Chapter 13 | The Brittle Heart


stop fooling yourself

Mio walked down the narrow hallway with her bath towel draped over her head and held it tightly by the ends. She felt a bit pensive and quite unsure of herself. She hated all the fighting she and Madara had been doing. It brought so many memories into her head. She didn't want to think of them. She didn't want anything to disrupt her focus, but she feared if things continued as they were, it would be easy for her to do so. She would have to start facing reality and stop living in the fantasy. She needed to open her eyes and see everything as the world presented it, so that she could live with it, deal with it, survive against it.

She wanted to deny it still. The reality was too frightening to accept.

The awkwardness between them had not dissipated. Being alone in a room with Madara made her too uncomfortable to sleep, so she stayed up most of the night listening to the sounds outside. Their heated discussion on the trip to the Sun Country had brought an insecurity of his to light, one that he still protested against having, and it had made her second guess herself.

Madara had accused her of deliberately continuing her seduction of Eishirou, which she had not denied. She had done it to keep the man docile. After all, Eishirou had no reason to obey any of their orders or keep their secrets. She had assumed that if he had any assumption that she had been lusting after him that he would have no reason to reveal their true objective. She had to play the part the only way she had known how, but that had not meant she had enjoyed it or that she had any intention to sleep with him. She had never felt desire for another man that had not been Madara. While she had attempted to make that clear to him, Madara had asked if she needed jewelry and fancy dresses, which had a tendency of coming up often as Yayoi often encouraged him to buy her that type of gift, but it had been different this time.

Madara had sounded hurt when he had demanded if she needed such expenses.

"Those are impractical," she had argued. "I have no need for them. You know I don't."

"You say that, but you seemed very tempted by Eishirou's offer!" he had shouted. "Or is it him that you want?"

"If you feared the possibility that I could be tempted by another man, you should not have asked me to seduce one," she had countered. She had said it out of anger. She had not meant to hurt him, but he had hurt her and she had retaliated automatically. She had not given her argument a second thought. It had spilled and it had hit him hard.

His words had infuriated her. The mere insinuation had been insulting. Had he no faith in her feelings? He had been the one that had asked her to perform the task. She had suggested they use any other talented woman, but he had insisted that she was the only one that could do it. She had accepted because he had faith in her. She had steeled herself because of Yayoi's plight. She had wanted to see the priestess happy, so she had felt that if her doing this could bring her a little closer to contentment, she would do it.

She had regretted accepting.

"I thought you were professional!"

"I am professional and I am good at my job." Mio had reached to take his face into her hands. Her heart had been hammering wildly in her chest. "We are here because I am."

"Is that truly all?" he had asked, pulling away from her.

If he had no sense in realizing she had meant those words as she had spoken them, she had no reason to beg him to reconsider. Eishirou's offers hadn't piqued her interest. She had not considered him as striking as other women had. His cocksure grin had irritated her. His personality—his perception—that his social standing had entitled him to court her because he had the affluence to shower her with material goods had disturbed her. She had not found him appealing in any sense. She had seen him as a necessary piece to solve their problem. She had used him with that thought in mind. Cruel as it sounded, he had not been a man to her, he had been a pawn used to reach the Sun Country.

By the end of that day, Mio had decided to leave him be. He had needed the time to cool off, which had paid off. Despite that, she had not slept as comfortably as she wanted at his side. They had only a few inches between them, but the gap had felt quite larger than it was. Her heart had ached.

That had not changed during their first night in the Sun Country, but they had been communicating because they had to speak about their observations. Their exchanges had been professional, nothing more.

Mio entered the guestroom towel drying her hair after a warm bath. She still worried about Yayoi, though she had spent all of her time trying to help her calm down after she nearly attacked Mahiro. He had overstepped the line with her and had acknowledged that around lunchtime, apologizing, but the damage had already been dealt. Yayoi had sulked and glared at him when their eyes met. He had taken to apologizing to her each time their eyes had met. Mio had asked her to stop altogether.

She sat down in front of her bag, rummaging through it to organize it in order to spend the time. She didn't completely trust Mikazuki Mahiro. With the way he had acted when she had last visited the Sun Country, she found it hard to believe that he had such a great change. Still, she gave him the benefit of the doubt, but only because she believed in Rikuto.

