"- the end," finished Connie as she closed the book in her lap. She sat in the bathroom floor with her leg crossed next to Steven, who was holding back tears. "So, what did you think?"

Peridot laid on her back under the organic waste disposal unit (which Steven called the "toilet"), trying to fit the broken ceramic back into place. Primitive Earth tools were strewn around the floor near her: leverage optimizers, bolt tighteners, rhythmatic pulverizers ... though honestly, for the job of fixing the bathroom, Peridot had mostly been ignoring all those things in favor of simply using adhesive and something Steven called "duck tape." The once-shattered mirror now had a large X made of tape stretching over its surface area and the torn hygiene chamber aqua-shield (or "show-wer curtain," whatever Connie had called it) was haphazardly held together by adhesive. It was an incredibly monotonous job; if Connie and Steven weren't there to help with her studies as she worked, Peridot felt like she would have gone crazy or given up by now.

Peridot peaked up from the floor.

"Well-" Peridot started, but Steven interrupted.

"WHY DID CHARLOTTE'S BABIES HAVE TO LEAVE WILBUR TOO?!" Steven shouted, breathing heavily. "HADN'T HE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!"

"You didn't like the ending?" Connie asked.

"No, it was beautiful, THAT'S WHY I'M SO SAD!" Steven said, sniffing. "I should have known something like this would happen by the award stickers on the cover! THOSE THINGS ARE WARNING SIGNS FOR TEARS!"

Connie laughed.

"That's- that's actually pretty accurate," she said. Connie reached over and touched the back of Steven's hand. "It was one of my favorite stories when I was really little ... I'm glad you really liked it."

Peridot made note of the odd gesture, more specifically how Steven behaved after. For whatever reason, the act of Connie touching his hand made him immediately blush. He gave Connie a sweet smile.

"Well, a-any book sounds amazing read by you, Connie," Steven said.

Connie gave a lighthearted chuckle in return.

Peridot's eyes darted back and forth between them, observing silently. Such bizarre behavior for such a ... simple gesture. It was clearly meant to be affectionate but why such a strong reaction to basically nothing? It made no sense. She would need to investigate this later.

"Oh!" said Connie, drawing her hand back. She acted like she had nearly forgotten Peridot was there. "Peridot! You um ... w-what did you think of the story?"

"What? Oh." Peridot shook her head. She shouldn't have let herself get so distracted by trivial eccentricities. Her current objective was learning to decipher humanity's written language, first and foremost; she had to remain focused.

"Well, it was ... interesting," she said. Peridot turned her attention back to the underside of the toilet, which was missing a large chunk of ceramic Peridot had sitting next to her. "Could one of you hand me the adhesive?"

Connie poked around through the tools and found the container of adhesive. As she picked it up, she smiled at Peridot.

"Do you remember the other Earth word for 'adhesive'?" Connie said.

Peridot thought for a moment.

"... 'glue,' right?" Peridot said.

"That's right!"

Peridot rolled her eyes.

"Such a non-descriptive name," she muttered.

"Can you spell it?" Connie asked.

Peridot hesitated. Connie kept smiling while Steven sat, practically shaking with anticipation. She hated to admit it, but she actually felt nervous. After all, she didn't want either one of them to be disappointed in her, especially after how hard Peridot was trying to understand this backwards language.

"... 'G' ... 'L' ... 'U' ..." Peridot gave a long pause, then rubbed the Gem on her forehead. "Oh, right, and one of those silent 'E's that make no sense."

Steven clapped.

"Yay, you did it!" said Steven.

"Yep, you got it exactly right," Connie said pridefully as she threw the adhesive to Peridot. Peridot caught it before it hit the floor, much to her own surprise; she hadn't expected to accomplish anything remotely athletic without her limb enhancers.

She carefully applied it to toilet and carefully set the missing ceramic piece back into its proper place. It seemed to hold well.

Perfect, she thought.

"I have to say," Connie said, "you're picking this up really well after only a week."

Peridot sat up and grinned with pride.

