This morning, the cast was lounging around the reading table when Jack walked in through the front door, laughing with David, Natalie, and Camren. All four were holding Starbuck's cups and had bags of new clothes. Jack finished his coffee and grinned, "You guys are the best."
"Hey, you're the one who got us the free clothes." David smiled.
Jack shrugged. "Eh, you'll be surprised what people will do when there's a fake but very real-looking gun on their faces."
"So, what episode are we doing today?" Ben asked.
Jack smirked, bringing up his scripts from under the table. "You know, I'm surprised you guys' script writers even still bother. Don't they know about me?"
The cast shrugged, and Erin eagerly grabbed a script. "Ooh, this looks interesting."
"Thanks, Barbara. I call it... Worse than a Crime, but revised! Who wants to start?"
Bruce had just woken up when the bag was pulled off his head. He found himself in a familiar place, Galavan's penthouse, except now it had a sinister new meaning. Theo was standing over him with a sinister grin, ready to take a life without even thinking. Bruce was determined to put on a brave face. He would not let Theo get the better of him.
"I won't sell my company no matter what you do." Bruce said right away, as if on instinct.
Theo sighed. "I'm resigned to that. You're a very brave boy. I'll have to acquire your company by other means. Would you like to know my evil plan now?"
Bruce stuttered, "N-No, I really-"
"Well, if you keep asking, I'll tell you. My real name is Dumas, and I-"
"You know, you've said this exact thing like twenty times now." Tabitha sneered, walking in. "Seriously, remember the last time you ordered a pizza? 'My name is Dumas. I was cheated and my legacy was erased and I want to exact my revenge on this city. I'll have a large Hawaiian.'"
Theo growled, "Aren't you supposed to be hunting a butler or something?"
Tabitha groaned and got up, grabbing her whip and bringing two henchmen with her to the Gotham City dump. Theo turned back to Bruce and said, "Be thankful your parents died before they could give you a sister. Anyway, my real name is Dumas, and I-"
Theo was interrupted once again when his master, Father Creel walked in with a bowl of water. Father Creel dipped two fingers into the bowl of water and put his fingers on Bruce's forehead. He dragged them down his face, poked them into his nostrils, painted his eyebrows, and poked into his mouth and started feeling Bruce's teeth.
"Why is this dude molesting my face?" Bruce asked, when Father Creel took his fingers out of Bruce's mouth and stuck the wet fingers in his ears.
Theo slapped his forehead. "May I tell him my evil plan now?"
Father Creel finished poking Bruce's tongue and left the room. Bruce flexed his face uncomfortably, and Theo finally smiled, "My name is Dumas, and a long time ago, my family was dishonored and degraded by yours. For centuries, our clan has lived in-"
"It is time to bring Bruce Wayne to his cell." Father Creel said, coming back into the room.
Theo threw the book he was holding out the window in rage and sighed, "Just take him. I need some aspirin."
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Lucius came out of the cave after four episodes of fixing the computer and eating only finger sandwiches. "Hey, guys? I finished fixing the hard drive! Guys? Where did you go? Well, I guess it's just me alone in this gigantic mansion."
Cut to scene of Lucius Fox throwing a house party and playing 'Just Dance' in his underwear.
(SHOT-ITY SHOT SHOT SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Jim Gordon was beginning to wake up after a night of being beaten unconscious by Galavan's men and being slapped thirty-seven times by Penguin. His vision was beginning to come back when he heard something that sounded like Ed and Penguin rapping, "I'm beginning to feel like a crime boss, crime boss, all my henchmen from the front to the back nod, back nod, Now who thinks their guns are long enough to slap box, slap box, they say I rap like a handgun so call me rap-shot, rap-shot,"
It was time for Penguin's rap solo. "But for me to rap like a penguin must be in my genes, I got a limp bad in my right pocket, My gun'll go off when I half-cock it, Got a fat knot from that crime profit, Made a living and a killing off it, ever since Don Falcone was still in office, with Sal Maroni feeling on his nutsack, I'm a penguin still as honest-"
Jim groaned and sat up, looking around at what was happening. Penguin turned to him and smiled, "Hi, Jim. I saved your life. Want to team up and take down Galavan?"
