**A/N: Before we get started (hehehe), I'd like to note that this is one of my favorite songs. It's incredible. But I have a love affair with Chris Carmack's voice so maybe I'm biased.

Chapter 41- A Fragile Thing Hangin' On A String

"Well the heart; it's a fragile thing hangin' on a string. It don't take much. And a soul; it's a little bit stronger. It takes a little longer to use it up. But when, when it all comes down, 'cause it's gonna come down, you're gonna look around and wonder how you got to where you're standing right now. Dancin' on the Devil's stove, playin' with the fire below. Pushin' your luck, dippin' your toe in the water. It's a pedal down to race the train. Chasing down a hurricane. A bullet in a spinnin' revolver."

~Spinnin' Revolver, Chris Carmack


"Yeah, I really like that," Bethany murmured to their contractor and designer, the two helping Bethany create her dream house. All of Steve's input had already been inserted and Bethany had loved all of it; now it was just about the little details that Bethany wanted to include. "But can we make it bigger?"

"The room, or the whole house?" The contractor, Michael, asked. Steve already knew the answer; the house. It seemed to be a constant with her. Steve had assumed that they'd build a quaint little house but Bethany had made it clear that she wanted it to be big. Her reasons weren't just for material value. She didn't want this grand mansion. She just wanted a bunch of decent sized bedrooms for visitors, and in the future, children. She hadn't included that last part, but Steve knew this was a fact.

"The whole house," Bethany replied. "I know I keep saying that, I just want the rooms to be a good size and I want a lot of them. Maybe five, including the master bedroom?"

Michael and the designer, Adam, looked at each other quickly before nodding, fixing the size of the home on the computer. "Lots to decorate, Mrs. Rogers," Adam commented. "We'll be busy the next few months."

"There's a few things that I want to pick out myself," Bethany explained. "A few trips to the wonderful IKEA, but like you said, a lot to decorate. I've always had my houses pre-furnished and just picked out odds and ends every few years."

"New beds, new couches, washing machines," Steve replied, teasing Bethany with the last one.

"Well, your place now is really nice. Homey," Adam said, looking around the room. "I'm assuming you want the same feeling?"

Bethany nodded. "Warm, soft colours, lots of large windows and enough walls for all my photographs."

"Sounds like a challenge, but I'm ready," Adam said with a smile. "I have a feeling you'll be less picky than some of the socialites I deal with however."

"I can guarantee it," Bethany offered with a chuckle. The four continued to draft over the plans for another hour before Michael and Adam left. Bethany continued to look over the drafts, smiling to herself. Steve couldn't believe how happy she was. He assumed she would be, but it seemed like she hadn't stopped smiling in days. He was glad that he was the one to put that smile on her face. She seemed to care a whole lot less about the Avengers' Facility and Steve still being a part of the team—and therefore her too. Steve had provided her with what she really wanted and more importantly, needed. She had a definite promise of a future that wouldn't be completely intertwined with Steve being Captain America.

Steve began to play with the ends of Bethany's hair as she continued to jot down notes of other things she wanted to include or change now that she was thinking more about it. Slowly, his fingers moved higher and higher until they were massaging her scalp. Bethany let out a soft hum, but looked at Steve when his fingers stilled. "What? What's wrong?"

"When we were having sex in the bathroom," Steve began, holding his hands in his lap. "Didn't you hit your head really hard?"

"Yeah?" Bethany asked, not following. Steve reached out and pinched her skin. "Hey! Ow! What was that for, you big jerk?!"

Despite her words, she wasn't completely upset and it confirmed Steve's question. "That actually hurt? Like real pain, not just out of obligation?"
"It really hurt," Bethany nodded. "Why, you think me hitting my head and feeling pain are related?"
"Maybe," Steve said with a shrug. "Think about it Doll. Cognitive recalibration. Didn't Bruce say that something was either covering or stabbing a specific part in your brain that enabled pain?"

"Something along those lines," Bethany replied. "I guess it makes sense. Maybe hitting it… loosened it? Uncovered it? Science is so weird sometimes."

Steve rose his brows, a soft smile on his face while looking down at his body to prove his point—he was well aware about how weird science could be. "You happy with your designs?"
"I am," Bethany said with a nod, looking at the designs. "What about you? What do you think? You like it, right? Please tell me you-"

"Yes Doll," Steve rushed to assure her. "I love it. And how happy it makes you. Really, all I want from the house is a balcony so we can watch the sunset together and a porch so we can watch Jamie play in the front yard."

