Chapter 43- See My Strings, Tied to An Angel

"Falling free, unashamed. Couldn't be tied and tamed. Lost my wings, drawn to danger, unforgiven now I'm bound. Found and freed, tethered to hope and need. See my strings, tied to an angel. Made in heaven, freedom calls sea of wonder. This could be the first one. First enthrals then draws me under. Drowning and undone."

~Strings, Roddy Frame


Along with the Rogers clan and Tony, Jen, Theo and Jackson tagged along for their beach day. In a startling turn of events, Wanda had also accepted the invitation to join them. Bethany had offered out of obligation and honestly didn't have a preference whether she came or not, but she had been under the impression that the lone twin would have preferred to stay at the Tower. But when the witch's eyes lit up at the idea of leaving the Tower, Bethany realized that Wanda felt a little trapped behind enemy lines.

Wanda and Tony hadn't really made peace. Wanda still blamed Tony for the death of her parents, even though Tony had nothing to do with it and had stopped the mass production of weapons years ago. Tony let the woman think what she wanted to, not even teasing her. He knew that she couldn't handle being teased right now. But apparently Wanda liked being around Jamie. She said there was something soothing about Jamie's memories. The worst thing that had ever happened to Jamie was when his parents weren't around, but what quickly followed that memory was him reuniting with them and the happiness that followed. Bethany was just happy that Wanda had found some non-destructive way to mourn her brother.

On the flight to the chosen exotic location, a secret Tony was dead-set on keeping, Wanda and Bethany talked about Pietro's possible future. Bethany didn't want to give the girl false hope about reviving her brother. Bethany had already talked to Helen Cho and Jane Foster, two women who were part of the science grant she was awarding to a woman scientist with great potential. Since they already had an applicant who was close to narrowing down a possible path to human revival, Cho agreed to work closely with her these coming months and if everything seemed to be going in a positive direction, they would award Teagan Madyzee the full grant. While there were a lot of interesting other ideas pitched, right now, they all agreed this was something they sorely needed and most importantly, needed to be kept in the right hands.

However, since Pietro's body was in cryofreeze, he wasn't going to be buried. "You can still get a headstone," Bethany reminded Wanda. "Maybe a piece of what used to be Sokovia? Have it engraved and lay it wherever you want? Not all soldiers get to choose their final resting place to also be where people go to remember them. I feel like a funeral, or just some place for you go to talk to him will help you heal."

Wanda let out a long breath of air. Bethany had been careful to not disturb the woman's emotions. If she let out an accidental surge of energy, the plane could crash. But Wanda only looked down to Jamie, who was sleeping in Bethany's arms. The baby hated flying, but Wanda worked some of her magic and was able to get the boy to sleep, which meant that they didn't have to hear him cry for the foreseeable future.

"I don't know," Wanda finally whispered. "I feel like if I do that, I'm admitting to myself that he's really gone. And I know that you told me not to have definite hope in regards to bringing him back, but if I tell myself that he'll come back eventually, it hurts less."

Bethany nodded, looking over to Steve. There was a time when she would tell herself that Steve was coming back to her and her pain would ease just a little. But when that happened, her guilt would intensify because she spent those sixty odd years wondering what would happen if he did return. It was understandable if he didn't want to forgive her.

"Well, if you change your mind, it's never too late," Bethany promised her with a soft smile. "Are you looking forward to moving into the Avengers Facility? Or are you going to look for an apartment or something away?"

Some of the agents, doctors and scientists were considering living away from the Facility while working there. No one could really blame them. No one really wanted to be at work when the day was done. But the apartments the Facility was offering were free and newly renovated. It all just depended on what people preferred. Bethany was just happy that she was going to get a little of both. Her house, which would be starting construction in two days, was close enough to the Facility that it was a quick walk over, or a quicker drive. But at the same time, when they were at their house, they wouldn't be at work. It was all just perfect, in Bethany's opinion.

"Might as well stay at the Facility," Wanda replied with a shrug. Bethany left the conversation at that. Wanda seemed so lost right now without her brother. She just wanted to make sure that the girl was on her way to a better place. Looking over to Steve who was sitting at the far end of the jet, he offered her a small smile. He had been watching and no doubt listening to the conversation.

When Wanda turned her attention to the sky, Bethany used this as an opportunity to go back over to her husband. "I'll keep an eye on her," Steve whispered as he wrapped an arm around Bethany. "I know you're worried."

"I'm worried about all of them," Bethany corrected.

Steve couldn't help but chuckle, kissing Bethany's temple. "You're such a mom now."