Jim sighed, looked around once again at what was going on, and responded, "What the f-"
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
In Theo's penthouse, Theo stared out the window out at the city, looking over all the chaos and crime below him. It was all the fault of the Wayne family. When the Dumas family ruled Gotham, there was some class. Now it was a pit hole.
"Yes, brother. It's all yours." Tabitha smiled, walking up behind him and sitting down in an armchair. "For god's sake, smile."
"I am smiling." Theo growled, turning back to show Tabitha his usual scowl.
Tabitha's eyes widened. "Wow, okay then."
Theo looked up to find Silver walking into the room in her pyjamas, attempting a pitifully fake-looking cough. Silver had a thermometer in her mouth that she recently dipped in hot tea and coughed, "Uncle Theo? I'm fighting off a cold. Is it okay if I miss the ceremony?"
Theo sighed and said, "Okay, first off, if your arms got cut off and everyone you loved bursts into flames, I wouldn't let you miss the ceremony. Second, you have a crush on Bruce Wayne, don't you?"
Silver's eyes widened. "N-No."
"Why does this happen every time I send someone to go trick someone else? What, you want to go on long walks on the beach with him? Splash water on each other? Call each other on the phone and refuse to hang up no matter what the other one says? Is that what you want?"
"Uncle, you're so embarrassing!" Silver whined.
Theo crept closer to her and smirked. "Tell you what, I'll give you a test. I want you to make Bruce Wayne fall in love with you all over again. I want to see him bang you-"
*Cough* "PG" *Cough* Tabitha hissed.
"'- your commitments against a wall and try to spend the rest of his life with you." Theo corrected himself.
Silver sighed. "He knows what I am now. He hates me."
"Well, that's what makes it a test. If you're guileful enough to win back his heart and cruel enough to smile at his killing, I'll know you're worthy of the family name."
Silver nodded. "I understand."
"Do you?" Tabitha sighed, jumping up from the armchair and walking over to Silver and Theo. "My brother will throw you out on the street, if he's kind enough not to kill you. It's all a game to him. A sad revenge on humanity after what happened to him in fifth grade-"
"Tabby." Theo hissed.
Tabitha smiled, "With Rebecca Thompson-"
"Tabby, don't!" Theo yelled.
"And Reagan Ferguson." Tabitha sat back down with a huge smile on her face.
Theo threw his papers at the wall in anger and screamed, "You swore you'd never tell anyone about Reagan Ferguson!"
"Oh, and should I tell Silver about the strawberry pudding and the-"
"AAARGH!"
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Bruce sat in his underground cell, completely still in a meditating pose. He was beginning to creep the guards out. He was wearing a white dress that smelled like fabric softener and broken dreams. He heard the cell door open, and for a second thought it was Alfred or Selina. When he turned his head, all he saw was Silver.
Silver was wearing the skirt that her uncle told her to wear, but she only wore it half-heartedly. Unlike before, there was no joy in her craft. She didn't bother putting on makeup or making herself look prettier. She just did what she was made to. She didn't think Bruce was into her boobs that much anyway.
"I just wanted to say I'm really, really sorry for what happened." Silver breathed. "And I'm sorry I had to lie to you. I had to do what my uncle said, but I think you're a good person, and if I could help you, I would. But I can't, and I'm sorry." A surprising amount of that speech was sincere. "And I thought you might like some company. But if you don't, that's fine. I can leave."
"Yes." Bruce said. "Please leave."
Okay, ouch. Silver thought. "You really hate me, huh?"
"I have no feelings for you whatsoever."
Wow, passive-aggressive much? Silver thought, her feelings seriously hurt at the moment. "Well I like you. And I'm sorry. That's all."
"Goodbye, Silver." Bruce said.
Oh my god, this kid is impossible. Okay, plan B. Silver turned to the guard outside the cell door and pretended to have a conversation with him. Then, after a few seconds, she turned back to Bruce and said, "The guard says I'm not allowed to leave. Looks like I'm stuck here with you."
Bruce sighed. "Fine."
Score!
