Chapter 32- Broken Heroes
"They came to fight for glory in their thousands. Young men with their dreams. They died before the guns for their country. A book of faded pictures, broke dreams. Where are they now? The broken heroes."
~Broken Heroes, Saxon
"Momma, let's go. Forget about him."
Momma.
While Bethany was living her nightmare, Jamie was calling out for her. It was one thing that she missed his first word. It was another that his first word was a call for her. It wasn't just her name mixed in with a bunch of garbles, it was 'Momma' repeated over and over again while her picture was in his hand. He wanted her. He needed her. And where was she? Walking up to Clint's house.
She couldn't even focus on the fact that Clint was about to introduce them to his secret family, or even on Steve's hand squeezing hers tightly with every step they took. She couldn't really think about anything but Jamie and how she should be in that quinjet, heading towards the Tower, not going to Clint's home to hide. She barely even cared about her nightmare anymore. All that really mattered to Bethany was that Jamie had his mother, and that he wouldn't grow up to hate her like he had Steve in that dream. The possibility of her sweet baby boy brutally attacking her own headstone one day broke her heart.
But then again, if her dream was really to come true, she wouldn't be dying any day soon. She had spent the majority of the ride over thinking about her dream. She wasn't upset or scared like her counterparts were. She was unnaturally calm. Bethany wasn't even mad at Steve. It was ridiculous to be made at him when he hadn't even done anything wrong yet… But he would. Oh, she knew that he would. Now more than ever did she know that Steve wouldn't be retiring as willingly as she once hoped.
But she was determined not to leave him. The life that the grown Jamie had talked about, one without Steve… no matter how many times he left them, Bethany couldn't imagine taking their son away from him and teaching Jamie to hate Steve. She would find a way to make it work. For both her boys, and for herself, she would find a way to be happy. So that when Steve did pass away someday, hopefully decades into the future, Jamie would lay the biggest bouquet upon his father's grave and shed a tear. Bethany would make it so that Steve was the hero but also a father and a husband. She could do it, she knew she could. It would take patience and understanding, but she was so tired of being mad at Steve. Especially for this. She knew who he was better than anyone. Bethany didn't want to be angry at him for something he couldn't help. It would be like being angry at him because he had blue eyes. Pointless, tiresome and in the end, Bethany would end up just hurting herself.
"What is this place?" Thor asked, looking at the house in front of them.
"A safe house," Tony answered, but his tone was a bit off.
"Let's hope," Clint replied.
It had been almost a year since the last time Bethany had been here. Clint had offered to let her and Steve take a newborn Jamie to his place so that they could work out all their issues away from the distractions their world had brought them. However, when they had been there last, there were no pictures on the walls, no toys tucked away in corners, no visible signs of a feminine touch.
"Honey? I'm home," Clint called out as he led the group into the living room.
Bethany had never met Laura Barton before, despite Clint telling her of his family years ago in order to get Bethany to relax about her upcoming nuptials with Steve. She had been afraid about their future. She still was, to be frank.
Laura had a soft looking face and beautiful brown hair, but what caught Bethany off-guard the most was the roundness of her stomach. Instantly, Bethany felt envy build up inside her. Even after her nightmare, she wanted another baby. In her opinion, another child would only strengthen her reason to stop fighting and make her relationship with Steve indestructible.
"Hi," Laura said, a huge loving smile on her face.
"Company," Clint explained. "Sorry, didn't call ahead."
"Hey," Laura whispered, kissing Clint and the two holding each other in a sweet embrace. It was touching and Bethany finally found the strength to give Steve's hand a comforting squeeze, resting her head against his arm. He'd have questions about this later, she knew that for sure, but she wasn't going to dwell on that.
"This is an agent of some kind," Tony declared passionately.
"Everyone, this is Laura," Clint offered, introducing her to them.
"I know all your names," Laura said lightly, her tone and smile making Bethany feel unnaturally at-home. There was something about Laura, something that she couldn't explain, that made her feel comfortable. Like a mother's hug. Or at least, what Bethany assumed a mother's hug would be like.