Bethany giggled when she realized that Steve was right. "Mama Avenger," Bethany joked, rolling her eyes. "I talked to Nat earlier. She seems… well, she's in a good place I think. I don't know what to make of it. She and Bruce weren't technically a couple, but she obviously trusted him and feels betrayed. Or is missing him. I'm not sure. She doesn't make it easy for people to understand what she's feeling."

"Do you think I should talk to her?" Steve questioned. "Or would I just make things worse?"

"I feel like Nat is mature enough to know when she needs to talk to someone or not," Bethany explained. "She'll come to us when she's ready. As long as she's making an effort to live her life, that's a good sign. I know how destructive pushing that back can be."

Steve looked down to his lap, obviously feeling a little guilty. He knew what he did was the right thing, but it still hurt him to know that she had punished herself so much. "Hey, stop," Bethany said suddenly. "That wasn't your fault. It was mine. I was being weak, stupid and selfish. If I could go back, I'd try a little harder. I don't know how successful I'd be, but I kind of just admitted defeat immediately."

Steve blew out a heavy breath of air, looking for the right way to bring this up. He did. Often. But Bethany always shook it off. "Every time I suit up," Steve began slowly, his voice quiet. "The thing I'm scared about dying the most is knowing how it would impact you. I don't want you to revert back to that. I want you to be strong. I don't want you to suffer."

"You think I don't want that?" Bethany asked, a little shocked. "Of course I want that, Steve. I wouldn't choose to be weak. And it wouldn't just be me anymore. Before, I was living for nothing. I felt like I didn't have a purpose. And then SHIELD came along and it completely took over my life. But now? I have a baby to look after. He'd be my motivation. But that doesn't mean I'd be able to be strong."

"I just don't want you to be sad," Steve whispered. "Especially because of me."

Bethany gave him a tight-lipped smile showing that she wasn't happy, but trying to be supportive. "The same goes for you, Steve."

The group had set up a half tent that was meant for a day at the beach while Tony went off to get some food. He returned with an actual cart full of sandwiches, soda drinks and chips. Bethany was going to declare that they had enough food for the entire beach until Steve's face lit up with happiness and stated "oh great, I'm starved."

Tony frowned with his mouth filled with a ham sandwich in regards to Bethany slathering sunscreen all over Jamie. The baby was making sounds of displeasure, clearly not enjoying the feeling of the cool and thick lotion. "Why are you doing that? He has your healing ability."

"There're a lot of reasons," Bethany stated, having already thought long and hard about this herself. "To start with, we don't know the extent of everything and he's too young for me to be comfortable with undergoing all those tests and be comfortable with it. Secondly, I don't want him to think he's different from any other kid-"

"Except for the fact that he could regrow his limbs," Tony supplied.

Bethany gave Tony a frustrated and pointed look, handing the sunscreen over to Jen so she could do the same for Theo. Steve took Jamie from Bethany's arms, securing the baby against him as he continued to eat. "You got some fruit, right?" Bethany asked, digging into the cart as Steve finished off his third sandwich.

"I can follow instructions, I just choose not to," Tony stated as Bethany pulled out a container of boxed fruit and moved to feed Jamie after handing Steve another sandwich.

"It's hot," Theo complained, his face already red from the heat. Bethany had dressed Jamie in a little bucket hat to keep the sun off his face, but he was already starting to get a little red from the extreme heat.

"Finish eating your sandwich and then we can go swimming," Bethany instructed automatically before looking to Jen for approval. She didn't mean to mother another woman's son, but she had become so accustomed to it in the last few months that she did it without thinking.

Jen offered Bethany a small smile and while Bethany didn't know how to take it, Jen didn't say anything against the suggestion. Bethany returned to feeding Jamie, the baby eagerly opening his mouth every time he finished what was in his mouth. His legs were kicking freely against Steve, as if he had the compulsive need to move them. It seemed that since he learned how to walk, he didn't want to stop doing it.

When everyone was done eating, except Steve, but he accepted that twelve sandwiches were enough for now, they walked down to the edge of the ocean, everyone quickly letting some cool water lower their temperatures before they all went about their separate things. Bethany, Steve and Jamie decided to walk along the beach for a while, the baby holding onto his parents' hands as he slowly walked along the sand. Every once in awhile, he would let his toes wiggle in the sand, laughing and looking up to his parents for approval.

"He's so sheltered, Steve," Bethany realized after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, the line between his brows deep in questioning.

Bethany sighed, letting Jamie's hand escape hers as the baby decided he wanted to sit in the sand and play with it. "Okay, so sure. Most babies aren't exposed to sand until they're around Jamie's age. But he's never met another baby, Steve. We've holed him up in the Tower for almost his entire life."