(SCREENSHOT OF A GOOGLE MAPS SHOT OF THE GOTHAM SKYLINE SINCE THE BUDGET RAN OUT)
"Captain, what the hell?!" Lee yelled, following Captain Barnes through the hall of the GCPD precinct with his poster in her hand. Captain Barnes had spent a good ten minutes making that poster, and he was not happy it was ripped off the wall. "You put a warrant on Jim? Armed and dangerous?!"
"That's right." Barnes growled. "He has two arms, and both of them are very dangerous."
"He's not a criminal." Lee sighed. "He was obviously abducted, or... or – or something?!"
"There is no 'or,'" Captain Barnes said. "Ore is for miners, and we are a very major organization!"
"Your wordplay is on point today." Lee said sadly.
Lee and Barnes stepped into the main GCPD office, and Lee stood her ground while Barnes questioned her. "Do you know where he is, or how long he's been working with Penguin?"
"He's not working with Penguin." Lee said.
Barnes laughed in her face. "Oh, please. I know about Gobblepot. People have been shipping them since day one!"
Lee stared at Barnes, bewildered, as he stepped off the platform to go back to his office. She was about to give up when Ed walked by with a huge smirk on his face and whispered, "Is your lover-man alive? Go to Grundy, eight-o-five."
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Silver and Bruce sat with each other awkwardly in the dungeon cell as Bruce tried his best to ignore Silver. Silver kind of wished Bruce wasn't being sentenced to death and she had to seduce him more. He was way more attractive when he was brooding.
"Will you please talk to me?" Silver asked. "Silence makes me sad."
Bruce sighed, still looking straight ahead with a blank expression on his face. "Talk about what?"
Silver shrugged half-heartedly. "Anything. Top ten lists. Best vacations. What's your favorite animal?"
Bruce thought for a while and finally breathed, "Owls."
Silver sighed in relief. "Owls? Owls, okay. Owls are cool. Have you ever swam with a dolphin?"
Bruce held up his hand. "Don't. I know what you're trying to do."
"I'm not doing anything." Silver said, a bit offended.
"You're trying to get me to picture you in a bikini. Well it's not going to work this time."
"Well that's not what I was doing, and I have swum with a dolphin. Oh my gosh, it was magical. It was like we were friends. They have this power, it's like they can read your mind."
Bruce sighed. "No, they can't."
"No, they can. They can see your brain waves."
"They have a form of sonar. They can look inside you and see tumors, that kind of thing. But they can't read your mind."
The guard standing in the front of the cell knocked on the wall and said, "Actually, a study recently done by scientists in the dolphin sanctuary in New Zealand showed that dolphins are able to recognize the difference between different vibrations and alpha brainwaves emitted by humans in water to the point where they can recognize if they're in distress or not, thus proving that dolphins can in fact read minds to a certain extent."
The two kids looked at the guard weird for a while.
"What? Just because I'm a monk means I can't like dolphins?"
Silver smiled at Bruce, who grunted and went back to staring blankly at the wall in front of him.
(PICTURE OF SKYLINE)
Lee had arrived at 805 Grundy, which she recognized as Ed's apartment. She opened the door to find many gigantic men cocking their guns and preparing for battle. Either Jim was there, or Ed had a really weird secret life. As she walked through, the giant men eyed her. One of them yelled for his boss, Penguin.
"Boss, what are we doing?" he asked.
Penguin sighed. "I told you, Gabe. Just cock your gun, un-cock it, then cock it again. I love the sounds of guns being cocked."
"But we're not going for another few hours."
"Just cock your gun!"
Gabe cocked his gun, un-cocked it, and then cocked it again. Penguin smiled at him and limped to the kitchen to get himself a sandwich. Meanwhile, Jim walked by and found Lee, immediately dragging her to the corner to talk.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Lee yelled.
Jim sighed, "I need to get you out of town. Penguin has a reliable man who can take you upstate. Things are going to be unsettled for a while."
"Unsettled?" Lee asked.
Penguin limped back in and sat down on the couch to watch Jim and Lee. "We're gonna take down Galavan."
Lee was about to slap Jim. "Are you insane?"
