Consider this the bridge chapter into the next arc. Also I've been a thinking about Dream Drop Distance a lot lately and I'm not sure why. I think it might have gone up in my rankings of favourite Kingdom Hearts game, not through gameplay (BBS still trumps it) and certainly not story but in writing and characters (which is very easily trumps BBS in that regard). I might just end up rating it over BBS someday. Anyway, enough of my ramblings and back to the story.
Chapter 49
Stay Close to Me
The tension on the Gummi Ship during the majority of their journey back to Radiant Garden was riddled with such palpable tensions that it seemed almost hostile in nature. As Sora had said previously, having a maniac on the Highwind certainly didn't help matters. Once a day, Sora and Luna would alternate going down into the engine room in order to deliver Kefka his food. As usual, Kefka tried his best to goad them into reacting and the best they could do was ignore him. At one point however, Sora had almost cracked when Kefka had brought up a certain topic.
"How did it feel?"
"What?"
Kefka tilted his head to the side and smiled. "How did it feel to take the lives of children? Must have been exhilarating. I wish I'd been there to see it." Sora clenched his fists tightly but did nothing, which in hindsight had probably been worse. He should have left, but because he didn't, Kefka continued. "You know, there's something intriguing about children. They're so pure. Untainted by the world. So when I thought to myself, oh let's just turn them into Chimera, I didn't do it for no reason like I do with most other things. This one was special. It had a purpose. When a child is left with no choice but to confront the evils of the world, he is no longer a child. So in a way, they were already adults when you killed them, if that helps to soothe your conscience."
At that point, Sora snapped and walked over to Kefka, knocking the tray of food out of the way in the process and slamming Kefka into the nearby machinery. He couldn't deny how much he hated what was in front of him.
"Oh, maybe you took the foreplay advice to heart then. Is there something wrong? You seem sullen. Did your puppy die or something?" Kefka asked.
"Is there nothing you care about? Is there nothing that you deem precious in this world? Is there no limit to how low you'll stoop just to hurt me?" Sora asked through gritted teeth.
"You you you, it's all about you, isn't it? Oh boo hoo, why don't you go and grow a pair? You take life far too seriously. Have a little fun-"
"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME AND PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" Sora spat out venomously. "First Abraxas, then Moira's Crescent and now KRONOS. To hell with you all! What kind of people experiment on children and act like you do at the end of the day? What gives you the right to play with those children's lives? You're all psychopaths."
Kefka laughed and an increasingly frustrated Sora threw him on the ground before summoning his Keyblade but nevertheless Kefka continued to act as if it were all a joke. Did Kefka really feel no fear at the moment? Was he actually enjoying this?
"You're right, I'm a psychopath. I indulge in seeing the masses trampled on by the elephants in the room. I enjoy a world being set aflame and being slowly burnt to ashes and I could watch the same scene unfold again and again and I'll never be satisfied, but at least I admit it. You know the thrills of jumping from world to world, fighting the darkness and helping others in need. It's the only road you know, the only thing you know. All you know is how to fight and if the worlds are set ablaze hundreds of times over? Well, at least you have a job. At least you have a reason to exist. Without that fighting, you're nothing. I'm simply the oxygen fanning your flames, Keyblade Master, and oxygen is not something that can be so easily caught."
Sora gave Kefka a long hard stare before looking over to the broken tray with food all over the floor that he had kicked out of the way earlier. When he next looked back at Kefka, his words were weighty and filled with fatigue. "You can starve for all I care. I'm done with this."
Whether Sora had actually meant what he had said back then, he hadn't actually been able to confirm his true feelings until the moment he wrapped himself under his bedsheets. He knew there wasn't any way he could not feed Kefka. Firstly, it just wasn't in him to let someone starve like that, even if it was the worst person in the universe. Secondly, he would be allowing Luna to potentially send him the food all by herself and he didn't have the heart to tell her not to bother feeding him. The final reason was that he was likely to have crucial information on him to the whereabouts of other members and so they needed him alive, at least for the time being.
Sora himself was also partly responsible for the quiet atmosphere among the Gummi Ship. He avoided the cockpit most of the time and usually stayed in his room, his hood up and staring at the pale blue wall next to him. One thing he had particularly noted was that he looked a lot paler than usual. He wasn't usually to get much sleep and dark circles were starting to form under his eyes. If it wasn't the children he was thinking of then it was Yeul or some strange form of Abraxas who had come to haunt him in his dreams.