Little footsteps against wood caught Clint's attention. "Oooh, incoming."
Bethany felt her heart skip a beat as Clint's children ran into the room, Clint holding them close as they exchanged friendly words. Bethany didn't miss the confused and surprised look on her husband's face, but Bethany could feel her heart calling for her son.
"These are… smaller agents," Tony decided.
"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" Clint's daughter, Lila, asked.
This was the first time since Wanda's play on Natasha's mind that she had reacted or said anything. "Why don't you hug her and find out?"
Watching the agent scoop Lila up into her arms and hug the little girl, she didn't miss the small smile on her husband's face from the exchange, but it quickly fell as if some painful memory washed over him. She had been so preoccupied about what she had seen, she hadn't even thought about Steve.
"Sorry for barging in on you," Steve offered Laura politely.
"Yeah, we woulda called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed," Tony added.
With one arm wrapped around Laura and the other around his son, Cooper, Bethany had never seen Clint this happy before. She took a stronger hold on Steve's hand, desperately needing this happiness, despite everything that was going on. She could not stop thinking about her son. "Yeah, well Fury helped me set this up when I joined. He kept it off SHIELD's files, I'd like to keep it that way. I figure it's a good place to lay low."
"Did you know?" Steve whispered to her, but there was no anger in his tone, just curiosity. Before she could respond, they heard a small cracking sound, looking down to where Thor had just stepped on a little Lego house. Trying to be subtle, the man brushed the Lego pieces under a nearby lounger, giving Steve and Bethany an innocent look.
"I did," she finally whispered back. "But you should understand why I didn't tell you."
To her surprise, he nodded. Hearing a subtle pop, they looked over to where a toaster had just popped. Thor suddenly moved towards the door. Bethany let Steve's hand slip from hers as he went after him, but she followed slowly, waiting in the doorframe. She watched as Thor flew up into the sky, claiming he needed to find answers.
Steve stood in his spot for a few seconds, looking at the surrounding property, before turning around. She saw his shoulders sag as he saw her standing there. "Steve?" She asked lightly, seeing that something was wrong.
Instead of giving her an answer, he turned around and walked out onto the front yard. Bethany looked back at the group, Tony having watched the entire exchange. He gave her an eyebrow raise, prompting her to run after him. "Hey, what was that about?" She called out, grabbing his wrist, holding him in his spot.
"Nothing," Steve replied, but it was clearly a lie.
"Steve," Bethany said strictly. "Don't do that to me. Not now. What's going on?"
He looked at his feet, blindly taking both of her hands in his and giving them a squeeze. "I'm sorry."
"Why? What happened?" She pressed on. "What did she show you? Is that why you're acting like this? I want to know, Steve."
He looked at her, and she saw something horrible in his eyes. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but he looked traumatized. "I can't lose you, Beth. Especially not if there's something that I can do."
Letting out a quiet sigh, Bethany used her head to gesture towards the quinjet. "Let's get out of our uniforms and talk, okay? In private? And Steve, I'm not going anywhere. Trust me on that, leaving you isn't going to solve anything."
Her words didn't seem to comfort him, but they walked towards the quinjet anyways, closing the door behind them. Steve stood in a corner while Bethany went to their seats, pulling open the cabinet underneath them. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a belt for Steve and a green and white flower printed maxi dress for herself.
Steve slowly took off his uniform, taking extra care and attention when folding his things, a clear sign that he was avoiding talking to her. Bethany waited patiently for him to finish, and when everything was done and both of them were in civilian clothes, they sat together, his hands in hers. "Steve, what is it?"
"Can you tell me what you saw first?" He asked quietly. "I promise I'll tell you, I just-"
"Yes," Bethany replied, giving him a soft smile. "If it'll help you, I will."
