The phone.

Meeting with Toriel, meeting face-to-face for the first time in his life, was a strange experience- one that he would even describe as pleasant. She definitely wasn't like the Toriel in his world, or maybe she was, or... Well, it was a strange experience and he liked it. He would have been more polite back in his world, though, if he had known he was talking to royalty the whole time.

But the fucking phone.

Why hadn't he just left it behind? He didn't even know that it was possible to call him on it, especially not between dimensions. No, it shouldn't be possible. It should be impossible, it should be a pipe dream, and yet here he was with his phone off and likely several missed calls from Papyrus building up on it as he, rigid, walked around with the kid. He didn't dare turn it back on, not even to check his messages- as if he even wanted to do that in the first place. No need to hear that godawful voice again, screaming at him in that affected deep growl because of- what was it this time? Evaporating? His parallel self must have been up to something.

Not his problem. Not his problem anymore.

Sans put the offending item in the pocket of this hoodie, but it continued occupy his thought for hours while the afternoon wore on. He was just lucky that, like his Frisk, this child wasn't one to force conversation. They were taking pictures of freaking everything, or at least every monster that they came across, humming some tune to themselves as they went as though believing that nobody could hear them. It sure wasn't any tune he had heard before; the sound started to get in his head on a loop, but when he noticed it he didn't dare tell them to stop. He had displayed enough suspicious behavior for today.

So much for being careful. It was a good thing that the brat was an idiot.

The monsters in this world were different too. He had already learned that, but now he saw in more detail just how different. It wasn't that they were unrecognizable, but all of them were so much... softer. He was only able to put his finger on it when they reached the community of Froggits, which had taken up residence in an abandoned human village outside of the city, one closer by Mt. Ebott. Sans had never in his life seen a regular Froggit. They were so soft and white and squishy, calm and dumb as they hopped from place to place and stood stoically by empty houses. They didn't mind at all when the child took pictures, which they inevitably ended up doing despite the fact that the objective was the Final Froggits. When the two of them finally found those, they ended up being few in number, when back home those were the only kind to be found.

If they were this placid in this world, would it be possible for him to actually kill one without taking damage? Not that he really could fight the way he was right now, but it was a thought that Sans liked having.

Frisk looked so cheerful while they croaked with the monsters that again Sans had that feeling of the alien, the transient. He kept glancing at the sky, keeping the softly cloud-covered sun in his eyes to assure himself that what he was seeing was real.

"Sans, look!" One time he did this and he almost missed it when the child had climbed onto a stack of them, only to lose their balance and fall at the last moment. He'd burst out laughing while they picked themself off the ground with a hard breath; they glared as hard as they could muster, it only made him laugh harder. It didn't last too long before he moved, though; then he felt the weight of the phone in his pocket, and his thoughts clouded over again.

Mercifully, at some point they headed back to New New Home.

As they passed small and half-finished buildings, the whole place obviously under construction, Sans frowned and murmured, "aw jeeze, papyrus is probably wondering where i am." It was true in both senses. How long did it take to go to a human store, anyway?

Frisk got that look on their face, the same kind of look as when his real bro had called. It was hilarious, the twerp being worried about either of them, but he kept from laughing. He just waved, not answering to their concern, and said, "takin' a shortcut. see ya later, pipsqueak."

ah shit.

Oh well, he was already gone from there, back to the place in his mind where his new house was situated. This time Sans had to be careful not to direct himself all the way down to this world's Snowdin, under the mountain.

When he got there Papyrus was already waiting for him, making something in the kitchen. Seeing him, again, some of the tension returned and he stiffened. But he had been able to keep his eye from freaking out the whole time he was with Frisk, so surely with him too he would keep it under control. Sans sharply exhaled, and the sounds alerted his "brother" to his presence. Papyrus looked in from the kitchen, "SANS! I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU GOT OFF TO! I GOT BACK A WHOLE HOUR AGO, I WAS CONCERNED WHEN I DIDN'T FIND YOU HERE."

get off my back. "oh, i just went to hang out with the kid for a couple hours," he said with a shrug. Unbelievably the nagging ended at that, as he heard Papyrus say, "WELL I HOPE YOU SAID HELLO TO THEM FOR ME!"

