Hello everyone! I hope you're in good shape today and you're having or will have a very good day. I have a new chapter for you :-)

I'm not really proud of this translation because the end is a tiny bit complicated, and I'm not good enough to translate well, but I expect you to understand what I meant (hopefully).

Thank you for the review you let me, I really enjoyed reading them and they helped me to write this one and I will also help me to write the next chapters (with your wishes, your remarks, etc.)

Have a good day and a good reading!


Chapter 18 : The culprit

Before Kelly entered the observating room, he froze. He was scared, scared to see again his best friend fighting for his life. And above all, he felt guilty. Guilty to have explained this rescue, because this story had been the trigger of this new aortic dissection. He sighed while his hand reached the door, then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Instinctively, he turned. It was Serena, the nurse who were accompanying him. She was smiling at him, but he didn't need this. Not today. Not now.

« It will seem rude, but don't smile foolishly at me. It won't work ».

Serena swallowed her smile nervously. She was young, and she didn't have the habit to face a guy like Kelly.

« I'm just doing my job sir ».

« I know. But please, stop it. It makes me more angry than anything else ».

She was puzzled : she had learned how to smile in every circumstances to alleviate the concerns of the relatives of her patients, or her patients themselves even.

« You're smiling although my best friend, my brother is considered... Dead on this operating room. It make me think that you don't feel anything ».

She understood what Kelly meant : this smile was just a facade, but it could hurt in some cases.

« I understand. I'm sorry ».

Kelly feigned a smile although he didn't want to and turned again toward this door. He entered, moved forward slowly before taking a seat. It was the same oparating room, the same observating room. He was nervous.

« I'm truly sorry if I hurt you earlier. I didn't want to offense », Serena assured again. « We learn how to smile in pretty every circumstances, but they don't tell us that... That this smile can hurt ».

Kelly understood too : he knew she didn't have experience, but it didn't avoid this feeling that was invading him when he was seeing a smile on a nurse's lips.

« It takes courage. To smile in every situations. I can't. Not when someone I like this much is in danger ».

« L-like this much ? »

« Friendly. Matt and I... We experienced some events that have brought us closer a lot, that bind us. I... I already lost one of my brother, I don't want to lose another one ».

His voice was calm but trembling, emotional. He wasn't really angry, he was sad. He was unhappy and his voice was like... Off.

« Mr. Casey is very special for you then ».

« He is, and not just for me. Matt... Matt is always here when we need him, for everything and anything ».

Kelly sighed again, lowering his head. He still hadn't look inside the room, or the screens. He couldn't, he didn't want to face the reality. This reality that was bothering him, that was torturing him. He already looked once, and Matt nearly died. Watching a second time, it was for him as if fate was sealed and would kill his friend.

« If... You don't want to watch, I can... Update you ? »

He didn't answer, not immediately. He was thinking. Should he face this scene that would haunt him, or should he face the real problem ? He didn't know what to do, but his anger was very, very strong.

« No, thanks. I... I think I'm gonna go. I can't watch, I... I have to face the real problem ».

« The... Real problem ? »

Serena wa puzzled even more : Kelly was too mysterious for her. She didn't know what to do.

« You... You can call me ? If I'm not here before the end of the operation ? Please ? »

The real problem... It was a mystery for the nurse. But she had to be there for the relatives. She smiled mechanically again before changing her mind, thinking again about what this man in front of her had said earlier.

« No problem, I'll call you ».

Kelly shook his head very slightly, as to thank her. It was all he could do. He go up, opened the door then left. He left for the firehouse, to face the hard reality, the problem, what had triggered this new injury. All along the way, his anger grew with each passing second as he approached the firehouse. Fortunately, when he arrived there, he saw all the parked trucks : there had been probably no call. He parked his car, got out, walked toward the firehouse, came in and rushed straight into the common room. Everyone began to look at him. In a fit of anger like he never had before, he threw himself on Hermann, pinning him to the groung and hitting him on his face without stopping. Until the screams of the other firefighters came to chief Boden's ears. Nobody dared to move : they were simply unable to. They were looking at Severide, hitting Hermann without doing anything, just wondering why Hermann was his punching-ball. Seeing this, Boden rushed at Severide to stop him. He took his arm, the one he used to hit an almost KO Hermann, then put him down to the ground in less than three seconds, trying to calm him.