As Bethany relayed her nightmare to her husband, not leaving out any details as to gain his trust, she watched his eyes only grow more and more worried. "Steve, I'm not leaving," Bethany vowed. "If that taught me anything it's that I won't be happy without you. No matter what you do. I'd rather die right now than let Jamie feel bitter towards you. Or go a day without you when I could be with you. I think… I think I saw what I saw though because I'm afraid of being alone. But even more so, I'm afraid of Jamie not getting to live the life I want him to. I think that witch knew that nothing from my past could scare me. The only thing that scares me is what the future could hold."
"Yeah, and me not being able to give it up being a horrible fate for you," Steve whispered.
"I'm not going to lie, babe, it does hurt," Bethany replied softly. "But asking you not to fight is like asking me not to love Jamie the way I do."
"Beth, you want to stop fighting because of Jamie."
"And I continue to for him. And for you," Bethany reminded him. "I do it because I love you both. And I might love the fight a little bit, yes. But I could do without it. You can't."
"But I should," Steve stressed. "When we got married, I told you that I didn't need anything else. That I didn't need a home because I know it was where you were. Those were in my vows, Bethany."
"So?" Bethany asked. "Everyone needs a little more than just love."
"Beth, I saw our life if you had told me about the baby," he quickly sputtered out, catching her off guard. "There was this perfect house, and everything inside the fence was lively and healthy… everything else was dead. And inside… it was you and our family. A girl, a beautiful girl and two little boys."
"And?" Bethany whispered when he stopped. "It sounds to me like that wasn't a nightmare, but the best of dreams."
"No," Steve breathed. "War was raging outside the fence, and you asked me to stay and I-I couldn't. And instead of just being able to leave you, you all died. While I stood there watching, not doing anything. All because I was returning to war."
Bethany looked down, trying to make sense of his dream. Bethany had more than one dream in her life where in the moment, it made sense, but as soon as she woke up, little pieces of it were missing. But this dream… it was Steve's way of understanding that war was number one in his mind. And the scary part was that he could very well let his family go if it meant fighting.
In a lot of ways, their dreams were connected. While his may have been in the past and hers in the future, they were both things that could have or may happen, but in both, Steve had chosen to fight over her and their family. "It scares me, Doll," Steve whispered, looking to her with worry trapped in his eyes. "How do I stop this? That's not what I want. To lose you because-"
"Shhh," Bethany interrupted, moving to cup his face. "Steve, notice that I'm not upset?"
"Yeah," he realized after a moment, two creases between his eyes forming. "Why? Why aren't you upset?"
She offered him a simple smile. "Because this gives us the opportunity to fix what needs to be fixed before it's too late. If anything, I kept telling myself in that unconsciousness how much I loved you. And Jamie even acknowledged that me loving you never changed. I know it's scary. But I have faith that we can do this. I just… I know now that it's possible. Because leaving you isn't an option for me anymore."
"It was before?" Steve asked alarmed.
"No," Bethany promised. "Steve, I'd rather be miserable with you than without you, how many times do I need to tell you that? I just… I think we need to focus on what we can do to make it so that our future isn't as bleak as our nightmares."
"You were so quiet earlier," Steve began. "I thought… I don't know, that you wouldn't take everything so… easily."
"Shocked me too," Bethany admitted with a laugh. "But then I found out that my son was calling for me. I don't want him to grow up bitter and despising you. And in order to make sure that doesn't happen, I can't be mad at you. I may be a little heartbroken, but nothing a little glue won't fix. Ultron was trying to break us, Steve. Broken heroes, truly broken heroes, aren't good to anyone. And he did a hell of a good job. But I'm not letting a 'what if' keep me from giving Jamie the life he deserves."
"When did you become so mature?" Steve asked her softly, attempting to tease her, but still recovering emotionally.
"I know, it's about time, huh?" Bethany replied with a soft smile. "I told you. I'm tired of being angry at you. Being angry at things won't make a difference. What I saw was supposed to make me… I don't know… bitter? Scared? Mad at you? But it's only made me want to get home to Jamie even more. Which means we all need to piece ourselves back together and end all of this."
She leaned in and kissed the spot between his eyebrows, smoothing out the crease. "Feel better?" She asked him.
