A brief foray into Sam's head a little before and during the events of last chapter.
Sam likes James Barnes. He can say that unequivocally. It's now been six weeks since the smoke cleared on the major crapfest that had arisen out of that perfect storm of Government paranoia, Tony's ill-conceived quest for redemption (or vengeance - although it's not exactly an either/or situation) and Hydra rearing yet another one of its ugly-ass heads, and he's finally starting to see the guy that Steve Rogers had (rarely) talked about.
He's a hoot. Fucked-up seven ways to Sunday there's no denying that. But he's intelligent, funny and far more 'in with the kids' than his 'once again' best friend. Sam also finds him more than a little terrifying, but that's just smart. Tasha and Wanda have fast become some of his favourite people and he freely admits that they scare the shit out of him.
So when his two lovely ladies - sadly both resistant to his charms - start reacting in very different ways to the new arrival, it instantly raises a whole platoon of red flags.
Tasha starts vanishing off on 'urgent' missions for Fury so Sam can't confront her about the way she's been half-shadowing, half 'avoiding like the plague', the recovering POW in their midst. But he's got his hands pretty full as it is.
Steve's dangerously giddy. And even worse he's Steve so he also feels guilty about it. He's pushing Barnes to remember their lives, and Barnes is doing his best to hide it when things don't quite click, when Steve reaches for a treasured shared memory and all James has in its corresponding place is a blank void.
For the most part he manages to cover those moments like the pro he is. Even Sam had been convinced. In fact the only reason he now knows exactly how little of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes' life the former Winter Soldier actually has to hand is the lady in red.
A few days ago Sam had had to emotionally lift Steve off the ground when James didn't respond to Steve calling him Bucky. Not in the 'he hadn't heard him' way. Although that might be damn-well near impossible. They're discovering that James' senses are enhanced to pretty-much the same extent as Steve's. It was simply that for a few moments the guy honestly forgot that the name had anything to do with him. It was just a few moments but Sam had seen the pain on Steve's face, and so apparently had James.
Sam's been reminding Steve that this is a process, but even being the self-sacrificing son-of-a-bitch that he is doesn't stop Captain America's heart being strikingly visible on his sleeve. But there are good days and bad, so Sam doesn't over-think it when just this morning he finds Barnes back accepting Steve's casual touches and sharing recollections as they work out in the gym. That is until he comes across Wanda stood silently crying in the corridor outside.
They've become close - lots of late-night chats over hot cocoa as he helped her deal with her grief over her brother. He's found her someone with more experience in family bereavement to aid her in dealing with loosing Pietro and her parents, but he recognises what that mourning looks like well enough to know that that's not what he's walked-into here.
He gently shepherds her away from the gym and into the den where they can talk without risk of disturbing the two supersoldiers. And he eventually gets her to spill. This isn't the first time he's noticed she's upset around the guy, just the first time he's addressing it.
She's been sensing Barnes' emotions it turns out. She can see behind that mask he wears and it's breaking her heart.
"He doesn't remember it" she tells him between sobs, "the good parts. He has only moments, fragments of it back, a smile, a voice, a fight in an alley," she looks confused about why this would be a 'good memory', "but the rest of his mind is pain and death and sadness."
Sam wishes he'd been more surprised at the revelation, but he's discovered that the two legendary soldiers are pretty much total dumb-asses when it comes to each other.
Steve looks at Barnes with so much love in his eyes, that if Sam didn't know about Peggy, and hadn't seen the growing attachment between Steve and Sharon, he mighta started wondering if there wasn't a little more to it than platonic friendship - even life-long friendship - on Steve's side. And despite barely remembering him, Barnes has apparently made it the Soldier's new mission to make Steve happy by taking the 'fake it until you make it' approach to mental health. It's all so tragic and noble they ought to sell the film-rights to Hallmark or something.
It's also probably going to implode in spectacular fashion if Sam doesn't do something. Professionally he knows he's way out of his depth, and what's more he shouldn't be counselling friends, but he's also the one with the access and the knowledge so really he doesn't have much of a choice here. He also can't stand to see Wanda looking helpless, so he enlists her in his plan to start getting people to deal with their shit.