Her mind reluctantly returned to her fight with Madara. She tried to push it aside for another day. They were capable of acting professional until all the loose strings in the Sun Country were tied, so the mission was not in any danger. She could keep her focus going until she was alone. She didn't have control of her thoughts then. She wanted to solve the problem. Proud as she was when she made the declaration that she wouldn't, she didn't like this. They had been fighting before. They had been fighting since they married. It made her feel terrible.

What were they doing wrong?

Why couldn't they get along?

Was it not meant to be? No. She would never accept that. She chose Madara and he chose her. She loved him and he loved her. She would be enough. No matter what anyone said, she would be enough.

you cannot anchor him

Yes, but she was stubborn.

Behind her, the door slid apart and Madara entered, shutting the shoji behind him quietly.

"Mahiro explained the current locations of his scouring teams," said Madara. "Two of them will return tomorrow morning with new information."

"Okay," she answered quietly, not looking up.

"Are you still feeling sick?"

"It helps being on land," she answered. She tried not to get her hopes up with the promise of conversation. "I'm worried about Yayoi."

"Yes, she's the perfect target here."

"I should have sent her back," admitted Mio. "She isn't safe here. Her mind is a mess. She won't be able to read pathways that way."

"Can you do anything about it?"

"I kept the Fate Sphere with me to be safe." She would speak to Yayoi, keep her busy and calm. She would do well if she remained focused, but everything seemed to be weighing heavily on her.

Madara took a seat a few feet away from her at the squared table. He quietly observed her as she tucked her things away in her bag, arranging it all neatly. It made her a little nervous being under his scrutiny. She felt younger suddenly and very conscious. This castle brought her memories of a different kind. They kissed within these walls for the first time. The moment was the centerpiece of a violent scene. She realized there that something strong and binding drew them together and her heartbeat accelerated at the very thought.

She loved him then without understanding what it meant to love someone as she did him. She never had faith she would find someone that she wanted to be with so badly. She always imagined a pleasant union with a tolerable individual with a good personality awaited her in the future.

However, that had been before her experiences in the Sun Country. Madara made her feel such strange and intense emotions. He made it impossible for her not to feel something for him. She liked everything about him, even the side people feared and hated, even the side that he showed her now. She liked the precision of his fighting style, his devotion to his training, and his love for his brother. She loved his kindness and his love for his clan.

She wanted to know when her feelings towards him changed. Had it been in the Sun Country? Or had it happened before that?

Mio didn't noticed when Madara scooted closer to her until she felt his fingers brush against the side of her head as he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Her body's immediate reaction was to blush, thought abandoning her.

"You're flushed."

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head, gently cupping her face in his hands. He moved in to kiss her, but she turned away, removing his hands from her face. Her face burned a brighter shade of red as she stared down at the tatami mat between them.

Understanding her actions as rejection, Madara grumbled an apology and stood up. He took a towel and robe with him on his way out, informing her that he would be going out for a bath.

"Don't wait up," he said, her back was to him.

Mio suppressed a sob. What was she doing? Why was this happening again? Why was everything so hellbent on dissolving?

She swallowed hard and waited for the urge to cry to subside. She stood up to pull the futon from out of the closet and set two of them side-by-side. After finishing, she thought the room was spinning and opened the window to let in the cool air.

The guesthouses sat in the inner castle surrounding the tower and they overlooked a courtyard filled with sweet smelling fruit trees. Her room with Madara was on the ground floor and was very spacey. Mahiro had initially booked them in separate bedrooms, but upon hearing of their marriage, he accommodated them accordingly.

She felt sick. Fear crept in shortly after the idea of being ill settled because that meant she might need another of her long sleeps to recover. Perhaps, it was about drinking more concoction. Either way, she would be weak and indisposed for some time.

"You are looking quite pale, Mio." She startled at the sound of a familiar and approaching voice and turned to catch sight of Eishirou as he sauntered towards her. He grinned. "Did I startle you? My, I will consider that an honor."

She ignored him outright. He was the last person she wanted to deal with, being the reason for all her most recent problems.

"So, are you sick?"

"This is my natural complexion."

He laughed. "Lovely."

