valentine's day

It was the night before Valentine's Day. The apartment was still full but unusually quiet. Juniper sat in the recliner, reading a book. Somewhere Colress and Sycamore played with their new screwdrivers, courtesy of her father, and Fennel was in her study, working on her research with a 'Do not disturb' sign taped on the door. For some reason the doctor was always moodier around Valentine's Day, and Juniper couldn't understand why. In fact, Fennel always avoided her for those two days ever since they started dating six years ago. If it wasn't for the conference a few days earlier, Juniper doubted she'd even be here reading now. But her ferry didn't leave until Sunday, and so she faced a silent weekend with her girlfriend and the kids.

Sighing, she flipped over a page. From the kitchen came Sycamore, a colander over his head and his sock puppet, Monsieur Jean-Claude Van Danish, holding a screwdriver. All over his whiskered face was a substance that looked like the marmalade Fennel bought yesterday. Juniper resisted the urge to punch her fellow professor, instead grabbing a few tissues and rubbing his sideburns. His small yelps were satisfaction enough. "Ow! Hey, uh, Dad- ow! Can I have five dollars? Ow, you're really rough, Dad."

"Five dollars? I gave you five dollars yesterday, Augustine. And the day before that. And when I left you and Colress in the ballpit, I gave you each twenty dollars. If I keep advancing you your allowance, you're going to end up selling your laboratory to pay off your debt."

"I know, but Colress and I wanted to buy some more trading cards, and owww! Daaad!"

"No more trading cards! Go back in the kitchen!"

Sycamore shuffled into the kitchen, head hung low in disappointment. For good Reshiram's sake, he was older than her. How a thirty-five year old professor could act so childish and irresponsible as to ask for an allowance was beyond Juniper's understanding. At least Colress was smart enough to manage his money, his own money from wherever he actually earned money. Rolling her eyes Juniper went back to her book for about another twenty minutes before she heard a faint muffled sound. Someone was knocking. It couldn't have been Fennel's sister, Amanita, from next door, since the girl was out on a fossil expedition with Lenora. Maybe it was Burgh.

When she opened the door, she was knocked off guard. It was an elderly couple, about in their late sixties. Both of them looked out of place in the hallway, as the man wore a three-piece suit and the woman wore pearls above a conservative navy dress. Both of them also had graying, blond hair and looked unfriendly. They didn't look like the type of people that associated with Fennel, and even Juniper felt awkward talking to them. "Good evening," she greeted. "Um, can I help you?"

The man's eyes narrowed, looking like Juniper insulted or disrespected them. He gave a curt nod, pushing his glasses to his face. "My wife and I heard that this is the place where Edward is staying. Might we speak to him?"

"Edward? No, sorry, Sir, there's no Edward here. My girlfriend and I have two kids here, though. You can take them off my hands."

Now the woman looked insulted. No one ever got Juniper's sense of humor, geez. She tapped her cane in frustration, glaring at the brunette. "Now we don't mean disrespect, young lady, but we know this is that whore's apartment. You just tell that whore to stop giving that wretched boy money." Whore? What whore? What wretched boy? Who was Edward? "And tell her to tell him that he's not getting a cent from us to pay her back! He's a disgraceful piece of filth that deserves to rot in poverty for the rest of his life! He's not our son anymore!"

"Certanly not after failing everyone and continuing to associate with that lowlife accountant's daughter!"

These people were demented. Juniper had been taught to never disrespect her elders, but she was about to shut the door on the couple when Colress stormed out of the kitchen. Sycamore was behind him, trying to hold him back and plead with him, but the blond could not be persuaded to do anything besides stepping right up to the old man. Taking a hold of the door, Colress shot what appeared to be an apologetic look to Juniper before shifting his gaze at the couple, glaring at them both. "You're not to disrespect Edith in her own home, Elise…Edward," he said quickly, face flushing.

The older man named Edward scoffed. "I'm glad you know our severed ties are mutual, Edward. It was foolish for you to keep trying to call us your parents, though it's just as foolish you've kept our name instead of fading into obscurity."

"Oh, please. You don't monopolize my name. Much to your utter disappointment, I like the name 'Colress'. But that's discussion for another time. Let's take this conversation elsewhere, shall we? Excuse us, Aurea…"

Shutting the door behind him, Colress left behind a dumbstruck Juniper and Sycamore. Behind her she could hear Sycamore ask himself if all parents acted so rudely. That was a very valid question, but Juniper was surprised that Colress had any relatives at all. They obviously were estranged from him, but there they were, a mother and father, albeit a very arrogant, nasty, mother and father. Judging from Colress's tone of voice, the whore his parents were referring to was Edith, but Juniper didn't understand why the held such malice in their voices for the doctor or how she was involved in Edward's financial problems. (An even more dumbstruck voice crossed Juniper's mind as she realized Colress's first name wasn't Colress.) When she brought the situation to Fennel's attention that night, Fennel just shrugged it off and laughed, but Colress was cross when he came back to the apartment, refusing to talk to anyone. Nothing made sense.