"Wow, you aren't difficult to build a house for at all," Bethany teased, reaching out to touch his cheek. "Until the house is ready, I'm completely fine with any living arrangement. Whether it's in a hotel or in a dorm room in the Facility, or a close by apartment, I care not."

"Good, because you heard what Michael said," Steve encouraged, pulling Bethany's chair closer to his, earning a soft giggle from her. "The earliest the house will be done is the end of July, assuming nothing goes wrong. We already hired a huge team. Which, by the way, we're okay with the money, right?"

"Yes," Bethany nodded. "Look, the house building money is coming straight from a savings account dedicated solely for this reason. Plus, didn't we agree not to worry about money?"

"Yeah, but didn't we also agree to pay for people's paychecks?" Steve asked, still not sure where that money was going to come from.

"Stark Industries lawyers are digging into those letters and bonds that Howard left me," Bethany explained. "But I technically still own a share of Stark Industries and with savings… I don't think we need to worry. Maybe just be more aware of our finances?"

"You know I would if-" Steve began but Bethany shook her head and chuckled.

"I'll be more aware, I know you still aren't completely understanding of money in this time," Bethany promised. "Oh, it's almost four. Are you ready to talk to Theo and Jen? And then Jackson?"

"I feel like it'll be an easy conversation with all three of them," Steve promised.

Bethany nodded, cleaning up the designs and placing them on a box of packed DVDs. Steve and Bethany had agreed that they really didn't need Jackson anymore. All the work Bethany was planning on doing, she could do it with Jamie in her arms or in some kind of travel crib. Besides the Ultron fiasco, Jackson hadn't really watched Jamie all that much. He was mostly there to help take care of Theo, not to mention be his homeschool instructor. Depending on Theo's decision, Jackson could very well be out of a job.

"I'm gonna go wake Jamie up," Bethany sighed, only for Steve to grab her wrist when she tried to walk away.

"Umm, isn't the first law of sleeping babies to not wake them up?" Steve asked, chuckling.

"He's been sleeping all afternoon. If we let him sleep any longer, he'll be up all night and that's really not what I want," Bethany explained. "Dealing with a whiney Jamie now opposed to one who won't sleep later is much more desirable in my opinion."

"I'll deal with him tonight," Steve suggested. "Let the boy sleep."

Bethany sat back down into her seat, a moment of complete silence washing over her. "I'm tired," she realized, looking towards her husband with exhaustion in her eyes.

Steve chuckled, kissing her lightly. "You've been really busy lately."

"So have you," Bethany pointed out.

"But I don't need as much sleep as you do," Steve replied as the doorbell buzzed. "I got it."

Bethany took in a deep breath of air as Theo came in, telling Steve that Jen would be down in a few minutes, she was just taking some muffins out of the oven. "That's actually okay, since we need to talk to you alone first," Steve explained to Theo as the entire group moved to the living room, sitting on the couch. Theo plopped in between Steve and Bethany, but Steve put his arm on the back of the couch, his palm open. Bethany smiled, taking a hint, and placing her hand inside of his.

"Is there something wrong?" Theo asked, looking to Bethany.

"Not at all," Bethany promised. "We just need to talk about some things."

"Exactly," Steve continued. "Bethany and I both promised that when the time came, it would be your decision, not ours. It's your life, we just want to make sure that you get to make the most of it, while also not having to suffer anymore pain."

"Whatever you decide, we'll support you," Bethany added. "So if you want to stay with your mom, we'll do everything in our power to make sure that you two are safe and taken care of. But if you want to stay with us, that's fine too. We don't know what your mom wants to do in terms of living arrangements, but we wanted to ask you what you wanted before she makes a decision."

The couple waited patiently as Theo twisted his hands together, as if he was afraid of what Bethany and Steve would think of his decision. Either way, they'd be happy for him. All they really wanted was what was best for him, and now that they knew Jen was in a good place and willing to be there for her son, they were comfortable with letting the mother and son live their lives without the Rogers telling them what they could and couldn't do.

"I really missed my Mom," Theo finally admitted quietly. "I don't want to leave her ever again."

Steve and Bethany smiled softly to each other. They had a feeling that this would be his decision. Steve wished that he had an hour to be with his mother again so he could tell her about his life since she passed, and more importantly, about his family which he wished she was still apart of. And despite the fact that Bethany didn't wish for her mom, she wished she had had a better relationship with her mother.