"Of course," Peridot said. "As if there were any doubts a Gem of my intellect could decode your language." Despite her words, she was internally breathing a sigh of relief that she spelt the word right. Peridot looked at Connie, then added. "Besides, it all seems so simple with such ... capable assistance."

Connie tilted her head down, her eyes on the floor as she blushed.

"That's really nice of you to say," Connie said. "But I really am just making this up as I go. It's not like I'm a teacher or anything." Connie scratched her finger against the cover of the book in her lap. "Um ... did you have any questions about the story?"

"Well ... actually, there is one element I found rather puzzling," Peridot said. "I was under the impression humans were the only creatures capable of speech on this planet. That report seems to indicate all lesser lifeforms are also capable of language development. It's- and what exactly is so funny, Steven?"

Steven was giggling, but immediately stopped when Peridot snapped at him.

"Peridot, it's just a story," he said. "Animals can't talk. None of that actually happened."

"So it was a falsified report?" Peridot said, irritated. "If that's the case, what was the point of reading it?"

Steven opened his mouth to explain, but Connie put a hand on his shoulder to silence him. She gave Peridot a small smile.

"Sorry," Connie said. "I forgot I never really explained what fiction was."

There was that word again, Peridot thought. Connie had mentioned it when her lessons began, but Peridot wasn't quite sure of its meaning.

"Well," Connie said, clearly carefully choosing each word, "all books that are factual are called 'non-fiction.' Those are encyclopedias and reports and stuff like that. But a lot of books on this planet are about events, places, and people that do not actually exist, that someone made up. Those books are called 'fiction.'"

"That still sounds like a falsified report to me," Peridot said. "What is the significance of even having this ... fiction?"

"Well ... people write fiction for a lot of reasons. It could be used convey a lesson or a message readers can apply in real life. It could be written just to entertain the people reading it. And some fiction isn't meant for anything aside from expressing something the writer felt. It's a form of art."

"Hmm ... I see," Peridot said. "Sorry if I had difficulty grasping the concept. Art in general is not a pursuit Gems of my station tend to engage in."

Connie raised an eyebrow.

"Homeworld doesn't have art?" Connie asked.

"Oh no, they do," said Peridot. "Aesthetics are something the higher classes seem to enjoy busying themselves with. Fancy decorations, murals, Pearl designs, things of that nature." Peridot gestured to herself. "But for every other Gem, creativity is something to be utilized for more ... practical purposes. After all, skilled engineers such as myself wouldn't exist without some element of imagination ... but honestly I've never seen much value in utilizing it for anything besides work."

"You should totally try doing something creative, Peridot," Steven said, grinning. "It's a lot of fun!"

Peridot paused, then shook her head.

"I'm not sure. I don't exactly understand this written language enough to engage in writing of any kind, fiction or not."

"Well, there are other forms of art you might like," Connie said. "Like painting-"

"Yeah, you did pretty good painting during the robot competition with Pearl," Steven said.

Peridot rolled her eyes.

"I was literally only able to splotch paint into a vague shape that barely resembled its intended subject," she said. "It didn't look like ANYTHING."

"That's okay," Steven said. "On Earth we just call that being abstract."

"Is 'abstract' another word for 'bad?'" Peridot said.

Connie snickered. Peridot gave a small smile. She wasn't exactly sure why, but it made her feel good when she was able to make others laugh, even if it wasn't intentional. She was never considered particularly amusing or interesting on Homeworld; feeling otherwise on Earth certainly felt nice.

"I appreciate the suggestions, but no," Peridot continued. "I don't think there'd be much value in attempting any artistic-"

Before Peridot finished, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Peridot felt a tingle ripple through her construct when she heard Amethyst's voice.

"Yo Peri!" Amethyst said from behind the door. "You decent?!"

"AMETHYST?!" shouted Peridot. She panicked, her eyes darting towards the floor to see all her tools scattered around. For Gems sake, it looked like a complete mess. "Uh, just a second!" Peridot quickly shoved all the tools into a single pile, then bit down on her fingers. "Ugh, where to put these?"

Peridot thought hard for a few seconds, then pointed to Steven.