He's been considering for a while now that her freaky-ass mind powers could help James get his head a little more together. He'd actually gone so far as to suggest it to Steve which, it turns out, had been a bad move.
As much as Steve trusts Wanda, he'd totally freaked out at the suggestion.
Oh, he'd hidden it behind a veneer of cool consideration and calm, collected reasoning, uttering sensible phrases like "Let's give it a little more time to sort itself out naturally" and "It's good to have another option to fall back on". But Sam knew him well enough by now to know that was all total crap, and Steve just wasn't willing to trust his best friend's safety and sanity to anyone but himself. He'd even doubled-up on all the Stark security in the base with Pym tech "Just in case".
In case of what he wouldn't specify, maybe he thought Stark's lack of fondness for Bucky ("Oh, excuse me for not instantly going all googly-eyed over the guy who killed my parents. I'm-working-on-it!") might impact the performance of his equipment somehow. Now that he was out of survival mode Steve seemed to have lost all composure where the other man is concerned. He's even started running interference when Sam's trying to discuss counselling with James. It would be adorable if it wasn't so frustrating, and yet another reason Sam's half convinced that Steve's more than half in love with his childhood companion.
Thank Thor and all the other gods it isn't reciprocated; Sharon is exactly what Steve needs even with all the baggage of her family connections. And all Sam needs to tell him exactly where Barnes' interest lies is to see his rapt focus and utter dejection when Natasha enters a room before quickly leaving it again. Poor guy. As if he hasn't suffered enough. Not that Sam doesn't understand the appeal, and the fact that Nat will kill him quickly and efficiently if he ever says that out loud is a big part of it.
But now he has Wanda onside and they're going to go direct to the source. Despite his best ("Slightly suffocating me here Steve!") efforts, Cap can't watch-over his friend every moment of the day. And this should be Barnes' decision.
Wanda's said that she should be able to tell when he's alone. Apparently being around Steve isn't as easy for James as he makes out. So when she comes knocking at his door at the ass-end of the night to tell him that Barnes is awake and in emotional distress - but not with Steve - he pulls himself together and gets ready to go do his thing. Then they hear a scream that sounds distinctly like Natasha. Except it can't be. She's not back until tomorrow.
Steve suddenly comes running along the corridor, stopping where Wanda and Sam are currently standing.
"What's happening? Are we under attack?" Steve looks panicked and as if he's about to go charging into the kitchen before even waiting for the answers.
Times like these it's impossible not to see that Steve is from a totally different generation. There's no way a red-blooded guy brought up in the internet age would mistake that for a cry of distress.
Wanda has clearly picked up on even more of what's going on as her cheeks are rapidly turning the same bright scarlet she's so fond of wearing.
Dear god it is way too late - or too early, he can't decide - to be dealing with this, but somehow he still finds himself feeling the need to protect Steve's 1940s sensibilities.
"Hey man, you get Wanda back to her room or somewhere secure, I'll check it out. It's probably nothing. Someone's probably just got a cramp or something."
Wanda snorts before trying to disguise it as a cough. Steve shoots them both a look. He's from the 1940s, he's not stupid.
"Just let me know he- that everything's all right." Clearly he's already checked Barnes' room and found it empty.
Steve escorts Wanda back to her room like the gentleman he is, and Sam feels like a tool for a second or two before sucking it up and gamely venturing into the kitchen.
It's dark. That's the first thing he notices, and he'd think it was empty if it wasn't for the second thing he notices. The unmistakable silhouette of a woman's bra hanging off the kitchen lamp. Well damn. Barnes has got some serious game.
He hears a soft murmur followed by the surprisingly light sound of Barnes' laughter. Now he knows he's intruding. He clears his throat to announce his presence though he's surprised they didn't hear him coming. They must both be seriously distracted. He fights down the amused smile so they won't hear it in his voice.
