A/N: Hello, beautiful people! I hope those of you in the midst of the snowpocalypse are staying safe, while those of you in warm places aren't annoyingly rubbing it in their faces. I myself am fighting to make my way back into the states, and will most like need to hijack a set of huskies to reach my campus.
Any offers?
In other news, I am so thankful for all of your reviews and alerts! I'm beyond flattered, and if I weren't such a hot mess in life, I would respond to all of you. But just know, whether you're reviewing, alerting, or just reading, I've sent a special word of thanks to the fanfic gods for you.
Want to know whom else I'm thankful for? The awesomeness that is SunflowerFran. I'm serious. She's my MVP, and if I ever buy a sunflower in life (which I plan to) it will be named in her honour.
Lastly, not much goes on in this chapter, but I assure you that the information/progress is necessary. I know things are proceeding slowly, so I thank you for your patience! Don't worry, things will definitely be picking up in the future.
Enjoy!
PART II: Pigeon
Chapter 12
Bella wakes with a gasp. The motion is painful, but not as much as the last memory she has of breathing. She brushes her fingertips against her lips to see whether blood is still lingering there, but thankfully, her mouth is clean. She's no longer in the middle of the forest and never has she been happier to be lying on her pallet with Lua tucked into her side. She turns to see Claire reclined on her own pallet, a book atop her face. While her muscles are incredibly sore, and her skin feels as if every inch is bruised, Bella is still able to move. She carefully lifts the book from Claire's face and sets it on the ground. Unfortunately, the movement startles Claire awake.
"Bella?" Claire whispers, "How are you feeling?"
"Surprisingly, I feel okay," Bella sighs and lowers herself to the place on the bed that Claire has cleared for her.
"That would be thanks to the twins," Claire says in reference to Quil and James, "They are truly gifted with administering advanced medicine. Unfortunately, some of your bruises still remain, but in a day's time, you can receive more treatment."
"How long have I been sleeping?" Bella wonders.
"About a day," Claire answers. "You were really hurt. I don't know what Eleazar was thinking. He should never have let them go full strength on you."
"If his intent was to crush my spirit and my body, then he succeeded," Bella hisses bitterly.
"Don't say that," Claire shakes her head as she grips Bella's hand. She holds on tighter when Bella attempts to pull away, "That wasn't a training exercise, it was a planned slaughter. No one could have handled that. You have this misguided notion that you're not strong enough or not enough in control. But I saw the girl who strung a man up by his neck in a prisoner's vessel without flinching, and who demanded a job for herself when there was none in the castle. You have what it takes, and you can do it if you stop telling yourself that you can't. You're going to save us, Bella. There's no question about it."
Emotion overwhelms Bella as she pulls her friend into her arms. Initially, she'd thought that no one could possibly love her like her sister, but here she has friends who care for her so fervently that she wants to believe in herself. She'd already decided that she'd give her all to protecting the Cullens and fulfilling her mission, but the truth was, she never sincerely thought that she could be successful. She realizes that Claire's right. She'll never come close to succeeding if she doesn't change her mindset. Although it feels as if the other lunellas want her to fail, at least she has James, Quil, Bree, and Claire as loyal companions.
Later in the morning, Bella's thoughts are positive as she heads to work. Remembering the way she was utterly defeated brings waves of humiliation, but she still feels determined to better herself. In the meantime, she'll need to heal. One look in the mirror had shown that her skin was covered in bruises. The remaining makeup that Bree had was only enough to cover her neck and provide for a light layer on her face. Underneath her right eye and around her chin are still two prominent discolorations, and added to this, is the split of her bottom lip.
In summary, she looks terrible.
Her body is another story in itself. Earlier, when she had lowered herself into the hot baths, she could barely find a space on her skin that wasn't the color, blue, purple, yellow, or green. And now that she's met with Mistress Pope for the morning, she can add the bright red welt on her ankle. Apparently, looking beaten couldn't protect you from further beatings. If she had the mental strength, Bella would have sent her wooden bucket flying at the old bat's head, but she could barely focus on scrubbing the dirty sheets let alone spend her energy on retaliating. Four hours later, she hangs out her last piece of laundry and leaves to seek out two people she'd never thought she'd voluntarily meet.
One proves harder to find than the other, but eventually, Bella corrals Lucy and Tyler to a shaded area inCharlotte's Garden. The thick brush of the leaves gives them enough cover to be blocked by the looks of passerbys. Bella supposes it's for the better. While there's nothing entirely suspicious about servants conversing together, meeting in the workday outside of lunch is a bit peculiar. But now is the best opportunity, when there are hardly any ears about.
"You look horrendous," Tyler notes once the three are alone.
"What is the meaning of this?" Lucy asks, "I have chores to attend to."