"Then why do you seem sad?" Bethany pressed on.

"Because I'll miss you too," Theo explained, leaning against Bethany, giving her a half hug.

Bethany returned the gesture, kissing the top of Theo's head. "You may end up living with us anyways, Theo, so it's not like this is goodbye forever."

Bethany and Steve had also talked about Jen and Theo staying in their house. They wanted to make the basement half a gym and half a living space. They had a feeling at one point in their future, Sam or Jen or Kiley would end up living with them. They wanted a separate space for them to have for everyone's sake.

"Anyone hungry?" Jen asked as she stumbled into the apartment, her hands full with a tray of muffins. Steve immediately jumped into action, rescuing the muffins from falling on the ground.

"Positively starving," Steve replied, placing the muffins on the table in front of them.

"Wow," Jen said, sitting down on the chair across from the couch. "You two work fast. Almost everything is packed and ready to go. I thought your house wouldn't be done for months?"
"It won't, but we're moving into a Facility dorm room, just so we won't have to deal with the commute. It'll make our lives easier," Bethany explained. "But we asked you here to find out what'll make your life easier. Have you made a decision? About staying versus leaving?"

Jen wrung her hands together in her lap, much like Theo had done earlier when tasked with a similar question. Steve eagerly took a muffin, his appetite never completely sated. "This may sound like an odd question, but will Jackson be following you to the Facility?"

Steve stopped his muffin halfway to his mouth, looking at his wife in awe. "Pardon?"

"We were going to talk to him after," Bethany supplied, giving her husband a warning look. "Wh-Why do you ask?"

"He and Theo get along really well and I don't really want to take that from him," Jen explained, her tone showing that it was the truth, but her eyes saying there was something more. Bethany couldn't exactly blame Jen for having feelings for Jackson. The man had already shown that he loved Theo and wouldn't run away at the first sign of trouble. Plus, his dark caramel colored skin and dreamy brown eyes was enough to make any woman swoon.

"Well," Bethany began slowly. "Steve and I both feel like we don't need Jackson to watch over Jamie anymore. I mean, yes. We'll need a sitter once in a while, but we don't need a Nanny. I can take care of Jamie when Steve is working. We were going to offer to keep paying Jackson, since he's still helping Theo with school. It's really up to where you want to stay."

"We've already talked to Maria," Steve picked up where Bethany left off. "The dorms will be purely for employees, but they'll need some nurses. If you want, you can join us there. And if you decide to learn how to use your abilities for good, we can help you. You can have a future there, if that's what you want."

"But," Bethany stressed quickly. "It doesn't have to be permanent. You can leave whenever you feel like our lifestyle is too overwhelming and you need a dose of normalcy."

Jen laughed, running a hand through her blonde strands. "I think that's the best choice for us right now. It can always change, but for now, this is what makes the most sense for everyone."

"Well then, it's settled," Bethany declared with a clap of her hands and a giant smile. "We'll talk to Jackson later today. If he's still willing to stick around after we tell him our plans, like I said, we'll still continue to pay him. It'll make it a lot easier when I need a break to just call him over immediately."

"Breaks?" Steve teased, taking another muffin to eat.

"Like showering or impromptu naps," Bethany offered. "They've been known to happen when you're not around you know. The world doesn't stop just because you aren't around."
Her words were harsh, but Steve could tell she was just teasing him and there was no actual harm in them. In fact, Steve knew that Bethany could deal with Jamie in the shower or hold off her often required naps until Jamie also needed one. The breaks were mostly the two of them sneaking off to have some alone time, but neither one of them were going to say that aloud.


Bethany leaned against the workbench, waiting for Tony to look up at her, but he continued to gaze down at his work. "Can't sleep?" He asked her, despite his lack of attention.

"What else is new?" Bethany asked, rubbing her eyes. She had slept for a total of twenty minutes before she woke from a nightmare. She had laid in bed for three hours before she decided she needed to do something productive and knew that Tony would be down in the lab, as he always was.

"You want to talk about it, or just tinker?" Tony asked her, earning a smile from the blonde. Things with Tony could be so simple. Steve would push her to talk, but to be fair, lately she had also been pushing Steve to talk to her about his dreams.

"Just tinker," Bethany answered with a sigh, Tony showing her his blueprints before she started to work with him. "Can you not tell Steve I was down here? If he asks or whatever."

