person who could properly care for him.

This was what he should have been doing all this time, instead of running around the market with a head filled full of dreams that Crow had put there. Because he knew now that couldn't be Badger any more. Not the old Badger, moulded by Crow into someone who could work as part of a team but was too shy to speak his mind, or the new Badger, who was suppose to be confident, but was actually just angry and sad.

He could be Simon. And he should have been Simon this whole time. Because him and his old man only had each other now that Mam was gone. Even her photo had been left in the bag back at the hotel. It was terrible to realise this, but Simon knew that he just had to accept it was gone now. He had his memories of Mam and he had a dad to take care of. That would do.

So he had now reached a decision about where he should go, but he still had no idea how to get there. In his flight, Simon had weaved through streets and alleys with the intention of losing his possible pursuers. No regard had been held for direction and London was such a big place...

It would help if he could read the signs that were littered about everywhere. No doubt the train station was an important part of London and it'd be easy to get directions back there. But all the letters on the signs just became a jumble in Simon's head. Looking at those words was a fruitless task that made him feel worse about himself, so he didn't bother.

He could always ask someone for directions, but the prospect of talking to strangers filled him with a sense of dread. Even if he knew this was his best bet, Simon still couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he'd get half way to mustering up the courage, walk towards someone and then change his mind and hurry off. Pathetic. So pathetic...

The wandering lasted for an indefinite amount of time. It can't have been that long, since it was still dark all around, but to Simon it felt like forever.

It had to stop.

He needed help and he wouldn't get it if he didn't ask for it.

So after some searching, Simon found a police officer. Back in Misthallery, the Chippe boys were always friendly enough. They might not have been the most fond of the troublesome market kids, but they'd never refuse to help someone in need. So surely the officers here must be the same. After all, that Grosky guy who'd helped with the spectre mystery had been from London and he seemed nice enough.

Simon nervously approached the man and tried to get his attention by saying hello. What actually came out his mouth was a hoarse squeak, which made the hapless officer nearly jump out of his skin.

"Bloody hell! Don't go sneaking up on people like that, boy!" gasped the officier, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

"...S'not... I-I-I were... j-just..."

"Speak up, I can't hear a word you're saying."

The man pressed in close. Although Simon knew that the officer didn't mean any harm, he was still very tall and overbearing. His moustache and large eyebrows twitched irritably as spoke. And his demanding tone only made Simon feel more nervous still.

"S-sorreh... didn't m-mean no 'arm or n-nowt... just wonderin-"

"That's quite a strong accent you've got there, lad. I can't understand a word you're saying!" the man laughed, "Now speak proper English and we can start agai- ...Hey!"

But it was too late. Simon's... oh, who is he kidding, Badger's nerves gave out completely and he'd darted away. It was so stupid to think that someone like him could ever waste the time of a busy officer like that. Why had he been so presumptuous? Everyone in London was far too important to be bothered by someone like Badger.

That included Crow...

His embarrassment spurred him on enough to put some distance between the confused officer and himself, but soon after that Badger's legs cried out that they were almost at a loss for energy. It was unusual for Badger to run out of adrenaline, since he wasn't use to aching like this from exercise, so he didn't immediately know what was going on. Perhaps his addled state, combined with the exhaustion from several days worrying had finally caught up with him.

All he needed was a few moment's rest. Then he could be up and on the go again.

Even if he couldn't bring himself to ask someone the way, if he wandered around enough he would eventually either find the train station or a way out of London. He'd get there, he knew he would. And after that he could go home to his dad and forget about all of this mess.

Somehow it would be all right.

On that fleeting feeling of positivity, his legs gave out under him. Badger felt his knees scrape along the ground. It probably hurt, but his mind was going all hazy and numb, so he couldn't tell. Why hadn't he noticed before how sluggish his movements had become? Was something wrong with him...?

In the swirling grey of a foggy London morning, Badger blacked out...