Penguin raised his hand and sighed, "Albert Einstein defined insanity as attempting the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You've given Jim this speech, like, twenty times, so maybe you're the insane one."
"You're on the run from the law!" Lee whined, as Penguin was eating his popcorn. "You're trying to attack the mayor with the help of a depraved sociopath!"
Penguin growled and said, "I can hear you."
"Shh, don't speak." Lee sighed, as Penguin cracked open a soda can and continued watching the live reality show. "Let's get out of this town together. I don't care what you've done already or what you have to leave undone. Let's just go."
"Lee, I can't. I can't let Galavan win this way."
"I'm pregnant." Lee said.
"OOOOOOOOHHH!" Penguin squealed, slapping his thigh in excitement and spilling popcorn everywhere. "I did not see that coming!"
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
"There were silver-white roses and red lilies all over the house. I don't know why, but my mom had this weird thing with the colour silver." Silver said, slumped against the wall of the underground dungeon with Bruce. "All my friends were there. I'm pretty sure this one guy had a crush on me. He got drunk and texted me, 'LUV YUR BOOBIES LOL #WCW.' We played music and I danced with this friend who might actually have been gay. I don't know, but he was an awesome dancer. My mom made me a cake with my name spelled out in white chocolate, because I'm guessing she really liked silver things. That's kind of racist, actually, but there you go. Anyway, yeah. That's my favorite memory. My Dad's business meeting at Home Depot. How about you?"
Bruce thought for a long time. "I don't know."
Silver laughed just a little bit out of nervousness. "Come on. You must have one."
"So, your parents really are dead, aren't they?" Bruce asked. It kind of just blurted out. He wanted to take it back a bit.
Silver nodded. "Yeah. I wasn't lying about that."
Bruce sighed. "I'm sorry."
"That's show business."
Bruce took a deep breath. "We went camping once, in a forest. My dad and I climbed an oak tree and ate oranges. We could hear my mom singing to herself as she built the fire. This pizza delivery guy came. His name was Alfred, and after my mom talked to him for a while, she hired him. It was a good day."
For the first time in a long time, Silver could not believe what a truly despicable person she was. "Damn it." she whispered to herself. "Damn it, I can't do this. I can't let you die."
"Oh, so you were okay with it before?" Bruce asked.
Silver ignored his back-sass. She turned around and faced the guard at the front of the cell, who was on the ground crying his eyes out.
"That was beautiful!" the guard sobbed, blowing his nose in a tissue. "You can find happiness again, I promise! This is not the end! You two will be happy again, I swear!" the guard cracked the cell door open and laid back on the floor, crying his eyes out.
Bruce and Silver darted out of the cell, and Bruce followed Silver down the hall of the creepy basement, desperately trying to find a way to escape. Silver's memory of the escape route was fuzzy, but she was confident she knew where to go. Then, Silver ran straight into her uncle.
Two goons held Bruce and Silver in place while Theo shook his head and sighed, "Let me guess. You made the guard cry?"
"Pretty much." Silver said.
Theo growled. "Why did I put Brother Maudlin in charge again?"
Silver shrugged, and she was dragged back to her cell with Bruce.
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
"Bruce and Alfred have been gone for twelve hours." Lucius said to Captain Barnes. After eleven-and-a-half hours, he got tired of playing in a giant mansion by himself and realized that Alfred had the key to the wine cellar. He was now in the GCPD precinct, talking to Barnes.
"Twelve hours isn't very long."
"I am sure that something has happened."
"Why?"
"A window was opened, and a lamp was knocked over."
Captain Barnes sighed. "Is this unusual?"
Lucius nodded. "Yeah. Other than Bruce's street girlfriend who can open a window at any time she wants to come in the manor, there is no explanation for a window being open. And why would a lamp be knocked over? Just because Alfred and Bruce spar all the time and knock stuff over every day doesn't mean a lamp on the ground is acceptable!"
Barnes nodded. "Yeah, okay. Bye, Lucius." Suddenly, Barnes' desk phone rang, and he picked it up. He heard an officer say a few things and nodded. "That's interesting."
TWENTY MINUTES LATER...