Mio noted the watchful eyes of every shinobi that roamed the property. Several Uchiha stood guard around the guesthouses to ensure the protection of their leaders, though they were less concern for her because most were in cahoots with the elders that wanted to see Madara married to someone better suited for the title of mistress of the clan. They didn't bother her as always. She didn't need their protection and she didn't ask for it. The Kuronuma that accompanied them, though they were taking direct orders from Akira, whom Takuto assigned and she approved, naturally joined the other round-the-clock guards to make sure no attacks against her happened. She had asked Akira to keep most of their watchers to oversee Yayoi because she had been forced to separate from Keigo. Asking Mahiro to keep Keigo inside the tower would have roused unnecessary suspicion on their part, so she hadn't.

If the Mikazuki were their enemies truly, she'd rather they think they were stupid and completely defenseless. She wouldn't trust anyone at the helm that wasn't Rikuto.

"It is quite lovely, you know," continued Eishirou, drawing her attention back to his narrowed amber eyes, "your natural complexion, I mean."

"You truly do not care that I have a husband, do you?" she asked, annoyed. She tried not to show it in her face, but she didn't feel like she succeeded.

"I wouldn't care if you had a hundred," he answered. "I am very determined when it comes to getting my way."

"I don't like pushy men."

Eishirou combed his messy blond hair back while leaning into the window, the shorter strands fell back onto his forehead.

He averted his eyes, still grinning. "I'll grow on you."

"Stop," she said firmly. "I've had enough."

"Have you? Is that only for tonight? Will you be teasing me tomorrow evening like you did on my ship?" he asked, eyeing her. He turned his body to face her. "Are you using me? Is that what you're saying? That you're keeping me complacent because you brought me here full of bruises and if Mahiro caught wind of it, you suspect he wouldn't be quite so kind to your presence. After all, you are the Uchiha that ruined everything, are you not? That little Motou brat said it. He wasn't wrong, was he?"

"It's subjective—"

"If you're naïve to think that you will only live for that one man, you're wrong," he told her. "You need to expand your horizons, see out into the world, because you'll never know when you'll fall out of love with him. He might not love you for long either. You're young, he's young, and maybe I'm the one for you. Perhaps, there is another woman out there for him and you're just the stepping stone to get to her."

She bristled. "Maybe you're not."

"He is your first love, isn't he?"

Mio hated the question for having gotten a reaction out of her. Her entire face heated up.

"Women are always so attached to their firsts. It's understandable. Very endearing too." Eishirou took a step back away from her window. "Of course, none of that will matter after I make you mine."

"I hate repeating myself—"

"Don't."

"—I won't be yours."

Eishirou returned to his previous position with a different air about him. "Do you honestly think you have a choice in the matter?" He shook his head. "No, Mio, you don't. You made one mistake and that was bringing me here. How do you think Mahiro will react if he knew that you Uchiha took over my territory? What will he do when he learns that you're not here to help them but to help yourselves?"

Her heart was racing. "Are you threatening me?"

"Yes," he admitted shamelessly. "Remember that while you may not be the Mikazuki clan's enemy now, you could be later. So, do try to get used to the idea that you will be mine because that's going to be the only way you won't end up dead like the rest of your people."

Eishirou laughed, effervescently, as if she had told him a joke and walked away down a narrow path through the trees where he bowed his head in acknowledgement of a shinobi, one that stared back at her with displeasure.

Uchiha Seijun grimaced upon meeting her eyes and turned away, continuing his patrol.

Mio sighed, feeling her stomach drop as she slid down to her knees in front of the open window, resting her head atop its wooden border. She couldn't believe Eishirou had the audacity to threaten her. She should have just killed him. Madara would have done it. He wouldn't have hesitated or waited for him to finish his threat. Yet the thought of doing so made her hands tremble. She was hesitant. Too hesitant.

She couldn't let past mistakes repeat themselves.

Also, Eishirou turning up dead would not lead to good consequences. He and Mahiro seemed close. Mahiro was odd enough being so hospitable. Frankly, she preferred him when she knew he would slit her throat in the night if she dropped her guard. This made him harder to read. Was he willing to be on her side? Was he still against her? She wanted to prove the Mikazuki clan's innocence in their war against the Ishiki clan, but she couldn't do it with Mahiro acting as their leader in Rikuto's absence.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, Mio decided to sleep. She thought it might be easier to do so, but she only realized how late it was and how Madara had not returned.