"Steven, bubble these primitive Earth tools," Peridot whispered.

"Say what?" Steven said.

"You can bubble Gems, right?" Peridot said. "Bubble this pile of tools and warp it to your harvest chamber!"

"I told you, I don't even know what 'harvest' actually-"

"Your 'imprison without trial' chamber, whatever you insist on calling it! Please, just bubble it!" Peridot looked around frantically.

Steven moved over to the pile of tool. Connie simply stared at Peridot.

"Um, Peridot," Connie said, "there's nothing to be nervous about-"

"I'm not nervous! I'm just ... behaving naturally!" said Peridot. Beads of sweat ran down the front of her Gem. She glanced at the mirror, but couldn't get a good look at herself because of all the tape covering it. She turned back to Connie. "Having said that, how does my hair look?"

"Uh ... pointy?"

"Excellent!"

Steven managed to encase the pile of tools into a small pink bubble. He lightly touched it with his fingers them flicked them upwards as the bubble disappeared. Steven's eyes grew wide.

"Oh my gosh, how have I NEVER thought of doing this to clean my room?!" Steven shouted.

Connie chuckled.

"Wouldn't that be kind of an abuse of your powers-" she said.

"You mean an AWESOME abuse of my powers!" said Steven, grinning.

Peridot meanwhile took a deep breath. She couldn't just stand around like a fool when Amethyst walked in; that wasn't 'cool' enough! Awkwardly, she put one hand against the toilet and leaned against it, attempting to appear casual. She flashed a big fake smile.

"C-come in!" said Peridot.

The door creaked open as Amethyst walked in holding a purple mug. Peridot swallowed and felt herself blush. Not that there was any particular reason for her to blush, of course. It's not like Peridot noticed the way Amethyst's lavender hair swung gracefully as she walked, or the way her eyes gleamed when she smiled, or the way her hips were just... nice.

It's not like Peridot noticed any of that.

At all.

"Whoa, cool, bathroom party," Amethyst said as she looked at all of them. She surveyed the repaired bathroom. "Oh wow, did you do all this, Peri?!"

Peridot cleared her throat.

"Ahem, well, I'm not in the habit of bragging, but I feel I fixed up this thinking chamber pretty well." Peridot smugly patted the toilet she'd just repaired. As soon as she did, the chunk of ceramic she had glued back onto it immediately fell of and clattered onto the tile floor.

Peridot glanced up at Amethyst, who was covering her mouth to keep from laughing.

"I intended for that to happen," Peridot insisted.

"Uh huh, sure," Amethyst said, chuckling. She crouched down next to Steven and Connie, gently ruffling Steven's hair with her free hand. Steven giggled. "So what are you guys doing here?" she said. "Helping Peri fix the bathroom before Pearl yells at her again?"

Peridot gritted her teeth.

"No one intimidated me into doing anything," Peridot said. "She suggested I repair it because it's destruction may or may not have been entirely my fault, and I agreed." Peridot folded her arms. "Besides, since this place is also my living quarters, it was appropriate."

"Okay, sure, Pearl totally didn't make you do anything," Amethyst said. She swung her hand forward, held in a fist as if she were holding something. "Wa-chu!"

"Is there some ... significance to that gesture?" Peridot said.

"Whipped. It means whipped. You're whipped. That's you." Amethyst cracked her imaginary whip again. "Wa-chu! Wa-chu!"

"I'm not whipped!" Peridot shouted.

Amethyst just laughed even louder as she moved closer to Peridot.

"Aw man, you're too fun to mess with, Peri," said Amethyst. She playfully ruffled Peridot's hair, just as she did with Steven.

Peridot cheeks got redder, which had absolutely nothing to do with Amethyst making physical contact with her.

"Actually," Connie said, "we were just having a discussion about art."

Amethyst gave Peridot a sly grin.

"Ohhh, I didn't know you liked art, Peri," said Amethyst.

Peridot cleared her throat.

"Well, actually-" Peridot started.

"Cause that's pretty cool," Amethyst said.

"It... It is?" Peridot said.