Now on the third day of his self-seclusion from the rest of the group, Sora had buried his face into his pillow in order to hide the tears that were running down his face. He had pretty much given up trying to stop them and was now just waiting for it to be over. Even hearing the knocking on his door and its inevitable opening, he did chose not to lift his head from his pillow.
"Sora?" Luna called out. He heard her footsteps getting closer until they stopped just within arm's reach of him. Sora could feel a new indent on the bed where Luna had sat down before reaching out to touch his shoulder. She called out his name again, a little more urgently this time.
Sora turned his body to the side and looked up at her this time, revealing his red puffy eyes and pale face.
"I can't do this anymore, Luna. I can't. I've tried so hard to help others and I feel like I'm being punished for it. I keep dreaming of them, their faces, the moment I held my Keyblade up to them… the piercing light coming out of its tip… I want to forget. I want to move on. I know there was no other choice but… I feel as if I'll have erased their memories if I just move on and act like it never happened. I couldn't do that. Their pain is now my pain, and if I have to live with it for the rest of my life then so be it."
Luna closed her eyes for a brief moment before opening them again and getting up. She walked over to Sora's dressing room table and was about to retrieve a box of tissues before stopping. A frame on the table caught her attention with a photo of Sora being held in tight grasp by Riku while a grinning Kairi was positioned in between them. Her right hand hanging over Riku's shoulders and her left was resting on Sora's hair. In the background were balloons and a colorful banner which said 'HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY'. Luna was quickly reminded that it was her own sixteenth birthday soon but the thought went out of her mind when her eyes settled on Sora. His blue eyes were clear and innocent and pure, his grin a charming and whimsical one. It sent Luna's heart aflutter, and she had to release a grin for a few seconds before returning to Sora with the tissues.
"That photo, whose birthday was it? Yours?" Luna asked. She worked the tissue gently and carefully underneath his eyes.
Sora shook his head lightly, enough to allow Luna to continue her work uninterrupted. "Kairi's. That was back on the islands, before I met you. The world seemed much saner then, or my world at least."
"Yeah, they did, but we have to make the best of what we've got now, right? You're not the only one living with guilt. I've let you down," Luna said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Even you have your limits, you know? Even sponges leak when they've absorbed all they can. That's why sometimes you need more than one. I should have been there with you, back then. I know you wanted to protect me but even so, I felt like I was running from everything. I was a coward. That's why I've decided, I won't run anymore. I won't let you protect me from sadness, otherwise I'll never learn to overcome it by myself. I will stand by you and I'll see things with my own eyes for what they really are. After we took on Desiree you said you always wanted to be happy, right? Then I'll do whatever I need to do, be whatever I need to be, in order to make your wish come true. That's my promise to you."
"Luna…" Sora whispered. He was about to say something else when Stephanie burst into the room with a grin on her face.
"Luna, Sora, guess what? Guess what?"
"Um, okay… what?" Luna asked.
"My tooth disappeared and there was munny under my pillow! The tooth fairy really came, just like you guys said!" Stephanie answered, showing them a green note.
Sora's eyebrows lifted up and he looked at Luna. "Did you…?"
"No. It wasn't you?" Luna asked. When Sora shook his head, Stephanie grinned and left the room calling out Donald, Goofy and Kupopo's name and leaving the two utterly confused teens alone once more.
Astra began drumming her fingers against the mahogany table in boredom as she waited for the meeting to begin. Having already been delayed once due to Rhea wanting more time to let everyone weigh up the pros and cons of the vote. In that period of delay, Astra couldn't really say that her mind had changed all too much. The supposed forthcoming destruction of worlds hadn't even really been one of the reasons for her decision. It was clear to her that being on Luna's good side was the only way to convince her to join Moira's Crescent, something that wouldn't happen if they voted to go after Sora. That was all there was to it.
Instead of thinking, she spent most of the delay period advocating as suggested by Rhea. She primarily focused on Desiree, the one who had the most experience with Sora and was probably also more likely to listen to Astra. She explained her worries and concerns about Luna and how she needed more time to convince her. Whether that message got through or not in the end to Desiree however, Astra would have to see.
The room soon filled up and all nine members were seated around the table, though with the inclusion of the parrot, Jack, perched on Jill's shoulders it was technically ten. With that, Kohle had begun speaking.
