Chapter 3


"So, you ever gonna tell me what happened?" Kyle asked, pointing at my scratched up face. I shrugged. The coffee place was full of its regular Saturday night customers, and some people who I've never seen before in my life. Seeing as this is almost smack down in the middle of London, I'm guessing hipster tourists. The musician was playing his guitar and singing along to whatever tune he decided to copy. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. It just was.

"It's a really long and harrowing story." I answered. I looked down at my twiddling thumbs, getting increasingly more uncomfortable by the second.

"We all have one of those. Mine is when my pet rabbit ran away. Scarred me for life when we found its body. So now you have to tell me yours." He said. In all my life, I've never known Kyle to be so demanding. It was really starting to piss me off.

"Look, can you just drop it? I really don't wanna talk about it." I said politely. He just sighed in defeat and went back to cleaning his mugs.

I was getting more and more agitated each second I was here. I abruptly leapt off the stool and walked out the door. Kyle obviously saw me, because about a minute later I heard his voice from right behind me. Usually I would get scared being in an alleyway alone with a strange man. But this was Kyle. He wouldn't hurt me… right?

"I'm not gonna beg you to tell me what happened, alright? Just checking in on you." He said.

"Yeah? Well don't. I don't want people checking in on me to see if I'm okay. Oh – and for the record – I'm not sure I'll be coming back to the shop." I said. He looked down, let out a small flippant breath of laughter, and stalked towards me.

"You know what that means, right?" He asked cockily. I gulped in fear as he came towards me.

"What are you on today, Kyle?"

Flagrantly ignoring my question, he grabbed onto my wrists and pinned me to the wall. "It means you have to pay me back for all the times I let you play your shit songs at my place. God. You almost drove the place out – but I did it just for this moment." He said. I was scared stiff. He was about to place his disgusting smelling lips onto my own when I heard footsteps running towards us. My eyes were squeezed shut so I didn't see him at first, but all of a sudden the grip on my wrists loosened and then let go of me completely.

"Get off her you asshole!" The unmistakeable voice of Jensen rang through the alleyway. I opened my eyes and saw Kyle curled up in a ball cradling his bleeding face. Jensen bent down so he was face to face with me and put his hand on my shoulder. What is it with weirdos touching me? I shrugged it off and stormed out of the alleyway. I hate this. I hate everything. Ever since this happened everything's been changing – everyone's been changing too. I heard footsteps following me. I wasn't scared because I knew it was Jensen, but I wasn't thrilled about it either.

"Luna!" He shouted. I groaned and turned around.

"What?" I screamed back.

"What was that? Are you hurt?" He asked.

"Look, what happened, happened. There's nothing you or anyone else can do to make me feel better right now – unless perhaps they figured out a way to bring the dead back to life. I just want someone who cares enough." I snapped.

"What are you talking about? I care enough." He said matter-of-factly. I scoffed.

"No you don't! All you care about is your precious ego. You care about being liked and your stupid reputation. I just want to skip this bit." I said, continuing to walk on.

"Skip what bit? Oh – and for the record, I don't have a precious ego. I have a precious seventeen-year-old daughter." He said, catching up to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, I'm choosing to ignore your absolutely bullshit comment and go back to your question. I mean that I want to skip the part where I grieve. Okay? I want to skip the funeral, I want to skip until I'm old enough and successful enough to live all on my own. That's what I want." I argued with him. We argued all the way until we got home. And it went on through the night. Me getting angry and him trying to reason with me. It was so annoying and horrible.

"Luna, stop this at once!" Gran spoke to me.

"Me? Me stop this? I'm not the one who chose any of this. I'm not the one who even wanted any of this. And I'm sick of you guys backing him up with everything. I'm sick of him acting like a bodyguard instead of a fucking father!" I shouted with finality. Nobody said anything for a good few seconds. It turned really awkward in the dining room.

After feeling a little queasy at the thought of everyone in the room ganging up on me, I pushed my chair out of the table and stormed upstairs. I slammed my door shut and started bawling my eyes out on mum's bed. I hugged her pillows for comfort, her rose scent wafting up my nostrils. It was almost as if she was there. Except not. It felt like a weird replica of mum. It didn't feel right at all. After sobbing myself to sleep I woke up to the sound of Jensen's snoring comparing to the sound of the birds chirping outside. It's weird. My mum always used to get woken up by my snoring.

I carefully got out of bed so he wouldn't wake up. Not because I cared about whether or not he had a rude awakening. It was because I couldn't be bothered with him. I silently crept to the bathroom without making too much noise. The floors creaking almost disturbed him but luckily he didn't wake up. I looked at myself in the mirror. My bad eye looked even worse after all the crying. Both of them looked red raw and swollen. My cheeks were tearstained and my lips were cracked and dry. God. I thought. Why did it have to be her?