"We did that for his safety," Steve reminded her, watching as Jamie tried to grab the sand, the fine particles falling from between his fingers.

"I don't want him to be homeschooled, Steve," Bethany whispered, looking out into the distance to where Jen, Jackson, Wanda and Theo were hanging out. "Theo doesn't have very many friends or any at all. Not since he left school. I want Jamie to meet people. To make friends his own age. To learn how to share."

"He's not even one," Steve spoke calmly. "We have time. Bring him to a Mommy and Me class. Or I'll bring him even, if it really means that much to you."

"I just want to give him a sense of what it means to be normal," Bethany whispered. "I don't want him to be pretentious and…"

"Like Tony?" Steve offered, the couple looking over to where Tony was sun tanning where they set up the sun tent.

"Kinda," Bethany allowed.

"We've been given a huge responsibility," Steve reminded her, looking down at Jamie to assure he was still happily playing. "We get to decide his future. What we teach him and expose him to will determine who he becomes, whether it's good or bad. He's old enough now that interaction and exploration is important. So let's do it."

"Steve," She sighed, but didn't finish her thought. But Steve understood all the emotion and concern in her breath.

"My job is important," Steve allowed. "But so is this. So is he. I'll make time. I'll make sure it works. I promise."

"Please stop making so many promises," Bethany whispered, looking down, avoiding his gaze. "They're not worth anything until you start making good on them."

She didn't say that to make him upset, he knew that. But their entire future was built on both big and little promises that Steve had made to Bethany and she was right. They weren't worth anything. Not with their lives. His promises could only serve as assurances. Until the construction on their house was complete, Steve words were just that; words. The finished house would be the result of a bunch of old promises and more importantly, would show Bethany that his new promises would have merit.


Since Bethany hadn't slept well the night before, she ended up falling asleep when Jamie took a quick nap. Everyone else had scattered. Steve didn't ask where they were going, he only told them he'd see them all later that night at the hotel they were staying at. He made frequent trips down to the water to dip Jamie's hat in it so that his head would stay cool. The mom and son were cuddled together, Jamie's curls sticking to his face, the little boy very sweaty from the heat. Bethany, however, didn't seem to be bothered by the heat at all.

When Jamie finally woke up, Steve adjusted Jamie's hat after brushing some of his curls away from his face. Jamie sat up, watching Bethany sleep for a moment before looking up at his father with that beautiful shine of wonder in his eyes. "Momma," he spoke softly, placing a hand on Bethany's arm.

Steve smiled, nodding to his son. Something that Steve loved about Jamie's first word was the way he said it. As if he was questioning it, even if he wasn't. And then there was the fact that it didn't come out a 'mom-ma' but 'mum-ma'. "Shhh, she's sleepy," Steve told his son, pulling him into his arms, balancing Jamie's feet against his leg. Jamie's chubby hands started to wipe at his face, little moans of distress slipping from his lips. "I know, it's hot," Steve agreed, deciding to bring Jamie into the water. Earlier, they had let Jamie dip his feet into the ocean to cool down his body, but now Steve was going to go deeper.

Carrying the boy into the water, Steve waited until he was chest-deep until he slipped Jamie into the ocean water, keeping a tight hold on his body and only letting half of Jamie's body into the water. Jamie immediately broke out into laughter, his legs kicking in the water.

"You like that?" Steve asked with a smile. "You hate bath time but you love swimming?"

Getting Jamie to take a bath was barely ever a treat. Some nights, when he was too tired, he would allow his parents to bathe him. Every other bath night was met with aggressive splashing and cries of displeasure, trying to pull himself out of the tub. Sometimes he just got sponge baths to avoid the mess. Sometimes, Bethany or Steve would end up hopping in the tub to keep him in line. Jamie didn't mind being in the shower too often, but usually if they were bringing him in the shower, he wasn't the one getting washed.

"So it's just soap you don't like?" Steve teased the baby.

The two of them played in the water for a little, Steve enjoying how much Jamie seemed to be enjoying himself. Earlier, Jamie had helped Bethany, Steve, Jackson and Theo build a sand castle—and by 'helped', it really just meant he was throwing sand and laughing, followed by him sitting on the finished product. The entire time, he was smiling brightly, that beautiful gap-toothed smile where his lips were wet with drool and his eyes were scrunched together. When Jamie was smiling, it was hard to focus on anything else.

"Aw, he's so cute!" A girl's voice rang. Steve tilted his head, watching as a group of girls, around twenty, moved over to them. "Look at that smile."

Jamie continued to smile, throwing his head back so he could look at his dad's face. "Yeah, he's something special."

