May you hear every song in the forest
And if ever you lose your own way
Hear my voice like a breeze,
Whisper soft through the trees
May you stay in the arms of the angels
May you grow up to stand as a man, love
With the pride of your family and name
When you lay down your head
Or to rest in your bed
May you stay in the arms of the angels
Maggie Siff – Lullaby for a Soldier
Aeron waited silently, hoping that Dean would be able to process the information, and that he didn't shove her off the bed for saying the words out loud. She was almost certain that her words would scare him off, that he would laugh in her face and walk right out the door. Dean Winchester was not your run of the mill monogamous man, and to be honest, that's not what she was asking for. Her only reason for vocalizing her love for him was so that he knew. He had been raised a soldier, and had been treated as such. While John had loved both Sam and Dean, he had been so completely caught up in finding the yellow-eyed demon, that showing his children love had taken a very far back seat.
Dean stopped breathing as her words hit his ears. It took him several seconds to process the information and he wasn't sure how to respond. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard those words, and to be honest, he wasn't entirely sure he had ever said them himself. When he had been living in the alternate reality, courtesy of the Djinn, he hadn't even been able to utter the words to his mother. His fingers continued to caress a strand of her hair as he contemplated his next step. He knew he loved her, with every fiber of his being, he loved her. The only thing that held him back from saying it out loud and admitting it to her was his actions over the years. How could he have acted the way he had, done the things he had, been with as many women as he had, if he loved her? He wasn't sure he had an answer to those questions. He finally opened his mouth to respond when he felt her pull away.
Aeron moved to look at him, supporting her weight on her right elbow. She looked in his eyes, seeing the internal conflict, and although it pained her, she knew she was pushing him in a direction he wasn't entirely comfortable with. He opened his mouth to speak, and fearing what he would he would say, along with the pain that would come with it, she placed a finger against her lips.
"Shhh…" she whispered. "It's okay, I understand."
"Aeron," he paused, "I…"
"No, really," she leaned in and kissed him softly, "I shouldn't have said anything, I shouldn't have changed the story." She moved away from him and went to stand. His hand closed around her bicep, pulling her back onto the bed, his eyes staring into hers.
Dean didn't know what to say. He hated the look in her eyes, and hated that he was the cause of it even more. And still, he was unable to utter the three little words, the eight letters, that she wanted to hear and that he honestly wanted to say. Instead, he pulled her body against his own, his lips seeking hers. He kissed her desperately, feeding off her, pouring everything he had into the kiss. He pulled away slowly, his eyes on hers, hoping that somehow she would understand what he was trying to convey.
She woke up several hours later as the sun was rising over the horizon, shining directly on her face. At least it had stopped raining. She turned over, her hand searching out the warmth of Dean's body, and found cool sheets. She sat up, looking around the room, not seeing him anywhere in the small space. Her heart leapt into her throat as the thought of him leaving her in the middle of the night ran through her mind. She stood up, gathering the sheet around her body, and made her way to the front door. She stepped out onto the porch and when her eyes landed on the Impala, she let out a sigh of relief.
"Think I'd left?" a voice asked from behind her.
"Honestly?" she asked, turning around to look at him, "Yes."
Dean nodded and rubbed his hands over his face. Truth was he had thought about it. Leaving in the middle of the night was a hell of a lot better than having to say good-bye to her again. It was easier when he just walked away. It was easier when he just sort of disappeared. He looked beyond her to the forest beyond them, his senses picking up on even the faintest of sounds, smells, and tastes. This is what he wanted. Peace. Far away from "civilization."
"I have to go back…" he trailed off as he stood up.
Aeron nodded her head, running a hand through her hair. She looked up at him as he took a step toward her. He placed his hand on her cheek and ran his thumb along her cheekbone. She placed her hands on his shoulders and rising up onto her tiptoes; placed a light kiss on his lips.
"I know you won't listen, but be careful, and if you need anything," she stressed the last word, "call me and I will be there." She frowned at his look. "I mean it Dean. I can help you fight this thing. I may not have been chosen by God to stop the world from ending, but I'm fully capable of kicking some demon ass and helping out."
Dean hadn't told her that it was because of him the world was on the brink of destruction. If it hadn't been for his weakness, God wouldn't have needed him back to end it all.
"I'll call you…" he stopped, laughing at her look of disbelief, "I promise. I'll call if we need your help. I just…"
"Just call."
Dean nodded his head, kissing her gently before turning to go back into the cabin to gather his things. Aeron remained on the porch, taking the seat Dean had vacated. It was easier not watching him pack up. She looked out over the land, listening to the chirping of the birds that fluttered in and out of the leave of the trees, and suddenly she felt a crush of fear settle upon her. She closed her eyes, trying to fight off the feeling, and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey," Dean said quietly, "Are you okay?"
"Hmm?" she murmured, turning to look at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." She said, glancing back at the forest. "Just zoned out, I guess."
"I better go," he said picking up his duffle and nodding towards his car.
"Right," she said, following him to the Impala. "I meant what I said, Dean." She said as he opened the car door and threw his bag into the back seat. "If you need anything, call me." She placed a hand on the car door as he slid into the driver's seat.
"I will, I promise."
She leaned in to give him a kiss, savoring the taste of him, the texture, the intoxication she felt when she was around him, before pulling away and stepping back, her hands tightening on the sheet around her body. Dean closed the door and rolled down the window as he started the engine.
"Be safe Dean."
"You too Aeron," he said quietly, pausing for a second, his eyes on hers, before shifting the car into gear and slowly pulled away. He watched her form slowly away through the rear-view mirror, and with a sigh he settled into the seat and flicked on the stereo, turning the volume as high as he could stand it.
