A/N: Guess who's finished with their exams! So I have to say, I took study breaks just so I could pop open my e-mails and see your reviews/encouragement, and they made my finals period so much better [even when I had to check my grades ..]. Thank you all for being so patient with me and the delays with posting -you're all gems!
Secondly, can I just take a moment to get really sappy about SunFlower Fran? For those who have not had the pleasure of working with her, I have to say she makes the writing experience 10,000x better. To have someone champion in your corner and clean up your thoughts as accurately and consistently as she does is a real blessing. So yah. She's fucking awesome.
Okay, I'm just going to leave a disclaimer and then let yall read on, but take a peek at my quick author's note at the end of this chapter!
Disclaimer: 99.99% of these characters aren't mine. Lua is my cute little 0.01%.
PART III: SWAN
Chapter 24
"It's been five days, Bree," Claire whispers, "She won't move, and she won't let anyone near her."
"She just found out her mother was alive after believing she was dead for over a decade," Bree barks back, "Wouldn't you lie in a ball too?"
"I'm not faulting her, I'm just saying we need to do something," Claire argues, "Quill said she's too weak to carry on like this."
"That girl survived a near six-hour ride with an arrow sticking out of her chest," Bree refutes, "Nothing is keeping her down."
"Maybe if I talk to her again," Claire begins. "She could be more … receptive this time."
"I wouldn't-,"
The moment Claire inches the door open, Bella uses the most powerful brand of her telekinesis to slam it shut. The shove is so forceful that she can hear Claire's body thump against the floor on the other side. Bella would feel bad if it weren't for the fact that she currently feels nothing at all.
It's been like this for three days. She lies on her side facing the door, eyes fixed on the doorknob. She only moves them to blink, not needing to look anywhere else. The first two days of her being in the room, she'd been unconscious; the mere shock and emotional stress she'd endured had kept her asleep. On the third day, she awoke with a marked change of emotion. She didn't feel shocked or pained –she was furious. Peter was thankfully able to slip out of the room before Bella released her rage in a telekinetic storm. The room around her was completely destroyed, falling victim to her volatile emotions. No one tried to speak to her again that day, but the following day the rotation of attempters began. One by one, Bella evicted them from the room with a shove from her mind.
She's practically wasting away. It's been days since she's last eaten, and because of this, days since she's used a lavatory. Her skin burns from being in constant contact with the mattress, but she can't motivate herself to move. She's also in a considerable amount of physical pain. As she's been refusing treatment from the Ateara twins, she's left to feel the full extent of her injuries. Furthermore, her first fit of anger resulted in aggravating her wounds. All this is of no consequence to her. She's not going to do anything to right the matter, so she accepts the stinging and throbbing of her injuries.
The next person to approach the door isn't even permitted to turn the doorknob. By their light steps, she knows it's either Alice or Charlotte, neither of whom she wants to face. She hasn't the energy to confront Charlotte and Alice ...
Bella has no words for her. She can now fully understand how Edward had felt the moment he learned that everything he'd been told was a lie. It was like looking toward the sky and believing the moon to be white, only to find out that it bleeds red at its core. She can't wrap her mind around it. How could Alice have lied to her face so abhorrently? Not only had she concealed her mother from her, but she'd also allowed Bella to continue thinking that Esme was dead. Who would knowingly keep a mother and child separated that way?
Then again, what mother would abandon her child?
The need to cry rises in Bella's chest, and she's barely able to tame it. Instead, she focuses on another need.
The need to leave.
As quietly as possible, she telekinetically shifts the armoire to block the door. She then musters the strength to slide her feet to the ground, and push herself to stand. If it weren't for her bedpost, she surely would have fallen. Her wounds protest, alerting her to how foolish she's behaving. Ignoring the pain, she staggers over to the open window and peeks outside.
Night has come. The only lights that illuminate the way to the forest are three scattered lanterns. After donning a cloak around her wings, she wedges herself into the window frame and climbs out.
