Chapter 9 – No Difference
"When the promise is broken you go on living
But it steals something from down in your soul
Like when the truth is spoken and it don't make no difference
Something in your heart goes cold"
The Promise - Bruce Springsteen
I sleep surprisingly well, only startling a handful of times from bad dreams, but more importantly falling back to sleep quickly. It's a recent personal best. I'm hoping it's a start of a trend. Maybe it was the full day of activity I had for a change.
I wake before dawn and sleep is no longer forthcoming, so I decide to watch the dawn arrive tucked in my comforter from a perch on Posy's window bench. I dig out Finnick's piece of rope and let my fingers wrought and ravel on their own as I watch the day awake. Posy's window faces the front of the house, and affords a generous view of the park. Even from my vantage point behind a set of gauzy curtains my eyes follow several of the paths around the park and find the play structure Gale mentioned yesterday.
The early morning songbirds stir awake more and more of the wildlife. The sky lightens gradually, with the foothills blocking the direct sunlight. I see a lone runner in an all out sprint on along one of the footpaths. He slows down slightly as he exits the park, but he's still moving at a good clip. As if he knows I'm here he gives a quick glance at the house, but of course he does. It's Gale. He continues past the house on the other side of the road towards town.
My eyes follow Gale as he trails out of sight. I remain in my little nest a while longer until I hear some evidence that others are awake below.
Hazelle's POV
When I wake I can already tell some of the kids are up. I've had it in my mind to make something special for breakfast since Katniss is here. Maybe apple cinnamon pancakes. It's so good to see her stronger, even just a bit, both physically and emotionally, than when we visited 12. Still she seems a shadow of her former self, but I'm happy to see she's slowly coming to life. She seems to have made the conscious decision to not slip away like her mother did after Cargan's death. If nothing else, Katniss is a fighter.
I pad down to the kitchen in my bathrobe and slippers to find that Rory's up, if you can call it that, taking orders from Posy, who is very much awake. He's rubbing his eyes and rifling in the cabinets, pulling the requisite containers from Posy's order.
Rory grumbles "Mornin'," while Posy starts in on a full description of what she's having for breakfast. It's funny after four kids I am still left wondering 'where do you get all of your energy from?', especially in the morning. I suppose Nathaniel was the morning person, never me, not by choice anyway. Katniss makes her way into the kitchen as I am setting water on the stove for some tea. She greets us warmly.
"How about apple cinnamon pancakes?" I offer.
Katniss' face lights up "Sounds great, can I help?" Rory nods in agreement. Posy announces it will be her main course, after a first course of cereal.
Katniss busies herself cutting apples, while I track down the ingredients for a quick pancake batter. Vick stumbles into the kitchen sporting his gravity-defying bed head. From what Katniss has told me about Capitolites, I think that any Capitolite would envy how his baby-fine hair fans out above his head. It's so graceful that if you didn't know Vick you might think it was done on purpose.
Katniss greets him with "Good mornin'! Hey, you know with that fancy hairstyle, you look just like grouse!"
My eyes dart to Rory only to see he's already shooting me a surprised glance. Rory's chuckling now, shaking his head, and I feel the grin break out on my face. In contrast and as expected, Vick is quite put out, "Hey - who told her!"
Still laughing Rory says to Vick "No one did, you spaz!"
He ignores my plea to be more polite to his brother and goes on to explain to Katniss "Gale says the exact same thing, about Vick's bed head. It drives Vick C-R-A-Z-Y."
Katniss, being much more empathetic than either of my eldest two, finds a way out. "Oh Vick, sorry! You know we always used to hunt grouse this time of year. I must have them on the brain, since I miss it so much."
Vick turns a bit sheepish, realizing he over-reacted. He slides quietly onto the kitchen bench next to Posy. Rory's heading upstairs still snickering and shaking his head.
"Have you not been hunting?" I ask, it seems so unlike her.