"Last weekend, our deputy leader was able to convince me that I had been rather hasty in my calling of a vote to decide where we go from here. I myself had been on the border of what to vote and I'm sure most of you were too. I thank Rhea for recognizing this and helping to reschedule," Kohle said. It was probably conscious, but Rhea probably could feel everyone's smile of appreciation on her and so avoided their gaze, a small smile on her lips.
"Aw, Rey-rey's embarrassed. How cute!" Salome cheered happily.
"Since I'm sure she wants us to continue, I will," said Kohle. "Before voting, if there is anyone who would like to put forward their argument in a last ditch attempt to convince the opposing side. You'll only have one minute each as always."
"I'll start then," Alfonso said before standing up. "We have a sworn duty to protect the people at any cost. Where danger arises, we take care of it. How does that differ in this scenario? That our enemy is no Heartless or great evil but a teenage boy who has saved the world multiple times and now poses a very serious risk to the worlds. In a sense, we may very well be committing an unspeakable act by dealing with him, but that would be a far cry from the guilt we would feel if we did nothing and allowed the world to be torn asunder. I would never forgive myself for that. I am sure we are all aware of the trolley problem. Ultimately, this is a vote based on your own morals but the stakes are much higher than those claimed in that dilemma. We're looking at an unprecedented mass of people compared to one boy. The question is can you look the other way knowing that many may suffer because of your inaction. This is also no Schrodinger's cat where the event will and will not have happened until our observations define it under one path. We're not talking about invisible particles, we're talking about the people we see on a day to day basis and I would rather not leave it up to luck to determine their fate."
"That was exactly one minute, but I suppose that's to be expected of you. Thank you, Alfonso. Any opposing comments?" Kohle asked.
Salome was the one to stand, or more like jump, up from her seat. "Well, what Fonnie is saying here is pretty accurate if you're completely ignorant of the wider narrative. Say we do go after Sora, we even manage to neutralize him and let's just say that judging from our sweet Parisienne's little performance, it's not gonna be that easy." Here she received an annoyed grunt from Desiree but smiled and continued, "Even if you do all that, guess what happens? Sora has friends and those friends won't be happy with what we've done. They'll come after us and it'll spark something like a civil war among Keyblade wielders. Us versus them. Now I want you guys to think really carefully about this. Do we want to risk making this conflict bigger than one person? Because that's what will happen if we pursue Sora. We're already going after KRONOS. We don't need to fight a battle on two fronts. That's what I think anyway."
"I remember you telling me your father was a military general. You must be pretty knowledgeable about this sort of stuff," Astra said, rather impressed. Salome and Astra had both once been to her world on a mission. It had been one of Astra's first in which they had been made to clear a blockade to allow an alternative route through spices, herbs and other trades could come through as the original path had been swarming with Heartless. There she had learned that Salome's father was a general in the Chinese imperial army. Other than that little fact, she had left it at that, never to mention her father or any part of her family again.
"It has nothing to do with that. It is just logical that fighting two enemies at once by yourself usually isn't a good idea. Though things such as environment certainly do turn the tide for the minority but we're not in a war," Desiree replied.
Salome nodded and continued, "And I also have a second reason. Regarding Fonnie's trolley problem thing, I have a question for you. You say you could sacrifice someone to save all of them, but that's only because it's impersonal to you. What if it was someone you knew though? Could you still go up to them and tell them they have to be sacrificed? It's hypocritical that we would do such things when we wouldn't dare envision what we would do if one of our loved ones were put in a similar situation. So I just want you guys to really consider your own values before making your choice."
"Thank you, Salome. Are there anymore arguments that anyone would like to make or should we move onto voting?"
After waiting a few seconds, Kohle was satisfied enough at the silence of the room to start the vote. The vote was done by ballot, where they were given slips of paper to anonymously write 'Yes' in favor of going after Sora and 'No' against taking action. Astra quickly wrote down the latter option before folding her paper twice and placing it in the box. She wasn't even sure what the point of anonymity really was. There were only nine members, ten with the parrot included, and it wouldn't have been hard to find out who voted what. All of the members were incredibly honest anyway and didn't seem to mind spilling the beans as soon as they left the meeting room.
"Well with the votes counted, I can officially announce the result," Kohle said after having taken a minute to count each vote. "The total number of those in favor is five, which means that the number of those against is also five."
"A stalemate? What happens now?" Astra asked. Having a draw wasn't exactly the best outcome but it also wasn't exactly bad either. She had set out to stall for time and she had managed to get it.