She lands on her knees, her breath immediately leaving her at the intensity of her pain. Lua, seeing that her companion is bowed over in discomfort, begins to squawk loudly.
"No, no," Bella rasps, her first words in days, "Quiet, Lua."
The bird opens her beak to chirp once more, but Bella's glare silences that notion.
The pain of her fall is the worst of her travels. From there on, she limps on unsure legs into the forest. She doesn't make it very far due to her exhaustion; however, it's far enough for her to cry unheard.
She sinks to the ground, returning to her already scraped knees. She can't bend over due to her injuries, so she buries her face in her palms. There, in the black of the forest, Bella cries for her loss.
She mourns the loss of her mother, her childhood, and autonomy over her life. In this moment, she doesn't feel like a Guardian, but a pawn in a larger scheme of fate. Had any choices ever been hers, or is she following a path already cleared for her? Does she have any value or is she merely an agent to be used at someone else's expense? She realizes that up until now, she has been living for everyone but herself. In the cage, she had been living for Aro. In Cullenia, she had been living for the Cullens. Traveling back, she had been living for Seth.
When can she live without the expectation of giving up her life for others?
She beats her hands against the ground, palms meeting the earth beneath her, and gripping onto the dirt as if it will subdue some of her anguish. Slowly, her control over her emotions leaves her, along with an outflow of power that causes the surrounding trees to groan. Stones in an assortment of sizes levitate until they're level with her line of vision, and the mere sight of them causes her to silence. The air grows still. The only sounds she hears are of her labored breaths and the racing pump of her heart. Not a breath later, her eyes roll to the back of her head, and she slumps to the ground.
Bella experiences what can only be explained as an out of body experience. She's back in her recurring nightmare, submerged in the sea, except everything feels uncannily real. Every drop of salt water is apparent to her as they trickle from her forehead to her lips. In the distance, Alec stands at the window, this time, turned to face her. With a pale hand, he beckons her forward.
Instead of swimming toward him, rolls of waves carry her to land. In seconds, she's upon the grainy shore of Volturia Castle, peering up at the room in which she'd been held captive. Gracefully, Alec leaps from the window and lands before her.
"You made it," he says to her.
Bella is thoroughly confused, "You're in my dream?
"It's actually a mental channel," he corrects, "Although it is rather dreamlike …"
"How did we get here?" Bella asks, "Did you do this?"
He nods, "I've been trying to establish a connection to you in your dreams, but you haven't maintained it. This is the first time it has worked."
"That's why it kept reoccurring?" Bella guesses before questioning, "How did you know?"
"The people here at Ida Flor are very knowledgeable about the Guardian mythologies," Alec answers, "But that's not important right now. I brought you here because I needed to tell you that I'm coming."
"To Forxx?" Bella breathes excitedly, but then remembers the chaotic state of the nation, "You can't travel here alone."
"I won't, I'll have help," he assures her, "But I need you to carry on for me a little longer. I now know that you've been handling the Guardian duty alone, Bella, and I'm so sorry it took me this long to learn. From now on, I'll help you as much as I can. In the meantime, you need to be strong for the both of us."
Bella shakes her hand, "You've missed so much, Alec. I'm not strong at all."
"You're stronger than you know," he insists, "Especially now that you've fully transformed."
"Fully transformed?" Bella questions, "What does that mean?"
"Your back," he motions to her, "Hasn't your insignia changed? Don't you feel a difference in your powers? We're fully Guardians now, Bella."
"Why does everyone have the answers except for me?" Bella nearly screams, "You need to come back, Alec. I can't keep doing this on my own."
"I can't make it back, not as yet," he shakes his head solemnly, "But look around you, Bella, you've never been alone."
She wakes with a gasp, eyes wide and trained on the rising sun. Short pants pass through her lips as she tries to regain control of her breathing. The conversation should have only taken minutes, but it seems that hours had passed with her in the forest. With chilled limbs, she attempts to sit. If she'd known that she'd be having a conversation with Alec in another dimension, she would have just stayed in her bed. She groans as her body radiates with pain.