« Kelly, KELLY ! Calm down ! »

But he didn't. He grunted, screaming of anger. Abode all, tears were flowing freely down his cheeks. Kelly hardly ever cried, that was what had shocked the most his colleagues. Although Kelly was still angry, he stopped struggling against Boden, he knew he would lose, he was so stronger than him.

« Brett, Chili, take Hermann to the ambulance », he ordered calmly.

« Chief, I'm fine », he tried to reassure. « I'm fine ».

But Boden gave him a piercing look so he obeyed without a word. The silence had fallen into the common room, almost : Kelly's tears hadn't stopped. These tears annoucing sadness, anger, but also hate. Boden knew Kelly : he was functionning like his father. Chief Boden knew how to handle this.

« Kelly, look at me. Look at me ».

But Kelly wasn't listening, his eyes were closed, he continued to cry. It wasn't good, and everybody knew it : even with Darden's death, he hadn't been this sad.

« What happened ? »

All knew what the chief meant : he wanted to know about Matt. Boden waited Kelly to calm down a little, still holding him.

« Matt... He... When he heard about... About the rescue, he... He got angry... And.. And ».

He couldn't even finish his explanation. His cries intesified.

« His heart endured too much stress at once... And it stopped... »

All straightened almost at the same time. They were here when Kelly had explained the rescue to Matt, they were here when he put them out of his room, when he got angry.

« He... He's in surgery, again. When it's gonna stop ! »

« Kelly, Kelly listen to me. Why you hit Hermann ? »

He didn't answer, too angry, too sad, too... In tears.

« Because Hermann spilled out », Otis announced to the chief. « He... He said that... That Casey scared us that day and... And Severide had to explain the rescue. That's why Casey got angry at us ».

Boden released his grip, slightly in shock. He perfectly understood now what was going on into Kelly's head: for him, Hermann had triggered this stress, and it was the stress that triggered a new problem with Casey's heart. For Kelly, Hermann was responsible for his condition.

« I know what you're thinking Kelly. But Hermann has nothing to do with this », he explained calmy.

« Nothing to do with this, my ass ! If he had followed my orders instead of countering them, Matt wouldn't have been in this shape ! And if he hadn't have spilled out this rescue, he wouldn't have a new aortic dissection ! If Matt is in this shape, it's his fault, HIS FAULT ! »

He took advantage of the fact that Boden had released his grip to tip him on his side and free himself to get up. He pointed to the parking space, his eyes filled with anger and hate.

« I don't want to see him approaching Matt again, that's clear ?! Never ever ! »

Then he left, slamming the door, heading toward his car to return to the hospital. His right hand gave him some pain: the pain that appeared when someone knocked something or someone else several times and strong enough. He looked at his hand while he got behind the wheel of his car. His hand was bleeding, he was trembling. His whole body was shaking in fact. He inhaled deeply and exhaled a few seconds later. He had to calm down. After several minutes without moving, he managed more or less to find some serenity and took the road to the hospital. Arriving back in the waiting room, he met Dr. Riley.

« Doc? »

« Mr. Severide! I... Thought that you would have insisted on being in the observating room », the doctor remarked.

« I had, but... I had something to do ».

The doctor lowered his gaze down on Kelly's right hand. He saw that it was bleeding, he had fought someone or hit something. When Kelly realized where he was resting his eyes, he lowered the sleeve of his jacket and looked away. He felt bad, but made Dr. Riley smile. The doctor tried to hide it.

« I bring you into thr observating room in one condition : you let me cure your hand ».

Kelly looked him in the eye. He began to understand how the neurologist worked, and he knew that he understood what that something was. But right now, he wanted to see Matt. Then he let himself nodding slightly while looking down.

« Come with me then ».

He raised his arm to indicate Kelly to pass and followed him. He opened the door and let him in. The nurse jumped and stood up abruptly.

« Doctor? Mr. Severide? »

She was really surprised. She did't know where to go because technically, she had to be in ICU.

« You were accompanying Mr. Severide? »

« Y-yes doctor. He... He has something to do and asked me to keep him informed », she justified.

« Don't justify. It's the standard procedure. You're new here, you have to get used to this kind of situation, that's all ».

He smiled at her, she smiled back.

