It was a dark night.
Big was asleep.
Froggy looked around, then hopped into the living room. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor and positioned himself on the keyboard. He started typing.
Good night to you, my Mobian friends. As always, it's your bored, thrill-seeking host, Froggy. Today, I thought that I'd do something a little different.
I'm going to be reviewing fanfiction. Specifically, fanfiction about our beloved hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. An amphibian friend of mind recommended to me a particular piece of work titled Sonic the Cat, by a certain Yoshi 2.1. He told me that he couldn't tell me much about what it was about without spoiling it, but he promised me that it's a one-of-a-kind read that I'll never forget. Tonight, I think that I'll read it while offering up commentary.
The story has 120+ reviews. How bad could it be?
(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Sonic and all other characters belong to Sonic Team and Sega. No copyright is used in this story.
This is my second story. Since my Mario story was successful, I thought I would make a Sonic story. Just to point out, this one will be twice as funny as my first story.
Sonic the Cat
Summary: An accident in Tails' lab causes a weird side effect, which turns Sonic into a cat. To make things worse for Sonic, he has attracted the unwanted attention of a certain female cat he knows. Join Sonic on a hilarious run through Station Square as he tries in vain to avoid Blaze's affections, all the while encountering his other friends along the way. The only problem is. Will they recognize him?
Chapter 1
Tails, could you tell me again why I have to be here?'', Sonic asked.
Tails just sighed. That was the tenth time Sonic had asked that question.
Odd. Sonic can be impatient, but not that impatient. Maybe this is just a case of earlystory OOCness…
Because Sonic I wanted you to see a new invention that I built, it's far more better than everything else I've ever invented'', Tails explained.
Yeah, everything that blows up in my face all the time'', Sonic commented
What?! This is pure slander. Name one time Tails made something that blew up when it wasn't supposed to.
But Tails ignored that comment and continued to lead Sonic downstairs to his lab. The sooner they got downstairs, Tails opened the door and turned on the light. There, in the middle of the table was some small gun shaped device laying there. It was colored with red and gold, and it had sparkly gems embedded in it. But Sonic just looked at it with confusion plastered on his face.
Two questions little bro, what the heck is that thing? , and is it safe?'', asked Sonic
What… what is with this story's awful punctation? It's getting on my nerves…
It's a transformation enhancer gun, just one blast it from will allow you to transform into your super form at will without using the Chaos Emeralds. You can also change back to normal form whenever you like, and yes it's safe'', Tails explained.
Tails then turned around pointing the gun at Sonic.
Whoa, why are you pointing it at me?'', Sonic asked in alarm.
I'm gonna test it on you to see if works'', Tails answered
Wait a minute Tails, you never said anything like that on the phone'', Sonic countered
Oh, c'mon Sonic, it won't hurt one bit'', Tails assured him
That's what they all say. Get out of there now, Sonic. I don't like where this is going one bit.
Are you sure?'', Sonic asked
Yes'', Tails replied
Well okay, but just once alright'', Sonic agreed.
Got it'', Tails said.
Sonic then stood completely still and waited for Tails to use the device. Then Tails pulled the trigger, a golden laser was fired directly at Sonic. The blast enveloped Sonic in a bright light, which lasted for 10 seconds until it disappeared. But something wasn't right about Sonic. Tails looked at Sonic with shock.
Sonic, are you ok?'', Tails asked nervously
Of course I am, what's wrong,'' Sonic wondered.
Tails was too hesitant to answer. He was riled with fear and regret about what just happened a minute ago. If Sonic was gonna find out, he would have to find out himself.
You may want to look at yourself in the mirror to figure it out,'' Tails said.
Alright, but I don't see what this has to do with any-'', Sonic started to say but was cut off at the very moment he looked at his reflection in the mirror. What he saw in the mirror didn't look anything like his normal self. For example his quills were gone, his peach colored hands and arms were covered with blue fur, his small little tail was longer and more catlike, his ears were wider and more triangular than before, and his hedgehog face was replaced with that of a cat. He was no longer a hedgehog, he was a cat.
AAAHHH, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A CAT'', Sonic screamed.
Well, that explains the title. What it doesn't explain is Sonic being a jerkass to Tails or this story having terrible punctation.
There must have been a side effect in the blast, it somehow changed your hedgehog DNA into cat DNA'', Tails explains.
That's… not how DNA works. At all. I'm a genetically mutated frog. I could tell you a thing or two.
What am I gonna do Tails, I can't go running around as a cat, It'll mess up my reputation as the world renowned Hero of Station Square'', Sonic objected.
I find this behavior vaguely racist and definitely not Sonic-like.
Calm down Sonic I'm sure the others will recognize you if you tell them who you are, and how you got like this'', Tails assured him.
I sure hope they do, because it wouldn't be the same if they didn't'', Sonic said
Looks like you're stuck this way'', Tails informed
Yeah I guess I'll just have to deal with it'', Sonic replied before turning around to leave.
Bye Sonic'', Tails said as he waved good bye.
Bye Tails'', Sonic replied sadly while waving back.