"It's left up to the leader in these cases to make the decision," Rhea said before looking at Kohle.
"Well my reason for the following decision is simply this. The question brought before us was whether to label Sora as a genuine threat and if such, the course of action would be obvious. If we had been in a different mindset, then the question would otherwise be posed as whether we should cease considering Sora as our enemy. They're two different questions because one already assumes that going after Sora was already a policy and the other assumes that we're still considering it. As it was the former question in contemplation here, it would naturally be for a majority of those in favor to convince our policy to change. As no such majority was gained, I cannot see any reason to treat Sora as a hostile target. That said, because there was no majority on the other side either, this may change if any new evidence is presented to me which is sufficient enough to change my mind."
"And what exactly would entail as… sufficient?" Alfonso asked a little annoyed. His vote was obvious.
"In my terms? Something that leaves no room for doubt. That gives me no choice but to make me see the facts differently as I see them now," Kohle answered.
"That's some high level of proof then," Lysander said with a grin. "Have fun finding that, Alfonso."
"Let's try not to antagonize each other, please," Kohle intervened before Alfonso could make a retort. "I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to discuss this, but not in this room. I've also prepared a list of missions in the lounge for you so do have a look when you have the time. With that said, you're all dismissed."
Rhea immediately leaned in and whispered into Astra's ear that she was going to talk to Kohle for a bit and then meet up with her for training. Astra sat in her seat for a few seconds, watching as Rhea walked past the other members. Her eyes were taken away from Rhea when Desiree passed her.
"Hey, Desiree-"
"I voted yes if that is what you're about to ask," Desiree said without even looking at her.
"Huh? You told me that you'd-"
"I did tell you I'd vote no but I also owe no obligation to anyone else but my own feelings once inside the meeting room. I simply reconsidered within the last few seconds is all," Desiree answered. She placed a comforting hand on Astra's shoulder who shrugged it off immediately upon contact.
"Or you weren't planning on voting no from the beginning."
"Believe what you want. You should be satisfied either way since you got the result that you wanted, non? I don't particularly mind either way. We need to go after KRONOS first anyway. Erecting a cordon sanitaire around the worlds they deem the most influential is the first step to finding them. That means we're going to have to keep our eyes on places like that factory you and Rhea went to for the foreseeable future."
"A cordon sani-what now?"
Desiree shook her head disappointedly. "A barrier to prevent the spread of diseases, in this case, an ideological one. You really need to brush up on your French."
"No thanks, I think Moira's Crescent has enough of those, by which I mean one is plenty," Astra said. "But if what you say is true, that you changed your mind at the last second, then what was reason, if you don't mind me asking?"
Desiree motioned for Astra to follow her. They made their way outside of the meeting room and down the hallway. Eventually, Desiree turned to meet her once they reached a secluded spot and began speaking.
"I was considering what Salome said and applied it to my own scenario. If the real Desiree had to be sacrificed in order to save countless others, would I still do it? The answer is yes, albeit quite reluctantly. I've dreamed so many times of changing the past that it seems absurd to suddenly consider letting her go. But I've sworn my duty to protecting the worlds now. We all have. It doesn't make sense for us to consider that now seeing as how we had no choice but to eliminate one of our own members. I found it strange that Salome could say that without seeing the hypocrisy in her own words given how she and Alfonso were the ones selected to go after Kyle. You can't have your cake and eat it too."
"Well she once told me that Abraxas and Kyle were different people. Maybe that's how she got through carrying out her mission. Convincing herself that the person she knew was long gone," Astra proposed. Rhea had also said something similar now that she thought about it.
"If it helps her to sleep at night, then sure. We all have our coping mechanisms," Desiree said before changing her tune. "I'm sorry if I am coming across as being cold, but I'm sure that Desiree would understand. In fact, she would probably be the kind of person to force me into doing it if it meant it benefited others. She was very selfless. Do you think you would be able to do that if Luna was in that position?"
"Do you even have to ask? No. I've never been one to follow rules anyway so I'm sorry if you think I'm going to give my soul away to your cause," Astra said, somewhat annoyed that Desiree had tried to throw the question back by using her friend.
"Then if you truly do believe that, keep your convictions close to you. In this line of work, it's not rare to question who you truly are or what you believe." With that, Desiree gave a warm smile and left Astra to ponder what they had discussed.