She fell asleep for a few minutes before the nightmare startled her awake. She breathed deeply, her heart hammering, reminded of the familiar wreckage of Nishiki's castle and the sound of her voice calling out to her grandfather a split second before Gouki took advantage of her hesitation to kill him. She dreamt her nightmares on an endless loop. Guilt played a part in their manifestation. She woke asking herself the same questions she always did. If she hadn't been Shugosha, her parents wouldn't have had to die. If she hadn't been weak, Eito, Okimi, and Enya wouldn't have had to die. If she hadn't been herself, her great-grandfather wouldn't have had to die. If she hadn't hesitated, her grandfather would have lived. He would have been there with her, guiding her through vague advice and pushing her.

She wished she knew that she was doing the right thing when she created the eleventh artifact. She swore she would destroy the artifacts to make sure they don't fall into the wrong hands, but maybe she had saddled herself with more than she could handle. She was one person. She wasn't strong. She was lacking in many things. It was another reckless decision. She heard about it incessantly after having done it, but she had to believe it was for a good reason. She was doing this for the people she had left. She didn't want to lose anymore of her family or friends. She wanted to stick around for as long as she needed to make sure they were always safe.

Maybe it was all a stupid mistake. Going on that journey was costing her now. Saori nearly died because information about it got out. She couldn't even clean up her mess or allow someone else to do it.

Mio heard the door rattle open and then shut. She lifted her upper body and saw Madara shuffling in. She returned her head to the pillow, keeping her body in the same position, and waited for him to get into the futon beside her.

He knelt down on it, but reached over to her side. "Mio?"

She turned to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and she caught the faint scent of sake on his breath. She didn't suspect he was so inebriated that he wasn't conscious of what he was saying, but did assume that he had taken up Mahiro's offer from that afternoon. "I trust you. I don't trust anyone more than you."

She opened her arms to him. He sank into them, resting his face against her neck. His cheek was hot against her flesh. He breathed in deeply and exhaled, the warm breath tickled her collarbone. She held him, feeling her heart fall into a calmer rhythm.

"Thank you," she said, raking her fingers through his hair. It was slightly damp, mostly wind dried, and of a smooth texture.

Madara climbed over her legs to rest on his side to her right. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

Mio tugged out the thick cover from under him and threw it over him. "Did you sit down for a drink with Mahiro?"

"I figured we could use as much information on him as possible," he said lazily. "He isn't the type of person that inspires trust."

"You aren't either."

He lifted himself up swiftly and demanded, "What?"

"You don't have the face for it," she deadpanned, though she only meant to tease him. "You look very menacing. Not at all friendly."

"Is that what you think? Should I start acting like an idiot so people start trusting me?"

"It seems to work for Mahiro, so why not?"

Madara grimaced. "I'm impressed that you have no interest in hiding your dislike for that man."

"I tend not to care for people that threaten my wellbeing," she answered, remind of Eishirou.

"What about Ikki?" asked Madara.

"We have to prepare Yayoi for the worst." She hated to think about it, but if Ikki was loyal to the Mikazuki clan to the point he made an attempt against them, he would need to be disposed of, so Yayoi would have to be prepared to take the hit. "I don't think Yayoi is ready to take a significant loss."

"Were you?" he questioned, making his point clear.

"As natural as death is in this land, I don't think we, as humans, will ever be ready to suffer any loss, but I do believe we grow numb to it." It doesn't hurt as much as it did after it happened; one underwent the appropriate mourning period for them and learned from the experience how to ignore it. She often found herself reminded of the deaths of her family—the bloody images merging into a collage of violence that flashed in and out of darkness—she understood that closing her eyes, breathing in and out deeply, always gave her enough time to take it from her mind and to tear the sting of pain from her heart.

She would like to save Yayoi the heartache if she could.

Madara slid his hand to her hip and pulled her, turning her so she faced him. "You don't need to worry about that."

He made it sound so easy, as if he had the ability to command those things. Although he didn't, she believed him.

She initiated a kiss. She moved closer, sealing even the smallest gaps between them with keen awareness of the heat that had slowly built-up between them. He brought his hands to her face as he lifted his upper body over hers making her twist so half her back touched the futon. He guided her arms and legs until she unconsciously wrapped around him. She wanted to feel the pleasure of his touch, but knew that if they indulged in their desires, they would have no sleep. And yet, she felt quite tempted to give up sleep to experience the thrilling ecstasy of the pleasure he gave her.

She tried not to think about it as he kissed her deeply. Despite knowing that his hands were fixed on her waist, there were moments as his tongue delved into her mouth filling her taste buds with the familiarity of rice wine that it felt they were roaming her body instead. She imagined them sliding up her breasts, brushing accidentally across her nipples, or dipping low, touching her ass before moving down between her legs. She suppressed the urge to moan into his mouth. If she did, she would lose it.