When Sonic was several feet away from Tails' house, he then thought of something.
Hey wait a minute, I wonder if I still have my super speed, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try and see'', Sonic suggested.
Standing completely still, Sonic began revving up his feet like a spinning car wheel, and within minutes he took off in quick flash.
Yeah, alright, my speed is still intact,'' Sonic said.
He dashed all the way through Station Square like a lighting bolt, passing every citizen in his path, he continued running for 8 minutes until he came to a stop.
Man what a run, I am beat, I think I'll relax for a while'', Sonic said exhaustedly.
No more than 8 minutes of running and you're already tired? Who are you and what have you done to Sonic?
Looking for somewhere to rest, he saw a bench nearby, he walked over to it and sat down. He stayed there for hours pondering about his new form.
Being a cat sure isn't all it's cracked up to be, I mean like its going to take me some time to get used to it, I just gotta learn to live with it,'' Sonic admitted.
He was so busy talking to himself he failed to notice a familiar lavender female cat sitting on the bench just recently during his ranting. It was Blaze the Cat, a girl who Sonic met two years earlier. Judging by the expression on her face, it was obvious she was drawn to Sonic romantically because of his appearance.
What. What is with this incredibly awkward phrasing, and since when does Blaze act like she knows what romance is?
Hi there cutie cat'', She greeted him seductively.
WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK.
SEDUCTIVELY? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
Sonic then stopped talking to look over at Blaze who was staring at him lovingly.
Hi Blaze'', Sonic greeted back.
Blaze giggled like a school girl for replying…
I'll have that part repeated, for emphasis.
Blaze giggled like a school girl for replying…
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
YOU'RE NOT BLAZE, THAT'S FOR SURE
I'm flattered that you know my name, you know I've never met another cat before, especially a blue cat'', Blaze said
But Blaze it's me Sonic, don't you recognize my voice?'', Sonic asked.
Blaze began thinking for about 2 minutes, then she finally realized something.
Wow, you sound just like him, I can't believe it'', Blaze blurted out excitedly.
Sonic had a look of confusion plastered on his face. He couldn't understand why Blaze didn't recognize him when he told her his name.
To be fair, Sonic isn't exactly a common name.
Either way, with that aside, how about you and I get together for a little alone time at my place, you know, some romance'', Blaze suggested flirtatiously while winking at him.
blaze
Sonic couldn't believe what she was saying to him, He was slightly puzzled over it, he couldn't understand it. Was Blaze trying to flirt with him.
wat r u doing
Uh Blaze, are you trying to hit on me or something?'', asked a confused Sonic.
blaze
Well of course, I like you sweetie'', She cooed as she scooted closer to him on the bench.
STAHP
Sonic just scooted away from her, but this reaction only made her scoot towards him again. For about 13 seconds the more Sonic continued to slide away from Blaze, the more she got closer to him. He kept this up until he was all the way to the end of the bench, which meant he was trapped.
Aw you don't have to be afraid of me sexy I won't hurt you I promise'', Blaze assured him.
I PRAY TO THE MASTER EMERALD THAT THE REAL BLAZE DOESN'T EVER READ THIS STORY
BECAUSE IF SHE DOES, SHE'LL MAKE FOR THE NEAREST LAKE AND JUMP
Look no offense Blaze but I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now'', Sonic admitted.
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
But then he noticed Blaze leaning her face towards his. Sonic knew what was about to happen, It was something Amy always tried to do to him when he was a hedgehog, he knew that Blaze was trying to kiss him. Thinking quickly, Sonic came up with an excuse.
Hey Blaze look its Justin Timberlake over there, Sonic lied as he pointed in the opposite direction, lucky for him Blaze fell for it.
Who the shit is Justin Timberlake, and why should Blaze care?
Where, where is he?'', Blaze asked as she looked around.
Using her distraction to his advantage, Sonic took off into the distance, leaving a smoke trail behind him.
What? A… smoke trail?
…No. That's not how it works.
The moment Blaze turned around she saw that Sonic that was gone as she noticed the trail of smoke he left behind.
Blaze simply took this in stride and giggled to herself.
That silly cat, does he actually think he can get away from me? Blaze asked herself.
To be fair, he used to be Sonic the Hedgehog. It's not an unreasonable assumption.
Standing up from the bench, Blaze looked in the direction of where Sonic had ran off to, she called out to him.
YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER MY DARLING, GET READY, BECAUSE BLAZE THE CAT IS COMING AFTER YOU WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION'', Blaze shouted out before she began taking off after her blue feline lover.
A/N: Whoa, Sonic has got a big problem now, I hope he can get through it soon.
Either way it took me a really, really long time to make this first chapter, I'm exhausted.
Read it and leave a review.
I am not sure that I will leave a review. What I WILL be doing is keeping my word and continuing my review of this story because I made a promise. Regardless of what keeping that promise does to my sanity. I am almost certain that my friend did not have friendly intentions when recommending this story.
Until next time, Mobius.
Froggy the Frog
A/N: I figured that reviewing this fic in the undefined character of Froggy the Frog could be interesting. Let's see how this turns out, shall we?