"I only need your attention for a moment," Bella tells them, "I need your help."
"No," Lucy answers without hesitation.
"What exactly is your issue with me?" Bella huffs, "Is it because I'm inexperienced, but expected to lead? If you dread the thought of an amateur leader, I'm giving you the opportunity to change that."
Tyler's interest has been piqued, "And how would that happen?"
"Why should wehelp you?" Lucy throws in.
"You'd train with me in the morning as an addition to my night training," Bella says, "And you should do it because like it or not, I will be leading you. I've realized that I have the potential, but I need the discipline. It's up to you whether you want to contribute to molding me."
"Why us?" Lucy's voice is softer as she asks –less hostile, "Our dislike for you has not been discreet."
"That is exactly why I need you," Bella admits, "You won't coddle me. I need the intensity that Eleazar intended for me the other night, but with fewer opponents."
The two are silent, glancing between them. They're complete opposites in appearance. Whereas Lucy has skin in such a deep purple that it nearly appears black, and violet hair that cascades down her tall frame, Tyler is as white as the clouds above, with hair to match. But as they lock eyes, purple on black, Bella realizes how joined they are. Never has the partnership between the two of them been so apparent to her. She knows that if she has one of them, she'll have the other.
"I won't let anything happen to you," Bell continues, "I can't promise it, but I can swear that as faithful as you are to me, I will be to you. You're not fighting for me; we're fighting for each other."
Lucy sighs, "We'll think about it."
"That's all I ask," Bella smiles.
They go their separate ways, and Bella has just enough time to walk over to where she's meant to meet Charlotte. It doesn't occur to her until she's a few minutes away that she has no reasoning for the bruising on her skin, and Charlotte isn't the type who will politely ignore it. She's only just figuring out the fine details of her story when she rounds the corner to the meeting area.
"Well, don't you look ghastly?" Charlotte breathes as she takes in Bella's rough appearance. "However, you're late so you'll have to divulge the story to me after my lesson."
"Very well, Princess," Bella says from her curtsey.
"In the meantime, here's Edward," Charlotte waves as she walks away.
Bella's breath catches in her throat. Somehow, she hadn't thought of having to face Edward, even though he is the reason for her taking an hour off from work. Though she moves out of her curtsey, she keeps her eyes trained away from him. She would have kept the seam of her lips sealed had it not been incredibly rude not to address a royal.
"Your Highness-,"
Her words are cut off by the sensation of two strong fingers grasping her chin, and directing her head upwards. The piercing, green gaze of the Prince, is much more severe than any expression she had expected. Of all the emotions Bella thought she might see on Edward's face, anger was not one of them.
"You will tell me what happened," Edward says sharply.
Bella is silent. For how detailed her original excuse had been, she's surely unable to relay it at this point. Under the hardened gaze of Prince Edward, she hesitates. It feels entirely wrong to lie to him, and she despises having to be so duplicitous. Perhaps if she stays silent, he won't press the matter?
"I'm commanding you to tell me, Bella," Edward orders.
Apparently, silence doesn't work.
"I f-fell down some stairs, Your Highness." Bella whispers.
He holds her gaze as he moves his hand from its place on her chin. With soft fingers contrasting against his hard glare, he strokes the underside of her chin where the bruise blooms. His expression worsens as he traces where blue turns to green and green turns to yellow. And finally, to the place where beautifully clear skin had now become beaten, swollen flesh. The path leads down her neck, and to her collarbone, where Edward promptly rips his hand away from her. Without another word, he pushes past her and stalks down the hall.
Bella is left shaking in his wake.
~pigeon~
In a moment of stillness, Bella is able to appreciate the way the light of the early morning sun filters through the water. The orange-yellow beams provide a warm balance to the seemingly frosty-blue color of the liquid. She knows it's an effect of the glimmering blue rocks beneath her, but she pretends that the cold liquid around her is not merely translucent. The protesting of her lungs reminds her that she can't stay in this moment forever. She needs to breathe. At Bella's thrashing, Lucy pulls her out of the water.
"What was that?" Lucy spits as she drops Bella unceremoniously. Bella lands on her bottom, palms scratching against the very blue rocks she'd been admiring. "Were you just going to let me drown you?"
"No, I …" Bella trails off, unable to provide her with a valid answer.
While they've been practicing every morning for the past week, Bella's combat has only bettered infinitesimally. She doesn't want to admit it, but she knows that she's been distracted. Ever since Prince Edward stormed away from her that day in the archway, she's been unable to fully dedicate herself to any task. This week had brought the most beatings she'd ever received from Mistress Pope and the most frustration from her fellow lunellas.
"Do you even want to be here?" Lucy asks her.
