The moon shone a little brighter than the previous night - a cruel irony, as Froggy's mood grew darker as he thought of the coming ordeal.

Big was once again asleep.

Once again, Froggy looked around before hopping into the living room. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor and positioned himself on the keyboard. He let out a sorrowful sigh before starting to type once more.

Oh, bother. Froggy has returned to you, my good readers, but I would not blame you for not wanting me to have done so. The past two days have been very bad, and today does not look to lighten our mental loads. Despite this, I can't help but go on.

I'm going to be reviewing fanfiction again. As you've probably guessed, we're going to be proceeding to Yoshi 2.1's Sonic the Cat, Chapter 3. As before, I will be offering commentary as I review. Buckle your seat belts.

(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)


Chapter 3

Boy, that was really awkward back there, at least I finally got away", Sonic said while running.

Along the way he came across Shadow, who was leaning against a tree, minding his own business.


Shadow is an extremely busy person who probably doesn't have the time to hang around leaning against trees. Even if he did have the time to do so, he wouldn't. He's a solemn hedgehog with an extremely unpleasant past that's made him the way he is, not your average moody delinquent.


Hey Shadow, thank god I found you", Sonic said running up to him.

Shadow turned his head to look at him,and to Sonic's relief, he actually recognized him.

Hey Sonic, whoa, how did you become a cat?", Shadow asked.


And so another person recognizes Sonic on the spot. It would seem that Blaze was too head-over-heels and horny to actually use her brain. Also, I have a hard time imagining Shadow wording his disbelief like this.


I got like this in an lab accident at Tails' place", Sonic explained.

This is a big problem", Shadow said.


Why is everybody just taking this claim in stride? Everybody's acting like it's nothing new for Tails to have screwed up in the creation of his gadgets, when as far as I know, he's never even messed up once! This is slander most false and cruel.


Of course it is, because I'm a cat now, Blaze is madly in love with me, and now she's after me, she already caught me once just a minute ago and kissed me with her tongue in my mouth, that was just really uncomfortable for me, so I had to wait for her to let me go so I could get away, and here I am right now, explaining everything to you", Sonic explained.


TMI, Sonic. TMfuckingI.


But before Shadow could respond, he was interrupted when he heard Blaze calling for Sonic.

Sonic, honey, where are you my darling feline?", She called out lovingly.


Lovingly? Is that what they call "ragingly hormonal" these days?


Oh man, Shadow you gotta cover for me quick, if she asks where I went, tell her you never saw me okay", Sonic told him.


Or even better, just point in a different direction and say "Thataway, pussy cat!" Then again, Sonic has clearly not been utilizing his mental facilities today.


You got it buddy", Shadow said giving Sonic a thumbs up.


…No. Shadow would never, EVER be caught dead calling anybody - let alone SONIC - "buddy". He wouldn't give a thumbs up if someone's life depended on it, either.


Thanks Shad", Sonic replied before running off.


And he'd only allow somebody to call him "Shad" over his own dead body.


The sooner he was gone, then Blaze showed up.

Oh, hi Shadow, listen did you happen to see a blue cat named Sonic, if so, do you know where he went?", Blaze asked.

Nope, sorry, haven't seen him", Shadow lied.


…And he'd never apologize for something that wasn't his fault. Hell, he doesn't even apologize for stuff that was his fault half the time!


Then Blaze started to get serious.

Alright, fess up black boy, where is he?", Blaze asked in a serious tone.


BLACK BOY?! What'll she call him next? "Motherfuckin' bitch n*gger"?!


Really, I don't know where he is", He lied again.


The real Shadow would've just walked away at this point. Not stand around getting questioned for something that's technically none of his business.


I mean it, tell me where he is this instant", Blaze demanded.

I told you, I haven't seen AGH", Shadow grunted in pain as Blaze twisted his right arm violently, which indicated she was losing her patience.


ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

The LAST time somebody tried grabbing Shadow's arm, he almost knocked them unconscious! And the Thorndyke kid was just asking him to help! Shadow should've blown Blaze into the next week! Not to mention the fact that Blaze would never inflict bodily harm on somebody unless they were putting the Sol Emeralds at stake!


Tell me where he is right now or I'll break your arm off and shove it down your throat", Blaze threatened him.


Well, listen here-

…No. I'm done. At least for right now, I'm done talking about what the real Shadow and Blaze would have done.


He passed by here a few minutes ago, he ran off when he heard you looking for him, he went in the East direction", Shadow admitted.

Okay then, that's all I wanted to know, see ya later Shadow", said Blaze as she let go of his arm before dashing off to find Sonic.

