I have to apologize again for not answering reviews for chapter 14. I read them all, I loved them all, but my busy real life kept me from you. I'm so very sorry.
Chapter 15
There's a slight shake to his aim, a faint hint of worry in his eye.
Advantage: me.
"I think a better question is why are you in my room?" I ask, a tinge of boredom to my voice, a tool I find useful when wanting to make the other party second guess themselves.
"Why were you following me?
"I was waiting for an opportunity to make a pass at you."
He looks startled. "Really?"
He's now for sure confirmed my thoughts that he's the biggest blockhead I've ever run across. "I like the way your butt looked in the shorts you had on."
He tightens his hold on the gun and moves it an inch higher, clearly unamused. "Do you want to be shot?"
"Not particularly, but judging from today, I doubt you could even hit me from this close range."
"You have ten seconds to tell me who you are, why you're following me, and why I shouldn't kill you right now."
"Ten isn't much time to describe how awesome I am."
"Eight."
"You don't want to shoot me here. First of all, you have no silencer which will alert anyone, including your wife below us, that gunshots have been fired. Two, you're way to curious to know who I am, and three, there's no way you'd get a shot off before I would."
It's obvious he's surprised I know his room is below mine, but before he can finish opening his dopey mouth to retort, there's a loud banging on my door which makes him jump. A familiar voice echoes through the plywood. "Edward, open the door!"
"Emmett?" I call out while holding my position. What the fuck? "Now's not an ideal time, exactly. Why don't you come back in ten minutes or so?"
He bangs again. "Let me in!"
"Me too!" The whine behind him makes me roll my eyes. Lovely. Resting bitch face has also arrived.
"Rosalie?" Jasper says, making me turn sharply towards him. Before I can move to the door, I hear the unmistakable sound of the mechanism kicking in, and suddenly Emmett is standing in my doorway with Rosalie peering over his shoulder at us.
"Jasper, put the gun down," she says, admonishing him like he's a five year old holding a crayon towards a pristine, white wall.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Rose?" Jasper sounds as confused as I feel.
"Fixing this situation you've got yourself in."
"What is going on here?" I yell over stupid and stupider towards Emmett. "How the hell does this asshole know your asshole?"
"Hey, watch your mouth, that's my wife," Emmett chastises me.
"And that asshole is my brother, you prick," Rosalie adds immediately.
Um, what was that? I hold the gun higher towards Jasper and speak to Emmett, ignoring Rosalie completely. "So did you hire me to kill him because he's a terrible hitman or because you don't want the family line to go any further than it has to?"
"You're a hitman?" Jasper sputters out, an incredulous look on his face.
"I'm offended you never heard of me. No, I take that back. That means if I'm not on your radar, I'm far better a hitman than you, Jazzdouche."
Emmett chuckles at that. "Okay, put the weapons down."
"Not until you tell me what's going on. I may have to redirect my aim at you. Why would you hire me to kill the twat's brother? Besides obvious reasons like you don't want him at family dinners? And how is it that he is the twat's brother and you thought I didn't need this information? Or did you not know?" I wouldn't put it past battleax to have kept that selfishly to herself.
"First of all, stop insulting my wife or I will find your toothbrush syringe and use it on you."
"HA! I'd like to see you try."
"Rosalie? You were trying to kill me? What the fuck?" Jasper looks at his sister (I should've known the two people I hate most in the world were related) with a sad, shaggy puppy look. Before she can answer, the door Emmett left ajar (they're all idiots apparently) opens and standing in the doorway is none other than the entire reason for my existence.
FUCK.
Bella looks at Emmett and Rosalie, then her eyes widen when they land on Jasper and me. "Is this a bad time?"
I can hardly dismiss her and tell her I'll call her later, wait for her to back out of the room, and expect her to want to see me again. Well, I guess this is it. The proverbial cat is outta the bag now. "It's a great time, come on in, Bella. I'd like you to meet what I regretfully call my family, not that I'd like to admit it to anyone. My brother, Emmett." I point to him with my gunless hand.
Bella's head snaps back to Emmett, who like a jackass holds his hand out to her which she ignores. Her face is laced with confusion which turns to concern as she looks at Jasper and realizes he's pointing a weapon towards me, evidently not noticing the one I'm holding. She surprises me by moving towards Jasper at a quick clip, and before he even knows what to do about it, she throws her moped keys across the room which he mistakenly (truly, a disgrace to all hitmen everywhere) follows with his eyes before she high-kicks his arm, dislodging his gun and making it fly across the bed.
I've never been prouder.