Barnes, Lucius, and Bullock were standing over Alfred's unconscious body in a holding cell, where the butler was spread out on the floor with multiple wounds. Bullock was holding a bucket of water.
"Bullock, are you sure that's the best way to wake a man who was just electrocuted?" Barnes asked.
"Yep, totally." Bullock smiled, dumping the cold water all over Alfred, who spasmed on the ground, the dormant electricity once again surging through the water, and he fell unconscious again. Bullock grinned sheepishly and said, "I'll go get Doc Thompkins."
TEN MINUTES LATER...
Alfred had regained full consciousness, and was sitting on a table at the GCPD covering his wounds while Lucius, Bullock, and Barnes were gathered around him, trying to get information. While in the precinct, the cop that tasered Alfred in the face walked by sheepishly, and Alfred shot her a dirty look.
"I was in the process of commandeering a vehicle when one of your idiotic cozzers shot me in the face with a stun gun. Here I am!" Alfred growled, wrapping a bandage around his wound.
The three looked around at each other confused, and Bullock asked, "What's a cozzer?"
Lucius ignored them and turned to Captain Barnes. "There's your warrant. He was assaulted on Galavan's property by known associates of Galavan!"
"While trespassing in Galavan's tower." Barnes said. "He was lawfully pursued off the property."
Alfred coughed, "I was also stabbed two times, chased into a dump, and shot in the face by Galavan's associates. Is that still legal?"
"Considering you tried to steal a car, I'd say you got your comeuppance." Barnes back-sassed.
Bullock sighed, "Galvan's got Bruce Wayne, boss, sure as eggs!"
"I told you to stop making egg jokes about me! I get it, I look like an egg. Egg jokes get old, you know!"
"No need to get scrambled over this."
"BULLOCK!" Barnes yelled in frustration, storming off to his office.
"Wait! I know you're boiled, but it was just a yolk!" Bullock said, holding back a laugh. He turned back to the unimpressed Alfred and said, "So are we getting Bruce ourselves? The fact that Captain Barnes doesn't want us to do it makes me want to do it more."
"We can't do it by ourselves." Alfred sighed. "We need Jim Gordon. He's perfect for this."
"Well where is Jim?" Bullock asked, as a quiet snicker came from the corner of the room. All three of them turned to find Ed quietly snickering and the three stood up to gang up on him like three high school bullies ganging up on a nerd to steal his lunch money.
"You know something?" Alfred asked. "Start talking, Windows."
Ed stuttered around a bit and whimpered, "A diamond grate, a golden grate, a place you never leave. What am I?"
"Home." Lucius said, right away. "Whose home? Your home? Gordon's at your home?"
Ed sighed, "It's happening again." and just handed the three bewildered men his lunch money.
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Silver had broken down and was crying into the wall, letting out quiet whimpers between breaths as her tears fell onto the floor. The other person in the cell, Bruce, was sitting beside her incredibly awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Then, he got an idea and ripped off a little piece of the white dress he was wearing and used it to wipe Silver's tears. Silver looked over at him with trembling eyes.
"I must look terrible." Silver smiled half-heartedly.
Bruce looked down. "Yes, you do."
Silver sighed. "Do you love me?"
Bruce shook his head. "No. Trying to get me to sell my parent's only legacy so the new owners can murder me is a big turn-off for some guys. I'm saying this because after I'm dead, you may feel bad. I don't want you to feel like you tricked me."
Silver took a deep breath and decided to stare her destiny in the face. Bruce would never kiss her, and she was going to die.
"Why do you do this?" Bruce asked. "What's the point?"
Silver sighed. "Uncle Theo made me. He said if you don't kiss me before you die, he'll throw me on the street. And then your friend the Cat girl will kill me."
"No, she wouldn't." Bruce said. "The worst she'll do is severely spank you with a whip. But just in case, stay away from windows."
