Here is the next chapter! I hope you will enjoy it!
„Good morning Miss Quinn!" I greeted my patient.
„Well somebody is in a good mood."Harley Quinn smiled at me, but something was wrong. „Is it because you got to see lil ol' me alone?"
„Of course." I nodded while taking a seat at the other end of the table. It did not take a long time to figure out what was out of place. She was even more drugged up than our first meating. Her eyelids were heavy, she could barely keep her eyes open, her smile was dreamy like she was on another planet. My anger rose.
„What did they gave you?" My first question as her doctor had not been very professional, but I decided to go practial. I couldn't even talk to her if she was on Planet Smiley.
„I dunno Puddin', it is so many different things, a little girl like me can never remember that many long and complicated names." she hummed.
„You are a doctor, you know those medicines." I murmured to myself while I flipped through my notes.
„Oh now Puddin' no need to be all gloomy." she giggled. "And here I thought that you were the only interesting and fun guy in this hell hole."
„My name is Dr. Joe Car, please refer to me like that Miss Quinn." I sighed. When silence greeted me I looked up from my papers to see the Queen leaned back with a blank expression. There was no playfull smile, not even sparkles in her eyes. Shit.
„Getting all professional, are we? I don't like that." she growled. Even though she was clearly drugged, her very being still demanded fear and respect. People should never mess with her. One wrong step and you are dead. And I just happened to wonder in the wrong direction.
I was going to had her wrapped around my fingers in no time. You got cocky, kid! the voice in my head laughed mockingly. And I had to agree with it. I had to be really carefull here. Not only was I playing with my job, but with my life as well.
„I am sorry Miss Quinn. It is my job. But I would really like to help you. Which is why I am here." I said with a small smile. I noticed that in life you can get many things if you can play the games right and you can smile. Pity that I worked at a place where only the insane patients knew this.
„Hmmmm... Well... I think I will let this one slide. But you only get one free life." she smiled at me.
„Thank you. I will not mess it up." I smiled back. I wanted her to feel as she was having somewhat of a control. I knew she liked it when she was on the top of the situations.
„Good boy! But since you were playing by some of my rules, I will be playing by some of yours." she tried to sit up, but the sedatives did not allowed her to make movements anymore. „Well, thats's a shame..."she murmured just to herself and tried to make herself as comfortable as possible on the chair.
„Are you... comfortable?" I did not know if it was a good idea to make her feel vulnerable.
„Well, I have been in more comfortable positions in my life, I am not going to lie, but it is not the worst either."
„I will try to minimalize your doses."
„Oh, I don't think the big ol' boss will like that." she giggled and I joined her withouth thinking. It was funny that she refered to Dr. Arkham just like me.
„Still. How am I supposed to get to know you if you are uncomfortable and as alive as a corpse..." Her loud lauther bounced around the walls for a long time.
„Now that is what I like! A man with a mind which he will speak and a good sense of humor." she said with a big smile. „When did I get so lucky to recieve one?"
„Well Miss Quinn, I guess we are both lucky."
„Harley."
„What?"
„Call me Harley. I ain't your doctor. You can call me Harley." she fidgeted a bit. Was it even possible for her to feel nervous? I did not think so, but suddenly she looked like a high school girl.
„Alright Harley." I obeyed with a smile. The tought that I might have any power over Harley not only as a doctor but as a man felt strange. But not unwelcomed.
„And I will call you Mr. J." She declared. „I am not a big fan of the doctor title you see."
I understood that, and I was kind of happy that she still decided to put me on a higher level than Pudding. How could anybody be a succesfull psychiatrist if his patient kept calling him Pudding? Pudding and fame didn't go together.
„I see. You can call me that, I like it." She seemed happy about my approval which filled me with joy. If I figure out her rules and buttons, I could unlock her really easily. „Can we start the session?"
„Yes Mr J!"
I started off with some basic professional questions, which led to nowhere. Harley answered all of them, yet I knew she way playing and telling everything but the truth.
„Now Harley, how can I be your doctor if you never tell me the truth?" I asked while raising my eyebrow and smoothing back my hair. She watched this movement with great facination.
„But these are boring questions... I am bored... Can we play?" she whined.
„Only if you are being a good girl." I looked in her eyes and watched the sparkles come out.
„I will be Mr J! I will be a good girl!" She sounded as excited as an inmate drugged up on numerous sedatives can.
„What would you like to play?"
„Since you seem to like questions really much, I would like to ask some too!"
„Why?"
„Because I want to get to know you, silly!" she laughed while some alarmes went off in my head. It was never a good sign when the Queen of Crime took interest in you and wanted to know you. Any sane person would turn around, buy a fake ID and a plane ticket to go as far as possible.