"Who are you?" Bitch asks my woman, who turns with fire in her eyes.
"Who the fuck are you?" Atta girl.
"This is a family matter, if you don't mind."
"I do mind. Edward is my family."
I am? "I am?"
"Maybe. Depends on what the actual fuck is going on here?"
I lower my weapon now that Jazzdouche is disarmed. Now's the time. All or nothing. She either takes this for what it is, or runs screaming to security and I jump out the window to my dramatic death.
"Bella, this is the brother I told you about and his…" Emmett gives me a warning glare, "Wife. Apparently your frequent barfly, Jasper here, is her brother. We, ah, well, I'm not exactly in waste management."
"I'm stealing that one," Jasper says.
"Don't even think about it. It's my line," I snap at him and turn towards the girl that might be about to decide I'm not longer the love of her life. "Bella, I've got something to tell you."
"There's something you thought was a bigger secret than you being a vampire?"
"Excuse me?" Jasper chokes.
"She knows?" Emmett says, smile on his face, taunting me. "Is this your girlfriend, Eddie?"
"Don't ever call me that or I'll cut your nuts off."
"Don't you dare." Rosalie says.
"Wait just a goddamn minute!" Bella shouts, her hands out to stop us all from talking. "What do you have to tell me, Edward? More secrets?" Her face is a world of hurt and confusion.
"Only to protect you." She snorts, shaking her head. "Well, mostly me. I was… afraid, Bella, if you knew the truth."
"What did you think would be more shocking than telling me you're Nosferatu in training?" She nods towards the gun in my limp hand. "You're in the mafia? An escaped convict?"
"No, nothing that distasteful."
"You're a half-vamp, half-werewolf?"
Emmett and I make the same sort of gagging sound at that. "Lord, no. Nothing so vile! I'm a hired professional in the art of killing. I'm a hitman."
Bella blinks twice. "A hitman," she repeats dryly, showing no emotion. No surprise, no disgust, no anything.
"Yes. I kill people. People hire me to kill other people." Saying it out loud to her is freeing, even if it sounds really bad.
"You kill people for money?"
"Yes."
"That's how you make a living?"
"Yes." I wish she'd just get on with the yelling already.
She keeps blinking at me, until she shakes her head to clear it. "Oddly enough, that isn't the weirdest thing I've heard this week." Bella rubs her forehead and looks around the room at the four of us. "You a hitman too?" She nods her head towards Emmett.
"No, I just run the business. Not that I couldn't be." Rosalie actually smiles and rubs his shoulder, assuring him he could while I snort at the absurdity.
"I'm a hitman," Jasper volunteers, to which Bella succinctly tells him she doesn't care, making me laugh out loud.
A big sigh escapes her as she puts her hands on her hips. "Okay. You're a half-vampire hitman. Anything else you've left out? You secretly knit with cat hair or rule at lip-sync battles?"
"I still play a mean air guitar, but no, that's it." I run a mental checklist to make sure, and clear myself. "You're not upset?"
"At you keeping it from me? Yes." I move to speak but she stops me. "I'm entirely too overwhelmed at the moment to process it all, but I suppose my first thought is that if someone has to do it, might as well be someone that can't die if things get hairy."
My eyes widen as I look at her, disbelieving. "You're not offended? Appalled? Ready to turn me in?"
"Do you only kill bad people?"
"Yes, only those who truly deserve it. It's, um, part of what I was telling you about. It's in my nature to want to kill; I just funnel it in a more appropriate way." Yeah, that sounds not heinous.
"Well I suppose it's better than eating innocent people, is that right? I take it that's the alternative?"
"I guess?" Luck cannot be that much of a friend to me after all these years. "Are you really telling me you're okay with this?"
"I'm going to question the hell out of you once we're alone, but I think at this point, I'm fairly certain that you could tell me you eat babies and I'd look the other way to be with you." She rubs her eyes and raises them to the heavens, mumbling under her breath about not being able to choose who you love and something about a straitjacket.
"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" Emmett coos which I ignore as I move towards Bella and tentatively touch her arm.
"I don't eat babies. I promise." Despite the audience, I lean down to kiss her sweetly. "Thank you, Bella. For accepting who I am."
She kind of sighs and chuckles, her whole body relaxing the tension she's had in her since entering the room. "If I can accept you're going to be a vampire someday that needs to treat me like a buffet, I can accept your choice of sketchy occupation. I'm less conflicted morally than I should be because seeing you with that gun kind of turned me on."
"Can we maybe end this episode of Love Connection and get to more important things, like why you wanted this guy to kill me, Rosalie?" Jasper asks, waving his arms to gain our attention.