"uhhh."

"NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD. I DON'T HAVE AS MUCH TIME TO SEE THEM IN PERSON AS YOU DO! WHEN YOU'RE AS COOL AS ME, YOU ALWAYS HAVE BUSY DAYS."

"uh." As he spoke, or rather resisted speaking while the other skeleton went on, a smell reached Sans' nostrils and he perked up, cutting Papyrus off mid-sentence, "are you... cooking something?" From his vantage points he hadn't been able to see this world's version of his brother cook anything, and he definitely didn't have this experience with his own. Still in a mild state of shock, and have wondering where he might have been learning, Sans kept sampling the air. It smelled like lasagna?

"YES! I'M SO EXCITED! SANS YOU SHOULD HAVE COME WITH ME, THEY HAD SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF NOODLES!" Papyrus had darted out of the kitchen, wearing a "kiss the cook" apron, and Sans rolled his eyes. "IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO REMEMBER THE NAMES OF ALL OF THEM, SO I BOUGHT THIS COOK BOOK AND IT TURNED OUT TO HAVE SO MANY RECIPES INSIDE!"

"hey uh, did you get the orange juice like you said you would?"

At this Papyrus hesitated, before beaming proudly. "OF COURSE I DID! I WASN'T SURE WHAT KIND YOU WANTED SO I BOUGHT ONE OF EACH IN THE STORE." Sans walked past him, opening up the door to the refrigerator, and stared at the brightly colored cartons before his eyes. "...OF COURSE, NOW NOTHING ELSE CAN FIT IN THE FRIDGE."

"holy shit," Sans wasn't even sure that he liked orange juice, he had just been going along with the being sick idea. He only ever tasted the stuff in the context of stealing a carton from the garbage- granted, these would probably taste better than that one had, but still. His smile broadened. A few of these were probably going to go bad. "are you sure you got enough?"

"W-WELL!" Papyrus folded his arms defensively, looking again startled by his brother's language. "YOUR HEALTH IS AT STAKE!"

"haa, holy shit."

Now he was doubly startled, as Sans looked back at him, blinking, and then back to the fridge that had been mostly empty this morning. It took Papyrus a second or two to get back on track with what he was saying, "YES...! AND... YOU NEED ALL THE VITAMINS YOU CAN GET! AND AS FAR AS I'M AWARE, HUMAN FOODS HAVE THE MOST VITAMINS, SO NATURALLY I'M GOING TO GET AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!"

With all that rambling something else occurred to Sans, then. "this is human orange juice, though, isn't it? are you sure that we can digest this?"

"NOT TO WORRY, BROTHER! UNDYNE SHOWED ME HOW TO MIX HUMAN FOOD WITH MAGIC SO IT GOES DOWN EASIER!" Sans would be happy if it didn't go down at all, actually; the twerp had explained to him once about how human food was made of more physical stuff than monster food, and had laughed hysterically at the idea that anything he ate would just fall out of his ribs and make a mess on the ground. He'd tweaked their nose pretty hard over that.

But nonetheless, as Sans glanced anxiously over the liquid Papyrus was assuring him, "I ALREADY TRIED IT WITH SOME OF THE LASAGNA JUST NOW AND IT WAS GREAT! IT TOOK A BIT LONGER TO DISSIPATE, SO MAAAYBE WE SHOULDN'T EAT TOO MUCH, BUT IT TASTED WORTHY OF A CHEF LIKE ME!"

"really?" He glanced left, seeing the steaming human food already cooked, cooling on the counter, and yet... sparkling. Smelled okay, didn't look appetizing. "...huh."

"SO ALL I HAVE TO DO NOW IS TREAT EACH OF THE CARTONS WITH THE SAME AND YOU SHOULD BE ALL SET!"

"uh. you're gonna do that to all of these?"

"YES!"

"...-cool."

