Chapter 19

"Hey Em?" Daryl called out. "Emma?"

"Hmmm, yeah," she mumbled half asleep. Emma opened her eye as saw that she was in strange room and jumped to her feet her eyes wide open with fear.

"Whoa, Em. It's just me…it's me Daryl. Take it easy," he said softly from the bed trying not to scare her. Daryl could tell that she woke up confused. Hell, he was confused. Why was she sleeping on the sofa and not next to him?

It only took Emma a second to realize where she was and who was calling her. Daryl did not miss the fact that her hand went automatically to the knife at her waist. "Oh sorry. I was confused for a minute were I was." Emma noticed Daryl was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Do you need something?" she asked him getting up and walking over to him.

"I need to take a piss, but I think I need help getting there. I tried to get up and hadda sit back down again."

"Of course," she told him. "Lean on me and we'll get you there." Daryl stood up steadier than he was before, but not enough to walk alone. Emma could see the improvement already.

Daryl slowly made his way to the bathroom cursing under his breath the entire time. He was as weak as a baby and it pissed him off. Emma helped support him on his weaker right side and rolled her eyes at his whining.

"Babe, earlier you needed two people to get you on and off the RV, now it's just me, don't you see the improvement already? You just need a little patience Daryl…for God's sake you were shot."

"Whatever," he said through gritted teeth. "It still sucks."

"It does, but it won't last for long." Emma steered him into their bathroom. He was slightly swaying on his feet and trying to undo his pants. "Oh no you don't. You're going sitting down. I'm not holding you up while you pee."

Daryl looked at her with angry eyes. "You want me to take a piss sitting down? Like a girl?"

"I sure as hell do," she retorted. "You're too weak to stand and I'm not holding you up, so just sit the fuck down and pee!" Emma forgot how stubborn he could be at times.

Daryl raised an eyebrow at her, before turning around. He dropped his pants and sat down on the toilet with her help. He had never known Emma to curse. Sure every other word out of his mouth was one, but not Emma. She never did, until now. "Happy?"

"Very! Now I'll leave you alone, just call me when you need to get up." Emma turned to leave, but Daryl called her back.

"Wait, why are you leaving? You've watched me take a piss hundreds of times, why not now?" Daryl was a bit worried. She wasn't telling him something. First, it was a comment about taking it slow, then she fell asleep on the sofa rather than next to him and now she was uncomfortable while he peed in front of her? What the hell was going on? Sure they had been apart for a longtime, but that was all changed now. She still loved him and wanted to be with him, right?

Emma knew there was no reason for her to leave, except it didn't feel quite right to stay. It had been almost three years that they had been apart, jumping back in where they left off felt weird. Then again maybe she was making more out of this than she needed to, but either way she and Daryl still needed to talk. "Fine, I'll stay." She leaned up against the sink and crossed her arms.

Daryl stared at her the entire time with a sly smirk on his face. By the time he was done, Emma was smiling too. He could always win her over. She helped him out of the bathroom and onto the loveseat that made up the small sitting area. Emma sat down next to him. Neither said anything for several minutes.

"We need to talk," Emma said finally breaking the silence.

"Yep."

"Did you come back?" she asked tentatively. Emma was desperately praying that he was going to say yes. She needed to know that he came back to find her.

"Fuck, yeah of course I did. We both did. Merle and me abandoned the delivery truck in the middle of the fuckin' highway once we knew what was going on and I raced the pickup back to the trailer, but you weren't there." Daryl talked for a long time telling Emma everything he and Merle did trying to find her. "Em, I didn't want to go, but we didn't have a choice. The area was being overrun. Merle and me had never seen anything like it. Where were you?"

Daryl had wondered for years what had happened to her. It weighed heavy on his heart all this time that he had let her down. It had changed him. He never should have gone off with Merle that weekend, but the money was too tempting so he could pay off the ring he wanted to give her.

"That day was a disaster. First, I was missing you terribly, so when Joe called to see if I could cover to for a girl that hadn't shown up I thought it was a way to make extra money and it would keep me busy. Well I hadn't done laundry yet, so I had to wear a slightly dirty uniform. Driving in I noticed lots of police, and fire trucks around and everything felt off. Something was wrong but I didn't know what. The diner was almost empty so I had no idea why Joe called me in. Sunday breakfast should be busy especially after church, but it wasn't. Now I'm wasting my time there, because there is no lunch crowd what so ever and I go to ask Joe if I can go and it was like a switch had turned. Everything downtown went crazy." Emma paused to take a breath. She hated thinking about this day, but she had to clear the air between them.

"We could see what was happening in the streets and the people being attacked. It was horrible, Daryl. I had never seen anything like that before. We locked the door, but these things were banging on it. Joe told us to get out of here and leave. Everyone grabbed their shit and left, but I couldn't find my purse. It had my car keys in it. I had no way to leave and I didn't know what to do. Joe said he'd take me home with him and we'd figure it out. We ran out the back door and Joe got attacked at the car. Oh god, Daryl it was horrible. Joe was screaming and these people were eating him. All I could do was run."

Emma was crying and Daryl pulled her into his strong arms. Even now seeing a live person attacked was horrific. It never got easier. Finally Emma was able to continue and told him how people had taken her in their house to help her and the next day they all escaped in a van. It was one day after another of traveling, hiding and going from one group of people to another.

"That's how I ended up with the Saviors. My small group was attacked so I was the only one left. Then I was... umm saved by Sharon, Steve and Billy shortly after. We were together for just a few weeks when we had a run in with a small herd and the Saviors guys helped us out. They then took us in and…"

"Wait. Wait!" Daryl exclaimed. "You were with the Saviors? With Negan?"