The question surprises Bella. During and outside of combat, their conversations were restricted to purely technical topics; Bella and Lucy never broached discussions of emotions and desires.
"Of course, I do," Bella answers truthfully, "I'm just having a hard time focusing."
"Nonsense," Lucy huffs as she stalks away from Bella, "Concentration is not your issue. You simply don't have the makings of a leader."
"Who are you to say that to me?" Bella challenges. She knows her performance has been lackluster, but the words still sting. She'd made a promise to be more confident in her abilities, and that promise included believing she possessed the potential to lead the moonchildren to victory.
"I'm someone who has more strength in her little finger than you contain in the rest of your person," Lucy mocks, "You're fickle. You let every little emotion sway you until you can't give effort to the task at hand. There is nothing weaker than letting your emotions get the best of you."
"How dare you?" Bella retorts, dismay beginning to bubble beneath her membrane; "You speak so much about me when you know so little."
"I do know about you," Lucy rolls her eyes; "I know that you were kept in a cage."
"Watch your words," Bella warns.
"I know that you are naïve and ignorant of the on-goings of our world," Lucy continues.
"Stop it," Bella shrieks.
"And I know that you are nothing, but a pathetic little girl," Lucy finishes.
Faster than either Bella or Lucy can comprehend, she reaches out and grips Lucy's neck in her small hand, and squeezes, but not enough to add any detrimental pressure. Instead, Bella releases a signal from her fingertips, a surge of power that has Lucy's veins curdling to an orange color similar to the sunrise Bella had surveyed earlier. The bright orange venom spreads across Lucy's dark skin like a drop of ink on crisp paper, soiling and stretching its limbs in branching patterns. Realizing what she's doing, Bella releases Lucy immediately, who drops to her knees while clutching her neck, gasping for air that she couldn't access. Bella wants to provide assistance but fears allowing any further physical contact. She merely stoops by Lucy, monitoring as the girl catches her breath.
"I wish to apologize to you, but nothing excuses what I put you through," Bella says softly not even wanting to hear her own voice.
Lucy shakes her head, and while Bella is expecting to hear some form of chastisement or accusation, only a strained laugh escapes Lucy's lips. "That was what I wanted."
Bella stares at her in confusion, "You wanted me to attack you?"
"In a sort, yes," Lucy nods as she finally gets to her feet, "But I wanted your emotion to motivate you to act, not motivate you to cower."
Bella's surprise is apparent on her face, "Motivate me to act?"
"I meant every word of my criticism," Lucy says, "Emotions aren't a problem until you let them get the best of you. It's time for you to control them, and use them. You are so powerful, Bella, but the only real part of your power you've exercised is your ability to escape. Don't escape. Fight."
In the evening of that day, Bella finds herself fluttering around the throne room, clad in a flowing, caramel-colored dress. Initially, she'd been less than enthusiastic about having to perform for the royal family, but as the dance progresses, she gains more gusto. Her movements are languid with each extension of her arm and every turn of her leg seeming to blend together in one, long dance move. She can tell she has the attention of the entire court, and she feeds off their awed gazes. More importantly, she has Edward's attention, which he had denied her this past week.
She's seen Charlotte once in passing, and the brief encounter consisted of the young girl glaring harshly at her handmaiden, and Bella snickering in cohort. They are scheduled for a dance lesson next week, but what Bella really wants to know is whether she'll ever again be in the direct presence of Edward. It seems he is intent on avoiding her.
Case and point, his seat is empty by the time Bella finishes her routine. The smile she gives the rest of the royal family is a poorly held guise to cover the annoyance and confusion she feels over Edward's suddenly dismissive behavior. Admittedly, she'd never been close to him, not even familiar per se, but he'd certainly treated her with more warmth in the past. She remembered how he insisted on tending to her bleeding nose, and the playful way he'd teased her for meeting him while inebriated.
With a sigh, Bella trails into the hallway, intending to head back to her quarters. Ever so faithful, Lua flies in from the archway and finds purchase on Bella's shoulder. She knows the bird prefers to be nestled in her owner's wing, but unfortunately, Bella's wings would have to remain concealed until she retired to the privacy of her room.
"What have you entertained yourself with today, my songbird?" Bella coos softly to her friend.
"I imagined birds to be too flighty to sustain a meaningful conversation," a familiar voice stops Bella from walking.
In any other instance, his play on words would have Bella chuckling, but given his treatment over the past week, Bella can't bring herself to smile. In fact, she is so annoyed by the casual manner with which he initiates conversation that she can't hold back her barbed response.
"On the contrary," Bella says, turning to face Edward with an unconcealed glare, "I find birds to be more reliable than humans at many times."
Edward raises a brow, taken aback by her brazenness, "Your behavior indicates that you've yet again forgotten your position to me."