"Why can you never stay where you're told?" Bella hears the grumble of a familiar voice.
"Because then you'd lose interest in me," she replies with a hoarse chuckle.
Though Jacob is clearly agitated, there is a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Swiftly, he ducks down and scoops Bella into his arms. Their walk back to the Whitlock's cabin is silent. Exhausted from the previous night, Bella allows the rhythm of his steps to lull her into a light sleep. The heat of his skin radiates through his tunic, warming away the chill of the air. She knows they've reached the house by the sound of Alice's exclamation.
"Where was she?" Alice gasps. "Is she harmed?"
"No further than what you've already caused," Jacob grouses.
Bella doesn't open her eyes to see, but she can imagine the expression on Alice's face is not pleasant.
"Thank you, Jacob," Jasper says tersely, "Please take her to her room."
"Are you sure this is the best place for her?" he asks, "If I were kept in a houseful of people who had lied so grievously to me, I would escape to the forest too."
"No one asked for your input," Alice bites, "Put her down."
"She needs to see Rosalie," Jacob sighs, "Her wounds have reopened. Perhaps it would be better for her to stay at my estate and receive treatment."
"I knew you would suggest that," Alice laughs without humor, "I do not trust your intentions with her."
"I truthfully don't care for your opinion of me," Bella can feel Jacob shrug as he says this.
"You insolent-,"
"Mom," Peter stops her, "You've done enough. She doesn't want to be around us, and we can't force her."
"Peter is right," Jasper agrees, "She needs time. Go ahead, Jacob. I'll be around in a few days to see how she's faring."
"Thank you," Bella whispers to Jacob as soon as she's sure they've exited the cabin. "You've done more for me than I can ever repay."
"I don't want compensation," Jacob objects.
"Then why defend me so steadfastly?" she asks.
"Because you're my queen," he answers simply.
And for some reason, this answer is enough for her.
~SWAN~
Many hours later, Bella awakes in a much more comfortable setting than she had earlier. Eyes closed, she basks in the warmth and plushness of her bed, and the knowledge that she is no longer at the Whitlock residence. Futilely, she also tries to reestablish a connection with Alec although she's still thoroughly confused as to the logistics of their mental conversation. Could they activate it at any time? Does one of them have to be sleeping? Did it only last for a limited time? With a sigh, she adds these questions to her long formed list, and finally opens her eyes.
She takes in a sharp breath at the sight of Edward perched less than a foot away from her. He looks at her unabashedly, as if she hadn't just caught him surveying her whilst she slept. Even in the darkness of the room she can detect his perturbed expression. Sluggishly, she brings herself to a sitting position, making sure not to exacerbate her newly stitched wounds. When she finally settles, she holds his gaze, waiting for him to speak.
"Did you lie about your mother too?" Edward asks.
Bella grits her teeth, as she orders, "Get out."
He flinches at her tone, but carries on, "I suppose you didn't."
"This certainly defeats your wish to never speak to me again," Bella notes with bitterness.
"I told you I didn't mean that," Edward rebuts.
"The heat of the moment can prompt many empty words," Bella responds.
"They were not empty," Edward denies.
"Why are you here, Edward?" Bella sighs, already tired from the encounter. Her emotional stability is not equipped to handle any more of his jibes. "I'm of no use to you anymore."
"Use?" Edward echoes, "You think I want to use you?"
"Everyone else does," Bella shrugs, "What other reason would you have for staying with me?"
"You truly don't get it do you?" he laughs. The sound comes out more incredulous than humorous, "Bella, I can't get you out of my mind."
The room falls silent.
With his emerald stare meeting her obsidian, they hold each other's gaze unwaveringly. It's as if they're seeing each other anew; as if one born during an eclipse is finally being exposed to the sun. No longer are they shrouded in the darkness of lies meant to preserve them, nor do they play coy about the tempest of emotions between them. For the first time since meeting him, Bella can say that Edward sees her for who she is. Despite revealing her most frightening qualities, he still sits here with an almost tangible yearning.