Once I did my usual morning routine, I went downstairs wearing the same pyjamas I did last night. Nobody was awake so I checked the clock. 4:34 – I must have slept really early. I turned on the TV quietly just so it was on in the background. I used to do things like that when I had a cold or something. Mum would always come down to find me huddled under the duvet paying close attention to the quiet TV. She'd smile at me and say how lucky I am to live in the century of modern technology. Then I'd groan in acknowledgement because I felt like a zombie. And she'd check my temperature, get me some medicine, and she'd lay her hand over mine and watch TV with me before she went to work. Then we'd go back home after she finished those nights and we'd stay there until I got better. Sure, we spent a lot of time at Gran and Grandpa's, but the nights we spent at our home felt even better. But now I won't even have that option.

I wonder what's going to happen to the flat; will they sell it for funeral costs or keep it for a while? I don't know. To be honest, I don't even want to think about it. By now everyone else will have probably made decisions on my behalf. I hate that. To the world, she may have been one person, but to one person; she was the world.

I heard footsteps coming downstairs a couple of hours later. When the door opened I turned to see Gran. She was in her nighty and slippers and she was carrying a glass of water. Once she saw me, she gently placed it on the table and sat next to me. She placed her hand over mine, smiled sadly at me, and began to speak.

"What was that all about yesterday?" She asked. She wasn't being judgmental or condescending, she just genuinely wanted to know.

"I'm furious. I'm furious at him, I'm furious at this whole situation. I just want it all to stop." I told her. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"I understand that you're furious at what's happened, but why are you furious with Jensen?" She asked.

"Because he was never there. And now he is and he's acting like he's the best thing that's happened to this family and it's just not true. He's like tinnitus. You know? I mean it's nothing but it constantly bugs you." I answered.

She sighed, and then shook her head. "Do you know how your mother and father met?" Every bone in my body wanted to scream at her not to call him my father, but I resisted the urge. I just shrugged moodily. "Well, Jensen was the new foreign boy, so everyone either wanted him or wanted to be him. Your mother was one of them, but she was incredibly shy. Jensen actually liked that she wasn't constantly talking to him, so he approached her and asked if he could get to know her outside of school. She agreed, of course. He came here that evening and he kept fumbling and making an embarrassment of himself, which she loved about him even more. They hung out a few times after that until your mother got sick of him not asking her out, so she asked him if he ever would. He was taken aback and did it right then." She told me with a fond smile on her face.

"But if they loved each other so much, how come it didn't work out?" I asked. "I could've had a dad who loved us both but I didn't." I said with such pain in my voice. How was it possible for one person to come in your life like a hurricane and wreck everything you've ever known?

"He loved you. He just didn't know he had you to love." Gran said. I nodded my head.

The funeral was a few days after that conversation. Things were still pretty awkward between me and Jensen. I was moving right after the funeral. I'd already packed everything I needed immediately from mum's flat and Gran and Grandpa's house. Everything else would be shipped later. Right now I was waiting to be introduced to the coffin where I would be told to sing a song for her. It was all I could do. All mum's friends, both from and outside of her school were there. Everyone was commenting about Jensen. It was surreal. And everyone was hugging me like they knew me and what I was going through, but nobody did. I didn't even want to have a big funeral for her. She probably didn't even fondly know half the people that showed up.

"…And now, her lovely daughter, Luna Fox, will sing a song for her." The pastor said. I went to the coffin and laid the lyrics on the podium. I opened my mouth and began singing.

"Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye - it could be for the last time and it's not right.
'Don't let yourself get in over your head,' he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you

Dead like a candle you burned out;
Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream to be heard, like you needed any more attention;
Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, 'I miss you. I'm so sorry.'
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you brought this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, 'I miss you. I'm so sorry.'"

A tear trickled down my face. I almost collapsed on my knees and started sobbing. I was hugging the coffin. I didn't know what else to do. I could feel everyone in the room staring at me in sadness. Jensen came up to me and tried to pull me off, which he almost succeeded in doing, but I used all my weight against him to hug it one more time. Jensen then successfully pulled me off. I ran out of the room in tears. How the hell am I going to manage never seeing her again? Why should that be my last memory of her face? All pale from blood loss and stitched up. A few minutes later, Jensen came outside. I was curled up in a chair with eyes dripping from my eyes.

"They're about to cremate her. Do you wanna come in?" He asked. I shook my head. He sat down with me. He wrapped his arms around me. I didn't hug him back. Not at all. But for the first time since I've known him I hadn't pulled away or made some rude remark about him. I just felt completely and totally numb. "I guess I can stay out here too."

"I want her back." I sniffed. He nodded his head.

"I know. I wish I could magic her back. She was one of the most incredible women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. But she lives on through you and everyone who's got the memory of her. And you know something else? Every time you look in the mirror, you should be proud to see her smiling back at you." He said.

"But it's not the same." I said. He shrugged.

"I don't know. You two were pretty similar. But we'll save that for another day. You're freezing." He said. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around me. I stayed like that for a while. When the service was over, me, Jensen, Gran and Grandpa went into a room on our own.