"I've forgotten nothing," Bella replies heatedly, before supplying as an afterthought, "Your Highness."
"Well, your propriety is most certainly a candidate," Edward scoffs, tugging his hand through his hair in a manner that betrays his discomfort. He paces a few steps away from Bella but doesn't leave her entirely. Still, she takes his silence as a dismissal and turns to head toward her quarters.
"Bella, wait," Edward sighs, finally walking toward her. "I didn't mean it."
"What exactly didn't you mean, Prince Edward?" Bella questions.
"Chastising you for your behavior," he explains, sounding unsure of his words, "I … actually find it refreshing for the most part."
"If that's the only thing you're apologizing for then I'll be providing you with more refreshing behavior, Prince," Bella snarks.
Edward's reaction surprises her. While Bella had thought he'd finally crack, and actually punish her for her insubordination, he merely throws back his head and laughs. She doesn't want to, but Bella ends up giggling right along with him. It's the first time she's felt the weight of the past week lift from her shoulders, and she hopes that Edward won't give reason for the burden to return. When their laughing ceases, Edward holds out his arm in offering, and leads Bella to sit on the stone bench in the archway. Reluctantly, Bella removes her hand from its place nestled under Edward's arm and places it in her lap.
"I apologize for my behavior the other day," Edward says softly.
"I don't understand what I did to upset you, Sir," Bella murmurs, "You were with me one moment, and the next you were gone."
"You may refrain from using my title," Edward says before revealing, "And it was not your actions, it was my own irrationality. Seeing you … seeing my people hurt displeases me."
"You needn't have been displeased," Bella tells him, "It was a result of my own clumsiness."
Edward shakes his head, "You say this, but I feel that you are lying to me."
Bella nearly becomes flustered, but somehow manages to contain herself, "I did fall." Bella bites her tongue, hoping he won't contest what she's said. It is the partial truth; Bella had fallen, but only after she'd been struck.
By the look on Edward's face, Bella can tell he sees right through her. The set of his mouth and the clenching of his jaw tell her that he's refraining from pressing the matter, and she can't imagine why. Bella knows that any other member of the royal family would command her to reveal what had happened in its entirety, and then she'd be required to fabricate a story. Thankfully, Edward doesn't insist, but Bella is confused as to why he has this much interest in the first place.
"Fine then," Edward acquiesces, "But see to it that you do not 'fall' again in the future, are we clear?"
"You have a penchant for making commands about my health," Bella notes.
"You are quite right," Edward notes with a raised brow, "Which actually means that you have already disobeyed me. I should have your head."
A combination of a scoff and chuckle escapes from Bella, "If you've refrained thus far from executing me, I doubt this case will be any different."
Edward groans, "Do I not intimidate you in the least?"
"Sometimes," Bella accedes, "But I certainly hope you're not this lenient with other staff members."
"No, I'm not," Edward, admits with a chuckle.
The admission and the sound of his laugh warms Bella, and she finds herself looking up to smile at Edward. Bella doesn't know why she's let down her guard with the Crown Prince so often. She would never try to be so brazen with any other member of the court –perhaps excluding Charlotte, but even she can be unpredictable –and also knows that any other member would have fired her a long time ago. What is it that makes these two act so differently around one another? Suddenly, something Alice had said to Bella a while ago hits her at full force:
There is the other guardian, who is unaware of his potential.
Bella had completely forgotten that she is not the only guardian present in the castle. The other is meant to be of Cullen royalty, but technically that could be Edward or Alec. There is no way for her to be certain unless she asks (which of course she cannot do), or she sees the unique insignia for herself (which would require seeing both royals undressed, and she certainly cannot do that). Just the mere thought of Edward shirtless has Bella's cheeks aflame, and her bolting up from her seat.
"Are you all right?" Edward asks concernedly.
"Yes!" Bella answers in an awkwardly loud voice. She winces, and tries to adjust her volume, "I mean, yes, I am. But I realized I must be keeping you from important affairs, so I should probably return to my quarters."
"I can assure that you are not a nuisance," Edward says, "And I believe I owe you a Cullenian lesson? I mean … if you'd be willing to stay?"
If her red cheeks weren't visible before, Bella is positive that they are now. Somehow, she manages to reply with a nod and resumes her seat.
"I believe we left off at teaching you how to speak about drunkenness," Edward begins.
Bella laughs loudly, her shyness leaving her immediately. The rest of the lesson continues in the same way, with both Edward and Bella teasing each other mercilessly. They go between moments of loud laughter and times of quieter appreciation for each other's company. All the while, the hall of the Cullenian castle that they occupy is filled with joyful sounds.
"Does she realize she looks like a sunflower, ready to rain sunlight on all who look down upon her?" -Simone Elkeles
~CH