Aw man, Sonic is gonna slaughter me for this, big time", Shadow said to himself.


…Nope. Not saying anything.


Meanwhile...

Sonic was still speeding through Station Square, trying desperately to escape from Blaze. As he ran he kept looking over his shoulders to see if Blaze was right behind him, he was lucky, but only for a while, because there was a possible chance that she would catch up with him sooner or later. He then spotted Silver up ahead, walking in the opposite direction.

Yo Silver, it's me Sonic", He greeted as he stopped in front of the white hedgehog.


Actually, he's a silver hedgehog. That's why he's called Silver. You don't call Knuckles "Butts" when the spikes are sticking out of his knuckles, now do you?

Yes, I know that I'm being unnecessarily snippy right now. Can you blame me?


What the heck happened to you?", Silver asked in surprize.


…What was that last word again? Let's go back just a little bit.


What the heck happened to you?", Silver asked in surprize.


…Surprize.

What is Spellcheck? Clearly something Yoshi 2.1 has never heard of before, that's for sure.


Lab accident", Sonic answered.

That makes no sense at all", Silver pointed out.


The full explanation makes about as much sense. Get out with your sanity intact while you still can, Silver.


What I mean is that one of Tails' stupid new inventions malfunctioned when he tested it on me, it caused a side effect, which turned me into a cat, now thanks to him, I'm stuck like this forever, and to even things out, Blaze has fallen in love with me, she doesn't recognize me, and now I'm being chased by a lovesick cat, who won't stop trying to capture me until she succeeds, I tell you, this is more worst than being chased by Amy", Sonic explained.


…Oh, sweet Master Emerald, that last just made me think of something.

If this is Yoshi 2.1's portrayal of Blaze, just how crazy would he make Amy? The stuff that he could do with somebody who actually is interested in Sonic would blow the crazy hormonal shit that is his depiction of Blaze out of the motherfucking water.

You may insert an obligatory comment of me questioning why nobody seems confused by one of Tails's inventions suddenly deciding to not work here. I'm still thinking about all the terrible things that Yoshi 2.1 could do to all the other people I know and love.


Whoa Sonic, I don't know what to say pal, looks like you're in hot water now", Silver said.


Knowing how immature and naive Silver can be, I'm actually rather surprised that he didn't tell Sonic to do something dumb like "give Blaze a chance".


Thanks for the comfort man, now I gotta get out of here before Blaze catches me", Sonic said.


So you weren't even going to ask for some sort of help? You're on the run, yet you'll just stop to moan to other people about the troubles that have been afflicting you in hope of comfort?

You imbecile. You'd deserve it if Blaze caught you right now, I'll have you know.


But before he could take off, Blaze caught up with him and embraced him in a hug from behind.


You motherfucking imbecile.


Now I've got you this time baby", Blaze cooed.

Before Sonic even knew it, Blaze turned him around and captured his lips in another kiss, once again sticking her tongue inside his mouth, Sonic tried struggling as hard as he could to break free, but to avail, this also caused Blaze to press her lips down even harder on Sonic's, sticking her tongue more further into Sonic's mouth, which nearly made him choke. Blaze then finally pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva hanging in between mouth and Sonic's mouth before it dissolved.


Ignoring the fact that Blaze basically just raped Sonic's mouth again, why isn't Silver doing anything? You'll go as far as traveling to the past and killing somebody in order to save the world, yet you'll just stand by and do nothing as a friend of yours is forced into non-consensual sexual activity? Some hero you are, pal.


That was just awkward", Silver commented.


That's what you get for being a bystander, asshat. Next time, get shit done.


Suddenly, Blaze picked up Sonic and hoisted him over her shoulder.

Come on honey, let's go somewhere more quiet and tranquil so we can be alone for a while", Blaze said before walking in the opposite direction while carrying Sonic with her.


"And by that, I mean 'let's go somewhere where I can rape you in private'! Doesn't that sound nice?"

She might as well have said that. Damn you, Yoshi 2.1. Damn you.


Silver just stood there completely motionless, shocked at what had just happened a minute ago right in front of him. He never expected something like this to happen.

Like I said before, that was just awkward", Silver stated again.


"you fucking piece of fuck

YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT

I HOPE YOU DIE"

- Pewdiepie, 20XX


Well everyone, I finally made the third chapter.

I hope you like it.


I didn't. Fuck you.


Bye for now.


See you in Hell, degenerate.

I'm just too drained for right now, my friends. No additional commentary from me. Froggy, signing out.