"Umm guys, is everything all right in here? We heard a scream and Wanda said she felt someone in emotional distress?" That's his story and he's sticking with it.
There's a distinct pause before Natasha finally answers him. "It's all fine, thanks Sam, I was just demonstrating something that happened on the mission to Bucky-" Sam hears a quiet interruption from Barnes and a hiss(?) from Natasha between words "- and I misjudged my landing. He's keeping me company down here until my pride recovers from my fall."
Riggght...
"Right..."
Like he'd believe that. Not even Vision would fall for that excuse.
It seems as though whatever Barnes has done has broken the Black Widow if that's the best she can come up with. Once he's over his surprise at the whole situation he's pretty sure he'll be happy for them. His crush on Natasha is down to manageable levels, and despite the fact that both she and James are disaster areas emotionally, they might actually be good for each other.
He's now doubly-glad he didn't take a piece of Clint's action. He'd really thought Tasha shooting Barnes in the leg was a more likely outcome than this. He clearly needs to brush up on his Russian Death Glares if he can't tell 'I want you dead' from 'I want to jump your bones'. Clint's going to be insufferable.
He'll have to table his talk with Barnes for another time. For now he has a national icon to get back to bed.
"...as long as you're sure you're both okay. I need to go tell Steve to stand down, he's half convinced Hydra are going to storm the place at any given moment." In other words guys - you owe me.
"Tell him everything is fine Sam. I'll see him at breakfast." He was contemplating turning the lights on, but James piping up derails his plan for mischief. He knows how hard it is for the guy to draw attention to himself in any way and he doesn't want to hurt his progress. So with a tired-sounding "Can do" he leaves them to it. Bed is calling and he can give them hell about all this tomorrow morning after sleeping has been done.
However, as he shuffles back up the corridor with a wave, not only is Steve there but also Clint - already looking smug. Oh boy. Maybe he can head this off at the pass.
"There's no problem, it's just Bucky and Natasha in the kitchen."
Steve looks mildly surprised and no less concerned. "She's back already? Is she hurt, I heard a yell?"
"Nah, nothing for us to worry about." Best to keep it vague.
Clint laughs. Hawkeye is great usually, but right now Sam wishes he could pull-off one of Tasha's death-glares (the 'wishing you bodily harm one', not the 'I want your body one' obviously).
"Yeah I know Nat's yells and that wasn't her 'I'm in distress' one. I was right wasn't I? Come on, I was so right."
"What's he talking about?" No way Steve is going to let this go now. Thanks a million Clint.
He still had to try though. "Come-on man, it's almost 4am, we can play 20 Questions after a few more hours' sleep."
"No, rules are rules. I'm right, so pay up Bird-Boy. I win."
Shit. So much for brushing this under the rug. And excuse me? Bird-Boy?
"Bird-Boy? You know your codename's Hawkeye right?"
"HawkEYE. Totally different vibe."
Yeah says you.
"Guys?" Steve's sounding a tad frustrated but Sam is honestly too tired to care.
"Look it's way too early for this. We can talk about it in the morning."
"No way, you're not getting out of it. Tell me or I'm going in there to see myself."
How is it that the least mature of all of them (with the possible exception of Stark) is the one with the wife and kids?
And hell, if that's how he wants it Sam's going to join him on his level.
"Your funeral" he says with a scoff. That was a scoff right?
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Steve's moved on from frustrated to irritated.
"My victory you mean. Just admit it man. I mean I even got the time-frame right!" Man why won't you just shut up?
There's a muttered "I coulda sworn I used to be in charge around here..." from Steve.
"Yes, OK, you were right. Happy now? Great."
That's it. He's had enough. He tried to be a good friend. This one's all on Bird-brain. He can have the world's two scariest Soviet assassins after his head. Sam is so out of this.
Clint actually fist-pumps.
"You all said I was crazy but do I know our girl, or do I know our girl. I can't wait to see Rhodes' and Stark's faces." Death-wish thy name is Clint Barton.