Papyrus came back into the kitchen and Sans stepped back, slamming the door shut on the fridge in anticipation of the shrill order to close it- an order that never came. Despite the loud noise it made, his not-brother was still geeking out over the dumb human food and didn't notice, "ANNND AS YOU MIGHT HAVE JUST HEARD ME SAY, THERE IS ALSO LASAGNA THAT I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE USING THE COOK BOOK AND SOME INGREDIENTS FROM THAT HUMAN STORE! I THOUGHT I'D TRY IT INSTEAD OF SPAGHETTI TONIGHT." Papyrus frowned, touching a hand to his jaw, "HOPEFULLY UNDYNE DOESN'T MIND ME MAKING SOMETHING NEW WITHOUT HER..."

Pressed into the corner, Sans sniffed the lasagna again. As long as he didn't have to see Undyne here. "nah."

"WELL," his parallel brother shrugged, "I SUPPOSE IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW." He paused, looking Sans over. The smaller skeleton was still sniffing the dish, only half-focusing. "DID YOU WANT TO EAT DINNER WITH ME? OR IS THIS GOING TO BECOME BREAKFAST?"

At this, Sans looked up. "the fu- breakfast?"

"SINCE YOU SOMETIMES START SLEEPING ABOUT NOW!" Papyrus shrugged under Sans' incredulous gaze, shifting his eyes left and right. "UH, NOT ALL THE TIME? JUST SOMETIMES. ... ... YOU KNOW YOU DO! DON'T DENY IT!"

"i'm not fuc- i'm not denying anything i'm just-" hands in his pockets, Sans' shoulders arched; he knew immediately that he had to stop, and so exhaled. He made his smile a bit brighter, albeit only estimating what it must look like with his altered face. "i mean, i'm not tired. 'course i'm eatin' dinner. you can... uh, tell me all about the human city while we eat." Dinners with his own Papyrus didn't always go smoothly, hence why he usually spent evenings at Grillby'z instead. He was curious about this one.

Here, Papyrus looked positively ecstatic, and Sans' breath caught in his throat again for a millisecond. "WOWIE! OKAY! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!"

Sans chuckled, helping himself to the bizarre sparkly food. "i'm all ears, bro. ... well, it would be more accurate to say that I am no ears-" and so is little timmy because someone chopped those suckers off amirite? "but i'm sure i'll ear you just fine either way."

Papyrus let out a muffled scream and Sans winced, "-MY DAY WAS GOING SO WELL, I LET MY GUARD DOWN."

A second passed, and then Sans ventured, "...your royal guard?"

Papyrus flung his hands over his face, dramatically, to hide his smile, "STOP."

For the first time in years he was making puns around this joker and not getting slapped upside the head for it. Sans, too, was ecstatic.

So the evening passed.

That night, after an unbelievable round of reading Papyrus a very gruesome bed-time story, his not-brother helplessly protesting that this "is not how Fluffy Bunny goes!" the whole time, Sans still didn't sleep even after leaving him alone.

Instead, with the phone still heavy in his pocket, he spent the time looking for the key that the parallel version of himself must have. The key that would open up the shed at the back of the house. He knew that that shed was there; he had seen it several times already, unnoticed by everyone else in New New Home but hiding secrets he had glimpsed through the viewer of his machine.

Sans' own shed key- which he had unfortunately forgotten to bring with him- was gold, and it wasn't assured the colors would be the same, but he could reasonably assume that it would be the same shape. So he searched, keeping his eyes peeled for this version.

...

But it wasn't where he thought it would be.


In the harsh, windy Snowdin that had not been evacuated up to the surface, a tired and cold Sans finally came back to the deadened woods. It was only after a long couple of hours had passed, hours that he was dissatisfied with.

Making absolutely sure to keep out of sight of this world's Papyrus, he tried to check out the machine in the shed again, and even more than before he felt exhausted and out of his depth. Even if he was able to put the booth in the rest of its parts back together, the engine that was used to power the machine, or at least the pieces of it that he could make out, was something that he never encountered before. And that was not just because it looked like most of the parts had been taken from the garbage and modified.

If he was going actually fix it, he was going to need more resources and knowledge than he currently had. He was also going to need to be able to work openly without sneaking around.

