unforeseen
(Original notes: N/A, a lot of rambling)
Originally written February 9th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. A lot of outdated language and other stuff I've grown past in the past couple of years. Not my favorite but still. (Also some scenes are viewer discretion advised.)
This was completely unforeseen.
When Juniper had arrived in Castelia City this morning, she expected to gather a jittery Fennel in her arms and take her to a diner for some quick coffee and pancakes before their conference. They would ease each other's fears, gossip a little about each other's neighbors, and pick up Fennel's cousin and fellow colleague, Professor Sycamore, along the way to Castelia University, where the conference would be held. And as promised a couple of days ago, Juniper would deny any advances that Sycamore could muster from his suave lips.
But there were no worries on that, for when Juniper stepped off the ferry, she realized that the two men on both sides of Fennel were her company. Sycamore, whose tall, whiskery self had arrived earlier than expected, couldn't control his laughter as he kept squeezing his cousin around her chest area and telling her what big, pretty boobies she had. Glad she was still at a far distance but annoyed that she could hear his comments, Juniper would've clocked him in the face for harassment if she didn't know better that Sycamore was just as innocent (and admittedly eccentric) as Fennel was. For now she would just keep a silent eye on Sycamore, and in the event he did pose as a threat to his cousin, he would definitely feel her wrath.
When she noticed that the other man was Colress, however, she almost dropped her luggage in the water. How could this man, who had just been released from prison only a few short months ago, have the nerve to still show his face in public without feeling the least bit ashamed or ostracized? Even worse, how could Fennel never seem to get tired of his constant meddling? If he was with Fennel this morning instead of tinkering with his kitchen appliances, he had to be scheming something.
Yet not wanting to upset Fennel just hours before her speech, Juniper kept her suspicions to herself and called out to her girlfriend in a cheery voice. As expected, Fennel turned around and squealed, racing to give the brunette a long hug and kiss. As unexpected, Sycamore and Colress followed her, but Sycamore was holding the blond scientist in such a comfortable bridal style position as he ran that Juniper actually did drop her luggage in the water this time. The wheely suitcase was safe and dry, but the two other suitcases plopped in the water and released a stream of rather unprofessional undergarments. Juniper facepalmed, Fennel gasped, and as Sycamore peered into the water, still holding Colress in his arms, he pointed to a lacy push-up bra and murmured, "Professor, I hope those weren't for dearest Eddie. They're too small."
The dysfunction was on.
After that embarrassing ordeal, Juniper focused solely on Fennel and the conference. It wasn't often that the doctor dressed formally for anything, so she looked adorable in her lavender dress and bolero as she delivered her speech to the audience with minimum discomfort. Juniper was proud of her. So proud of her that when neither of them was onstage, the brunette refused to acknowledge their male companions stuffing their pockets with free breadsticks. There was no need to make a scene on such a memorable night, especially around highly-esteemed colleagues, but it was irksome nonetheless. There was no point in taking free food home when the four of them were going out to a real restaurant afterwards.
Yes, the four of them. Before she knew it, the four of them were at said restaurant, dining on steak and wine. It was like a bad setup of a sitcom that she and Fennel watched. Three doctors and and an engineer researcher have dinner at a restaurant… Juniper thought with a snort, though she knew very well that Colress wasn't their only problem. Sycamore was a really nice man, as she had claimed herself to Fennel two days ago, but if she thought Colress acted like he was seven, then Sycamore acted like he was five. Despite their appearances the two men could've been brothers as neither one of them had an ounce of decorum in their beings. Juniper was sure she felt a blood vessel somewhere as Sycamore, who had no qualms about Colress's squeaky boots resting on his lap, pulled out a sock puppet from his labcoat. "Colress, I know you are a reform man from prison, so I want you to meet Monsieur Jean- Claude Van Danish," he introduced, wiggling the one-eyed sock puppet with his hand. "My dearest friend, Lizzie, has made some mistakes and now serves time in the big house with his depression. On visiting days me and Monsieur Van Danish go and cheer him up. Maybe when he is released, you two should meet. Two reform men, so lovely, yes?"
Colress nodded, looking disinterested. Sycamore also nodded, taking a sip of wine. "And you say your old boss was running from the law. Can he not be reformed as well?"
"No, my old boss is a psychotic son of a bitch. He needs to be locked up and observed for science," Colress said nonchalantly. "You wouldn't like him."
"Ah, what a shame."