"More secrets?" Tony asked, not disapproving, but clearly questioning whether this was what Bethany wanted.

"He wants me to see a therapist," Bethany explained. "He has for a long time. And I probably should. I just… I don't want to tell some stranger things that are hard for me to even admit to myself. That and I feel like they'd just tell me I am being overemotional."

"I think it's against their oath to brush something off as just overemotional," Tony mumbled as he tightened a bolt. "Plus, you have bipolar disorder. Even on your meds, you react to emotion much different than you should. Sometimes you overact, sometimes you overreact."

"I was under the impression that doing that was just human nature," she replied, her eyes feeling heavy but her brain still going a mile a minute. "That it was normal."

"What's the worse you ever got?" Tony asked suddenly, stopping his tinkering. "With the bipolar stuff?"

Bethany stopped her own tinkering to think hard about that. "It was a few years after Steve was missing and I woke up one morning feeling amazing. I was laughing and smiling and acting normal. Well, not normal. I was really happy. Too happy. But as I was walking down the street and I saw a little kid with a spray painted garbage tin lid that looked like Steve's shield… I went crazy. I started having a full out narcotic breakdown in the middle of the street. I was like that for about a week. My happy stages never lasted long, and ironically, me being happy was bad in the eyes of your father since he knew what would follow. And in between those two, I was so overcome with grief that I couldn't be reasoned with. It wasn't until the eighties that I started to get a grip on things. And then when Steve came back, it was like he was the magical answer."

"But you still have bipolar disorder," Tony pointed out.

"Every time I feel emotion, it's scary," Bethany realized. "A surge of happiness or sadness. Because I know that I can have an episode at any point. I've made sure to be diligent with my meds and more than that, take more than I need. I've found a healthy dose to control my emotions and for my body. I've even gone off and on with no dangerous side effects or episodes. It's still there though. Whenever they do a scan of my brain, it's still there, haunting me. Teasing me. As if it's waiting for the perfect moment to come out."

"Do you think it will?" Tony asked quietly.

Bethany looked down at the blueprints in front of her. Everything had a way of seeming so simple when you were building things. Even the impossible always seemed easy to her. But her life? That was a different story. "I think there's a bigger chance of me getting depressed again, to be honest. And my bipolar disorder only feeds into that emotion. But that's not why I'm losing sleep."

"Maximoff? Her tinkering with your mind?"

"No," Bethany replied. "It wasn't even Loki. I was in a black room, all alone. I could hear voices, people insulting me, but I couldn't see them or feel them. It was like I was… trapped in my own mind." Bethany picked up her tinkering, only for the tool to slip from one hand and cut her other hand open. "Oh, shit," she hissed as the pain flashed briefly over her. Tony handed her a greasy towel, which Bethany used to clean the blood as the two watched her skin stitch together. "You always forget what pain is like until you experience it again. You remember that you were in pain, but you forget exactly what it feels like."

"So this whole feeling pain thing again…" Tony began, leaning against the workbench.

"Steve thinks it's from when I hit my head a few days back," Bethany said with a sigh. "Who knows if he's right, but the point is that I can feel pain again. It's an odd relief, to be honest. But feeling pain again just reminds me that about half a year ago, I wanted to age. Now that the pain is back and I know that suiting up isn't what I want, I realize that I'm screwed. Ultron buried Bruce's research deep enough that we may never get it back and Bruce is off making flower headbands and dancing the hula…"

"Romanoff thinks we should find him," Tony added. "It would at least solve your problem."

"But not his," Bethany sighed. "I don't want to drag him back here if all he wants is to get away. Find himself maybe? Or just know that he won't hurt the ones he loves. Or at least more than he already has."

"Is him being away from Natasha really creating less hurt though?" Tony asked, doubt written all over his face.

"No," Bethany quickly agreed. "But Bruce is a smart man. He was doing what he thought was best. It sucks for Natasha, trust me, I know what it's like for the man you love to crash a plane into water with no intentions of returning, but we need to respect Bruce's decision. I respected Steve's. I was never upset about his decision… that I can remember. I knew that if he thought it was what was best, then I had to trust in him."

"But your aging?" Tony pressed on. "If Bruce is gone-"

"I can wait a few years," Bethany interrupted. "Until either he's back or someone else, or even me, has found a new solution. I'm not totally against looking young and attractive when my kids graduate high school. I just don't ever want to look like we're the same age. I can afford to wait ten years at the most. A lot can happen in ten years."