Amethyst nodded with a big smile on her face. Peridot felt the chest area of her construct tingle for some reason. Her eyes darted from left to right.

"Well actually, I adore art!" Peridot blurt out nervously. "Is... That's what I was going to say. Yes. Art. It's so ... artistic. And something I entirely understand. And enjoy. Often."

Amethyst snorted with laughter.

"Ooookay, that's a way stilted way to say that, Peri," Amethyst said.

"Well," Peridot coughed. "T-that's simply how I sound when I'm passionate about something."

"Pfft, wow," Amethyst said, after taking a quick sip from her mug. "That's awesome. Honestly I didn't think you were the type."

"Oh yes," Peridot lied. "I was just going on about art ... things when you walked in. Right, Connie?"

Peridot locked eyes with Connie. Peridot wasn't an expert at social cues, but she hoped that Connie could tell from her look alone that Peridot wanted her and Steven to play along.

Connie paused, then swallowed.

"Oh ... yeah," Connie said. "Peridot was, um, just asking questions about Earth art. She was hoping to learn more about it."

"Yes," Peridot said. "Yes, that is an ambition I honestly have."

Steven gave Peridot a curious look.

"But didn't you just-" He started, but Connie wordlessly nudged him with her elbow. Mercifully, he seemed to get the message. "I mean, yep! That's ... yeah!" Steven looked up at Amethyst. "I didn't know you liked art either, Amethyst."

"Well, yeah!" said Amethyst. "I mean, I like good art anyway. You know, like most of the stuff Vidalia paints."

"Uh, most of what Vidalia paints are pictures of you," said Steven.

"Yeah, like I said, good art."

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"What's a ... Vidalia?" Peridot asked.

"Oh, just this really cool artist friend I have," said Amethyst. "We go way back. She's really talented."

Peridot's eye twitched involuntarily.

"Oh," Peridot said. "Is this ... friend cooler than me?"

"Oh yeah, totally. No comparison."

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!" Peridot screeched, her hands clutched outward.

Amethyst burst out laughing.

"I'm just joshing you, Peri. Relax." She held up her purple mug. "Actually, she made this. It's neat. At the bottom of the mug, there's a little picture of me sticking my tongue out." Amethyst another sip.

"Oh ... that does sound pretty cute," Connie said. "Can I see?"

Amethyst shrugged.

"Sorry, still half full," she said.

"Oh," Connie said. "So what is that, coffee or-"

Amethyst looked into the cup and blinked.

"You know, I dunno," Amethyst said. "It's some black stuff I found under the sink." She took a long gulp. "Mmm ... tangy."

For some reason, Connie's eyes went wide and Steven's face paled. Peridot didn't really understand why. Steven and Connie seemed to ingest random matter all the time; she didn't see how this was any different.

"What?" Amethyst said when she noticed their expressions. "Did you two want some or-"

Steven put his hands up.

"No no, that's okay!" Steven said.

"Y-yeah, I'm pretty sure my mom said I'm allergic to ... whatever that is," Connie said nervously.

Amethyst simply shrugged and turned her attention back to Peridot.

"But anyway, yeah, Vidalia is pretty cool," Amethyst said. She thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up in that amazingly bright way that Peridot in no way noticed or was affected by. "Oh wow, you know what?! I should introduce you two! That'd be awesome!"

Peridot stiffened. She hadn't expected that.

"I ... I don't know," said Peridot uneasily.

"Awww, come on," said Amethyst. "You like art right?"

Peridot hesitated.

"Well, yes, but-"

"Well, Vidalia's the best artist I know! Well, technically the only artist I know, but that makes her best by default! And I'm her favorite subject, so that makes her even more the best!"

"I'm not sure I follow the logistics of your rating system," said Peridot.

"And besides, if you really want to learn about Earth, you're not gonna learn it cooped up in here." Amethyst waved her hand towards the entire bathroom.

"Not true!" Peridot nodded over at Connie. "Connie has been doing a fantastic job teaching me." Peridot turned her nose up and folded her arms. "I'll have you know I'm now familiar with most of your planet's text-characters, and just today I learned that lesser animals on your planet cannot talk. I feel I'm making great strides in understanding this planet."

