PART: 2 {Zatch Bell}
I've never felt depressed before. Not like this at least. I flattened my hands on the floor and laid on my stomach, resting my chin on their backs. I sent Zeno out to get Vulcan three hours earlier. It takes fifteen minutes to get to the tree and maybe thirty more to catch yellowtail and get back. I was beginning to get worried as my windows flew open, letting a strong wind blow throw my curtains and smack me in the face. I didn't want to believe that something awful might have happened, so I waited.
More hours past. Soon, I began to count the days. Ten at least since I let him go. I clenched my fists and marched out, letting the free leaves and dead flowers to hurdle toward me in the harsh wind. Finally, I arrived at the path. I stood still before it and squinted as I looked past all of the trees. I saw the cherry blossom tree, but I couldn't see anyone there. My heart began to drop into a pool of its own emotion, but I stopped it and continued on. "He'll be there, probably caught in something," I said to myself as I approached the tree. "Everything will be just fine!"
Finally, I stood at the tree's base. I stared at the grass with regret as I spotted a darkened square shape. That's where I left Vulcan, I was sure, but where was it? I looked all around, but there was no sign of Zeno or Vulcan. No footprints, no sounds, nothing.
There was a small park not too far from the blossom tree. Three younger children were playing there, so I marched over in hopes of gaining some information as to where Zeno had run off to. "I'm looking for my brother," I said to one of the children. They all stopped to look at me as I spoke."He looks just like me, but he has silver hair and purple eyes." I went on with his description, pointing to my hair and eyes as indicated. All of it was for naught, however. It seemed like none of them knew who I was talking about. In defeat, I lowered my head and dragged my feet as I walked home.
It seemed much colder than it did before, I thought once I walked inside. I rubbed my cold arms as the built up emotion finally showed up in the form of cold tears. As they streamed down my cheeks, I continued to think positively. "I'll go to school tomorrow and Zeno will be in his normal seat, I just know it!" I continued to say to myself. But, no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did or said, the flow of sadness, worry, and fear pressed on into a salty puddle at my feet. Slowly, but surely, I could feel the world around me getting dimmer. I could no longer see the sun peering out through the clouds. Instead, it was just the wan, grey sky and the cold, angry wind. Not like it was before.
I just wanted to get the day over with so I could get up for school and test my theory, so I went ahead and crawled up to my bed. Once I was settled, I let the sound of my own cries lull me to sleep.
-I'm sorry-
Laughter. Lots of it. It was Zeno's voice. I smiled and laughed with my brother when I finally became aware, but when I really took the time to look around, I saw it. This was before he had gone to search for Vulcan. We were just having fun. We were talking and laughing like we always did. I didn't notice it before, but as I looked carefully at Zeno's eyes, I could see that there was something off about them. He wasn't smiling but smirking. And by the tiny movement of his eyes, as they shifted to the left, I could see that it wasn't me that he was looking at. I turned around to see what it was, but there was nothing there. Just an empty wall with a few scratch marks and stray thumb tacks. I turned back to look at Zeno, this time, he was quite obviously looking at me. "Looking for something?" He asked calmly. His voice was uncomfortably relaxed and it made me squirm where I sat.
"I left Vulcan at the tree," I said with an unconscious pout. He laughed and offered to go get it for me. This was painfully familiar. I opened my mouth to reject his offer or even make my own suggestion to go on the trip with him, but when I tried to speak, no sound emerged from my throat. I couldn't say a word, no matter how hard or how loudly I tried to say "No". It was only when I gave into his offer and let him leave the house that my voice was returned to me. As I had feared, I had no choice in the matter. He was gone and I let him go...
-I'll find him for you. I cross my heart-
As he walked out, I looked over my shoulder once more and sighed. Still nothing. I had no idea what it was he was looking at, but it frightened me. It wasn't normal to smirk at an empty wall. Especially not like that; not like there was someone or something there. As I was beginning to question it, the gust of wind returned and came to slap me across the face just as it did the first time. I closed my eyes and made my way to the window to close it, but when I took my first step, I fell and hit my head. When I opened my eyes again, I was in bed. The window was closed, and the sun had already set. "A dream.," I whispered in a bit of relief. I glanced at the clock over the door. 3:15 A.M. I sighed and rested my head back on my pillow. "I'll find him. I know I will."
On my way to school, I kept a smile on my face. I swapped out the fear and worry for confidence and a bit of excitement. I even began to plan the conversation I would have with him once I saw him. "Why did you take so long? Did you fall in the river again?" I said out loud. I giggled at the thought and continued to skip along. When I stood in front of the school building, all of that confidence was taken from me; like snatching a pacifier out of the mouth of an infant. I found myself getting smaller and smaller as I continued to stare at the school house. Because what if he wasn't there? What would I do then without him? I contained the tears that beat on my eyes and walked inside. I weaved past all of the other mamodo and sat in my usual seat. Zeno usually sat right beside me, so I kept my eyes glued to his chair and waited.
I waited and waited. Class went on, and Zeno never came to fill the empty seat next to me. Slowly, that small hole in my heart began to grow until I feared that there wouldn't be much left of it.
"Zatch?" The woman called. When I returned to the present and looked up at the class, I quickly learned that everyone was staring at me. How long had I been caught up with my thoughts? "Yes, ma'am?" I replied, trying to keep hidden the lump in my throat. I couldn't exactly hear what she had to say, but as I put stray words together, it sounded like I was going to be the prince role in the school play. I had no problem with that, but it was only when she had finished giving out roles and failed to acknowledge Zeno's absence did I start to feel rather uneasy.
When the bell finally rang, I lowered my head once again and started my painful, lonely walk home. At the halfway mark, I began to hear the faint sound of footsteps coming from behind me. I didn't think much of it at first, but then I realized that Zeno and I were the only mamodo that came this way after school. I turned my head a bit to check, but there was nothing there, so I continued my walk. Once again, I heard the footsteps at a louder volume. I looked over my shoulder again. There still was nothing. I mumbled under my breath and began to quicken my pace. For the third time, I heard the sound of shoes crushing the dry dirt and I turned my whole body completely to see what was making the noise.
I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw Zeno before me. He was paler than usual, of course, but it was definitely him. Around his neck was a funny necklace. It was ugly looking and looked like he made it out of some thick, old rope. It was cut off at the end. As some of the rope hung over his chest, I could tell by the jagged ends that it extended further than it did. When I looked back up at his face, he smiled peacefully at me. I wanted to be excited. I found my brother, after all, but for whatever reason, I didn't feel very good about finding him. Pushing my thoughts aside, I smiled back at him and watched as he lifted his white little hands. In one hand he held Vulcan, not a single scratch on him, and in the other, he held a yellowtail fish.
I took them in amazement and began scanning the items for clues of any sort. When I looked up, there it was again; that look. He wasn't looking at me but to the right of me. I shifted my eyes, but it was empty, just like it was in my dream. Nothing but cold, damp air. And, just as before, when I returned my eyes to him, he looked at me like nothing at all had happened.
-Looking for something?-
I set the past behind me and let everything go. I hugged him and cried on his shoulder. I told him how afraid I was, and how lonely I felt. He comforted me just like a big brother should. After everything, we began to talk and laugh again like normal as we walked back home.