Tony offered his aunt a smile before the two of them resumed their tinkering, not saying one more word about emotions.


When Bethany snuck back up to her bedroom, Steve was tossing and turning in the bed. She spent a few seconds watching over him worriedly. She could see a thin sheen of sweat glistening over him, courtesy of the New York street lights leaking through their blinds. He was mumbling and she knew that she had to wake him up. He always woke her up, saving her from her nightmares. And while she always appreciated him tearing her away from whatever was haunting her, part of her was always left wondering when she would have woken up naturally and if she would have found a solution to her dream while she was still sleeping.

Sitting on the little sliver of bed left on Steve's side of the bed, she placed her small hand on the middle of his chest. His heart was pounding wildly inside its cage. "Steve, wake up," she said in a normal voice first. When he continued on, she placed both hands on his arms, giving them a firm squeeze and shake, repeating her words louder. It took three tries until Steve jolted awake, Bethany narrowly dodging his head hitting hers.

She sat there patiently as his shoulders heaved as he replayed his nightmare over and over again. Bethany knew Steve all-too-well; her best chance of getting him to talk was to wait until he recovered from the initial impact. "Sorry," Steve mumbled suddenly, making Bethany flinch in confusion.

"You're sorry?" Bethany asked, her brows furrowed. "About what?"
"I woke you," Steve explained, taking a hold of her hands. His flesh was hot and clammy. Whatever he had dreamt of had taken a full body hold on him. Nightmares were common between the two of them. Bethany couldn't remember the last time either one of them had gone a full week without having one. Even back during the war, Steve had nightmares up to five times a week.

"Actually, you didn't," Bethany admitted, knowing she needed to make Steve feel better. "I had a nightmare too. I snuck out to get some fresh air. To tinker. To work things out in my own messed up way."

"What a pair we make," Steve said, trying to add humour to the situation, but still reliving the memories of his dream. "What did you dream off?"

"A black room," Bethany began slowly. "I was all alone, but I could hear people taunting me, their words bouncing off the room. I had never felt so alone as I was in that moment. You?"

Steve sighed, leaning back against the wooden frame of the bed. Bethany waited patiently for him to open up; she knew he would. It was just a matter of time. His fingers found hers, even though he was looking at the ceiling. Bethany gave him a comforting squeeze, trying to show him that she was there for him.

"Uh… HYDRA was torturing me," Steve began, clearing his voice when it began to cloud. "For information. I wouldn't give them anything, so they brought you in. You told me not to give them anything because you'd just heal. That your pain would keep the world safe. So I didn't say anything." Steve looked down at their intertwined hands, as if he didn't have the courage to look at her. "So they kept torturing you in front of me. You cried and screamed and died, but you kept telling me not to say anything. That's when they brought Bucky in."

This wasn't the first time that Steve dreamt that HYDRA had tortured Bucky to get information from Steve. He dreamt it during the war and it only seemed to return full force when Steve learned that HYDRA really had tortured Bucky to the point that they made him their weapon. "Did you tell them?" Bethany whispered. "Did you get that far?"

"He told me not to," Steve whispered back. "So I didn't. He was dying and I knew that he wouldn't heal like you. It felt so real Bethany."

"They usually do," she replied softly. "That's what makes them so scary. The fact that they seem real or could be real."

"Come here," Steve whispered, pulling at her softly. Bethany crawled over Steve onto her side of the bed, curling up beside him under the heavy blankets.

"What did HYDRA want?" Bethany asked curiously. "Were they looking for something in particular?"

"I can't remember," he replied truthfully. They laid there, silent for minutes on end. Despite the fact that Bethany was exhausted and it was well after midnight by now, she wouldn't sleep until Steve did. He needed her awake right now. Bethany traced the protruding veins on his arms before kissing his neck. "Do you think he's okay?" Steve asked, his voice breaking the silence startling her.

"I don't know," Bethany admitted, knowing that Steve was talking about Bucky. "It seems to me like he can take care of himself. And I feel like if someone found him, like HYDRA, wouldn't they be dangling that in front of your face?"

"Maybe," Steve replied. "It kills me. Not knowing. If he's alive, if he's dead. If he's better, if he's worse."