Three Days Later
It took careful planning by Donald in order to dock the Highwind into Radiant Garden's new port. This took the shape of a tube underneath the world that extended through a tunnel into the center of the world itself. After escaping the large tunnel and emerging out into the hangar, the Gummi Ship slowed down until it came to a complete halt. Two mechanical hands from either side moved in and attached themselves to the Highwind, moving it to the designated landing pad.
"Hooray! You're back!" Chip and Dale yelled excitedly as the doors opened. Luna stuck her head out and quickly searched for Colette, who had said she would be meeting up with them in their audio call a few hours before. Luna grinned at her and pulled her head back in the Highwind before looking at Stephanie.
"How mad do you think my mom will be?" Stephanie asked.
"Judging from her face, I'm pretty sure she was waiting to play whack-a-mole so… yeah, not too happy but don't worry, I'll make sure you receive as light a punishment as possible," Luna replied. She brought Stephanie close to her and looked Sora's way before stepping out.
As expected, Colette did not take lightly to Stephanie running off on her own in the first place but her overall worry took over and she was soon hugging her tightly, tears forming in her eyes. It was definitely a testament to how much Colette needed Stephanie, Luna thought with a small smile. In that one moment, it really did feel as if Colette had completely forgotten about the incident and that she wouldn't ground Stephanie for at least a while. Of course she would probably move on to do this anyway but there was always hope that Colette would become entranced by Stephanie's stories of visits to other worlds.
Donald and Goofy soon left the Gummi Ship followed by Sora dragging a Kefka who was not completely there. He seemed to be mumbling something to himself and giggling every now and then.
"Who the heck is that?" Dale asked.
"The embodiment of trouble. Do you know where Yen Sid is?" Sora asked.
"Hmm, he should be in Ansem's study as usual."
"Thanks, Dale. Colette, you don't mind if we come over later, right? I don't really feel like we can casually talk with him around," Sora said, nudging his head at Kefka.
"Of course. Sora, is there something wrong? You look really tired," Colette noticed. He had been hoping that she wouldn't have.
"I'll… I'll explain everything when we get back," Sora said. He wondered how Colette would judge him when he told her what had happened. Not just her, but Riku and Kairi as well. As much as it was something he wanted to keep inside, Luna had been right. He had to confront it and he couldn't do it alone.
The group's journey to Ansem's study certainly wasn't a comfortable one. Kefka was enough to make sure of that. Luna humored herself that it was a miracle that they had even made it there in one state of mind.
"You're all back! Thank goodness you're all right!" Kairi announced as soon as they stepped into the room. She moved in to hug Sora but stopped when she noticed the same thing that Colette had.
"I'm glad you're alright too, Kairi," Sora said before she could press the issue. "Did you find any leads on that Atlantis thing?"
"Surprisingly." Riku was the one who answered. He was near the diagram on the wall of the door to darkness with a group of papers clutched in his hand that were to hanging to his side. His eyes were trained on Kefka the entire time like a hawk eyeing its prey. "We'll have to talk more about it later. Hope everything was great on your end too."
"It was… and then it wasn't," Luna answered. When Riku raised a brow, Luna repeated his words. "We'll talk more about it later."
Sora turned to the last person in the room who had not yet spoken. Yen Sid had been busy writing away at his desk. Sora watched as his hands slowly and carefully wrote the last word like he was crafting art itself. The handwriting was so neat and slanted in contrast to Sora's messy own that it was almost painful to look at.
Yen Sid soon set his pen aside and looked up at Kefka. "I see you've carried out your mission. No doubt Neuge will be pleased with this development, well, as soon as she's sober anyway. Riku, have our guest taken to the dungeon so we can interrogate him along with our other prisoner."
"Other prisoner? Did you find someone else?" Donald asked.
"Not exactly. It's more like they find us, or rather, me," Kairi said uneasily. She went onto explain how she and her assassin, Freya, had fought and that if it hadn't been for Namine, Dilan and Aeleus' help, she would have suffered a much worse fate. A sudden giggles brought Sora, Luna, Donald and Goofy out of processing this recent event.
"That is strange. I was wondering why you were still alive, Kairi," Kefka said in between these giggles. "I guess she didn't do her job. Never leave it to the rats. Why did I leave it to rats?"
No sooner had he confirmed what Sora had already been thinking than Sora had driven his fist as hard as he could into Kefka's nose. Sora thought he had heard the sound of a sickening crack, but his anger had far abated most of his senses. He could really only be fortunate that his friends had been there to restrain him, for in that single moment, Sora really did feel as if he had the power to destroy the world.