Juniper refused to take the taunting bait, knowing too well that Ghetsis was on a completely different level of criminal. She allowed them to continue conversing with each other while she and Fennel took turns feeding each other, but as time passed the men's conversation became more and more bizarre. Sycamore was a sloppy drunk, and Colress was just obnoxious, so an already-obnoxious scientist trying to silence a sloppy drunk was impossible. The professor was spilling the beans on every aspect of his life from sex to science, and he was even making Colress uncomfortable. He had sex with forty women in 1999 until he learned he had chlamydia, and thereafter he told all forty women that he had 'infected their innocent pumpkins'. Monsieur Van Danish had one eye because he ate its button after a lost bet in 2005. He spent his last fifty this week on the newest Grand Theft Auto, and he was left to scavenge his trash cans for leftover scraps.
And he liked sucking toes, as he demonstrated by pulling off one of Colress's boots and socks off and placing his mouth over the big toe. It was disgusting. The people around them began to watch and casually take pictures of the scene. All Juniper wanted was to crawl under the table like a little girl and get away from this absolute mess. How professional people could become such monsters so quickly was beyond her comprehension. She continued biting her tongue, not wanting to blow up the situation, but it was so hard. She didn't like Colress, but Sycamore was unnerving him, and it showed. The blond's pasty cheeks were flushed, and he kept trying to take his feet off Sycamore's lap with no success. This was wrong, so overwhelming.
"Augustine!"
Fennel walked over to the other side of the table and smacked her cousin, pushing Colress's feet away from his lap. Ignoring the drool on her fingers, she glared at the flustered professor. "Augustine, you can't do this in public!" she reprimanded, pointing a finger at him. "I didn't want you hitting on Aurea, but I didn't want you moving so quickly on Colress, either! He's not a ladies man!"
"Slow as a Slugma, I must admit."
Sycamore scratched at his stubble, bowing his head in apology. "I am certainly most shameful," he murmured. "I will sincerely apologize when I am sober, Edith."
"Yes, well, I think Colress can take you to Starbucks before you go home. Colress, honey, you can keep him busy for a couple of hours, right?"
"Can do, Ed, but Augie, buddy, you gotta stay away from the feet…"
Fennel nodded and smiled, leading the dumbfounded Juniper away from the table.
"I can't believe this. My world's gone topsy-turvy."
Juniper flopped on top of the floral bedsheets, sighing. After whisking her away to the apartment, Fennel had told her of Colress's plans of double dating. It backfired, since neither he nor Fennel knew of the professor's drunken antics, but it was a sweet yet annoying gesture. Wait, sweet? No. Calling Colress anything similar to 'sweet' was insulting to her, and the brunette buried her face into a pillow. Fennel giggled, patting the woman's rear. "Yeah. Augustine was so gross to do that, though. I mean, what kind of person sucks another's toes unless those toes tasted like peppermint? Or butterscotch?"
She continued patting Juniper's rear. "I'm gonna ask Colress if he puts anything on his feet later, if he doesn't, I'm gonna call Augustine a dirty toe sucker in the morning," she said, cackling. "Mr. Van Danish will be mortified."
"I think we've licked dirtier things than toes, Edith."
They still had time before Colress dropped off Sycamore at the apartment. Fennel sat on Juniper's knees, straddling her, a twinkle in her eyes. No, they weren't toe suckers, just naughty girls that enjoyed their privacy. Juniper moaned as her lover began kissing down her collarbone and fondled her breasts. "Ed, you know we're going to have to take care of them both this week," she murmured. "Can we drop them off at a ball pit and hope someone adopts them?"
"Ahaha, Aurea. Maybe only for a couple of days, if only because Augustine insulted your cute boobies."
"Well, I'm glad you like them, hon."
Fennel nodded, continuing to kiss Juniper down the neck, breasts, belly…and when she reached her boxers, the doctor tugged on them, causing Juniper to buck in excitement. At least their night could end well. "You know, Junicup," Fennel whispered huskily, "I'm sure your kitty tastes better than any set of toes."
"Even mine?"
"Well-"
"MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PAST, AND I'M HOMEBROWN- UHHH-"
"DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO…"
BOOM!
"AUGUSTINE…WHY DID YOU FALL, HOMEBROWN BUDDY?"
"LET'S…LET'S HAVE SEX ON THE BLENDER, COLORS!"
Both women groaned as they collapsed in the bed. It was very obvious that Colress did not take Sycamore to any coffee shop, and they were obnoxiously trashed. Someone would have to stay up all night with them to make sure neither one destroyed the apartment. Fennel was about to take the task, but Juniper stopped her, grabbing the fire poker as she redressed herself. "No, Mom, Dad's got this one…"