"Getting there," he admitted, taking a hold of her face and giving her a deep kiss, sighing when they broke apart, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry that I can't-"
"Shh," She interrupted, shaking her head against his. "One thing at a time. We deal with Ultron and then we do everything else afterwards, okay?"
"Okay," Steve allowed reluctantly.
Bethany offered him one more smile before getting out of her chair and moving to the cockpit. Steve followed her, watching as Bethany turned on the communication array. Her strong front was crumbling as she made the necessary actions, waiting for someone at the Tower to pick up.
"You sure this will help and not hurt?" Steve whispered to her, his large hands gripping at her shoulders.
"No," Bethany admitted. "But he's calling for me, Steve. I can't just ignore that."
Steve didn't argue with her, only bending down to place a kiss on the top of Bethany's head. They waited until Theo's bright face appeared on the screen, the little boy undoubtedly having been playing with the tablet.
"You guys are in big trouble," Theo reported, turning the camera so that it was focused on the TV which was on the news.
There was so much destruction and all the blame was on them. Not specifically them. People were blaming the Hulk, mostly. Some people Tony as well, even though he was clearly doing his best to keep the damage to a minimum and keep civilians out of it. But people were wondering where the rest of the team were, and why they weren't helping in any way possible.
"Theo," Jen scolded, taking the tablet away from her son. "Umm… how's it going?"
"I need to see Jamie," Bethany explained.
Jen nodded, getting up and taking the tablet with her. The couple could hear Jen cooing to Jamie, before she set the tablet up inside his crib so he could see it. When he looked at the screen, a huge gapped tooth smile overtook him, along with a happy squeal. Bethany almost began to cry, especially when his little hands clapped together in excitement.
"Hi there, Munchkin," Bethany spoke, raising a hand up to her shoulder where Steve's hand was resting, giving it a tight squeeze. He had taken some of her strength earlier. She needed it back now.
Jamie's hands moved to touch the screen, sounding displeased that they were trapped behind the glass, but Bethany continued to talk to him, to get his mind off them not really being there. "Oh, baby boy. Momma misses you so much."
"You being a good boy, Jamie?" Steve pressed on when he heard Bethany's voice crack.
"Who is that, Jamie?" Jackson asked Jamie. The little boy looked up to his babysitter with an open mouth before looking back to the tablet, pointing to it.
"Momma, momma, momma," he babbled on.
Bethany couldn't keep her tears at bay now. She wasn't sure if they were of happiness or sadness, although she was sure that they were both. She couldn't be prouder of her little boy but the circumstances surrounding it all were breaking her heart. Steve changed their positions so that he was on the chair, Bethany sideways in his lap. His broad hands roamed her back, making little hushing sounds as she sobbed. Jamie kept pointing to her, his smile now a frown as he watched her cry.
"Why don't you sing him a song?" Steve whispered to her.
"That'd be fantastic actually," Jackson's voice said, picking up Steve's words. "He had a rough night, barely got any sleep."
Sniffing and fighting back her pain, Bethany started singing the only song she could remember, a song that seemed to be written for her, especially in that moment. "I'm just an angel that's fallen from grace. In a weak moment, I doubted my faith. I danced with the devil and I'm so ashamed. He never mentioned that I'd have to pay."
Jamie, as if on cue, brought himself into a lying down position, still looking at the screen, but knowing that Bethany singing to him like that meant bedtime. There were moments when Bethany was singing upbeat songs that Jamie even prepared himself to sleep, sometimes when he wasn't even tired. His intelligence was above average; everyone knew that by the way the baby played with his toy blocks or any baby developmental game. He understood that his Momma singing him a lullaby meant she wanted him to sleep. Whether he listened to it or not was another thing.
"Beautiful fiction he made me believe. Love and affection from him would come cheap," Bethany sang, feeling her own tears starting to slow, but her emotions were still as strong as ever. "I'm in the rain and now I'm on the run. I want to go home, I don't know what I've done."
Oh, did she ever want to go home. She wanted to scoop her baby boy up into her arms, cradle him and sing. Sing words that weren't filtered through a tablet. "'Cause I'm a fallen angel, finding my way back home."