Kissing would suffice. She attempted to keep her mind from wandering by thinking up a range of things, situations, and people that would kill her libido because the heat that had risen up to her face seemed to have pooled between her legs just as quickly.

Madara drew back, running his thumb across her bottom lip. It felt like a thousand tiny volts of electricity prickling. She naturally tensed.

"We should sleep," he said.

Mio nodded, feeling a strange prick in her chest, and breathlessly said, "Are you sure?"

"We have to be up at dawn, I'm sure."

She went to sleep that night convinced he was doing this to tease her, though she couldn't help but notice that he had fallen asleep long before she even felt like she could. She curled up beside him, seeking comfort in the warmth of his body.

you are cursed…this is your curse

The morning light pouring across her face woke her the following day. She didn't want it to be dawn because she wanted to stay in bed for another hour or five. She was tired and weak and in need of more sleep.

Despite her somnolence, Mio washed her face with cold water as soon as she dragged herself out of the futon and patted it dry, yawning every few minutes, as Madara stared at the ceiling half asleep.

She offered him water to drink, sensing his own lethargy. His limbs probably felt like they weighed ten times what he was accustomed to each morning. "No more sake."

He took the cup from her hands and drank deeply. "Thank you."

Mio checked the window, observed the new patrol that covered building and spotted Mao's bobbed hair as she was giving orders to another Kuronuma. "Mao's rotation."

Madara yawned, nodding.

She raised her eyes to the sky, the clouds were stubborn in keeping the sun's light from shining but bars of illumination made it through trying to brighten the castle despite the fog. The weather wouldn't be good either.

"It'll rain."

The morning breeze felt like pins and needles on her skin. She shuddered and shut the window before returning to the futon. She sat down between his legs and leaned back against his chest. She realized shortly that she wasn't feeling well after all.

Madara touched her neck with the back of his fingers, brushing gently against her skin. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "You're cold."

"Mm?"

"Mio?"

"I just need to drink Takuto's concoction."

He moved around her and reached for her bag at the foot of the futon. He set it on her lap and rummaged through it until he brought out the jug that held the medicine. He held it out to her.

She drank the small dosage begrudgingly and corked the jug, stuffing it back into her bag before throwing it back to its original place. She could feel its burn long after she swallowed it. She would be able to stabilize her body temperature in another hour. She needed to concentrate a lot of chakra to do so and she'd be exhausted for the rest of the day.

"Rest," he told her, "I'll increase the number of shinobi patrolling the building and tell you what I learn after I return."

She didn't fight it. If she could have the extra hours, she would take them. "Okay."

"I'll ask Yayoi and Keigo to keep you company."

"I thought you wanted me to rest."

He laughed. "Watch your children, Mio."

Mio groaned, pushing away from him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Seijun mentioned seeing you with Eishirou last night."

She expected no less of Seijun. She expected the rest of the clan would react just as scandalized as she imagined Seijun was after he told Madara.

"Eishirou is the reason we've been fighting, do you want to talk about him?" asked Mio bluntly. "I never expected you to be jealous." She was teasing him. Jealous was an understatement. He threatened to kill others for even looking at her wrong. He killed Yayoi's father because of her. "Never mind. I was naïve to think you weren't."

"I'm not jealous," he snapped.

She gave him a long, disapproving stare.

His face flushed. "I don't like the way other men look at you! That is it! That's not jealousy!"

"If women looked at you in the same way that you think men look—"

"Think, Mio?" he interjected. "I am not blind. I can see."

"—at me, I wouldn't overreact like you have," she finished, ignoring his interruption completely.

"You have not been in a situation where I am the one asked to seduce a woman."

"And I won't ever be," said Mio confidently. "You will assign one of our many talented sleuths to see that the job is done."

"What? You think I can't seduce women?"

"You have me to seduce and you can't even do that properly," she deadpanned, feeling a little adverse to the thought of him seducing other women. She lived a simpler life imagining all women feared him, which wasn't far from the truth.

However, she would be fooling herself if she truly believed Madara had not been with any other women because he had. She had caught him kissing a girl when they were younger. She had told Izuna and Izuna had teased him mercilessly until Madara had retaliated against her for spreading the word. Sachiyo had not been too pleased to find the destruction that she saw that late summer afternoon. They had been punished for weeks.

