A/N- So this is the longest chapter I've written so far. I hope you guys like it, let me know what you think.


We hung out for a while at my house, catching up and acting like we always do. It almost felt like Kyle had never left, which was pretty much exactly what I wanted. It felt like all that time he'd been gone was some sort of bad dream, and it was fading away fast.

Kyle told me about this crazy professor he'd had at UC Berkeley; I told him about my summer abroad in France.

We ended up going up to my room, and Kyle froze in the doorway, staring at the emptiness of it.

"Dude, where's all your stuff?" he asked cautiously.

I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly feeling kind of guilty for leaving. I knew that was stupid, because Kyle wasn't even back when I'd gotten the job or the new apartment. I suddenly felt like I'd been hiding something, like I should have told him sooner or something. "Packed up," I said, feeling so uncomfortable standing here. I just wanted to leave my room at this point. "I'm supposed to leave in two days."

"Where are you going?" he said quietly, his voice full of hurt and disappointed. He stared at me with sad eyes, and I couldn't handle it.

"Well, I got this job an hour and forty five minutes away," I replied, almost mumbling. "I was going to move to that town."

He didn't reply, just looked like a kicked puppy.

"I might not, though," I blurted out quickly. "I mean, I was having doubts about it anyway, so-"

Just then, my phone started to ring and I almost jumped.

"Crap," I muttered as I saw the time. "Hey, Ken," I said, answering the phone. I noticed Kyle visibly get tense. I guess he'd hoped the worst was over.

"Hey, dude, where are you?" Kenny's voice said through the phone.

"Yeah, sorry, man, I totally lost track of time. I'll leave now," I replied, and Kyle looked so disappointed.

"You're such a flake," Kenny said with a laugh. "See you soon."

"Wait," I said quickly. "Um, can I bring Kyle?"

There was a pause. It was probably less than five seconds, but it felt like it lasted forever at that moment. "Kyle?" he replied, sounding confused. "He's with you?"

"Yeah, can he come?" I said, trying to sound casual for Kyle's benefit. Maybe he didn't realize the weight of the situation, the significance of what I was asking.

"Just don't expect me to be nice," Kenny said, and then he hung up.

I was a little shaken, since I rarely hear Kenny act like that. He sounded so cold, so unlike himself. I decided to not worry about it until we got there. "Yeah, he said you could come."

Kyle smiled, and it didn't reach his eyes. He looked nervous, a little scared. I tried to put on my best comforting smile and I patted him on the shoulder. "Nothing to be worried about," I said softly. "You know Ken. He's always forgiving."

When we got to the restaurant, it seemed like Kenny was already two beers in. He look pissed off until he saw us. He immediately put on an enthusiastic smile. "Hey, guys!" he said, overly friendly. He told me not to expect him to be nice, but I guess he decided to be anyway. "Come on, sit, I just ordered a cheese pizza."

Kyle smiled nervously and sat down. All his actions were careful, deliberate. It looked like he was trying hard not to break something. "Hey, Ken," he said, his tone quiet and friendly.

Kenny grinned and patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, Ky."

Kyle brightened a little at that, probably encouraged by the use of his nickname. I guess it must've made him feel like Kenny had forgiven him. I wasn't sure, but I didn't think it mattered. Kenny wasn't going to be mean. He didn't have it in him.

I sat down, too, and ordered myself a beer. The conversation progressed slowly. At first it was quiet and polite, a little too much so. It seemed very much like impersonal small talk. As we drank the beer and ate the pizza, the conversation started to get louder, more like it used to be.

At some points, we were laughing so openly it seemed like we really were sophomores in high school. Though if we were, then there would've been a four person sitting at that table.

Later on in the night, Kenny turned to me, smiling big. "So tomorrow is your last night, right? What are we going to do for it?"

Kyle's grin fell quickly and he looked at me. "I thought you weren't sure if you were leaving?" He said it like a question, lifting his voice at the end. He looked confused, too. When I turned to Kenny, he raised an eyebrow at me and his smile no longer looked genuine.

I just shrugged. "I'm having doubts," I replied, though my voice sounded unsure. I added confidence to my tone and added, "I'm thinking it over."

Kenny smiled again, but his eyes didn't have the laughter or shine they usually did. He looked almost angry. "Of course you are," he said, his tone sarcastic and harsh. He immediately stood up, almost knocking over his chair. Then he walked straight out the door.