When Juniper woke up the next morning, she found that Fennel was not snoring next to her. That was weird. Usually it took forever to pull the woman out of bed, even for work, and she was off from work today. She wasn't anywhere in the apartment, either. Walking into the kitchen, all Juniper found was Colress sitting at the table reading the newspaper, taking a sip of fresh coffee from a mug. Since the comics were tossed aside, the man was actually reading news or sports or anything that wasn't the comics section. But he still looked cross, his eyes narrowing over whatever he was reading with annoyance. It was unsettling. Upon noticing the brunette, he merely gave her one glance-over and returned his attention to the paper, frowning. "Edith went out. She wanted to beat the morning supermarket rush."

Nothing made sense. Fennel never woke up at nine in the morning just to buy groceries. Colress never dropped his childish demeanor. Going against every instinct in her body, Juniper felt Colress's forehead with her hand. His temperature felt normal. Such a waste of touching him, but she couldn't turn back. She grabbed a stool and sat next to the man, sweatdropping. "Uh, so those were your parents last night, huh? I never pegged you as an Edward."

Colress glared at her. He, Colress of all people, was glaring at her. The morning was becoming more and more unsettling. "I don't go by that," he said simply, setting the newspaper aside, "and they don't go by my parents. Not anymore. But yes, Aurea, they were here."

He didn't even call her 'Dad'. Juniper's sweatdrop only grew bigger, but she refused to back down from his unusual behavior. "So what were they doing here? That didn't look like a normal family-disowning visit."

"Very observant, Professor. They've disowned me for years. But fine, I'll tell you." Colress sighed, tapping his fingers against the table. "These past couple of years haven't been easy for me. When I was released from prison, I was very aware that my life was forever changed. I moved here to Castelia and opened a shop to make an honest living, but most people won't buy from you when they've seen your mugshot everywhere. I considered a lot of options. Killing myself and selling my organs to science. Running back to Ghetsis, though he'd lost what little marbles he had left. Running back to prison. It's not hard to commit a felony, you know.

"One day I bumped into Edith, out of pure coincidence. It had been the first time since we'd seen each other since I joined Team Plasma. We hugged, we talked. She was the first to show me kindness. She…"

He paused, blushing, back to his old self. This wasn't good. "You won't like hearing this, I'm afraid," he said finally, sighing again. "She's been giving me money every month. I've told her to stop. I've told her I'd repay her back. But she won't listen to me, so I decided to take drastic measures. I asked my birthgivers for money, not only to repay Edith back but to give her some extra money so you two could go out tonight. After some fast-talking deliberations, I succeeded, but she found out my plan. I suppose you told her, oops. So this morning she took the owed money but threw the extra money in my face. Said she couldn't accept it. She almost didn't accept the owed money, but I insisted until I was blue in the face- oof!"

She tackled him to the floor, sending the stools crashing to either side of them. This woke up Sycamore from the couch, who lazily watched the pair from the doorway. This made zero sense. Which pile of dung that came from that blond jackass's mouth made less sense to Juniper - the pile where he accepted free money from his best friend, the pile where he actually paid her back and even wanted to help his best friend go on a date with his rival, or the pile where he said Fennel actually refused his offer? It was like she was purposely avoiding Juniper today, and it upset the brunette, and all Colress did was stare at her, commenting, "Heh. Augustine was right. You do have small boobies."

"Shut up!" Juniper snapped. "Why does she act this way every year?! Why isn't she herself?!"

"My, my, for a renowned professor, you do have an awful temper. How am I supposed to know? We've only been talking for a few months."

"Answer me, Edward- fuck!"

It was a complete mystery as to how Colress overpowered her and sat her on the table, tapping her head with the rolled-up newspaper. He looked angry for a second, then exhausted, like being tackled by a girl was the worst thing in the world. "I told you not to call me that. Bad Aurea. Bad." He tapped her head again, clicking his tongue, and she never felt more embarrassed. "You of all people should know better. Our dearest Eddie won't do anything for Valentine's Day until you approach her first about it."

"…what."

"Story time, my dear professor. It all starts back when we were in college, when you two had that big fight the day before Valentine's Day. You were jealous of me and didn't trust her like a doodoo, and now she's decided to give you two space on this candy-filled day until you make the first move. But obviously you're over the mistrust, though I doubt that jealousy's gone away, tsk tsk. I'm just too handsome for your liking, Dad."

"Eh? But that was just a stupid fight. We made up back then."

Deep down in her heart, however, she knew she couldn't excuse the fight as stupid. After that particular fight, Fennel was much more careful with her words and actions, wanting to slowly ease her way more and more into Juniper's life. That plan worked as they eventually became lovers, but for that to affect Fennel made Juniper feel regretful. She never did anything wrong, just spent time with a man that Juniper did consider to be a rival. It was childish, and more importantly, Colress was the good guy in the situation.

Colress was the good guy. Again. Juniper shuddered, ignoring that smug, pompous ass as she continued thinking. Well, all the other Valentine's Days sucked, but this one wouldn't. She had two meddlesome boys at her disposal, ready to follow their father's orders or else risk Daddy's wrath. Yes, this was a brilliant plan. With a sinister grin on her face, Juniper placed a hand on Colress's shoulder. "Colress, get your brother out of his pajamas. Dad's taking you out on a field trip.