"I can make it to the woods a couple times a week now. I take down squirrels and rabbits mostly. I found out it's hard hunting anything else alone, plus not too many people to feed." She replies, justifiably with some melancholy in her voice. "It's not the same now." she admits.
"Well, I think it's impressive that you are even getting back out to the woods. I hope you're being careful, we always worried more when one of you went by yourselves." I think I've said too much, as I see an internal struggle within her to keep a neutral facial expression. I can't help it. I drop my mixing and step around the counter to give her a hug. "You're so capable sweetie, I just want you to know that we're still looking out for you." She nods into the crook of my neck as she hugs me back tightly. I add "You know that means always, not just when you're hunting, right?"
"Mmm hmm" she mumbles, but she squeezes even tighter, like she didn't know it before.
We eat to our hearts content, something I'm not sure I'll ever get used to, but am glad my kids are getting the chance to. Afterwards Posy begs to go to the park. We all agree it's too beautiful of a day to spend inside. I'm proud that Rory does remember his school work. He says a few classmates are getting together this morning to work on a project. The rest of us get dressed and make our way to the park.
Vick's POV
We cross the street and as always Posy heads straight to the play structure. I follow her there, but it's really for little kids - boooooring! I'm done with it in about 5 minutes. Katniss asks what tricks I can do. I show her a few things – I nail the flip off of the monkey bars! She seems impressed. Then she shows me a couple of things to add to my repertoire (that's a big word for the list of things you can perform) and two things to work up to.
When I get tired of that she asks if we can just walk on some of the paths in the park.
"Have you taken most of these paths?"
"Yup! All of the ones on this side of the park!" I say proudly, "There are seven." I let her know.
"Which one is your favorite?"
"That's tough, do I haveta pick just one?"
"No, which ones are your top picks?"
"Well, this one we're on goes through a really cool grove of climbing trees. That one that over there runs along a creek, at the end it's dammed up, making a pond."
"Oh, you gotta show me the the climbing trees!"
"Sure thing!" I say as I lead the way down the windy path.
"How about that path?" She points to the farthest one as we are walking, "Where does that go?"
"Uh, I don't go on that path anymore"
"Why? What's down there?" She sounds curious.
"It's creepy."
"What do you mean?"
"It gives me the creeps."
"Thanks for the added clarity, smarty pants."
I just shrug. If she wants to know more, she can go down there herself. She's smart enough, she drops it.
We're at the glade now, I'm not sure what kind of trees these are, but they're good for climbing. Katniss scurries right up one. That's one thing I do remember about her in 12, if it's climbable, she can get up it. For a while Rory, that jerk, had me really believing that she really was part squirrel. I mean how was I supposed to know, I don't remember her Dad! I scale a neighboring tree doing my best to make it up as high as she is.
"So Gale said he was doing something with you and Rory later. What're you guys doing?" she asks.
I blurt out, "I think he said since you're here we're wrestling."
"He said what?"
"Oh, I guess that sounds funny. Gale said since you're here, he didn't want to do anything that takes a lot of time."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Saturdays Gale has been teaching some kids and I different skills. He taught us how to find where and what kind of animals are in the woods and like if they're dangerous. One time he showed us how to make a fire. He helped my friends climb trees, but I already knew how. He said wrestling or grappling would be better today since we can do it right in the yard."
"Neat! What'd he teach you that you didn't know already?"
"Trapping fish and fishing was new and kinda cool."
"Are these friends from your class?"
"Marshall is in my class, but the other guys aren't," I tell her.
"Oh, so how do you know them?"
"I know them from doing this stuff."
"Okaaaay, so who introduced them to you?"
"Oh! Gale did."
"Annnnd how does Gale know them?" she says exasperatedly.
'He asked mom which boys at school were like me."
"What do you mean 'like you'? Do you mean both smart and good lookin'?"
I feel my cheeks get hot, but I look her right in the eye and answer her honestly, "No, kids whose Dads are dead."
She looks a little taken aback, but just says "Oh, I see."
She's quiet for a little while, then asks "How many kids come on Saturdays?"