Madara's face turned bright red. "Shut up!" he shouted. "Did you forget last night? You were practically on top of me!"

Mio's embarrassment hit its peak. "That was not sexual at all! I was happy we were on better terms!"

"I know when you're lying!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"You're shouting at me!"

There was a brief moment spent calming down. Mio didn't realize she was yelling until he brought attention to it.

"So, what did Eishirou want?" asked Madara calmly.

"Me," she answered. "He sounded very sure that I would be his. He had the audacity to threaten me."

"Threatened you?"

"He said that even if the Mikazuki clan wasn't my enemy, they would be after he revealed that we took over his territory and forced him here." Mio wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ignore him. Let him talk. Let me continue handling him. He needs to continue believing we are fighting and that he can tempt me. It's better that he thinks he can get away with threatening me."

Madara nodded.

"He can't tempt me," she told him, reading the discomfort in his expression.

"I won't hate him less."

She nuzzled his neck, feeling the tension in his shoulders melt away as her relaxed to her attentions. "I don't want to talk about him. You should get out of bed and go."

"You should get into bed then," he said, though his arms that encircled her body and held her on his lap made no move to release her.

She kissed the base of his throat teasingly. She parted her lips against the skin, sucking against it lightly to not leave any marks. He moved his head to the side as he helped hoist her body closer against his.

"Stop teasing," he said, not sounding as convincing as he would have wanted. "I need to go. I don't have much time to spare."

She left many open-mouthed kisses on his throat. "Then go," she urged him, speaking between each press of her lips. "Who is stopping you?"

"You are."

"I'm not physically pinning you down, though that is not to say that I can't." She drew her hand down the nape of his neck and laughed lightly. "If I did, you really wouldn't be able to leave." She saw that she could tempt him to stay, but she backed away with a smile curling on her lips as she loosened her grip. "But I won't. Go. Have a good morning. Bring me back as much information as you can. We can continue where we left off after we return home."

He took one of her hands and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm. There was a dark, playful glint in his narrowed eyes. She shuddered when his teeth grazed her skin, his tongue warm against the inside of her hand running between her forefinger and middle finger. She became aware all at once of the heat seeping from his skin and of his half-hardened shaft beneath her.

He pulled her hand away and leaned close to her ear. "We'll continue this tonight," he whispered, her heart raced a mile a minute. "You can wait, can't you?" His cheek brushed against hers, his voice low. "You're trembling, Mio."

"You cry," the husky voice whispered against her ear, his hand kept her face pinned to the pillow. The weight on her back was unbearable. His grunts were consistent with each of his thrusts. "But look at you, Mio, you're quivering. Have you started to enjoy yourself?"

Mio's mind went black. Why did she remember that now?

we experience tragedy and it makes us stronger

Her entire body seized up and in her empty head, she perceived a flash of green in a shroud of black. Her heart jolted at the same time she did. She pushed hard against Madara's chest, falling back on the tatami, and sucked in a noisy breath. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her lungs as she struggled to breathe for the first time in half a year, her entire body lost to the convulsions of fright. Her vision blurred with tears that rolled down her cheeks as she sat frozen in place, aching.

Madara grabbed her arms and she recoiled—instinctively, violently, and full of pain. She hated the reaction. It embarrassed her. Yet in that moment, his touch, brief as it was, reminded her of his. He moved to the window quickly, opening it.

"Mao! Fetch Yayoi!"

She wheezed, growing scared as she realized she couldn't regulate her breathing. She didn't remember how. She knew all of these different methods to calm herself, but they all escaped her in that moment. She sank down onto the ground, urging her lungs to breath in oxygen, but her mind was plagued with terrible memories.

"Mio," said Madara. She heard him close and wanted to apologize. She felt the brush of his fingers over hers and reached to take his hand in hers. "Breath in, Mio. Breathe in deeply."

She couldn't move. Her lungs were paralyzed. And the room grew darker quickly.

And then, there was nothing…just a voice echoing to a backdrop of her painful struggle.

defiance will get you nowhere

A cold droplet dragged her subconscious from the nightmare and the soft clink of jewelry moving along with its owner coaxed her eyes open. She blinked a number of times, waking slowly to the familiar ceiling of the guestroom covered in heavy shadows, and turned her head to watch Yayoi as she squeezed the water from a washcloth into a wide bowl, her gold bracelets sat angled at her slim wrists shifting ever so slightly so the gems touched making noise with her movements.