Amethyst blinked.

"You didn't know animals can't tal- okay, yeah, you're going outside right now," said Amethyst deadpan. "Seriously."

Steven spoke up.

"You know Peridot, this might not be a bad idea," Steven said. "Vidalia is really nice. You wouldn't have anything to be nervous about."

Amethyst nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I could introduce you to Vidalia, she could tell you about art, and Connie and Steven can hang out with Onion or something."

Connie smiled. At the same time, Steven suddenly grimaced.

"That actually might be kinda fun," Connie said.

"Uh, you know what?" Steven said nervously. "M-maybe this isn't the best idea after all."

"Aw, come on, it'll be great," said Amethyst. She turned back to Peridot. "Don't you think so?"

Peridot frowned. There was some truth to what Amethyst said. She would certainly have to go into Beach City eventually, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't apprehensive about it. She doubted she could truly learn much visiting this 'Vidalia' if she was afraid the entire time ... especially when she wasn't really interested in the subject Vidalia was knowledgeable about. As much as Peridot truly wanted Amethyst's approval, she wasn't sure she was prepared for this.

"I-I think perhaps it might be best-" But Before Peridot had a chance to finish, Amethyst gently grasped Peridot's hand.

"Come on, ppppplease?" Amethyst said, suddenly speaking in a much more sincere tone. Peridot felt Amethyst rub the inside of Peridot's palm with her thumb. "It'd be fun for both of my really cool friends to meet each other."

Peridot felt a jolt through her entire construct. She couldn't stop staring at Amethyst's hand in hers. It felt so ... warm. She could feel her face flush. If this was how it felt to have another hold her hand, she could understand why Connie and Steven acted the way they did earlier.

"So what do you say?" Amethyst said.

"Uh huh~ Okay~" Peridot heard herself say wistfully.

Amethyst grinned. Amethyst slowly let go of Peridot's hand, much to Peridot's disappointment, and sat her mug by the sink.

"Awesome!" Amethyst said. She held her hand out towards Steven. "Hey Steven, lemmie borrow your phone, I'll tell Vidalia we're coming."

"Huh?" Steven said. "Oh yeah, sure ..." He reached in his pocket to pull out a flimsy screen encased in plastic that passed for a communication device on this planet and handed it to Amethyst.

Amethyst took it and ran excitedly out the bathroom. She lingered in the doorway for just a moment, twisting her head back towards Peridot, her hair gently bobbing as she turned.

"Don't keep me waiting too long, 'kay?" Amethyst said with a wink before she ran down the hallway.

Peridot stared at the empty doorway. For some reason, she suddenly found it very hard to move. Her face felt extremely hot; she was certain she was blushing. And, completely without conscious effort, she kept tracing her thumb inside her palm, as if she could still feel Amethyst's hand there ...

"Uh, Peridot?" said Connie finally. "You okay?"

Peridot snapped back to reality, in one quick moment, consciously realized the implications of what she had just said. She grabbed her hair nervously.

"Oh stars, what did I just agree to?!" said Peridot. "I-I'm not ready to go out into the city! And I have to talk about art? I don't even know anything about art from Homeworld, what am I going to say about the art on this crummy planet?!"

"Hey!" Steven said.

"Um ..." Peridot cleared her throat. "No offense. But what should I do now? I..." Peridot looked down at her gravity connectors and shifted back and forth. "It would be upsetting for me to disappoint Amethyst."

Steven scratched his head.

"You could just tell her the truth," said Steven. "Tell the truth and be yourself and trust Amethyst will like you for who you are?"

Peridot frowned, then flicked her eyes over to Connie.

"Connie, Steven's not helping, please give me some advice I can actually use."

"Hey!" Steven said.

Connie gave Peridot a reassuring smile.

"Hey, don't worry," Connie said. "We're coming with you, so we can help. And besides ... well, with art you can't exactly be wrong interpreting it. If you don't know what to say, just nod your head a lot and say 'that's interesting' and ... try to say something deep."