"I hear ya," Bethany said with chuckle, causing Steve to look down at her in confusion. "Oh, come on Rogers. I went almost seventy years wondering whether you were alive. Even after everyone told me that it wasn't possible and that I needed to start living my life again, I knew I had to see your body in order to believe anything. And do you know how many times I told people that? And people kept telling me that anyone could learn to love again and it wasn't necessarily a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing."

"And you told them it wasn't just that," Steve finished, knowing that Bethany's depressed state in his absence had a lot more to do with guilt than a pining heart… although, her inability to let go of him at all only made her love him more in Steve's opinion.

"It sucked," Bethany replied. "After ten years, people had no more sympathy for me. Hell, after two years of moaning and groaning, they had lost all patience with me. But I was feeling everything in a much more intense way than they were. Love, lost and guilt are all very powerful emotions. The only one who really understood that I wasn't going to get better overnight was Peggy."


Peggy flopped onto the bed next to Bethany's at the Stark's California home. Peggy was in town for business and had yet to have a proper conversation with Bethany that didn't revolve around Bernard Stark, Howard's newest exotic pet addition. The two of them had watched Jarvis try to wrangle the flamingo into his exhibit until Bethany finally lost her patience and went out to do it herself. Her lack of fear of getting attacked by the "beast" as Jarvis referred to him, was the key to getting it to follow her instructions.

"Any plans tonight?" Peggy asked Bethany as the agent kicked her heels off her feet. Bethany had been reading a book, but all the words and sentences had a way of blurring together. Her ability to actually absorb information had been less than stellar lately. She blamed it all on her inability to sleep through the time. While a year ago she could sleep for days, now it was as if she would never sleep again.

Howard suggested Bethany follow him home to California so she could see some new scenery and hopefully get some much needed sunshine. While Bethany had to admit that being in California was easier than being in New York and she spent a lot less time crying, she had no desire to ever go out and do something. She wasn't in the mood to deal with people. Her patience was wearing thin and she would much rather live in her own mind.

"More of this, I guess," Bethany replied, gesturing to her book.

"Weren't you on that page when I saw you earlier?" Peggy voiced.

Bethany closed the book, putting it on her bedside table. "Aren't you observant. I keep re-reading the sentences but not grasping what they're saying."

"You sound like you need to get out of this bubble," Peggy explained. "I think you're bored."

"I know I am," Bethany said with a sigh. "But I don't feel like doing anything."

"You're allowed to miss him," Peggy added, knowing she was swimming into dangerous waters by bringing up Steve. "I miss him too. Not as much as you, evidently and understandably. But your life doesn't need to stop just because his did."

"But did it? Did his?" Bethany asked, looking to her friend. Bethany could feel her protective mask breaking, her façade of not feeling anything crumbling. But she didn't care. She knew she was safe with Peggy. "If I knew he was really gone, I could move on."

"Could you?" Peggy asked, obviously not believing her.

"Maybe," Bethany whispered. "I don't know. What I do know is not knowing? It's killing me. Slowly. Everyday. I can't stop thinking about him. About whether or not he wondered where we were, if we were coming after him. Or about that moment he realized that we're not."

"I thought Howard was still searching for him," Peggy offered lightly. Bethany knew Peggy gave up hope long ago, but she wouldn't say that to the blonde's face.

"He is," Bethany sighed. "But with a smaller team and shorter expeditions. His body is still out there, Pegs. With those temperatures, it would have frozen, which means he wouldn't… rot."

The last word was hard for her to say. Even thinking about Steve Rogers, the perfect specimen rotting was disturbing. "Are you afraid that one day, he'll return and you'll be with someone else?"

Bethany's eyes showed just how much that thought had occurred to her. "It's not that I want to fall for someone else. But what if that did happen? I didn't plan to fall for Steve. Things would have been much simpler if we had stayed friends. It could happen again. I don't even know what would happen if Steve came back. He has every right to hate me and never want to see me again."

"Based on his last words, his last thoughts, I'm completely certain that he would want to see you," Peggy assured her quietly, placing a comforting hand on Bethany's arm. "You still can't keep living like this. You can mourn him, think about him every moment of the day, but you're going to go mad with only your brother for company."

"And Edwin and Ana," Bethany added stubbornly.

"And Bernard too?" Peggy offered, earning a soft chuckle from Bethany. It was quick, but it was a win in Peggy's book. "Look, I have to go out for work tonight. I need some backup. Someone I know who can take care of herself and knows how to blend in. Would you consider joining me? I think that being faced with a problem other than Steve would be beneficial to you. And then you can go back to moping and being as pathetic as you want."