They're in a taunting orbit; he gravitates toward her, not of his own volition, but because it is how nature demands. She moves similarly, leaning forward in response to his pull. In the universe, this would be fatal. The collision of the sun and moon would mean combustion of catastrophic proportions. And yet, neither one of them deviates from their paths; they draw nearer until they're only an inch apart. Bella can feel Edward's breaths against her lips, and she greedily drinks them in. Her body thrums in anticipation of his kiss, and as the seconds pass, she wonders why Edward hasn't closed the gap. She knows she could do it herself, but she needs the affirmation. She needs him to seek her again so that she knows he is genuine in his feelings for her.
"I won't hurt you again," Bella murmurs, "I … my absorption is in control."
Edward chuckles, his lips nearly brushing hers with the movement, "I'm not worried about the physical pain you can inflict on me."
"I'll never lie to you again," she tells him, realizing his fears, "I swear on my life to you."
"I believe you," he breathes, "It still hurts, but I believe you."
"You don't have to trust me immediately," Bella reaches forward with a shaking hand and grips his fingers. An intense heat emanates from his skin. "I can give you time."
"I do believe you," he insists, "Deep inside of me I know that everything you did was for my family, but it still doesn't take away from the jarring realization that there is an entire part of your life that I was not privy to. But I will heal, and I will trust you again fully."
"I'll be here until then," Bella assures. "I am truly sorry."
"I know," he nuzzles his nose to hers, "Don't leave me again, Bella. In Lunaria …"
"I had to, Edward," she maintains.
"My head knew that," he nods, "But my heart was a different story."
"And what do they tell you now?" she asks.
"Both tell me to kiss you," he whispers.
Bella's breath stutters as she says, "Listen to them."
He needs no further prompting. Steadily, he leans forward and presses his lips to hers. This kiss is different to their first. Whereas his lips had met hers in a fired collision that day on the beach, this time, it begins gently. Soft skin brushes against soft skin, gentler than a whisper. Once they gain more confidence, the pressure increases, Bella suckling Edward's top lip. His hum of contentment breaks through the quiet of the night. He breaks her tight grip on his hand so that he can entangle is fingers in her hair. His hold is gentle but firm, guiding her so that their mouths can mesh seamlessly.
She's intoxicated. His kisses are sweeter and headier than any liquor she's ever experienced. The cloth of his tunic is soon met with her fingers as she pulls him closer. She ignores the pain that agitates at the movement because she'd bare a thousand arrow wounds if it means she can always be with Edward like this. Something between them swells, and thankfully, it isn't Bella's absorption. Though initially languid and measured, the kisses turn frantic, quickly spiraling into a hungered frenzy. Her hands travel to the nape of his hair, fisting the short strands as she gets her fill of him. His move as well, leaving her hair to slip to her waist and bring her towards him.
Reality comes crashing in when he squeezes her flesh. A muffled cry leaves her as Bella snaps backward, gasping from the pain. Edward's eyes are filled with remorse,
"Bella, I'm so sorry," he rushes, "I forgot-,"
"No, please don't apologize," she shakes her head, her voice tight from discomfort, "I keep underestimating the extent my wounds."
"I actually have to agree with you," Edward says as a look of awe crosses his face, "Do you understand how incredible it is that you survived? You should have died."
"The arrows didn't hit any vital organs," Bella argues, "I could have bled out, but a recovery such as that isn't completely unheard of."
"You don't remember anything of your arrival do you?" Edward shakes his head in disbelief. "We knew you weren't coherent, but we weren't sure how much you processed."
"I was awake?" This is news to Bella. She only remembers waking up in the Whitlock's cabin.
Edward nods, "As soon as Jacob began lowering you from your horse you woke up screaming." Edward flinches as he recalls, "It was apparent you were in agony, and it's understandable why. When he cut away the back of your tunic we saw that the arrows had pierced through two places in your insignia."