So, so tired already.

After making another quick stop, Sans took a shortcut back to the site of his sentry outpost and wandered from there. He paused with each step, looking for any raggedy little kids carrying a frying pan, and kept his hands firmly in his pockets. As the bitter cold tried its hardest to bite into him, failing because he had no flesh to bite into, Sans wondered why it was that the human wasn't shivering all the time, staying out here as long as they apparently did. They didn't look bothered when he met them.

He only wondered for a little while. After walking for some ways, he heard the kid's voice again. They were talking to somebody.

A little slower, and a little quieter, he approached. He could just see their tiny form through the trees, hunched over in the snow with the frying pan set beside them. They were talking to somebody low to the ground, but from his vantage point he couldn't see them- their body was blocking the way. A realization hit him; this whole setup felt familiar. Could it be…?

"heya," he called out; as expected Frisk jerked around to see him and, in the process, fell on their butt, giving him a good view of their little friend in the snow.

It was a face that he really wasn't hoping to encounter.

Even if it had a harmless appearance, a little yellow flower with a little face and little waving leaves, that was more or less the point. Sans had only seen this creature a few times, and the last time he met him up close that harmless little thing, as he understood it, had tried to kill everyone. Well, he might have also destroyed the barrier- the details were fuzzy- but one thing still clear in Sans' memory was the feeling of those gigantic vines crushing him and tapping into his soul, all while he tried to kill Frisk.

So the skeleton understandably stiffened to see this flower again.

Talking to this world's Frisk.

"Oh look, you came back," from beside Flowey, the child spoke up again with a sneer on their face. As the flower, shaking faintly, began to wilt under Sans' gaze, he glanced at the child instead. She sneered, "...What's your problem?"

"didn't know you'd taken up gardening," Sans replied, voice low.

At first the child had crinkled up her nose at him like he was crazy, but another second later they understood. Looking over at the cowering flower, Frisk sighed, "Uggghhh, Fake Sans, this is Flowey, my friend."

"H-howdy!" As he stepped closer Flowey bent low, like he was bowing, but his trembling face still stared at him. "F-flowey the... flower..." His voice got fainter until it trailed off, and Sans grinned at him.

"sup. sans the skeleton."

The name carried some importance to him, apparently, because it made him shiver. He stammered out, "B-b-but you're not the-" the flower looked up at him hopefully, small fangs in his wavering smile, as he spoke, "The same as the other one, right? You're a different Sans."

"Yeah he's the retarded Sans I told you about earlier," Frisk cut in before Sans could reply.

He took the insult and he let it go, pulling four packages from his pockets. "i see that you're still in a bad mood, kiddo. but i picked something up that might help." Two of the packages he tossed their way, and without missing a beat they caught it. The other two he kept for himself; wrapped up cinnamon bunnies. As a child started to unwrap theirs, he spoke up, "careful, they're hot." That rabbit storekeeper hadn't even seen him, too busy occupying herself with a gentleman in the back room- this was good for him, because he didn't have any money left.

"..." Without a word, Frisk tore into the cinnamon bunnies with their teeth and discarded the wrapping paper in the snow. Frosting and cinnamon glaze smeared around their mouth as they ate, taking huge bites, and they finished in only a few seconds. The brow of his skull raising a little bit, Sans took a look at what was supposed to be his portion and also tossed it the child's way. "looks like you could use some more."

The kid finished those off quickly, too, although less so as their stomach finally stopped making noise. Without so much as a thank you, Frisk rubbed their face on their sleeve and licked their hands; what little of the glaze and frosting remained on their sleeve they also tried to get by chewing on the fabric. Sans resisted the urge to laugh, walking over, "hey c'mon kid, you're gonna get sick doing that-"

"You're not the boss of me," Frisk snapped, backing away with a glare.

So he shrugged, staying where he was. "nope." He scratched his head, saying, "i actually just wanted to talk to you. thought that maybe you could help me out here."

"Why should I do that?" Asked the child, sitting down with their back against a tree, not facing him.