"Tell me how you really feel," Bethany joked, but there was little energy in her voice. "I'm afraid that if I stop thinking about him for a moment, I'll forget about him completely. And he deserves to have someone think about him at all times."

"That last part may be true," Peggy granted. "But you'll never forget him completely. It's completely and utterly impossible. You loved him too much."

"I never told him that though," Bethany spurted, trying to keep her emotions in check. She did not want to cry. Not anymore.

"He knew," Peggy promised. "Even after everything. Bethany, he knew you weren't yourself, he was just too hurt and stubborn to fully let himself know this. I'm sure if he had more time he would have fought like hell to get you well again."

"I'm not sick," Bethany insisted. She hated when people tried to insist that there was something wrong with her. She was emotional; since when was that a sickness.

"You made decisions in a moment of weakness," Peggy said calmly. "In a moment of panic. It wasn't you. You've told me that before; that you would change your decision."

"I-I don't want to talk about this," Bethany almost shouted as her breathing increased, her memories flooding over her. The pain and the blood after she visited the abortion house. How dirty she felt on her way back to the base. How right her decision had seemed in that moment. The look on Steve's face when he confronted her about knowing.

"Okay, okay," Peggy began quickly, trying to calm the blonde. "You don't need to put on a happy face and try to return to normal if you don't want to. You take your time. The world may not wait, but it's the best thing to do for yourself right now. Just consider about coming with me? I think it'll do you some good. And more importantly, me. I need someone I can trust."

Bethany let out a dry laugh at that. "And you trust me?"

Peggy blinked for a moment before taking Bethany's hand and squeezing it firmly. "With my life."


**A/N: I think the next chapter also has a flashback in it? I wrote them so far apart that it actually slipped my mind, but we're just letting it happen :P

The idea wasn't to let this story get as long as the last (it had 60 chapters...) but it may end up being around the same length. I still have a bunch of stuff to write, and the end of the Ultron plot (like as in the end of the movie) comes in at chapter 45 and I still have Ant-Man to put in and while that'll probably be two-three chapters tops, there's so much development and... There's just a lot. And I'd like to start the Civil War plot really early on in the next story so please just hang on, okay?

adela: I've definitely flip-flopped with it, that's for sure. Honestly, it depends what ends up happening in the film.

Jo: I technically have the Age of Ultron plot to finish off, but after that, Ant-Man will come into play. Let's just say Bethany has a little history with Hank Pym and I'm not going to let the opportunity slide away.

anonymouscsifan: He technically still has one more movie to complete under his contract, and I remember in one very small interview he let it slip that he had one movie than all fans thought he had. No one seemed to notice that but me, but I wonder if he's already signed something on the DL?

newyorklights: I definitely agree that Bethany will see the merit in both sides, but I still feel like she needs to either pick a side or sympathize more with one side or the other. We'll see what happens in the movie!

AngelLove1728: I've been prepared for that possibility LITERALLY since I started this fanfiction back in 2014. I'm prepared. And while I don't want him to die, it would actually be a really good plot for me to write. I'm even prepared if Tony dies (no one has seemed to question this possibility. He was supposed to star in one more movie after Age of Ultron, which everyone assumed would be part 1 or 2 of Infinity Wars, but then put him in Civil War.) and believe me when I say, damn it'll make for a good story. I don't want anyone to die, but if they do, I've got it covered. Trust me :)

Cleo9427: Yeah, I'd like to think if there was a terrorist attack that the Avengers wouldn't wait until a motion is passed before coming to save me. I get the need for the government or whatever to have some sense of control, but sometimes you need to act and deal with the consequences later in order to actually save lives. The bad guys are still going to go out there and do bad things. They would probably use the Accords to their advantage.

FeliciaFelicis: See, my sister basically had the same idea, but when I reminded her that my chapters are 4000+ words, the movie will probably take 20 chapters to write and that I'm working full time this summer and then back to the balancing of school, work and finding a new co-op placement for NEXT year, writing is going to take a backseat priority. So yeah, definitely not going to have enough time to write the same thing twice :P I figure I have to make a decision at some point and live with it, but it's difficult! I watched the last one in the tunnels of my school and I'm pretty sure a bunch of guys were wondering why I was smiling like crazy, trying to keep myself from dancing in my spot.