"No-one is going anywhere until someone explains all this." Oh no, Steve's pulled out the Captain America voice.
There's no way Barton would be stupi...
"What's happening is that I'm now two grand richer because these bozos didn't believe me when I said Tasha would be jumping Barnes' bones before the month was through."
Bang goes that theory. And hey! He hadn't taken that bet. OK so he hadn't believed Clint's prediction either, but no fair dragging him into it.
Steve looks stunned. "That's not..." he looks at Sam. Sam's had enough and with a sigh he just nods.
"Really?" Steve now sounds stunned too. "But I haven't even been able to get them to be in a room together for a team briefing."
"And no-one thought that was the least, little bit odd? Tash being all avoidy?" Clint asks.
Umm, yes, me.
"I just figured she was still a little off-balance with the team after everything that's happened." Steve still sounded perplexed "I mean Bucky's always been good with girls, but he's shot her - twice."
That's what Sam had logically assumed too.
He wonders if he should be saying this out loud, but it's too much effort.
And Steve's not finished working through this it would seem..."Plus it's Natasha, and with what happened with Bruce last year...".
Yeah he'd heard about that. Didn't get it. Made even less sense than her and Barnes.
"Sam you took this bet?" Steve sounds disappointed in him. How is this his deal?
"Hell no, I'm just the judge, too rich for my blood." Steve frowns. "And making bets about your friends' love lives is all kinds of wrong obviously..."
Clearly Steve wasn't buying it.
"Fine, so I would of if it wouldn't have made me feel guilty from taking money away from his kids. Not like I thought it was likely with what you told me about her and Banner, and the fact that Barnes is still severely traumatised and barely holding it together on a good day."
Well someone needed to say it. Pretending all was right in the world of Bucky Barnes wasn't going to help anyone. Steve looks sad but resigned. He knows, he just doesn't want to acknowledge it.
"You've both obviously never heard her talk about The Winter Soldier." Clint's words trample all over the moment. Nice.
"He's like her assassin-idol or something. She used to get so much stick from the other agents when she'd go haring off at the slightest rumour of him after Odessa. Of course none of us thought he actually existed so more fool us. But the second she met Barnes, found out he was non-evil, had been through similar shit to her, speaks fluent Russian and is hot and funny besides, she was doomed, it just took her a few weeks to realise it."
Maybe Nat and Steve aren't the only ones with a thing for the long-haired assassin...
"Are you sure you don't have a thing for Barnes?" Sam knows he sounds highly amused.
"I'm a happily married man as you well know," Clint replies "but yeah maybe a little. I mean you've seen him shoot right?"
Oh lord, he was surrounded. Maybe they should band together and form an appreciation society. Cap already had one, it'd only be fair.
Clearly he was going to have to be the unbiased voice of reason in all matters James Barnes. Though he would admit the guy did have a certain 'James Dean' thing going on when he wasn't busy looking like a grunge rock reject.
"It's like they're Soviet soulmates." He swears Clint isn't usually this annoying.
"Bucky's American Clint."
"Where's your poet's soul Cap?"
"I do art not poetry..."
He walks - well more trudges - away and leaves the two of them to it.
It's definitely way, way too early for all this.
Remind him why he'd wanted to be an Avenger again?
He presses the finger-print scanning button that opens the door to his rooms. Oh yeah. Cool shit like that. And saving the world. That was good too.
Entering his own space - finally - he heads to the bedroom and throws himself face-first on to the soft covers of his bed with a groan.
Tomorrow - well later today - he's going to have that talk with Barnes. Then he'll chat to Clint about over-shares and find out exactly what's going on in Tasha's head. If she'll let him.
And if he gets through all that by lunch, maybe he'll just make a full day of it and have the most awkward conversation imaginable with his friend/hero about whether or not he's repressing feelings for his risen-from-the-dead best friend, and how he feels about the possibility of James being in a relationship with Tasha - if that's where that's heading.
But now he simply lets his eye-lids fall shut, and thinks only of blue open skies and the joy of flying.