The priestess smiled as she placed the damp cloth over her forehead. "You had another fit."

"Where is Madara?" she asked, her throat was dry. She wanted to apologize to him for pushing him away.

"He went with Mahiro earlier."

She would have plenty of time to apologize.

"He told me you drank your dose of concoction, too," added Yayoi. "Your temperature is a bit higher than it usually is, so I've been helping you cool down. You just need to rest up. Let me take care of you."

"Thank you."

"You were talking in your sleep," said Yayoi.

"Was I?"

"You said a lot of things over and over."

"What did I say?"

"Do not anchor him. Defiance will get you nowhere. You are cursed. This is your curse. Stop fooling yourself. We experience tragedy and it makes us stronger." Yayoi's eyebrows furrowed as she finished repeating the words. "You said those a lot. Were you having a nightmare?"

Mio carried the weight of those words deep inside. She didn't believe them. She stubbornly expressed a desire to show that they were meaningless and that she had not been born into the world bearing someone else's curse. The woman that had uttered those words had asked her to protect her heart.

yours will fall apart to the touch—

She had been determined to prove that she could be the difference. She had been in bliss knowing this, the certainty had given her a boost in confidence that she never had, but she had started to doubt things recently. That had brought those awful memories to light.

"If someone told you that your war was at the precipice of a larger conflict that involved someone you care for deeply, assuring you that no matter who you are, no matter what you do, that person will be swept away by something deeper, darker, sinister in them," started Mio monotonously, "would you be able to abandon them? Would you be able to love them passively knowing they will no longer be in your reach? Would you be able to live your life beside them peacefully for the short time that fate has allowed you to keep them? What would you do?"

"Did someone say that to you?" asked Yayoi, concerned.

"Yes."

"Well, do you believe it?"

The question alone brought tears to her eyes. Her chest was being ripped apart by the fear. She turned her face away, ashamed of her weakness. "Sometimes, deep down," she started tearfully, "I feel like they are right. I will not be enough." She covered her face with her hand, sobbing. "I want to be enough, Yayoi. I want to be enough to make him stay because I'm scared that I'm not. I'm afraid that he will look back to all of this mess and throw me aside."

"Mio…? Are you talking about Madara? But…he loves you! Why wouldn't you be enough? You might argue a little, but everyone argues and you make up so easily. He loves you so much, Mio." The priestess grew angry. "Who would anyone put these thoughts in your head? Who would say this to you?"

"My mother."

"Your mother?" asked Yayoi, taken aback.

"Kiyohime."


xl: Pieces of Mio's journey are coming to light. There's a lot that happened during that journey that will make a lot of things make sense. I'm in the process of writing that all out, but I haven't decided how I'm going to present it. There are two options I'm vying - one is that it'll come up after this arc ends or two that it will be after the next one after this one ends. I'll be asking for opinions when that comes up.

As of right now, I've organized my outline of this arc and made outlines for every chapter until the conclusion of this one. You can say I'm prioritizing this story because I want to get it done as quickly as possible so that I can have something to post on a weekly basis before school gets too hectic. I am also working on Mio's journey chapters simultaneously. Overall, I'm very excited about this arc. I have been for the longest. Now, all I want to do is execute it right! .

That being said, a bit of a warning concerning the upcoming chapters. Each chapter jumps POVs. For example, ch 13 is Mio's, ch 14 is Yayoi's, ch 15 is Madara, and ch 16 is Takuto. You might be thinking that it sounds insane, but I promise that when you see the bigger picture, it will be worth it! And also, Takuto is going to be a POV character.! I was debating between Takuto and Akihiko. Admittedly, I was leaning more towards Akihiko, but I think Takuto deserves his own POV, plus I'm going to need him to be the balance because after this arc, the story gets a little Madara POV heavy and I'm going to panic! Hahaha

So, yes, I'll be doing my best to write ahead for this one!

Moving on, many thanks to Misora Asuka for reviewing the previous chapter!

Also, to anyone that is interested, there's a Madara POV companion piece to this chapter that I'm going to be posting on my livejournal (under Jigsaw) as soon as I finish editing it. It was supposed to be chapter 14, but I had to move his POV one chapter over and it didn't make sense to keep it in, so I had to take it out.

Anyhoot, thank you for reading! :D