Bella squints her eyes in confusion, "But you know that the insignia on my shoulder is fake …"
She stops as she realizes what she's saying. The placement of the arrows, one to the center of her chest and one to her side, meant that her true insignia had been pierced. Whereas before, when she'd simply had the etchings down her spine, she would have been unharmed; now that her back is covered with the mark, she had more area for vulnerability. And yet somehow, though the arrows had traveled all the way through her body, she had lived. Such damage to the insignia would mean a sure death for others.
"I survived," Bella whispers, mostly to herself. "Why did I survive?"
"Because you're the Guardian," Edward answers, "I didn't believe it at first, but I'm starting to. The insignia is the epicenter of our power. You must be truly powerful to survive those injuries."
"Do you think that Alec-," Bella begins when she's suddenly struck with her memory, "Alec contacted me!"
It is now Edward's turn to be confused, "He sent mail?"
"No, in my head," Bella replies excitedly, "I don't know how to explain it, but we have a mental connection. He said that we're fully Guardians now. That must explain why I didn't succumb to my wounds."
"This all sounds so bizarre," Edward admits, "What else did he tell you? Can you contact him again?"
"He said he has help and he'll return as soon as he can," Bella summarizes before frowning, "I can't control our connection yet. It's all so new."
"Don't feel pressured," Edward comforts, "You're already doing the best you can. Right now it's important that you rest."
"I am rather tired," Bella yawns as emphasis, "When I wake up, will you be gone?"
Edward presses a kiss to her forehead, "I don't plan on ever leaving your side."
~SWAN~
The tick of the grandfather clock is akin to a hammer beating against a nail in Bella's mind. She doesn't flinch, but she stares down the antique with ire. How could something so beautiful grate on her last nerve? She flickers her eyes to the rest of the room, taking in its decadence; Jacob had understated his role in the Forxx community. Not only is his family one of the native founders of L'Apush, but his father is also one of the representative council members. Their joint income and status means that Jacob lives a rather lavish life by the capital's standards. His home is comprised of several cabins linked together, each of them holding space for his family members and a couple designated for group meetings. Bella sits in the main cabin, rigidly perched on the end of a wooden chair. Her fisted hand rests atop a rosewood table, the red-brown tint a reminder of Jacob's fur. Maybe she should call for him. She knows he'll come and get her the moment she beckons, but she's trying not to be too dependent. He'd already opened up his home to her and allowed this meeting to take place. Knowing that she can't avoid this encounter much longer, she turns her eyes back to the pair seated in front of her.
Bile hits the back of Bella's throat as she looks between Carlisle and Esme Masen. The revulsion she feels for them is almost consuming. On the one hand, there is her mother, whom she'd believed to be dead for over a decade. Words can't begin to explain the betrayal and hurt that Bella feels every time she looks at her, let alone the shock. The last image she had of her mother was of her youthful face, slack from unconsciousness as the guard carried her out. A guard she's coming to realize was Carlisle.
She can admit that her feelings for Carlisle have changed, but definitely not for the better. Whereas before she had been wary of his mysteriousness, now she outright resents him. For the years Bella had been grieving the loss of her mother, Carlisle had been warming Esme's bed. Had it been amusing to him? When Carlisle saw Bella in the Cullen Castle, did he take entertainment from the fact that Bella was so oblivious?
Angrily, Bella scrapes back her chair as she pushes away from the table. The more she thinks on how long she'd been lied to the more her fury swells. She can't do this.
"Isa," Esme's voice breaks through to her, "Please. At least let us explain."
"I owe you nothing," Bella bites back without hesitation.
"You're right, you certainly don't," Carlisle agrees. Bella hates the calmness of his voice, "But we're hoping you'll give us a chance."
"No matter the explanation, what you've done is unforgivable," Bella tells them.
"It is," Esme says, her voice trembling with emotion, "But it doesn't mean I'll ever give up on you."