(TIR DE LA LIGNE DE CIEL)
It was time. In Ed's apartment, the team of Jim, Bullock, Alfred, Ed, and Penguin were ready to take down Galavan. Jim, decked out in a police uniform and bullet-proof vest, was loading a shotgun and getting the troops ready. Alfred was wearing a militarised version of a butler suit. Penguin had his greasy hair spiked up into a Mohawk. Ed had a gold cane that shot green lightning, and was wearing a ripped green blazer. Bullock was too lazy to make a new costume for himself. Their code names were respectively, 'Detective Danger, Fear Da Beard, Sergeant Jeeves, Jigsaw Puzzle, and Boss Bird.'
"What's the plan?" Lucius asked.
"Simple." Boss Bird grinned. "We just get in there and shoot everyone in the face and other various body parts as they present themselves opportunely."
Lucius slapped his forehead. "That's it? You have no plan? How are you even going to get in the building?"
"I know a way in." A voice said. Everyone turned to the window to find Selina Kyle sitting in the window, admiring a diamond that she had just stolen.
"How long has she been there?" Fear Da Beard asked.
Detective Danger shrugged.
"How do we know you haven't stitched us up?" Sergeant Jeeves asked. "You've switched sides often enough."
"How do I know you're not a Martian in a rubber suit?" Selina asked.
Jigsaw Puzzle carefully poked at Alfred's face before Alfred swatted him off. Detective Danger sighed, "I trust her. Thanks for your help, Cat. Choose your costume."
Selina smiled and took off her leather jacket. Her costume was a set of red goggles, black cat ears, and a skin-tight cat suit that made all the adults in the room incredibly uncomfortable. After a little haggling, she decided her code name was going to be Kat Klaws. Finally, she smiled and said, "Also, I brought the cavalry."
Boss Bird and Jigsaw Puzzle looked out the window, and found the rest of Kat Klaws' crew. She had brought the Knife, (AKA The Scythe) Detective Alvarez, (AKA Hiding-From-My-Wife) Butch Gilzean, (AKA Jack Hammer) Barbara Kean, (AKA The X-Girlfriend) and Aaron Helzinger. (AKA, Inmate 007)
"Who's ready for the most cliché but epic character team-up ever?!" Barbara cheered.
"Okay, we're still missing something." Kat Klaws said. "We need a soundtrack."
Detective Danger sighed, "Okay, what's going to be our soundtrack?"
Cut to scene of Detective Danger, Fear Da Beard, Jigsaw Puzzle, Boss Bird, Sergeant Jeeves, Kat Klaws, The X-Girlfriend, The Scythe, Hiding-From-My-Wife, Jack Hammer, and Inmate 007 walking down a street with all their weapons in hand with explosions behind them and Lucius Fox rapping, "Cuz baby, now we got bad blood, HEY! Remember when you tried to write me off? Remember when you thought I'd take a loss, don't you remember..."
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
"Death to the son of Gotham." the monks chanted, as Bruce Wayne was dragged into the room by Father Creel, and was tied up to a pedestal. The monks wrapped chains around him so he couldn't escape and Theo handed Father Creel the celestial knife, all while the monks were chanting. Silver was there too, shaking from emotion and desperately fighting back tears. She was determined not to cry in front of her uncle, who looked upon his niece with pride. Bruce Wayne had kissed her before his sentence.
"Prepare yourself, boy." Father Creel smirked.
Bruce took a deep breath, putting on his bravest face. "You're a deluded old fool, and you'll pay for this."
"Hey, I'd respect your religion, you know." Father Creel turned to the sky, holding the knife in the air and yelled, "Ancestors, be our witness! The prophecy is fulfilled!"
"STOP!" Silver shouted, bringing the entire room to silence. The monks looked over at her with curiosity, and Theo glared at her with rage. Silver was shaking as she breathed, "Please?"
Suddenly, there was a booming explosion, and the wall facing away from Bruce blew up, with Detective Danger and the entire crew blasting in, aiming their guns and various weapons at the monks. Gordon sighed, and finally thought to himself, my life is so weird.
The monks stared down the various costumed weirdos and some of them took out knives. There was a standstill, and Father Creel shouted, "FOR NARNIA!"