"I'll kill you."

Juniper cursed as the blond threw a tub of chocolate ice cream on top of her. This was quite possibly the stupidest idea she had ever come up with in all her years as a professor. She understood that flowers and balloons were popular on the romantic holiday, but for Colress and Sycamore to wheel her around in just her bra and boxers in a shopping cart at the supermarket was absolutely ridiculous. Her wrists were sore from the balloon strings tied around her, and her legs ached from dangling so long, and people were staring at her because she was practically naked in a shopping cart. How did she ever think this was a good idea?

Colress called it apologizing. Sycamore called it romantic. But Juniper couldn't call it either of these things right now as her cheeks burned with several angry emotions. They'd been in the large supermarket for over an hour now, searching aisle after aisle for her dark-haired beauty, but Fennel had yet to be found. Lovely, just lovely. And her disposable boys were just having the time of their lives, stocking up on every sweet thing they could find. Sycamore's eyes tinkled with an intensity that made Juniper feel like she wanted to pull his eyes out of their sockets. "Dad's field trips are much better than the ones I had at school!" he exclaimed, giddy. "No screaming teachers to get off the planet model. No nasty scrapes or bruises or diseases, either."

"Yeah, Dad's so cool. Hey, Augie, maybe she'll let us get those trading cards after all."

"You know I'm not getting you guys anything, right?"

"Ahaha, oh, Daaad…"

They rounded the corner. Right by the milk products was Fennel, examining two different yogurt flavors. Juniper still felt slightly miffed, but most of her anger faded away as she locked eyes with her lover. The doctor looked confused, then ecstatic, then more confused, and as her eyes finally drifted down to Juniper's bare skin, she was overwhelmed with joy. She nearly crashed her cart into a candy display as she towered over Juniper's shopping cart, laughing. "Ahaha, Aurea, what are you doing here?" she asked.

Juniper grinned. "Uh, just being your valentine. I hope you like it, and if so maybe we can go out later tonight."

"She's only the finest product," Sycamore added. "Like the finest Swiss chocolate Gogoat help make in the mountaintops. Mother, do us the favor of taking our magnifique father off our hands."

"And make her buy us stuff."

"Ohhh, Junicup, you have the flowers and balloons and everything. Of course we can be valentines! Here, let me join you."

Fennel was about to leap into the shopping cart, but her weight and Juniper's was too much for the cart to handle. It squeaked and slipped forward, sending Fennel flying into the candy display, large swirlies quickly replacing her eyes. The cart rolled for a few more seconds before tipping over, smacking Juniper against the freezer. Of course it had to be the freezer. Goosebumps lined up and down her body, complimenting all the hairs that stood upright. Swirlies also replaced her eyes, but a visible anger mark popped up by her face, signalling for Colress and Sycamore to do more than just stand there and stare at them. The two men understood, lifting each woman into her shopping cart.

Several apologies later the group was in the park, the ladies still in the shopping carts, a fair exchange for one hundred dollars and the promise to not post any of Juniper's semi-nude photos on the Internet. That exchange also included a couple of towels, which Juniper gratefully accepted. One measly labcoat wasn't warm enough in this freezing February weather. Snuggling against the towels, she turned her head to the side, staring at the shopping cart where Fennel was. The woman kept yawning, regretting that she woke up early just to buy soup and ice cream but pleased that her cousin was giving her a free ride like a baby in a stroller. Also turning her head, she gave a small smile to Juniper. "Honey, I might have to take a nap when we get home," she admitted, yawning again. The way she kept rubbing her eyes made the brunette wonder if she'd even make it awake until they got home. It was doubtful. "What do you want to do when I get up?"

Juniper could hear Colress above her, so calm yet so smug. "If I may suggest something, Ed, there's a couples' only demolition derby tonight. You two can go, and Augustine and I can join you. I'll even pay for our tickets. How does that sound?"

"That sounds terrific. Huaaaa. What do you think, Aurea?"

Juniper wanted so desperately to say no. They only had a few more days together before she returned to Nuvema, and it was their first true Valentine's Day as a couple. There was no reason why they should be forced to spend another waking moment with the men. Those two could stay at the apartment on their own and do whatever things oddball men like them did. But she knew a demolition derby was an event that was right up Fennel's alley. She enjoyed things being destroyed almost as much as she enjoyed them being created.

Besides, she still could take advantage of her darling boys for anything they had, especially Colress. He may have been right many more times than she anticipated, but she refused to lose Fennel's heart to him. A father's love and affection was much healthier for the doctor than some child's love and affection and estranged parent money. Yawning herself, Juniper nodded once, staring at the sky. It was sunny. "Sure, it's fine. As long as the kids don't disturb naptime when we get home. Daddy wants to spoon with you for a few hours…"


(Original notes: "Juniper's investment in the family complex is 5000 percent intense. ")

Originally written on February 14th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Original comments still suit this chapter well.