The couple had taken a little walk around Clint's property, both of them trying to clear their heads and push back their emotions enough to make sense of what to do next. It was as clear as day that Bethany just wanted to fly the quinjet to the Tower and never leave Jamie's side again, but Steve knew that his wife would stay until they figured out their next move, and would ultimately join them if her presence was needed.
"We can't go after him until everyone's brains are clear," Bethany explained, her hands scrunching up the skirt of her dress as the long material continually caught under her feet as she moved forward.
"Then we need to figure out his plan," Steve continued. "We know he has the vibranium. What is he using it for?"
"A body?" Bethany supplied. "It makes sense. It would make it impossible for us to destroy him. Or very well close to impossible."
"But that much of it?" Steve asked, thinking back to the rows upon rows of vibranium that Ultron had cleared out.
"He could make an army of indestructible minions," Bethany pointed out. "That would be inconvenient."
"That's putting it lightly," Steve said before letting out a sigh. "But what's his end game? He said he wanted us dead—extinct—why didn't he just kill us when he had the chance? We were all down, unresponsive. He could have ended us and we wouldn't have even felt it."
"That's a scary thought," Bethany whispered, one hand reaching out for his. "What if he's like Loki? Wants to end us on a public setting? Offing us to instill fear? It's a possibility but…I feel like we're missing something."
"What do you think of them? Of the kids?" Steve asked suddenly.
"The Maximoffs?" Bethany clarified. "I think they're lost, Steve. They've only had each other for years, and they crave… revenge. Did you read into them? From what Maria gave you?"
"No, not much," Steve admitted.
"The shell that collapsed their home? That killed their parents? I don't know how it got there, my money's on that fucktard Obadiah Stane and his black market dealings, but that shell was-"
"Stark's," Steve finished with an angry breath of air. "So their hatred towards us is justified."
"In their minds, yes," Bethany allowed. "Losing someone makes you do things you wouldn't do with a sound mind. Sokovia isn't our biggest fan. Collectively, they think that we're the problem with the world. They may actually be right, but with those twins having that mindset, do you blame them for siding with Ultron? Or for volunteering for HYDRA's experiments?"
"So you feel sorry for them," Steve concluded.
"Don't you?" Bethany asked softly. "I mean, I lost my parents when I was young too. All I had was my brother. But we didn't have a good relationship, you know that. And even if we did, I wouldn't have anyone to blame, really. But when you lost Bucky, you were mad at HYDRA. You wanted revenge. Steve… they don't know any better. And yes, you gave them the option, but to them, they're winning. And shit, they're right. They are. But we can't judge them for doing what they have to do when we do what we have to do every day."
They stopped in their place, overlooking the whole of the property. Steve pulled his wife close to him, kissing the top of her head. "I'm not mad that you didn't tell me. I'm surprised that I didn't find out, but I understand why you would keep this a secret."
"You do?" Bethany asked, really confused. "I thought you'd be really upset."
"I mean, I'm upset that Clint didn't trust me with this secret, but I'm not mad at him for keeping it. Or you either. To be honest, I wish I thought of it."
"What, leaving Jamie and I at a tucked away farm, miles away from society while you're away for weeks, sometimes months at a time?" Bethany questioned, no anger in her voice, but it was evident that she didn't like that idea.
"If it meant you and Jamie being safe all the time, then yes," Steve admitted. "Don't you want that?"
"Of course I want Jamie to be safe," Bethany sighed. "It's all I really want, Steve. But it's not everything I want. I want you. I want us. Together, as a family. And Laura might be able to let Clint go, but I'm not her."
"And I don't want you to be," Steve promised her. "I'm just saying that if things were different… as much as I would want to parade my gorgeous wife and beautiful son around, showing the world how lucky I am, I'd rather people not know about you since that means I'd never be the reason for you two being in danger."
"If we could go back, is that what you'd change?" Bethany asked quietly.
Letting out a deep breath, Steve shook his head. "I don't think changing anything would make our situation necessarily better. Standing in front of a door, seeing you on the other side of a house… of a home."