"Is that so?" Bella laughs bitterly, "I wouldn't think abandoning me would be the way to show it."
"I didn't abandon you," Esme cries, "I stayed away for your safety and mine."
"For twelve years?" Bella scoffs, "You couldn't have contacted me once in twelve years? That's ecaré."
"All right, let's calm ourselves," Carlisle intervenes, "Bella, if you will allow, I can explain everything. Then you can make your judgments."
Bella isn't pleased, but she nods regardless.
"There are certain reoccurring elements to the legacy of the Guardians. Not only are the Guardians reincarnated, but also a Seer is appointed to help with the maintaining of order. While the Cullen and Volturi family have historically been the Guardians, the Brandon family has sired generations upon generations of Seers."
"Alice's lineage," Bella guesses.
"Yes," Carlisle nods before revealing, "And my lineage as well."
Bella can hardly keep track of all the times she's been shocked in the past few days, but this is certainly one of them.
"Alice and I are only half-siblings," he shares, "We have the same mother, Mary Brandon, but different fathers. Alice chose to carry our mother's maiden name, but I maintained my father's surname, hence my last name being Masen. My father passed when I was only two years old, but by the time I was four, Mary was betrothed to Sir Waylon and pregnant with Alice. We grew up together until I turned eighteen and left to train with the Cullenian army. Sir Waylon was very close to the Forxx crown, which helped facilitate the relationship between Esme and Alice. The two were inseparable growing up, and when Esme married Aro, I didn't know how they would last being apart from one another.
But they managed. Esme was happily married to Aro, and Alice frequently visited the castle. She spent a lot of time with Esme and Jane, and constantly kept Esme abreast of her visions."
"A part of me was always skeptical about Alice's visions," Esme continues, her voice quiet and unsure, "They have a tendency to pan out in a way you never expect, and Alice certainly wasn't infallible. This is why, when Alice came to me with a vision only months into my marriage, I didn't take much heed in her words. I had heard about the story of the Guardians –most people hear about them as whispered myths over campfires –but I never truly believed. So when Alice told me, before I had even conceived you, that you would be a Guardian, I disregarded her words. It was only when you came out with the odd markings on your back that I knew she'd been right. I didn't know why I needed to hide the fact, but I listened to her and created the fake insignia on your shoulder."
"That was the first of many visions," Carlisle takes over, "Two years later, in Esme's twentieth year, Alice had another. In it, she saw Aro becoming the tyrant he is and bringing great bloodshed to our nations. Esme, unable to stand at his side, would become defiant –rebellious even. Aro would first use you as a means of taming her, but eventually, he would kill the two of you to secure his power and extinguish any opposition."
"Again, I denied Alice's vision," Esme admits with shame, "I loved your father deeply, and I was very happy in Volturia. Since she couldn't get through to me, Alice sent Carlisle to the castle to work as a guard so that he could watch out for me. Carlisle had left for the reserves before I'd met Aro so he could infiltrate without Aro realizing his relation to Alice. Five years later, I finally began to see for myself just how despicable Aro was. It started with small things. He'd start giving prisoners harsher punishments and then worked up to draining them himself. Rarely a month would pass without him killing someone with his bare hands.
I had to leave, and I was taking you and Jane with me. Alice, Carlisle, Jasper, and I had it all planned. We would escape in the night and seek refuge in Cullenia. However, everything went terribly wrong that one night."
Bella flinches automatically as she recalls the way Aro's hand had crumpled Esme.
"Yes," Esme murmurs, "It was terrible. Somehow, Aro had gotten hold of one of my plea letters to King Felix. I hadn't mentioned Alice or Carlisle's names for their safety, and for that, I am very glad because Aro surely would have wanted them dead as well. Aro gave the order for my execution and had come to my bedroom to oversee my being taken into custody. When he raised his hand to you …"
Esme stops, her bright orange eyes immediately welling with tears. She lifts a hand to her mouth to stifle her tears, but her sob escapes through her fingers. Bella hates to admit it, but the sound rips through her. Her own black eyes become glossed over as she fights to remain unaffected.