There was chaos. Fighting erupted between the monks and the heroes. Kat Klaws jumped on a monk's shoulders and strangled him between her legs. Jigsaw Puzzle struck a monk in the face with his gold cane before touching it to the monk's back and letting the green lightning run its course. Boss Bird shot a monk in the face and continued to shoot him a hundred more times while he was on the ground. The X-Girlfriend stabbed two monks in the head and shot them off her dagger with a shotgun. Meanwhile, Bruce was tied to a post faced away from the action. He yelled, "What's happening? Who just barged in? Who are you guys?"
Selina jumped up so she was in front of Bruce and smiled, "You know, this is like the millionth time I've saved your life. You had better come running if I need help with anything."
She untied Bruce so he could look back. He saw Ed electrocuting a bunch of monks with his gold cane, Barbara in a bloody wedding dress stabbing the heck out of a monk in a black cloak, Butch with a spiked flail for a hand striking down monks left and right, and Alfred beating a monk against a wall. He looked back at Selina and sighed, "Selina, you told me you'd stop trying to recreate the music video for Bad Blood."
"My name is Kat Klaws." Selina smiled. "OHHH, IT'S SO SAD TO THINK ABOUT THE GOOD TIMES, YOU AND IIIIIIIIII..." she slipped away and went back to whipping monks.
Almost all of the monks were dead or unconscious. Jim kicked the last one in the face, knocking him out, and found only Father Creel still in the room. Father Creel held up a knife and yelled, "FLYING TIGER JUMP, GO!"
He jumped up and lunged at the completely unarmed Jim, and Jim would have been impaled if Father Creel wasn't shot out of the air and went falling to the ground, bleeding onto the floor. Jim looked around for his savior, and found Bullock near the stairwell, panting, "Ugh... stairs... too many... ugh," and collapsed on the ground out of exhaustion.
Jim sighed, "You know, we're travelling with a guy with a dislocated leg, and he got up the stairs faster than you."
"Also," Penguin added, pointing to Ed, "A grown man who has never seen the inside of a gym in his life."
"I've read books about gyms." Ed said.
"Ummm, guys?" Bruce asked, still facing away from the group. "Can someone untie me?"
Barbara and Penguin rushed to help untie the young child. Bruce's eyes widened with fear and he asked, "Can someone else untie me?"
"Hey, I just realized." Alfred said. "Where are Galavan and Silver? Did they escape?"
"Nah." Jim smiled. "I got the Knife to lock all the doors to the building. No one is getting out of here."
MEANWHILE, AT ANOTHER PART OF THE BUILDING...
Theo desperately threw himself at the door trying to get it to open. He cursed himself for leaving his keys with Brother Maudlin. Tabitha and Silver were behind him, massaging their temples and hating the world. Theo gave up rattling on the doors and turned back to Tabitha and Silver.
"Well, if nothing else, at least I have a chance to kill you." Theo growled, glaring at Silver. "I wanted to express my deep disappointment in you."
Suddenly, Theo fell to the ground from the gunshot to his leg. Tabitha and Silver looked over at Jim, running over with a pair of handcuffs and his gun aimed at Theo. He slapped a pair of handcuffs on Silver and Tabitha, and pointed his gun straight at Theo. Theo smirked and laughed, "Go ahead. You don't have it in you."
"Brother?" Tabitha whispered.
Theo kept laughing. "For a second, I thought you were going to shoot me, but you're too good for that. AT the end of the day, the bad guys will always win because of your weakness."
"Brother." Tabitha scowled. "Shut up."
"Why?" Theo chuckled. "It's not like Detective Gordon is going to shoot me. All the evil I've done, everything I've done to him, and he still won't shoot me. I bet that – urk!"
It had taken half a second for Tabitha to wriggle out of her handcuffs and grab Jim's gun, shooting her brother in the face. "You can arrest me for that, I just couldn't listen to that douchebag anymore."
"Did I not put handcuffs on you a minute ago?" Jim asked.
MEANWHILE, AT THE BUILDING'S GARAGE...
Alfred and Selina were walking back to the car to get back to Wayne Manor, Bruce following closely after. Bruce was still wearing a white dress, and Alfred and Selina were taking off their costumes.
"You know, you can take off that dress now." Alfred said.
Bruce thought for a while. "I can't."
"Why not?" Selina asked.