But we are not really sane, now are we? the little voice asked, but I pushed it to the side. I wanted to help her, I wanted to solve her and I wanted a career out of it! Sometimes the doctor had to give something away before he could recieve anything back.
„But we can choose not to answer." I added for safety. I knew I was robbing myself from some information but it could not hurt to add a little emergency exit from the situation.
„Okay." she nodded with a smile.
„Ladies first."
„Do you like working here Mr J?" I thought for a minute before answering.
„I like my job, but the staff can make it hard to enjoy it. Why do you kill people?"
„Because they are in my way or irritate me. Why do you not?"
„Because it is not the right problem solving technique in our society. What do you think about Batman?"
„Batsy is a gloomy stong guy in a bat pajama. He is my friend!" I had to snort at the tought. The Bat and Harley as friends... Now that was a new theory. „Do you really believe your society to be that pretty and nice? That moral?"
This gave me a pause. She did not say 'ours' which meant she did not consider herself as a part of it. And it was a pretty deep question for an insane person.
„Yes."
„Liar." she flashed a lazy smile. There was some playfullness and danger to it. I had to watch my steps. „Or simply stupid."
„What do you mean?" It kind of hurt my ego to be called stupid by a maniac. Or a liar.
„Mr J, your society is everything but moral and pretty. Not even professionals have morals."she stated like it was an universal fact. „But my society has morals. Honour among thieves. Rules that everybody obey. A system that works flawlessly since the begining. Your petty little thing is nothing but a shiny apple which is rotten on the inside."
I blinked, opened my mouth but then quickly shut it again. Did Harley seriously considered the criminal society more moral than the normal one?
It kind of makes sense. the little voice added but I ignored it.
„Do you really believe that?" I asked finally.
„Yes. Do you think we are so different? You and I?" she looked right into my eyes and searched for the answer herself while waiting for me to say it.
„Yes." We were different! We had to be! I was a doctor with a normal life and she was a maniac who killed people.
She was a doctor too. the voice whispered.
„You are right. You are worse." she smiled like a wolf.
What?
„W-What do you mean?" Did I just stutter?
„You. Are. Worse. Than. Me. Mr. J." she said slowly the smile never leaving her face.
„How can I be worse than you?" I felt a tingle of fear and unsureness for the first time in my life. Something in me screamed at me to stop this nonsense but the other parts of me – the bigger parts – wanted me to know more.
„You are wearing a mask. I am not. You pretend to be a shiny apple yet you are rotten to the gut. I do not pretend. You are a prisoner. I am free." Her eyes started to burn me, but I was too shocked to look away. I had to collect myself. Quickly...
„I am not wearing a mask." I said, my voice shaking a bit.
„But of course you are Mr. J! Let me show you!" she leaned closer to me. Now she seemed more alive than ever. Maybe the drugs strarted to wear off or she just really pushed herself. „Let me paint you the picture. Let's see our situations. We both want to be famous and recognised. We are young geniuses, who are always underestimated. What did we do? We fight for ourself and our dreams, but in a different way. I gave up my "apple life" and became a Queen. I am a head of a society, they fear me, respect me and obey me. They regonise my values and knowledge. And you? You kept on being an apple, crawling at the feet of the big dogs, and using an insane criminal as a stepping stool for fame and recognition."
I was lost. I wanted to unhear this monologe. It moved something within me, but I pushed it aside.
„I am not using anyone. I want to help you." I said weakly. I wanted to believe this but deep inside I knew I was lying.
„Oh Mr. J don't play dumb, I don't like dumb people. You don't want to help me. You are using me as an opportunity to shine and outshine everybody. You could not give a rat's ass what happens to me when you recieve your prize. I will be thrown aside like a used and broken toy. You just want fame. And I can give you that by playing your rules."
„I am not..."
„Keep the bullshit Puddin' . I understand you. This is the only way you can move forward in your world. And this is why I am not part of it. I thrown away my mask a long time ago. And I never regreted it for a second." she smiled.
I was unable to react. I just stared at her and tried to process what I just heard. She finished talking for good this time, and the rest of the session was filled with silence. The next thing I knew was that the guards came in and took her away.
„Boys, check up on Mr. J when you can, I think I might have been a little too hars!" I heard her voice. I was still unable to get up and my body started to shake a little. What was happening to me? There was a strange feeling in me which I could not put anywhere. I gathered my notes and retired to my office to put together my report for Dr. Arkham. My mind felt numb and I worked as a robot, putting down one word after another. When I finished I loosened my tie and leaned back in my chair.