"He's soooooo adorable," Another girl chimed in, a flirtatious smile on her face. "He must get that from his Daddy."

"I-uhh," Steve stuttered, feeling a blush take over his face. Suddenly, he was surrounded by the girls, them equally cooing at Jamie and Steve. He tried to diffuse their aggressive flirtatious remarks by mentioning Bethany as much as he could, but the girls just continued on. One girl had even reached out and touched Steve's arm. He was almost sure someone had touched his butt. Jamie seemed to be loving the attention, doing whatever he could to get the girls to laugh.

"Just got a call from Maria," Bethany's voice interrupted, a great amount of frustration laced in her voice. Steve felt his shoulders sagged as relief washed over him. "Final death count from Sokovia is one-hundred and seventy-six. Seventy-seven if you count Pietro, which I do."

Bethany crossed her arms, looking at the pack of girls. "Do you mind?" Bethany asked, a fake smile plastered on her face. The girls slowly dispersed and Steve caught a 'what a bitch' from one girl, but he knew Bethany could care less what a bunch of young girls thought of her.

Her arms, however, didn't uncross. "What? Are you mad at me? Are you jealous?"

"They're young and perky and-"

"Stop," Steve interrupted, placing a hand on Bethany's shoulder. "For starters, it's our anniversary. And that means something to me. And then there's the fact that I wasn't even paying attention to their looks. And even if I was, they can't compare to you. No one can."

Bethany was visibly fighting back a smile. "Mumma," Jamie spoke up, raising his hand up, trying to reach her face. Bethany took the baby from Steve, kissing his nose.

"What do we think, Jamie? Is Mumma being silly right now?" Bethany asked her baby, bouncing him lightly in the water.

"Tell her 'yes', Jamie," Steve instructed, but Steve really wasn't expecting for Jamie to look up at his father and repeat the word.

Bethany laughed, bringing him close to her and placing a dozen kisses on Jamie's cheek. Steve reached out and pulled his family into his embrace. "Aww, you're growing up too quickly, Jamie."

"Jamie, can you say 'Daddy'?" Steve tested, repeating the sentence twice but only getting a blank look from the baby, followed by a fit of unexplained laughter. "I guess not."

"He's stubborn," Bethany reminded Steve.

"He gets that from you," they both said before laughing, Steve cupping Bethany's face and leaning down to kiss her softly.

"Did Maria really call?" Steve asked, taking on a more serious tone.

"Yeah," Bethany said with a sigh. "That's the final death count. One-hundred and seventy-seven."

Steve blew a heavy breath of air, mulling that over. "That's… that's a lot," Steve struggled to speak.

"It would have been more if we hadn't interfere," Bethany reminded him. "We saved so many others, Steve. We're helping them build their futures. We can't beat ourselves up for that, Steve."

"It still shouldn't have happened," Steve reminded her.

"Yeah, but we can't change that now," Bethany pointed out. "Look, I figured you'd want to know. I didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did I just…" She sighed, looking to where the girls had migrated to another hunky man. "Look, you're ridiculously sexy Steve-no, stop laughing, why are you laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry, please continue. I want to see where you're going with this," Steve insisted, but she didn't miss the slight pinking of his cheeks. Bethany barely went a day without telling him that he was attractive, but for some reason, today it was different.

"Not if you're going to judge me," Bethany told him seriously.

"I won't," he promised.

Bethany looked around for a moment, taking in the different groups in the water. "You tell me I'm beautiful, and I know you aren't lying," she finally settled on, looking up to him. "And I feel it sometimes. But sometimes I look at all those young, attractive girls drooling over you and I feel fat, old and ugly."

"Bethany… You're what? One-hundred and twenty pounds? If that. You have the appearance and body of a twenty-year-old and you look incredible in a bikini," Steve assured her, his hand moving to the curve of her hip. "Much better than anyone out here, and that's not just my biased opinion, okay? You're thin, fit and your curves are deadly. I don't like you being self-conscious. What's changed from 1943?"

"About seventy years and a baby," Bethany pointed out.

"The only thing about your appearance that's changed," Steve began, pulling her closer to him. "Is the experience in your eyes and your boobs, but they've only got better."

Bethany rolled her eyes at that, but looking down at Jamie since she knew he was the reason for that. They were starting to return to normal size thanks to Jamie now preferring to hold a fork or a bottle, making their use less and less common. "Come on," Steve suggested, holding out his hand for her. "Let's go enjoy what's left of the day."