"I didn't want him to kill you. We wanted Edward to assess you. Emmett would never have let it get that far."
"How would you have stopped me?" I ask my brother, offended.
"I have skills, bro. I could take you down."
Rosalie continues talking to Jasper, ignoring my brother and me. "We've been here all week, watching you two idiots. We would've stepped in before either of you had a chance."
"What in God's name would you possibly want to gain from this?" I say, incensed.
"Maybe we should sit down." Emmett motions to the patio, clearly nervous.
"I don't know about you all, but I need a drink." Bella moves to open the bottle of wine that had been restocked (I'll have to remember to add one more star to my review), and takes a healthy sip right from it.
Rosalie wrinkles her nose. "Guess I won't be having any."
"That's right, blondie. More for me." Bella fish eyes her and takes another chug.
I couldn't love her any more.
We finally settle the beverage situation and sit out on the balcony after I made sure the nearby rooms weren't occupied. Jasper has called down for Alice, who made a beeline for Bella when she entered and is overjoyed at the prospect that she and Jasper now have a couple they can double with.
Over my half-dead body.
"So, as you know, Edward, our numbers have been growing exceptionally well over the last year. I can barely keep up with the demand for assassinations," Emmett starts, only to have Bella interrupt.
"You sound like you're discussing mergers, not murders," she snorts.
He smiles at her and shrugs. "Business is business. This is the first time we've been able to take a breath and have a bit of downtime, Edward's been going non-stop."
I can't argue with that, as I hold Bella's hand as we pass the bottle between us. The murder business has been great, but this break worked out pretty good for me after all. "Get to the point, Emmett." I have to have sex with my girlfriend.
"We want to combine forces and take Jasper on as a co-worker, for lack of a better word."
"No!"
"No."
Jasper and I speak over each other. There's no way in hell I'm letting this half-wit, half-assed killer anywhere near my clientele.
"I don't need a partner," Jazzdouche nearly cries. "And no one has explained this vampire thing."
"Listen up, you moron. You need guidance. Regretfully, I have to admit that Eddie here"- Rosalie ignores my glare- "Is much better at it than you. You're too flashy, too in-your-face and that in the long run, does not make for good business. I sent you here on your honeymoon knowing Edward was going to be here. I hired him because I knew he'd be attuned to you and evaluate your every move so he could determine just how bad you are. I want you to learn from him, even if he is an insufferable asshole."
"Thanks," I tip the bottle at her and she raises her vodka to me. "I have one question, though." Everyone turns to me. "If you knew Jasper here was Rosalie's brother, why didn't you ever say anything?" I direct at Emmett. "You know I loathe him."
"I'm right fucking here!" he protests, which we all ignore, even Alice who seems to be inching herself closer to my girlfriend's side every minute and looking at her like she's Angelina Jolie.
"I know how much you and my wife hate each other, even though it pains me greatly," he says, placing a hand on his wife's knee. I actually feel a little bad at the sadness in his voice. "We thought it best to let you both operate by yourselves, not knowing who the other was. But times change, and we could become a powerhouse in Seattle. Two hired killers working together? Think of the money we can make. Instead of wasting time competing against each other, we'd be streamlining our shared end goals." Emmett tips his head in Bella's direction but looks at me. "And obviously, you're going to be wanting more time off. Am I right?"
She's remained mostly quiet during this explanation, eyes narrowed in concentration while sucking on the bottle, but Bella surprises me with what she says next. "If there are two of them, they wouldn't have to live in the same city. Edward could live here, with me, and you'd have quicker access to both coasts and everywhere in between. Cover more ground."
"That could work." Emmett says, nodding and thinking it through.
"But Jasper would have to train with Edward first for a while, he can't operate the way he has been," Rosalie agrees and I groan along with Jizzper.
"I don't need a babysitter! I'm a hired killer! I've killed lots of people without his help!"
"Jasper, remember that time that I had to, um, help because you got in that… situation?" Alice pipes up, and I swear I see her hand reaching towards Bella's leg under the chair.
"Alice," Jasper grits through his teeth. "I said we weren't to mention that."
"What happened?" Rosalie snaps.
"Nothing." Jasper pouts but Alice volunteers readily.
"I had to save him from a locked room. He was made and called me, so I had to take his target out and rescue him from a meat locker. He was pretty cold when I got to him, poor baby," Alice coos and rubs his head. I still think I see her trying to caress Bella though…
"I could've gotten him when you let me out," Jasper whines.
"You took out his target?" Rosalie asks, apparently impressed.
"Sure!"