„You are wearing a mask. I am not. You pretend to be a shiny apple yet you are rotten to the gut. I do not pretend. You are a prisoner. I am free." I heard her voice inside my head and I desperately tried to shut is out.
„She is just messing with you... This is how she breaks all of her doctors." I said to myself.
But she is right. You know deep inside that she is right. You are using her, and you are rotten. the voice added. I growled. It was right and I had to admit it. My morals really came out when she said it and I tried to defend myself, but in my mind I admitted more than once that she is the key of my career.
But she was not mad at you. She understood. She was not angry. the voice continued. I had to agree again. There was empathy in her eyes. She really understood it.
„She is still an insane criminal and I am her doctor, triing to fix her." I argued loudly.
She does not look like she wants to be fixed though... hummed the voice thoughtfully. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Now I was arguing with a voice in my head. It was fortunate that I only see Harley next Monday, because till then I would be able to collect myself and prepare for the next session.
I underestimated her. Or overestimated myself. Or both. I thought she would not find a way to get to me or I would be able to handle it.
You were wrong, kid.
I agreed. Again.
I had the worst and best week of my entire life. And it really said something. After the first private session with Harley, something shifted in me and did not let me calm down. I barely slept anymore, my mind was always working and planing. I was thorn between anger and gratitude. I was angry at Harley, because she made me feel this way, but I was gratefull since she opened my eyes to a whole new world.
It excited me. In this new light I Iooked thought all of her files and folders again and I started to see a system in her actions. Not a pattern, but I understood the motives. While last week I blindly learned all the datas, now I was able to store them. This woman was a pure genius. I always knew that, it was a fact about her but now I believed it with all of my heart. Only a highly intelligent person could hold a system like this together. An intelligent and strong person.
I underestimated her. Big time. But instead of fear all I felt was thrill. I am somebody that could challenge this genius, I could study her. I no longer focused on my nonexsistent book of Harley Quinn, all I saw was the things I could learn from her. My interest in her started as a spark but now it felt like a forest fire.
Easy there boy, don't get us killed in the fire. We are far from fireproof. the voice warned me. Since the session, the voice was back, stronger than ever and it was always in a chatty mood.
„Right. First, I have to learn the rules of her game. If I know them, then we can play and I can win." I said with confidance.
Look where confidance got you last time. You won't get any more free passes, if you push her around too much you will be the 6th broken doctor in a month.
On monday I was sitting in my office at seven in the morning rereading all my notes before my next session with Harley. I still had a lot of time, but I wanted to stop by Dr. Arkham and ask how the was the medication. Last week I asked for dose reduction and I even made a three pages long request where I explained how the sedatives interfere with the success of the therapy. After two hours of talking and reasoning, I got what I wanted. Dr. Arkham ordered to start the reduction of the sedatives, so when I see her on the next session she will only have a minimal amount of drugs in her system.
When Arkham informed me that Harley was on a very good behavour – for herself – I relaxed. I did not believe I changed her, but she was keeping her word to play by our rules. Maybe she was planning something too. I sat down in our therapy room and closed my eyes, triing to collect myself and prepare for what may come.
I heard Harley laugh way before the door opened and she was escorted in. She looked great compared to last week. She was alive, radiating power and insanity off herself and I was lost for a moment. It was an amazing feeling to be in this special aura of hers, like I just entered another world. In a sense I most certanly did.
I was brought back to the present when she was thrown into the chair by her guard who chained her to her seat.
„Is it reall neccessary to treat her like this?"I asked while my brow lifted.
„It is for your safety." Jerry the guard growled while he double checked the chain and the straightjacket. Harley was only giggling and when Jerry pulled away she playfully snapped her teeth at him.
„I see." I murmured and waited untill he left the room.
„He enjoys tying me up way too much. Do you think he has a kink for it?" Harley asked giggling.
„Maybe." I nodded with a smile. „How are you feeling?"
„Amazing Mr. J! Thank you for getting rid of all those stupid pills for me" she purred which sent a chill down my spine.
„You're welcome. I prefer to talk to you while your brain functions properly."
„Ain't you just the sweetest!" she cooed, but suddenly she straightened up and lost her smile. I looked at her slightly concerned.
„Is there any problem Harley?" I searched her face.
„I wanna apologise Mr. J..." she sighed.
„Why?" I was lost.
„Last time I was a little bit hard on you and I almost broke you" she grimaced. The look in her eyes was sad and regretfull rahter than annoyed.
„There is no need to apologize. My job is to listen to you even if you are harsh." I shot her a reassuring smile.