"Like what?"

"Um ... well, you could just stare at it for a bit and say ..." Connie put her hand to her chin and appeared to focus. "'Hm ... it says a lot about the human condition.'"

Peridot nodded.

"Yes ... that does sound convincing," Peridot said. "You're good at this. Yes, that might actually work."

"Peridot," Steven said gently, "I seriously think it would be better if you just told the truth. It's always better to just be yourself. What's so bad about that?"

Peridot stared at Steven and sighed.

"You are aware that I was 'being myself' when I was still monitoring the progress of a Galactic-Level living weapon that would have annihilated your world simply by existing, right? And when I insulted Pearl for simply being a pearl? And when I said a bunch of insensitive remarks that hurt Amethyst's feelings?" She glanced over at the cracked mirror barely held together with tape and saw her reflection, her own sad eyes staring back at her. "I'd much rather be something positive ... and I don't think 'myself' is a very positive thing to be."

Connie put her hand to her mouth.

"Peridot ..." Connie said, sadly.

"Peridot," Steven said softly, "that's not who you are anymore."

Peridot frowned.

"I wish I was as certain of that as you are," she said.

"But-"

"Steven," Peridot said. "I appreciate the sentiment, but ... I simply want to make Amethyst happy."

Peridot took a breath. She tried her best to put the conflicting feelings in her head aside. As of late, she didn't care much for thinking about her own inner workings. It drudged up too many volatile emotions, too many memories she'd rather forget ...

Somehow, she managed to curve her mouth into something resembling a smile.

"Besides," Peridot went on, "what Amethyst said was correct. As useful as learning this planet's written language and reading these fake reports is, I will never fully understand humans unless I interact with them. So seeing this Vidalia may have some value for that reason alone."

Connie got up and put her hand gently on Peridot's shoulder.

"Don't forget," Connie said, "we're right here for you all the way."

Steven stood as well and gave Peridot a friendly pat on the back.

"Yeah ..." said Steven. "I mean ... you really are a good Gem, Peridot. I really mean that. And whatever you decide to do, we'll help you."

Peridot saw both of the human children next to her in the mirror and smiled. She didn't deserve such kindness ... but she was thankful for it. More than she knew how to put into words.

"I ... appreciate that," Peridot said. She sighed. "I suppose the best course of action would just be to go with Amethyst and simply improvise."

"Yeah! Making it up as you go is the best plan!" Steven said.

Connie chuckled at that.

"Heh ... well, perhaps with your assistance it will not be so bad," Peridot said. "Perhaps it might even be ... enjoyable."

Peridot's eyes eyes were drawn to the purple mug Amethyst had left on the sink. She picked it up.

"Hm ..." Peridot said. "I wonder if the image of Amethyst in this container the Vidalia is any good ..."

She glanced in the mug, still half full of a black sludgy liquid. Peridot held it up to her nose and sniffed. It had no scent.

Connie's eye widened.

"Y-you're not gonna drink that, are you?" Connie asked.

"Well ..." Peridot said, "it doesn't look any less appealing than some of the disgusting materials I've seen Steven shove in his mouth."

"I'm ... I'm standing right here, Peridot," said Steven sheepishly.

"Besides," continued Peridot as if Steven had said nothing, "Amethyst ingested it and seemed fine. It would be interesting to try at least. I've never ingested anything before and-"

"...this is a bad idea, Peridot," Connie said.

"Yeah," Steven said. "Some the stuff Amethyst eats is a bit ... strong. I mean, I saw her eat a water heater once."

"... wait," Connie said, "why would she-"

"Cause Pearl told her not to."

"Oh okay, that makes sense," Connie said, nodding.

Peridot scrunched her nose up.

"Well, I can assure you that anything Amethyst can ingest, I'm sure I can handle as well," Peridot said. "And I am curious about this image, so-"

"Well, you could just-" Connie started, but Peridot already had already put the drink to her lips. It slid down her throat and into her construct. She had never ingested anything before, so the sensation was certainly unusual.