Emma looked at Daryl in surprise. She thought he knew. "That's how I saw you Daryl. I went to the 'ceremony' as Negan likes to call them, but I usually never did. It's way too brutal for me, but I was drawn to it for some reason. When I saw you there, I knew why. I almost ran to you to protect you, but that would have been your certain death. I had been thinking about leaving them, but I had no place else to go. I know they were ruthless and cruel to others, but I had food and protection that I hadn't had in a very long time." Emma paused for a second to take a breath. "I knew Negan was going to let the rest of you go, so I had to find a way to get to you. I left to get my pack and I started to walk the road, hoping the RV would come by and you would see me. Even if you drove right by, I had to leave. I couldn't stay any longer." Emma shuddered to think of what her life would be like as one of Negan's many wives. If he wanted her, there was no way around it. No one said no to Negan and she had no desire to get involved with anyone.

'I can't believe you were a Savior, Em. How could you stay with them?" Daryl was shocked. He hated this group even worse than the Governor and Emma was one of them.

"Daryl what choice did I have? They took me in when I had nothing left, but the clothes on my back and the knife on my belt. I had no idea what they were like, until weeks after I was there. I couldn't survive on my own, but I didn't support what they did. I hated it, but what did you want me to do?" Emma pleaded. How could he not understand that? She wasn't like him, proficient with weapons and surviving. It surprised her that she had lasted this long as it was.

Daryl looked into Emma's eyes and knew he had no right to question how she managed to survive all this time. He hated to admit it, but he owed those fuckers a thanks for helping her, otherwise he may not have her now.

"You're right. We've all had to do shit to survive that we wouldna've done before. Hell, I never considered killing a man and now I can't remember how many it's been, all to keep me and the group alive. I'm sorry," Daryl leaned over and kissed her. He still loved the feel of her lips on his. The kiss started slow, but he pushed it further opening his lips so he could make his tongue dance with hers. Emma responded as she always did. God, he would never ever get enough of her.

Emma leaned into the kiss, so her hands were on Daryl's hard chest. Kissing was good, she could kiss him and that was wonderful. She felt heart started to race, but she was able to control the panic that was just under the surface. This was her Daryl and everything would be okay she tried to convince herself. Except, when she sensed that he was going to take it further, she broke the kiss, she just couldn't do anything more even with him.

"I need us to go slow, Daryl. I'm sorry," she said not meeting his eyes.

Daryl asked her the question that had been weighting on him, "Do you still love me?"

"Yes, of course I do…but…it's been a long time and I think we need to get to know each other again. A lot has happened to each of us in the past few years, so just go slow for me okay?" Emma was praying he would understand and give her the time she needed. She was hoping to be able to get over this fear without having to tell him. She didn't want him to look at her differently, because she was raped.

Daryl was relieved that she still loved him. He had been so worried with her slightly odd behavior that she didn't. If she just wanted to go slow, then he would go slow even if it meant taking a lot of cold showers. "Okay," he said with a smile. "I can do that." He kissed her nose and leaned back onto the sofa cushions, his shoulder was starting to really ache. "Do we have any pain pills?"

"Yes" Emma said jumping up. "Michonne helped me get them when we went shopping."

"Shoppin'?"

"Well technically not shopping, but we went to the supply pantry and I got some clothes. I even picked up two shirts for you. Then we stopped by the infirmary and she got me the pain pills and antibiotics that Dr. Carson wanted you to take." Emma filled a glass with water from the bathroom sink and handed Daryl both a pain pill and an antibiotic. She sat next to him again.

Daryl swallowed the pills and closed his eyes for a brief second. Then he remembered something that Emma had said. He turned to her, "Why did you say that you had to leave the Saviors even if you never met up with us?"

"Because I didn't want to become another one of Negan's wives," she told him.

"What?" he growled. "Did that prick touch you?"

"No he didn't touch me, but he noticed me. That night you were all there, I moved to the edge of the circle of people watching to get a better view of you and his back was to us as he was spouting off his crazy rhetoric to you all so I thought I was safe. All the women knew he had a wandering eye and no one ever said no to him. We were all afraid. He has taken like a dozen or so women as his wives and I always stayed away from him. But that night he turned and saw me. He smiled and winked and I knew he would send someone for me, so I smiled back like I was interested and then slipped out when he wasn't looking. I got my pack and left. I'm just glad that Michonne convinced Rick to stop the RV and here I am." Emma laid her head on his shoulder. No one would ever take his place in her heart. It was nothing short of a miracle that they had found each other again.

"I'm not sure I could bear the thought of him or anyone touching you Em. I'd have to kill anyone that hurt you. I'll never let that happen again, I swear." Daryl had let her down once, and he was bound and determined not to let that happen again.

Emma looked up at him and kissed him gently. His stomach rumbled and Emma realized he probably hadn't eaten recently, maybe not days even. No wonder he was weak. "You must be starving. Negan typically doesn't feed his prisoners. How did I not think about this before? I'll go get you something to eat."

"Yeah, I could definitely eat. Help me back to the bed first, Em?" he asked.

Once she had Daryl settled back on the bed, she stared to leave, but the called her back. "If you see Carol, can you ask her to come up?"

Emma cocked an eyebrow at him. "Carol? I haven't met her yet. Who's Carol?" she demanded. She be damned if she sent another woman to see him if they had something going on. What if Michonne was wrong?

Daryl burst out laughing. "You are so hot when you're jealous. Carol is simply a friend, actually she's more like a sister than anything else. I need to talk to her and I want her to meet you, okay?"

"If I see anything other than sisterly shit going on, you'll pay for that mister," she told him trying to come off angry but failing.

"Your language sucks," he called out laughing at her.

"I learned from the best, so shut the fuck up and rest. I'll be back in a little bit." Emma heard him laughing at her as she made her way down the hall to the stairs. It was a wonderful sound to everyone.