Welcome home, Bethany voice had echoed when he saw her standing in the Barton's home, waiting for him patiently. She had instantly transformed into that soulless woman in his nightmare. She had been so cold and distant then, but now, holding her warm body close to his, overlooking Clint's home, he knew that she wasn't the woman he had seen in his nightmare.
"Is this what you want?" Steve found himself asking, gesturing to the land. "A house like this? Lots of room and land?"
She looked up at him, a small smile pulling her lips. "I want a house with lots of room, and a big yard," Bethany replied. "I don't need the farm, however. I'm a city girl, Rogers."
Steve couldn't help but chuckle, kissing her forehead. "But it would be nice to get away from the noise, right? To hear birds in the morning instead of loud horns? I mean, I grew up in the city too, but this is very…"
"Peaceful," Bethany offered quietly, a fond smile on her face.
"We should probably help," Steve brought up, thinking about the Barton's. Laura was extremely pregnant—something he knew was only going to make Bethany's own baby fever throb—and if they were offering the team a place to hide out at, the least they could do was lend a hand with chores. "Laura could probably use some help with cooking and cleaning. When you were that pregnant, you needed coaxing to get out of bed."
"I don't think I got that pregnant, to be honest," Bethany said with a chuckle, knowing that Laura was on her last few weeks and Jamie was a full month early. "But you're right. Plus, it'll probably get my mind off Jamie. Help me focus on someone else."
"That's my girl," Steve encouraged as the two of them made their way down the hill towards the house. There was a little path way which had been made through constant wear and tear of the grass, and wooden fences around the property. Steve tried to promise himself that he'd give Bethany and Jamie something like this, but he was only breaking his own heart. If he gave them that, he wasn't sure how much he'd be around, and clearly that was of huge importance to Bethany.
"Where'd you two disappear to?" Tony asked as they met by a huge pile of chopped wood that was waiting to be split into smaller pieces.
"I had to call Jamie," Bethany explained instantly and Tony's face registered understanding.
"And?"
"Well, it didn't make me feel any better," Bethany admitted with a sigh. "But I don't know if it made me feel any worse. How's it going in there?"
"Well, Romanoff and Banner scurried off by themselves," Tony revealed. "Whether they'll stay together or break apart, I don't know. Let's just hope they won't do anything stupid."
"They won't," Steve assured quickly, having faith in them. "They wouldn't risk everyone's lives."
"You two support them?" Tony asked, wagging a finger between the two of them before putting his hands on his hips.
"They deserve to be happy," Bethany said softly. "And if they make each other happy, who are we to judge?"
"This could be more dangerous than anything," Tony reminded them.
"What are we supposed to do? Put them on two separate islands with no way back to each other? Hope that with time, they'll forget about each other?" Steve asked.
"I say we give them a chance," Bethany shrugged. "What about Clint? Where's he?"
"Snuck off with the Missus. I always thought he and Widow were fucking," Tony admitted.
"I did too, for a long time," Bethany admitted with a chuckle, wincing as a gust of wind flew through the air. "Gah, it's cold."
"I'll be right back," Steve said, giving Bethany's shoulder a squeeze before jogging off to the quinjet. She didn't need to ask what he was going to do; he was getting her sweater. She couldn't help but give a small smile as he walked away.
"So besides missing Jamie's first word, which I know meant a lot to you, especially since it was you he was referring to," Tony began as Bethany crossed her arms, trying to hold in some warmth. "How are you holding up?"
Bethany let out of a long sigh, looking around the property for a moment before replying. "Better than Bruce. Better than Natasha. Better than Thor, even. I don't know… I guess that little red witch just made me see what I've known for a long time, but have been trying like hell to make sure it never happens."
"Which is?" Tony asked. "You're not super shaken up, so I assume you didn't see Jamie die."