„You don't get it." she shook her head forcefully and leaned towards me. „You are special Mr. J."
„Why is that?" I automatically leaned closer too. Last week all I thought about was this woman and how special and intelligent she is. My equal or even above me by an inch. And now she was praising me. And it felt good.
„Because I can see you. I can see your intellect and fire in your eyes." she whispered like someone else would hear it. Like it was a secret. „But I saw you wearing that stupid mask on your face and hidding from me and it made me very angry!"
She did look angry even when she mentioned it.
„I am sorry Harley. I did not know the mask was there." I said and I realized I was telling her the truth. Untill she opened my eyes I always convinced myself that I was doing what is right and justified everything with little lies.
„Of course you didn't" she snorted. „No one does. But I can see it in your eyes."
I swallowed. We hardly started the session and I already felt weird. I tried to collect myself concentrating on my plan which I created over the weekend, but before I had a chance to talk, Harley spoke up again.
„So are we friends again?" she smiled at me but her eyes kept studying me.
„You consider me as a friend?" I was a bit taken back but I felt happy. Now I could skip the first half of my plan - the getting close to her part.
„Of course!" she gave me her best smile and my lips stretch into one too. „Can you do one thing for me though?"
„What?"
„I promise not to poke your mask anymore, but I want you to know, that you can take it of when you are with me. I want to see you... Because what I see in your eyes... Is beautiful." she breathed and I was speachless yet again. I was called beautifull and handsome before but only because of my physique, face and perfect behavour. She wanted none of that. She wanted me, raw, uncensored, even dark and twisted.
„Well... I can't promise anything but I can try." I showed her my best smile which made her glow from happiness.
„Of course Mr. J. Whatever is comfortable for you! We are friends after all!"
After a short time I got to work with Harley three times a week. We came up with a rutin on our meetings and it was something I always looked forward to. We spoke about our days first then I asked some questions so I could do my report for Arkham but in the remaining time I had thrown aside my notepad and we just had fun talking and laughing.
After spending a little over a month with her I started noticing little changes in my life. In the mornings I always spent five more minutes triing to figure out what to wear, so in case we meet I would look a little bit more presentable. Since I was forced to wear white shirts and black pants to work, only the quality of those could change and the color of my tie. After she complimented my purple tie – which was my only tie I could find that day and I was not comfortable wearing it – I even purchesed some more colourfull ones. I also spent an extra five minutes in front of the mirror to make sure my hair is styled to perfection.
One day I was a bit late and I barely made to our session in time. I felt like a mess and I still had my coffee in my hand.
„What's that Mr. J?" she asked while she curiously fidgeted in her chair. I could not get a permission to reduce the security down to handcuffs, so she wouldn't have to sit in a straightjacket chained to a chair.
„Coffee. I was running a bit late. I am sorry." I sat down and tried to calm my heart from the running.
„Espresso?" she perked up after taking a deep smell.
„Yes." I nodded with a smile. She was staring at my paper cup like it was the most amazing thing in the word. „Would you like some?"
„Can I have some?" the chains made a loud noise when she jumped up from excitement and they pulled her right back to her seat.
„Of course Harls." I smiled at her and stepped next to her with the cup. She never stopped moving, clearly she was thrilled that she got to drink coffee.
„It is hot and I do not want to pour it on you by accident Harley, please stop moving." as soon as it left my mouth Harley froze and kept her eyes on the coffee. I carefully held the cup to her mouth and helped her drink. After a few sips she pulled away her head and showed me her biggest smile. I let out a small laugh at the sight before me. The Queen of Gotham sat on her chair like the happiest kid in the world while she had coffee stains around her lips.
„Let me help you." I smiled and picked up a napkin to clean her face off. I had never been this close to her, I never even left my seat during our session, but this day I was standing next to her and carefully wiping her face. I could feel the heat radiating through the napkin and I could almost feel the softness of her skin. She might looked like a ivory statue but she did not feel like one.
„It felt like heaven!"She moaned and flashed me another brilliant smile. „Thank you so much Mr. J!"
„You're welcome Harls."I sat back down on my chair.
„I really like them, you know."
„What?"
„The nicknames you give me. I like them." I swear I could feel myself blushing and I could just pray she did not notice it.
„I am glad to hear it."I smiled. „Can we start?"
„Yes!"
Thank you for reading! I really love writting this story and I am glad that others seem to enjoy it too!
There will be one more chapter for this story, but I am thinking about adding a bonus chapter which would contain the events of the first three, but from Harley's POV. It would be a longer one shot like chapter but it would show the other side of the story.