"Listen. I want you to have the best time in America. Call me whenever you need me." Grandpa said. I nodded my head and wiped away a solo tear. I gave him a hug as Jensen and Gran were chatting.

"I'm gonna miss you." I said. Grandpa shook his head.

"Well, we'll see you in the summer. That's only 5 months away. Do you think you can spend 5 months away from us? You used to really want that." He said. I stifled a giggle and nodded my head.

"I'll try." I said. After the most painful of goodbyes, Jensen and I were driven to the airport. All my luggage was checked and sent to the plane. I was allowed to get changed in the bathroom and then I came back out. I was wearing something really plain. I really didn't feel like dressing up to meet his family. I have nothing against them to be honest. Only Jensen. And even then I don't know why. I'm just way too depressed to be thinking about it like that.

It was a long flight; one I wish I didn't have to endure. There were screaming kids everywhere, a chatty person next to me, and someone kicking the back of my seat; but once we got there, I didn't really want to get off the plane. Something was keeping me glued to the seat until I absolutely had to leave. Jensen stood up and guided me off the plane. He must've done journey's like this for a long time.

Part of me kind of resented him for that. I don't know why, but I did. We got our luggage, and Jensen showed me his driver. Well, he was more of a bodyguard really. His name was Clif, and I didn't really know what to say when I was around him. He had a pretty intimidating look. Almost as though prison was his bitch – which of course it wasn't, or else he wouldn't be a body guard. But when he spoke to me he was actually really nice.

"Hey – I'm not even gonna ask how you're feelin'. I don't need to." He said before giving me a big bear hug. I hugged him back then smiled sadly at him.

"Thank you." I said. I know I didn't really need to thank him for anything specific. It's just that I needed that kind of comment. For someone to actually know how I'm feeling rather than ask me about it. We climbed into the car, Jensen in the front and me in the back.

It wasn't the biggest drive to their house, but we finally made it. There were a couple of cars parked in the driveway. Both very expensive looking. Honestly, I don't know why they even have them if they have Clif, but I wasn't going to start questioning everything. I'm way too tired for that. Jensen unlocked the door and we walked in. Clif, following behind Jensen and I. Danneel, Jensen's wife, was up waiting. She looked at me and smiled with tears in her eyes.

"Hi there Luna. I'm so glad you're here." She said. I shrugged. I didn't know what to do with all this attention at such a low point in my life.

"Hi." I said simply. What else was I supposed to say? I commend you on putting up with such an asshole for lo these many years? No. I wouldn't say that. I heard plodding footsteps coming into the room. A tired looking girl's eyes lit up once she saw the man next to me.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed, running up to him. He cradled her in his arms and started tickling her.

"Hey there JJ." He beamed. I got even more depressed looking at that. I never got that in my life. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Seeing this, Danneel took my hand and led me upstairs. She showed me a room with pretty plain decorations and a normal looking bed.

"Um, since this was such short notice I didn't prepare much, but I made the bed up with our spare bedding and I got you some tissues and plug adapters because I know that plugs are different in England." She said. I nodded my head, wiping tears away. "Um, you have your own bathroom which has soaps and shampoos and stuff in there – and we can go shopping for decorations and anything you want whenever you want. I want you to feel at home here. I know nothing can replace your old life, but I want to make your new one as comfortable for you as possible." She said. I really appreciated that.

"Thank you." I said. It was kind of awkward. I mean, this woman is my stepmum and I'm only just meeting her. I never thought I'd have one in my life. And mum must've absolutely hated this woman, which makes me feel guilty. Because she's so nice and I actually like her.

"Do you want anything to eat? It was a long flight." She acknowledged. I shook my head.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry." I said.

"Okay. Do you want to go to bed?" She asked. I nodded my head. "That's fine. You just have a good night's sleep and we'll discuss more in the morning. You must be absolutely jaded. If you need anything, our room's opposite and to the left." She said before leaving and closing my door.

I got into my pyjamas, climbed into this different bed with an old mattress, and hugged the pillow for comfort. I cried myself to sleep for the umpteenth night in a row. I guess if I'm going to adjust to new things, it'd have to be as soon as possible.


I just realised I never gave an A/N for this story on this website, so here goes:

Review this story. Please? That's really important to me. It keeps me going. Especially if you like the story. I'd really really really love it! And for those who don't know me, long time reader, first time writer. For this site anyway. I post a lot of the same stories on my various accounts on the web, so look out for them. I decided I'd post this one on here first as a little taster to see what you guys think of it. I know this isn't strictly an SPN story, but it's the closest I could get to actors of SPN so there we go. I hope you like this story so far. I've posted so many in such a short span of time because I had them already written, so the next chapter might be a way away unless you guys beg me for more. Haha. Anyway, as I said, review and stuff. I love you guys. Peace out or whatever it is you guys say to end these A/N's. :)