"You know what's worse than that? Him living forever," Bethany replied honestly. "That's not really living. Being stuck in one place. I know that more than anyone. And he was this cruel man, hating his own father for leaving us time and time again. But that's our future. If nothing changes, Tony, that's exactly what my future will be like. It doesn't really matter if I change something by not leaving Steve like I did in my vision. Jamie will still grow up resenting Steve, like you resented Howard. But then again, it must be a Stark family trait to resent your parents."
Tony didn't say anything, as if he was finally at a loss for words. "It sucks," Bethany continued, shaking her head as she lowered her voice. "But every single day, it becomes more and more clear that the future I want, something so natural and normal, is so far away. And I get Steve not being able to give it all up, but I just need him to actually try."
"Sometimes even when you try, you fail," Tony reminded her. "That's what I saw. What the little Maximoff brat showed me. Back at the HYDRA base."
"You failing? What, like losing a third grade science project?" Bethany asked, no actual humour in her voice.
"Me failing us," He explained. "The entire team. All of them were dead, and it was because of me. Because I didn't try harder. And you… you were just hovering over Steve, that lifeless woman I grew up with. You weren't dead, but you weren't living either. And you blamed me for his death, for all of theirs-"
"Tony, I wouldn't do that," Bethany said with a sigh, moving forward to touch his arm softly. "Unless you were the one to do the actual damage, to pull the trigger or detonate the bomb, I would never blame you for their deaths. And I know you would never hurt anyone on our team."
"It could still happen though," Tony reminded her. "I can still fail."
"You must have left your cardigan at the Tower," Steve called out, coming back down and handing her his blue cardigan as a replacement.
"Thanks," she replied softly, tugging it on and holding it close to her, but looking at her nephew. "I get that you're afraid of failure. I know how scary that can be. But constantly dwelling on failure isn't going to make anything better. You were the one who spent months creating Iron Man suits so that you wouldn't fail at protecting the ones you love. I have every reassurance that you not trying hard enough is not the issue. And if you try as hard as you can and fail… well, we can't blame you for that."
Tony looked down at his feet, shaking his head. "You may not, but I will."
All Bethany could do was close her eyes and let out a deep breath knowing very well that she felt the exact same way. Failure wasn't an option, but always seemed to be a very real possibility. The fear of failing seemed to fuel them all, but the more fuel they burned, the higher their chances of failing got. It didn't matter how many times they succeeded. It only took one failure for everything to come crashing down into little pieces that were too small to ever be put back together.
Cleo9427: She deals with everything a lot better than she would have in the past. I feel like she's just accepting heartbreak after heartbreak and is now kind of at a 'why bother to cry'. Obviously she will cry in the future, since she's emotional (like me, I cried over my mom making hot dogs two days in a row once...) but she knows that her vision hasn't happened yet and she can change it, so why dwell on what could change?
Sarahmichellegellarfan1: Thanks :)
Irelandlover: Jamie has the same type of blood anomaly as Bethany, rapid cellular regeneration. However, we don't know what'll happen when he's older. Well, I KNOW ;) Obviously, he's aging however. In Steve's vision, that had three kids, and with Steve being away at war, that would mean they were busy during those times they were together. However, in Bethany's vision, they only have Jamie because she fears a future where she doesn't get what she wants for her family, and we all know she has baby fever. Does that make sense?
MusicofmyLife: Very, very heartbreaking, agreed. Not just because she wanted to be there for his first word, but also because it was a cry for her.
anonymouscsifan: Haha oops! That was a pretty all around heartbreaking chapter, wasn't it? He does isolate them a lot, because he thinks it's the right thing to do. He wants to keep them safe, but the best way to do that is by staying with them, a concept he doesn't fully understand. I'm so ahead of my mandatory classes that I only have to take two history courses this year, both of which aren't close to my concentration, but I feel like they'll be interesting enough!
RealHuntress18: Haha, I didn't mean to make so many people emotional. I believe I wrote this chapter a month ago at an extremely slow day at work, and I just my drab office and the poor weather outside really helped me tap into that inner darkness.
FeliciaFelicis: Wow, you read it more than once? I hadn't thought much of this chapter, but apparently I should be very proud of it :)