"dunno. i guess because you look bored. and, uh, i get the distinct feeling you prefer the other version of me to me," he wondered if he should add some kind of bribery into the mix, but judging from what he could see of the expression on Frisk's face... He had better not risk patronizing them. The kid was too prone to violence to take lightly, that had been clear from their first meeting. "you don't have to do much. and hey, you might not actually know anything about what i'm asking, so you might not be any help anyway." At this, now they turned and glared at him. "can't hurt to try, though, right?"

"I-I-I don't think it would hurt," said the other version of Flowey; since it had been painfully pounded into him from the get-go that everything here was so opposite, Sans only steeled his smile and tried to forget that that same trembling voice had also been laughing maniacally as he stole SOULs in his world. Right now, it seemed like this Frisk was listening to that voice. They glanced over once or twice, scowl softening.

"What do I get if I help you?" The human asked.

Perhaps the bribery angle would be a good way to go after all. "i could try for more cinnamon bunnies."

"Don't bother, I hate cinnamon."

"oh," he blinked. "what do you like, then?"

"I want Iscream."

The word tripped him up; Sans paused for a long second, the first image in his head being of an overly cheery blue bunny monster with a cart and a dream, peddling frozen foods in a town of total winter. "uhh... Nice Cream?"

"What?" Frisk sneered, crossing their arms. "I said Iscream, you shit. Like ice cream. It's a pun."

It finally registered. At that, he couldn't help but grin, despite the cursing attached to it. "heheheh. i get it. that's a terrible pun."

"Are you going to get it for me or not?"

He stepped forward until he was standing over them, the smile a little lesser now. "i don't have any money, so in order to get this for you i'm going to have to steal it. you get that, right?"

Frisk didn't reply, just staring at him.

"i've already stolen once today and i didn't like it," he said, gesturing to the wrappings they littered the ground with. "so you promise that if i get it for you, you're going to cooperate with me?" He could tell from their face that they were already getting bored of that question, but he kept his gaze level until, even without true facial muscles, he could get the point across.

As they were about to speak, he could tell from the way their eyes rolled into their head that he was going to get frustrated, but before any words could come out they were both interrupted by Flowey's weak voice again, "We promise!"

Frisk leaned to glare over at him before looking back up at Sans and nodding their head.

He exhaled slowly, "good. i'll be right back."

And he actually was.

The Iscream man was even worse at guarding his merchandise than the shopkeeper; it probably had something to do with how miserable he looked as he sat as far away from his cart as possible, staring at the snow. Feeling a twinge, Sans grabbed a handful red ice creams on lollipop sticks, all of them shaped like round screaming faces. When he appeared before the human again, he at least had the consolation of seeing their expression change, face lighting up at the sight of his plundered goods

As they munched, Sans cleared his not-throat. "well, looks like I carried out my end."

Frisk was salivating too much from the taste of the Iscream, so when they looked up from it to talk the child ended up having to wipe the drool from their mouth. It was already getting colored red with the food dye anyway. "Oh, yeah." Another bite. "Fine, ask your stupid questions."

He asked them if they knew anything about the machine that this version of him had created. They replied that it was the first time they had even heard of it- or rather, they communicated as much by shaking their head. He asked, then, if that version of him had never mentioned anything about this- anything about leaving, or bringing somebody else in from another world. Frisk screwed up their face and shook their head again. It matched their previous reaction to hearing about this news, anyway. He asked them if they knew anything about there being many worlds in the first place, and the child shook their head hard- this time, accompanied by talking.

"I didn't have any reason at all to think that today was going to be any different from the day before that, or the day before that, or even tomorrow," they had snapped as they crunched an Iscream. Those angry brown eyes almost disappeared when their uncut hair flopped over their face.

Sans scratched and thought, looking the child over. Amidst everything else, there was at least sincerity there. "okay... i guess that rules out any the possibility that he told you about this, huh buddy?" His expression softened. "the only other thing i can ask, then, is if you know if there was anyone else he might talk to?"