"I may or may not be naked under here."
Alfred sighed, opening the door of a black car. "You know, I do believe this falls under the category of, 'I told you so.'"
"I told him too, Alfred." Selina smirked.
Bruce shook his head. "Yes, well thank you both for your help, but I had a perfectly feasible escape plan."
Alfred looked over at Selina, and Selina looked back at Alfred. Both of them had the same idea, and got in the car. Bruce reached out to the handle of the car, but Selina had locked all the doors as Alfred was starting the car.
"Umm, guys? I think the door is locked." Bruce said, knocking on the window.
Selina pretended he didn't exist and talked to Alfred in the front seat. "It's been really dry lately, huh?"
"Yes, Miss Kyle." Alfred said. "I do believe a dry season is coming up soon."
"Wait!" Bruce yelled, tapping on the window more frantically. "How am I supposed to get home?"
The garage was completely silent and no one said a word as the car window slowly rolled down, Alfred's arm stuck out, dropped a pair of running shoes on the ground, and rolled the window back up.
"So, Miss Kyle. What would you like for dinner?" Alfred asked.
"I don't know. Why don't we get takeout? We haven't gotten pizza in a while."
"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Kyle, but the pizza place is closed. Do you like pasta? I recently ate at Fibonarri's and the food there was magical."
"Sure. They serve vegan, right? I'm trying out a new diet for the week."
Bruce stood there dumbfounded as Alfred and Selina drove off into the sunset while discussing their dinner plans, and Bruce's eyes fell on the set of running shoes on the ground in front of him.
(SHOT OF SKYLINE)
Jim had found Lee and sat down next to her, neither of them knowing what to say. Jim only had one goal, and he had spent all night practising.
"Will you marry me?" Jim asked.
Lee sighed with a half-smile and slowly said, "On account of you ditching me to team up with Penguin, kissing Barbara, and not having a ring? No, not really."
Jim nodded. "I'll go buy a ring."
"Yeah, you go do that."
After Jim went and bought a ring, he and Lee got married. When they found out the baby was going to be a girl, Jim suggested they name it Barbara, and Lee divorced him. It took a lot of flowers and jewelry to get her to marry him again. Penguin became the king of Gotham again, and his first order of business was to track down Galavan's body. He found it, but in the process, uncovered a huge conspiracy that threatened to destroy the city forever. Tabitha was put into Arkham Asylum, where the guards tried to beat her up for what happened last time she was in Arkham. That did not end well for the guards. Silver was forced to live on the streets, where she made friends with Ivy and started training to become a supervillain and get her revenge on the city. Bullock got his revenge on the stairs when he stole a bulldozer and demolished them. Penguin and Ed made millions off of a record deal and got to release their own album of popular song covers played on piano. Finally, while he was running home, Bruce ran into a man with a freeze gun, and almost died if Alfred and Selina hadn't hit him with their car. Selina jumped out the car window and yelled, "I'm up to six life saves now! When we get home, you are making me a freaking dinner in bed."
Jack stood proudly while the cast slowly started to applaud. David said, "You know, Jack? I'm actually beginning to like our new working relationship."
"Oh, yeah." Drew smiled. "The theatre's coming out with a new Batman thing. Hey, Jack, you want to come with me?"
"I'd be honored." Jack grinned, bursting into laughter. Then, Bruno Heller walked into the room.
"Sorry I'm late, I – what is he doing here?" Bruno asked.
Donal held up his hand. "Oh, don't worry. He's cool."
Bruno's eyes widened in disbelief. "Cool? He broke in here and held you all hostage!"
"I've come to learn it is not people's actions, but their motives that mark who they are." Camren said, making the rest of the cast nod and murmur.
Bruno slapped his forehead. "I've had enough of this. Security!"
Jack put a finger on Bruno's lips and said, "Shhhh. It's okay. Not everyone understands an artist. Although I've had my fun, I must bid you all adieu. I will see you all next time on Gotham. HA!" with that, he jumped out the window and drove into the sunset, with Bruno Heller cursing angrily at him.
Next chapter? Something special. Special, and Christmas-sy. Or should I say Cats-mas-sy?