The taste was tangy and she felt it tingle her taste receptors.

Connie and Steven looked mortified.

"I-I was gonna say you could just dump it out and see the picture that way, Peridot," Connie said.

Peridot blinked, then suddenly stared down at the floor, embarrassed.

"I- I knew that!" Peridot insisted. "I realize that! I-I simply wanted to ingest this as an experiment! Obviously!"

Peridot briefly wondered if being on this planet was making her measurably less intelligent because the option honestly never entered her mind.

She shrugged, her taste receptors now slightly stinging.

"Besides, I'm fine," Peridot said. "I'm not sure why you two were so worried. I feel completely-"


"BLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!" retched Peridot from behind the bathroom door as Connie and Steven stood awkwardly in the hallway outside of it.

Connie bit her lip and shouted at the door.

"You sure you don't need me to hold your hair back while you're-"

"THAT'S UNNECESSARY!" shouted Peridot from inside the bathroom. "DON'T COME IN!" Connie heard another gag that made her cringe. She felt terrible that Peridot had gotten sick from drinking that liquid-like drink.

"I-it's okay, Peridot," Steven said to the door. Beads of sweat clung to his face. Connie could tell he was trying his best to be reassuring. "I promise this only happens when you eat something really really bad. Or if you get sick or something. It just... it only happens sometimes."

"This is just a THING that happens to humans?!" shouted Peridot with a cough. "YOUR EXISTENCE MUST BE HORRIBLE!"

"It's-it's not, really-"

"I AM ENCOUNTERING EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY!"

Down the hall, Connie heard Amethyst shout.

"Hey, what's taking you guys so long?" Amethyst shouted distantly. She was speaking casually. She clearly could not hear what Peridot was doing.

"Uh ..." Connie started.

Behind the bathroom door, Peridot spoke again, her voice much quieter.

"D-Don't tell her ..." she said.

Connie cleared her throat, then shouted down the hall towards Amethyst.

"Sorry!" Connie yelled. "Peridot is just-"

There was another loud gag from inside the bathroom.

"-um ... freshening up," Connie finished.

There was a pause, then Amethyst spoke again.

"Okay, well, tell her to hurry up," said Amethyst goodnaturedly. "I already called Vidalia and I'm started to get bored texting people pretending to be Steven."

"Wait, what?!" said Steven. "Nooooooo, not again!"

Steven ran down the hall while Amethyst's laughter echoed off the walls.

Connie was alone in front of the bathroom. She no longer heard any sounds coming from Peridot. She gently knocked on the door.

"Peridot, are you okay?" Connie said in a low voice.

There was a toilet flush, but no reply.

"Peridot, do you want me to come in?" Connie said. There was no reply. "Okay, I'm coming in."

Connie slowly opened the door and peaked inside. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Peridot. Aside from her face looking a noticeably darker green than normal, she looked fine. She held the purple mug and was looking into it.

"Uh ... everything okay, Peridot?" Connie said, stepping inside.

Peridot didn't reply at first, but then, without warning, she suddenly gave a tiny chuckle..

Connie gave Peridot a puzzled look. Peridot's only reply was pointing at the inside of the mug. Connie leaned over and saw at the bottom of the cup was a tiny image of a cartoonish Amethyst, her tongue stuck out with exaggerated proportions compared to the rest of her body.

"You know what?" Peridot said, her voice weak and slightly shaky. "This image actually is somewhat amusing ..."

"Heh, yeah, it is," Connie said, glad to see Peridot felt alright enough to joke around. She gave a tiny smirk. "You know what else?"

"Hm?"

"It says a lot about the human condition."

For the first time since Connie had met Peridot, Peridot actually snorted as she gave a hearty laugh.

Peridot's hot breath hit Connie's face. Connie sniffed the air and winced.

"Um ... Peridot?" Connie said.

"Yes?"

"Would you um ..." Connie looked down at the floor. "Would you like me to show you how mouthwash works really quick?"

Peridot stared for a moment, then breathed into her own hand and sniffed. She flinched.

"Yes, I would like that very much, thank you," said Peridot.