« Could you do me a favor? »

« Yes, Doctor? »

« Could you get me something to disinfect wounds, gauze and a bandage please? »

« Of course! I'll be right back in a few minutes with them ».

Passing Kelly, Serena saw his hand. Swollen, red, flesh almost raw. He had fought against someone or hit something. She went out without attracting attention. Kelly knew that she had looked at his hand, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to know how was his brother. He looked up at the screens, frowning while seeing moving pictures that were on them.

« Everything is going perfectly well apparently », Dr. Riley assured. « His vitals are good, surgeon isn't distraught. This is a sign that everything is seemingly going as planned ».

Kelly nodded. He understood nothing about what was going on, but knowing that his brother was fine, sort of, it reassured him somewhat.

« And... He'll be fine, uh? »

« I can't tell you, I'm not a cardiologist. But I hope. Matt has been through a lot of events these past few days and pulled through almost without any worries. That would be... I will say shame and sad to not see him pull through this ».

Kelly said nothing. He didn't want. He couldn't in fact. Dr. Riley got up to look closer to what was the surgeon doing. He then took the microphone.

« Dr. Kinsley? Inject more heparin into his blood ».

« And why, Mr. neurosurgeon? »

« Because you may not see it, but he's developping clots despite heparin already in his blood ».

« If I inject more heparin, he will be temporarily hemophilia, and he has already lost too much blood »

« Then do a filling again. If ther's a clot in his heart, it won't restart despite the electric shocks ».

No one spoke for a few seconds. Dr. Kinsley knew that Dr. Riley was right, but he wouldn't admit it. Receiving a cardiac surgery advice when you are a cardiologist and from a neurosurgeon was considered as an insult in medicine. But the neurologist was entirely right, and he was aware. He sighed and glanced at the OR nurse.

« Do a filling again, it will dilute his blood and prevent other clots from forming. We can't increase the dose of heparin ».

She nodded and placed on the IV pole several bags of saline and opened them fully. At the same moment, Serena came back with the material and sat next to Kelly.

« Don't worry doctor, I got it », she assured.

He nodded and turned his head toward the operating room, focusing on it. Many times, Kelly cringed while the nurse was treating his hand, then bandaged it. He got up and came near the doctor.

« It's Normal that... It takes too much time ? »

« If I understand, Dr. Kinsley will use the stent technology in remodeling his aortic root, right? »

« Uh... I think... that's it, but I'm not sure ».

Kelly had a doubt. The anger was so great in this moment that he had no recollection of what the surgeon had said earlier.

« You blamed me for having used an experimental technology, but you let Dr. Kinsley use a technology that has never tried in such cases? »

« He told me all the risks he knew. He confessed: it was risky, what are the risks, everything ».

« I did that too ».

« But you haven't given me all the risks ».

« If we had done nothing, Matt would be dead. If this didn't work, Matt would be dead. It worked and we monitor him closely in case that something could happen. And I warned you that we have never used this technology on a case like Matt. Dr. Kinsley is in the same situation as me ».

The doctor was right. Dr. Kinsley was in the same situation as Dr. Riley, and he let him do the operation. Matt would indeed be a guinea pig again. He sighed, acknowledging in some ways his defeat.

« Don't worry. The stent technology is... Less invasive and more effective than my experience. We know more the heart than the brain. In fact, we use stents for several years and it's rare that one of them breaks after installation. This stent is much more evolved, but if it works, if his heart restarts and it beats for more than ten minutes without bypass, then the stent will remain in place. We have to just leave his body and heart get used to it ».

« And... And he won't have to take medication, nothing? »

« Technically not. But I think initially, he will be on medication to prevent any risk and then Dr. Kinsley will reduce the medication gradually to let his body take over ».

Kelly nodded, looking at the floor, then back into the OR.

« They have almost finished repairing his heart ».

« Already? » Kelly wondered.

« It's been... Four hours they are in", the doctor said, watching the screens. « They had to start before you came ».

« They did », Serena stated. « When Mr. Severide arrived, it was almost an hour that Dr. Kinsley was in ».

« And... What will he do when... When the repair will be over ? »

« Dr. Kinsley will shock his heart to restart it, then check if the stent holds and if the blood flows properly. And gradually he will lower the use of the bypass to 0 and will remove it ».

« And it takes how long? »

« The time for the examinations, and for removing the bypass, I will say a long hour ».

They had to wait the verdict now.