"Interesting."
"We're not about to open a franchise! Especially with my wife!" Jasper shouts, standing up.
"Oh sit the fuck down." Rosalie waves at Jasper who like a scolded puppy does as he's told. "It's just good to know that we have Alice here, not to mention Bella disarmed you fairly quickly. Who knows what the future could bring? But that's a discussion to be had later. Right now, this is what we're doing. And Jasper, if you don't like it, consider yourself out of business. I'll make sure of that myself."
Jasper throws his arms across his body but finally nods, acquiescing. I really hate these two but it's sort of fun watching them fight.
I turn to Bella, the only person's opinion I care about. "Is this really something you want? Me living here, with you?" It's more than I could've hoped for, or imagined. Could I really work out of Key West so I could be with Bella? Could I really work less? Maybe training the Jizzman isn't such a bad idea.
Bella turns and leans towards me, clutching the almost empty bottle tightly. I think she's moving mainly to get Alice's hand off of her, but I'll pretend I'm the sole reason for her closeness. "The thought of you leaving again is something I don't ever want to have to deal with. That's why I was coming here tonight. To tell you that I refuse to live without you, now that you're back. It's a non-entity, a non-question, you and me being apart. It simply doesn't make sense in the universe."
"It absolutely doesn't make sense," I smile huge, skewing our lyric of love.
"Well that's about to make me sick, I've had enough for one night." Standing, Rosalie motions towards the door. "Let's go, Emmett. We can work out the particulars tomorrow when this one," she thumbs towards Jasper, "stops acting like a pussy."
I swear he gets up and stomps his foot, following Rosalie's lead. "I need a drink, come on Alice. Let's go to the bar." She follows after giving both Bella and I hugs, which I don't think either of us enjoyed, and soon the room is clear of my brother, a pair of asshole siblings, and a possible lesbian.
We stand in silence, shell-shocked at the night we've had. "That went well," I offer, to which Bella just looks at me. I'm nervous now that we're alone she's going to rethink all she's said. "Bella, if you were to tell me to leave right now, I would. I'd-"
"Shut up." She crosses the room and lands in my arms, her head nestling against my chest. "Don't even joke about it. You're not allowed to even go buy lottery tickets without me tagging along from now on."
"Might make my job difficult."
"I'll be the Matilda to your Leon."
"I think the ages are reversed."
"Speaking of, I guess we have some shit to figure out. Like, when are you going to change, and what happens when you do. What happens to me? And-"
"Can we talk about it in the morning? I'd really just like to enjoy playing with my naked girlfriend for the rest of the night."
"Fiancée, Edward. I've been waiting thirteen years. If you don't make me your fiancée after all of this, I'll hire Jasper myself to take you out. Then I'll woo Alice."
"Fiancée?"
"I want a big ring, too. Like ginormous. For all the fucking shit you've put me through."
"You want to marry me, Bella Swan?"
"The sooner the better. I think that makes me insane."
"You might change your mind?"
"You never know."
"Then let's do it. Let's be insane together." I get down on one knee, no ring, no bad romantic music, nothing but years of devotion towards the prettiest girl I've ever seen. "You were the first and only girl I've ever kissed. You're my first love, my first sexual experience, my first taste of a life of crime when we shoplifted rolling papers at the Ready Mart, and I promise you'll be the first and last person I drink from."
"This is very romantic," she rolls her eyes and tries to hide her smile.
"Marry me, Bella Swan. Right here, tomorrow. There's nothing I want more in life than to spend the rest of it with you. I've waited long enough, you've waited long enough. We've been given a second chance, and I promise this time not to screw it up. I absolutely love you, and I absolutely know that I can't imagine not being ridiculous with you for eternity."
That does it, the smile breaks free and she joins me on the floor, grabbing my hands. "I absolutely love you, and I can't wait to be absolutely fucking ridiculous with you for forever."
So as it turns out, because of Florida law we had to wait three days once we filed for our marriage license to actually get married. Fuckers. Bella didn't want to wait and suggested that we have a spiritual ceremony instead of a legal one, especially because of the whole tricky 'real name' situation I'd be put in on legal documents, but I insisted we do things right this time around and be bound together forever by a sheet of paper. Who knew I was such a traditionalist?
The three days has afforded me the opportunity to try to get to know Bella's friend, Kate, who despite the fact that we've come to an agreement to be on good terms for Bella's sake, is giving me the ol' stink eye over Bella's shoulder as she stands up for Bella in the role of maid of honor.
Could be worse, I suppose, she could've asked her about to be twat-in-law.