Steve had rented a motorcycle and after dropping Jamie off with Jackson and Jen, he and Bethany decided to roam the city. The sun had set an hour ago, setting a calm, romantic tone, but sex was the last thing on either of their minds. They were enjoying the lights, their drive, their soft touches. They had stopped for ice cream, the two of them flirting and teasing each other like a new couple would. They found a live band and sat and listened to them for a while before Steve got up and offered his hand and the two of them danced for a while. It was nice, being together, with no interruptions. They didn't worry about the rest of the world. For the night, it was just them.

"Well, it's almost midnight," Steve said, looking at his watch. It had been the gift Bethany gave him a year ago.

They were cuddling together on the almost now abandoned beach, watching as the waves drew in and out in a rhythmic motion. "You okay with letting our anniversary go by without sex?" Bethany teased, pulling herself closer to him.

"Absolutely," Steve whispered, kissing the crown of her head. "In moments like this, I don't need sex for us to feel close."

"Mmm," Bethany hummed, completely agreeing. "Although, we could have sex right here."

"Ha," Steve began sarcastically. "That's exactly what we need in the tabloids right now."

"I don't think it could get worse than what they're saying now," Bethany reminded him. "Okay, let's talk us."

"Isn't that what we were doing?" Steve asked, his brows pulled together in confusion.

"I meant what our next year is going to hold," Bethany offered. "I feel like we should agree on a plan. I mean, you like order and plans, right? I just think that if we agree on a course of action-"

"It'll suck all the romance from our life?"

"M-maybe," Bethany said with a laugh. "I'm not suggesting we plan out every single time we have sex for the next year. I'm suggesting that we merely discuss other things."

Steve sighed, knowing what 'other things' entailed. "I know what I said about having another baby before the Ultron fiasco. I just feel like with the Avengers Facility, it isn't a good time."

"T-that's not all I wanted to talk about," Bethany promised. "But I do feel like it's never going to be a good time, Steve. Everything in the world could be perfect and you'll still have apprehensions."

"I want more kids," Steve assured her. "I just think that we'd be irresponsible to willingly try for a baby right now. Imagine if you were pregnant when Ultron attacked. Or we had a newborn. It wouldn't have ended well, Doll."

"I know," She insisted, a little too aggressively, clearly frustrated that Steve was right.

"Beth… I need you to tell me whether or not you're really okay with this whole Avengers Facility thing," Steve said with a sigh.

"Why?" Bethany asked, looking up at him. "Babe, that's not going to change anything though, is it? If I said yes, I know it wouldn't change anything."

"Can you please answer the question?"

Bethany rested her head back against his chest, closing her eyes and thinking about it carefully. "I'm okay with it," she promised him. "I know it'll make you happy, and if you stay home all day with me, I'd probably go insane."

"But what about you? Will you be happy?"

"Yeah," Bethany replied. "Listen, I'll have you, I'll have Jamie, I'll have my friends close. If I complained about how great my life is, I'd be a selfish human being. But can you blame me for worrying about your safety? I don't want anything to happen to you, Steve."

"Nothing will-"

"You can't actually assure that!" Bethany said a little too loudly, but her emotion pressing her on. "Steve, what you do? It's so dangerous. I know. How many times have you seen me get hurt on the job? Or even die? And okay, I'm not as big, strong or tough as you, but still, Steve."

"I know," Steve whispered. "You're allowed to worry. I just want to make sure that you aren't… unhappy."

"I'm happy," Bethany promised with a soft smile. "We're going to have our own home. Our son is happy. And we're in a good place. I'm happy."


**A/N: There's a 90% chance there will be no chapter next week, just simply because apparently I am incapable of writing smut. I set up the scene two weeks ago and haven't been able to finish it. Chapter 45 is down and 46 is half way done, but 44 needs another 1700 words and something actually EXCITING to happen in it so until my smut muses come back to me I'm not sure when that'll be unfortunately.

anonymouscsifan: Haha, yes I had multiple requests to include Deadpool, so I found a subtle way to include him :) Three years sounds about right for me! It was April 2012 to the best of my recollection.

Jo: He's almost a year old now! He's big for his age though and is smarter than most babies because of his genes.

Scandalous: Haha, he definitely would be good at that!

MariaM95: You actually aren't the only one! A lot of people want her to! I find certain weeks, I get a bunch of people wanting her to be on Steve's side and the next on Tony's.

greenscar: Haha was it awesome? I personally like chapter 45 but 44 isn't finished yet so it'll be a while until I actually get to write that. Bethany knows that Steve would never cheat on her, but she doesn't like women disrespecting her and their relationship by flirting with him. Fair enough, if you ask me.

HellCat: Steve and Natasha will have a talk together soon enough :)

123go: Hopefully there will be another baby soonish ;) I know exactly when, I'm just trying to sort out the chapters and timeline :D