Kyle looked at me, his brow furrowed. "What's with him?" he asked.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't have one. I shrugged instead. "I'm going to go talk to him. You just wait here."

As I walked out the door, I saw Kenny smoking a cigarette. He seemed to be inhaling more nicotine than oxygen with the speed he was going. "Dude, you okay?"

He smiled wide. "Yeah, of course!" he answered, his voice a little over-the-top enthusiastic.

"Come on, man," I said, a little exasperated. I hated how he could never just be upfront. He had to try to pass it off like nothing was going on. It was always hard to figure out what was happening with him, because he refused to talk about it.

His smile fell and he threw his cigarette on the ground. He lit a new one before he'd even put the other on out with his shoe. "Are you seriously thinking about staying? For that guy?"

I didn't know how to answer. "I mean, not only because of Kyle. I'm just not sure it's a great plan. What if I hate that town?"

Kenny shot me a glare. "Yesterday, you were leaving. Today, you're having doubts. Only one thing has changed."

I looked at him. "So what if I postpone moving away for Kyle? He only just came back into my life, why would I walk out now?"

Kenny laughed a little. "So you're doing this so that you don't upset him? The guy who just waltzes in and out of lives like it doesn't mean anything? And then barely apologizes to you, and doesn't even bother apologizing to me?"

"What, do you want him to apologize to you?" I asked, a little desperately. "I can give you guys some time to talk if you want."

Kenny ran his fingers through his messy hair, looking so frustrated. It felt like if I touched him, I would prick my fingers on thorns. "No, that's not it, I don't give a shit about that," he replied, his voice fast and his eyes flitting around. He took another quick and deep drag from his cigarette. "People never worry about hurting me, you really think that's the problem?"

"Then what is the problem?" I asked, raising my voice a little.

Kenny turned sharply to look at me. "It's what he did to you!" he answered, throwing his arms down, his volume matching mine.

"But I've forgiven him!" I replied. I didn't understand. My thoughts were moving at a hundred miles an hour, trying to decipher this. I just didn't get it. "It's not your job to be mad for me!"

"You always forgive him!" Kenny blurted out, yelling this time. He pointed at me, as though he was accusing me of something. I guess he was. "You're always just so happy to forgive and forget!"

"So that's your issue here?" I shouted. "That I'm forgiving?"

"Yeah!" he shouted back, glaring at me. "He fucks up, I have to clean up his mess, and you forgive him the second he shows up again! It's always the same fucking story with you two!"

"That's none of your business!" I replied, so angry I started shaking. I hated it when people treated me like this, like they had some sort of say in what I do.

"Of course it is! I care about you!" Kenny yelled, looking ready to hit someone. There was a pause as he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and calmed down a bit. When he looked at me again, his eyes were intense, insistent. "I don't trust him, Stan. He's reckless and he's selfish and he always has been."

I thought about what he'd said earlier that had confused me so much. I'm not in the habit of caring about people who don't care about me. Maybe he hadn't really meant that exactly. Maybe he'd meant he's not in the habit of caring about people who don't care about you. Because he was right, people never worried about hurting him, so he had to not care about that. But he seemed extremely protective of me.

"Kyle's my best friend," I replied. "Can't you just be happy he's back?"

Kenny's eyes filled with anger. I'd never seen him look so mad. "Really? He's your best friend? Then why'd he leave?"

"I-" I started, but I had no idea what I was going to say. Kenny interrupted me anyway.

"Where was he? Was he there, listening to you vent about how abandoned you feel? Did he pick up the phone at three in the morning when you were drunk and crying? Did he make sure to always be there when you needed him?"

I felt a little guilty, hearing all the times Kenny had come through for me and realizing how little I had appreciated it. "I never asked you to do any of that," I said quietly.

"No, of course you didn't, because you didn't fucking have to!" Kenny replied, raising his voice again. It seemed like he'd only managed to calm himself down for a short amount of time. "But I did it anyway, because that's what you're supposed to fucking do for people you care about!"

"Kenny, I-" I said, but he stopped me.

"Just go have fun with your best friend," Kenny spat at me. Then he sighed, and the anger faded. He just looked kind of sad, like he was giving up. "I'll be there when he fucks up again. I always am."

I watched him walk away in the dark, head slumped down. I didn't know what to do.