I direct my attention back to the sole reason I'm standing in a linen suit with bare feet (which Bella applied the 50 SPF to in a fantastic post-sex massage before we left) and smile. The girl of my dreams (and every waking thought, let's be honest) is standing in front of me in a beautiful, white flowy dress with the purple flowers from her garden stuck randomly throughout her wild curls, about to commit to a marriage that will eventually consist of blood sucking, life without cheese, and my penchant for assholery for all of time.
These three days has also given Emmett time to become ordained on the internet, something I was against initially for the sheer stupidity of it, but Bella thought would be fun. They've built a fast friendship, which pleases me more than I thought it would, but the best part is, Bella hasn't changed her dislike for Rosalie, which pleases me even more.
The horrid woman is standing off to the side with Jasper, who still looks confused about what's going on around him and hasn't stopped whining about it, while Alice has embraced the idea of the vamp lifestyle wholeheartedly and has begged Emmett and I to turn her, which we've refused to do.
As if I need her sniffing around my soon to be wife for all of eternity. Hell no, son.
Wife.
Bella.
My wife Bella.
It's all so surreal as Emmett prompts me to recite the vows I'd finally perfected just last night. How does someone put into words (suitable for public consumption) just what the love of your life means to you? Smiling at her and squeezing the hands she's had in mine since we got here, I do my best.
"The first time I ever saw you, you had horribly uneven bangs due to an unfortunate home beauty snafu. You walked in to your first day at a new school all smiles and friendly to everyone, not caring about how you looked, not caring that you'd tripped and your books flew everywhere, and not caring about anyone that might be snickering behind your back. But I took one look at you, and to me, you were perfect. Life with me isn't going to be perfect for you, far from it, but mine already is because you've decided to put up with me even when you had the chance to run."
I hear a bit of chuckling from the five person crowd, but I only have eyes for her. "I thought it then, and I think it now - you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I promise you, Bella, to always take care of you when you fall and hurt yourself or drink too much from a boozy coconut. I promise to love you and accept your love for those big air-filled stick men that hang out at used car lots. I promise to always burn the popcorn and feed you M&M's, I promise to never throw out a photograph, and I promise to draw on you anytime you want. But mostly, I promise to never leave your side, not even when you really wish I would." She laughs and pulls our hands up to brush at her eye before letting them fall again.
"Bella, forever won't be long enough to thank you for giving me another chance, for giving us another chance. David Bowie was a genius, and my seventeen-year-old self is lucky he was able to speak for me. But I hope that if he'd never come up with those four words, that I eventually would've. One of my favorite things to say to you is a phrase I never thought I'd have the chance to say again and will say to you every day for the rest of our existence - I absolutely love you."
The glow on Bella's face tells me I nailed it, and while she's not sobbing like some might, there's definitely a glistening beneath her lashes. I'm slightly nervous to hear what she has to say back, part of me still not trusting the world isn't fucking with me and I'm really not the luckiest bastard in the world, about to have the rug (or sand) pulled out from beneath him.
"I tried to write something down to capture what this last week, what these last thirteen years, what the prior two were before that mean to me, but I kept coming up short. There are no words to describe the depth of feeling I have for you. Even when you annoy me and choose things for me I wouldn't choose for myself, I know you do them with a big, red, beating only for me heart."
I smirk at her choice of imagery as she continues. "You promised me things, and I promise you the biggest thing I can give you - me, forever, to share your extraordinary life and all that comes with it. Even your inability to keep plants alive, your annoying snobbery of all things alcohol, and your habit of scratching your feet with your toenails, something I don't even think you realize you do. I love all the things that come with you - your hair and your mad air guitar playing skills. But most of all, I love the way you love me, the way you never stopped, and I love that I never stopped loving you. I absolutely love you back."
I'm swooning like a girl at a Justin Bieber concert, and everyone fades from the periphery as Emmett proclaims us husband and wife. Grabbing Bella, I throw my arms around her and pull her into me, kissing her with so much force she bows back slightly. I don't stop the kiss as it deepens, despite the hooting and hollering (only from Emmett and Alice, everyone else can go suck it).
We stand upright and Bella pulls on my shoulders making me lean down to her where she presses her lips right against my ear, her breath tickling and her soft voice only for me.
What she says makes my eyes widen with realization that a promise whispered late at night had not been secret at all.
"You were right. You married me, Edward Cullen."
Huge thanks as always to my GIF-loving pre-reader, LayAtHomeMom, and my favorite person/muse/beta, CarrieZM. Without them I am nothing.
And without you, I am just a bunch of unread words in cyberspace.