Frisk was down to the stick of their last Iscream, and they sucked on the dribbling juice thoughtfully. Their face entered a stony expression as their eyes half closed and their mouth became a straight line. His own Frisk had worn an expression just like that before; seeing it summoned just a little bit of homesickness. For this version, it dipped into something more sullen. They murmured, "The only person that I know he talks to is... Toriel."

Toriel. Of course.

He'd been avoiding it, as was typical for him. His smile pained, Sans asked, "oh, right. what's... what's the toriel of this world like?"

Frisk broke the stick in half using their teeth for leverage. "She's a bitch," was all they said, and on their face was something dark and moody- it had been getting steadily worse all this time.

"noted. do you think that she would still talk to me?"

"Don't talk to her." Frisk said, plopping down on the cold grass. "Sans talked to her all the time, that doesn't mean you have to."

"uh, actually, that's pretty much exactly what it means."

"Whatever." Frisk dropped the pieces of the stick and dug out a very old looking phone, opening it up as though to check something before closing again. "Am I done?"

Sans took a cursory look around and realized that the flower wasn't listening in anymore. Pathetic little thing must've gotten bored while they were talking. Frisk also looked very bored, and he sighed. He wasn't going to get anything out of this kid for now. "... yeah, you're off the hook. see ya, kid."

"..." Frisk didn't look at him again. Sans stepped away, walking back onto the path with a sigh, as he rubbed the bony bridge of his nose-hole. Dealing with this brat was a pain.

Oh, well. That was done; now for something that threatened to be even more painful- although the other options were even worse, because they required more effort on his part. At least Sans knew that the door to the Ruins was just a little walk away; after a couple minutes, he could even see it in the far distance, almost obscured by the snow rolling over and over in the wind. Instead of the familiar purple, the door was black as if covered in soot, with the insignia white. The insignia, as well, looked different in this world, although he couldn't quite describe what it was about it that threw him off.

In any case, he was interrupted again by the sound of somebody clearing their throat at his feet. "?"

"H-howdy!" It was the parallel version of Flowey again.

"hey." Sans took a look back, but Frisk wasn't following him. "whaddya want, bucko?"

"O-oh," the flower dipped shyly away; he just couldn't be real. "I heard that you were going to visit Toriel, and, well... I heard what the human said earlier, and, I just... don't know what kind of person you are yet. But you seem, at least, nicer than the other Sans." There was another fanged, hopeful smile.

"i could be," Sans said, smiling wryly at him. "just depends on the kind of person you are."

Flowey didn't seem to know how to respond to that. He shook, petals trembling, and continued, "Well, I just wanted to let you know, the hu- A- Frisk, is wrong. Toriel's not a bitch. They just said that because... they don't understand."

"... yeah?" Sans' brow raised.

"And you... you're an adult, and you seem nicer, s-so... Maybe you will understand. So, uh, please be nice to Toriel."

He couldn't say that he saw this coming. He stared at the little creature in shock, to a point where Flowey started to nervously dip away under his gaze. "... hey, why do you care anyway?"

"We.. we were... friends. I lived in the Ruins for a long time before I met Frisk," was all that the flower would say.

"huh." Sans looked from Flowey back up to the door. "gotta say, you're pretty different from the flowey in my world, sprout."

"Eh?" He didn't seem sure if he should laugh or apologize.

Not caring to wait for either, Sans started walking again towards the door. "no promises, but i'll try."

And as he went, Flowey followed silently.


Author's Note: Again thanks for the reviews, guys 0o0 This time I have some questions! One or two of them I'm going to be going over in the fic itself, so I won't answer them here, but for the others (in order):

1. UF!Sans' phone is indeed inter-universal. Absolutely nothing will keep you from calling somebody on a magic phone. There is no escape.

2. UF!Flowey will come. He's just scared of UF!Sans. :P

3. I'll be continuing to follow UT!Frisk, although sadly they are not quite as perceptive/paranoid as UF!Frisk, but I'm actually not entirely sure if I'll be involving UT!Flowey yet. At this point he's still under Mt. Ebott, so we will see if he comes out or someone visits him.

I-I love answering questions that's all ;w;

Next Chapter: A Few Days is Nothing Up Here