"Thankfully, Aro gave me the order to ensure she didn't wake," Carlisle begins again, wrapping an arm around a distraught Esme. His touch causes her to quiet. "Believe it or not, there is a part of him that loved her, and I don't believe he could physically do the deed himself. I made a show of taking her to the execution house and stringing the gallows. In reality, I buried her under piles of hay and then reported to Aro. After he had believed my accounts, I returned to Esme in the early hours of the morning, and secured a means of travel for her on the back of a livestock cart."
"I wasn't awake for any of this," Esme speaks, having regained her control, "I woke up in the Whitlock's cabin the next day completely hysterical. I wanted to go back for you and Jane, and we even started planning how to sneak you out of the castle, but every plan of action we created, Alice's visions ended in the same way. Aro would hunt us down and kill us. He would never rest with you missing."
"So you left me? That's it?" Bella asks, her voice hoarse, "You allowed me to think you were dead?"
"I wanted to come for you every single day," Esme insists with fervor, "There was no way for us both to disappear, and once you were being kept in isolation it then became impossible for us to get you out of the castle."
"You knew I was caged?" Bella finally cries, losing the battle over maintaining her composure, "You knew your child was being imprisoned, and you let it happen!"
"At least I knew you were alive!" Esme exclaims, "Any other alternative meant you being killed, and I would die before I let that happen."
"You did die," Bella begins to sob, "You died to me. I will never forgive you for this."
She rises from her seat, her still tender wounds mildly throbbing as she makes her way to stand. She faces the grandfather clock once more and counts its ticks to help calm her breathing. She now understands more than anything how Edward must have felt to have his world ripped from beneath him, but to a greater extent.
Nothing in her world had ever been hers. Behind every moment was an intricate web of scheming and planning, secrets and deception. All those nights she cried herself to sleep in her cage, lying in a pool of her tears and sometimes vomit, were for nothing. Hundreds of miles away, her mother was alive. She can't believe she's been in the dark for so long, and she doesn't want to spend another moment not knowing everything that happened.
"Keep going," Bella demands with a gravelly tone. She doesn't turn around to face the two at the table, but she still wants to hear.
"Very well," Carlisle murmurs, "Alice visited Volturia to pay her respects. Aro's story was that Esme had died of a sudden illness. This came at a time not too long after King Charles' death, so Forxx wasn't in a position to contradict him, even if the people were unbelieving. At the castle, Alice was able to meet with Jane for the last time."
"It was the day everything became clear," Alice sounds from the room's entrance.
Bella spins around to face the short-statured woman. Once again, she's filled with anger at the sight of her. The only reason Bella refrains from telekinetically pushing her from the room is that she wants answers.
"The moment I laid eyes on Jane I had a vision," Alice continues, seeing that she hasn't been rejected, "She would be key in helping to free you, and inadvertently saving our nations. I saw her drawing close to Sulpicia and Aro so that she could learn of Aro's plans to declare war against the Cullens. I envisioned her plunging the knife into your insignia, and foresaw you going to Cullenia to protect the Cullens. The finer details weren't there, but I saw all I needed to know to put things into action. I told Jane what she had to do, and having witnessed my abilities before, she listened."
"Did Jane know Esme was alive?" Bella asks unsurely. She doesn't know if she'll recover if she finds out her sister lied to her about this as well.
"No, I didn't tell her," Alice shakes her head, "If anyone knew that Esme was alive, it would have meant immediate danger."
"So only you, Jasper, and Carlisle knew?" Bella verifies.
Alice nods, "Yes."
"And none of you thought it pertinent to tell me when you received me from the Pylae?" Bella presses, asking the question that had been gnawing at her pertaining to Alice's involvement. Never mind the fact that Alice's visions seemed to be the guiding factor of the mayhem in her life, but there had been a time when Alice could have told her. "Better yet, none of you thought to tell me about these plans for my life? Do you know how it would have saved me to know I was meant for more than that blasted cage?"