"Well, not all of the kids come all of the time. Some come more than others. Marshall comes most times, since he's my friend. There's maybe like 4 or 5 kids each week. Um, I'm getting hungry, how about we see if mom brought a snack?"
"Okay, I'll race you back over there!" She says as she drops out of the tree and hits the ground running.
Katniss' POV
After lunch Rory returns from his friend's house to show me around. He's almost an hour late, but as Roscoe joked, town is small enough that our errands don't take long. He's stand-offish and distant. The longer we spend together the more I realize that his movements and speech are lethargic. He takes me by the cobbler for laces and then to the market to pick up some staples for Hazelle. I stop in at the hardware store next door to check out what they have before we head back.
We are just about to the house when we see Gale pull up in front of the house riding on some kind of vehicle. Rory gives his brother a nod, but proceeds directly into the house without a word. Curious, I walk over. "What's that thing?" I ask, waving in the general direction of his three-wheeled contraption. Gale slips his slick helmet off. "An in-line vehicle, I got it second hand, from Tela actually. It's great for getting out of this two-bit town."
"I've heard of ILVs, but never seen one. Is that the motor there? Oh, I see the three wheels are in line, I get it."
"Can't put anything past you!" He says with a wink.
"Hah! You're funny... Oh hey, speaking of funny" I cock my head in Rory's direction. I give him a look so he knows 'Rory's acting funny-weird, not funny-haha,' as we used to say to each other.
"What kind of weird." He asks.
"He seems really distant and sluggish"
"Since when?"
"Just since he came back from his group project."
He inhales deeply and slowly drags a hand through his dark hair. His jaw is clenched and his nostrils gaping; I can tell he's reigning in a firestorm. "Thanks. Let's head in." He bounds in ahead of me, leaving me on the curb.
By the time I get inside he's cornered Rory in the kitchen, and I hear him say, "Let's go outside to figure out what we'll teach them today." He hustles him out the back door, telling Vick to just entertain the kids in the front room when they get here.
He pulls the door behind him, but it doesn't quite shut all of the way. I do need to put away the perishables away, but if I'm being honest with myself I probably don't need to be quite so close to this door.
I hear Gale say, "You're fucking kidding me! Really, you gotta be fucking kidding me!"
"What!?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Did you need to do this today? Those kids are coming over right now. The point is to be a good role model, you ass!"
"This is your thing, not mine. They won't know anyway."
"Maybe not. But what about Katniss, what about Mom!"
"What about Katniss? What about Mom? This doesn't have anything to do with them!"
"Yes it does! Everyone is affected when you pull this shit!"
"They won't know, I'll be sober by dinner."
"Are you kidding me? Katniss already knows, you just spent over an hour with her."
"Well, she's pretty much family, isn't that what you and mom have been saying?"
"Doesn't mean you needed to do this. She's barely been here 24 hours... Mom better not find out."
"She won't, I'll be low key."
"I really don't want to save your sorry ass again."
"You won't. You won't, really."
Gale exhales sharply through his nose then says "Okay, this is how we do it today. You're submissive and I beat the crap out of you while pretending to show the kids wrestling moves."
"Heh! Nice try, I'm not that fucked up."
"I know, as much as I would like to, I was actually kidding."
"I knew that."
"Sure you did smart ass. I think there's just Vick and 3 kids today, so let's just pick a few moves. I'll do them on you, then you can do them on me after, in case you want to get me back for anything. Then we'll split into two groups and the boys can try it on each other." They square away a few more details, but I've lost interest now.
When they're finished Rory enters the kitchen first, avoiding eye contact with me altogether. Gale follows, but comes over closer to me. He waits until Rory's out of earshot before he asks, "How much of that did you hear?" I guess he knew the door wasn't shut.
"Uhh, Just the juicy stuff." I can't pull anything over on Gale.
"This isn't the first time he's pulled this."
Vick yells from the front room that all the boys are here now and raring to go.
Gale shakes his head and says to me "to be continued."