"It wasn't the right time-," Alice begins.
"In those twelve years of my solitude, of my sadness, there was no time that was right?" Bella bellows with disbelief.
"It is never that simple," Alice cries out, "No one understands the burden that comes with the things I see. Do you think I wanted to tell my best friend that her husband would slaughter her? Or perhaps you think it pleased me to split a mother from her child? Nothing is straightforward, Bella. If you had known about your powers too soon, there's a great possibility that you would have ended up as tyrannical as Aro."
All of Bella's air leaves her. She's barely able to choke out her next word, "What?"
"You've noticed it, haven't you?" Alice raises a knowing brow, "The thirst. You drain one person's ability, and then you yearn for another. You lay your hands on their skin, and you don't want to take their power alone –you want their life; the full payment. Tell me I'm lying."
"You know nothing …" Bella starts.
"When I have visions, I am not merely a bystander," Alice informs her, "I feel things. I've felt your thirst."
"Then you should know that every time the urge comes, I stop," Bella tells her.
"I do know that Bella," Alice assures, "I honestly don't believe you to be evil. However, despite your formidability, you would have been Aro's replica had you learned of your power sooner than you did. Something in your life changed between you leaving the Pylae and now for you to have the heart to resist. All I knew after you came out of the Pylae was that it was time for you to learn about your role as the Guardian, and that it was essential for you to go to Cullenia. If you had known about your mother, you wouldn't have gone. It wasvital to your fate."
Fate, Bella thinks. The word sounds empty to her.
Something in your life changed for you to have the heart to resist now.
For once, something isn't a mystery to Bella. She knows exactly what it was that allowed her to stay grounded. Yes, she'd been able to stay sane during her years of imprisonment, but once she'd escaped, she'd been only a shell of a person. She had no confidence, no self-respect, and didn't even think herself deserving or capable of love.
Now, all of that has changed. And while she has been responsible for resolving her own self-image problems as well as gaining confidence and respect, there is something else that allowed her to harness the love to combat the evil within her.
Or rather, there is someone else.
"Edward," Bella murmurs.
"Pardon?" Alice asks.
Tears finally spill from Bella's eyes as she brings a shaking hand to her mouth. The reality of her past comes crashing down on her in a mess of unfixable shards. But if there is one thing she's sure about, it's her future with Edward. She wants him now, and she wants him forever. She needs to see him.
"Edward," Bella repeats, not even bothering to explain herself as she flees from the room.
She doesn't slow as she races out of the cabin. The Cullen's have been staying in another installment within Jacob's compound, so she quickly sprints through the cold. Once there, she beats frantically against his cabin door. She can't explain her urgency other than the overwhelming need to see him –to tell him. When the door opens, she doesn't need more than a second to see that he's standing on the other side. They're a mess of limbs as she falls into his arms, the emotions of her day spilling out of her.
"What happened?" Edward demands to know, pulling her away from him so he can see her face. He dips his head so their eyes can meet, and tenderly brushes back her hair. "Tell me what I can do?"
"You already did it," she sniffles.
"Did what?" Edward asks in confusion, "Did I upset you?"
"No," Bella shakes her head, "You changed me."
Edward appears even more confounded than before, "I don't understand what you're saying."
"I'm saying something that I should have said a long time ago," Bella clarifies as she lays a gentle hand to his cheek. "I love you, Edward."
A/N: At this point in the story, nothing should reaaallly be a mystery anymore. This was the big clarification chapter, so if yall still have questions pertaining to what has passed (and not what will happen) then I'd be glad to respond to your reviews / PMs. I hope that I've been clear enough in my explaining (and consistent enough in my plotline ..) thus far.
Also for those of you who are in that fandom, when Bella says, "You know nothing ..." I wanted so badly to put in captions "Jon Snow." But I held back. So you're very welcome.
"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness." -Marianne Williamson
