Chapter 12 – Never fear the mountains
"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Love might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'"
I hope you dance - Lee Ann Womack
Monday starts the same. I awake just before dawn and settle into the window seat to begin the day with my knotting. I realize it's not too different than braiding hair. I love watching the sun slowly unveil the mountain scenery. There's something so striking being surrounded by mountains, they're so serene and majestic.
Some might argue that due to their sheer size, mountains make them feel tiny and miniscule, perhaps even meaningless. But to me, it's the enduring beauty of the mountains, the fact that they've lasted hundreds, thousands or millions of years. There's something inspiring and uplifting knowing that they've survived the whipping of the wind, beating of the rain, the scouring of the glaciers and yet here they are, still resolute and immovable. As well, they seem to be a symbol of something to conquer, to overcome, or at least to try. The gentle hills and valleys of 12 and the surrounding forest are by definition less in every way.
As I gaze at out the window I find my neck is a bit stiff. It might be a consequence of actually sleeping in longer stretches. I knead at it with my fingers, trying to work out some of the kinks. Then as predicted, here comes Gale sprinting down that same path, like he's running with a purpose. He looks up to the window, and when he sees me he slows down like he did yesterday. I automatically sit up straighter and he gives me a nod in response to my unvoiced question, 'Are you stopping by?' I pack up my knotting and head downstairs.
Vick and Posy are in the kitchen still waking up. Vick asks me to oversee him making eggs. Of course Posy volunteers to help, and we make a project of cracking the eggs in a bowl. Gale joins us in the kitchen. He's using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face of sweat with one hand, while he holds his Command Band with the other. With some effort I will my eyes to not linger on his exposed stomach. Those muscles are definitely new. I think even I would have noticed those before. As Prim was fond of reminding me, I never used to notice most things like that.
As Gale chugs down some water, he notices me massaging my own neck.
"You're making more work for yourself that way. Let me do it."
He pushes my hand away, when I'm not fast enough in taking his cue for me to stop. My skin immediately tingles at his touch. He's firm as he addresses each knot in turn, but not overly so. I have to admit that he has a better attack angle to tackle these knots.
"Is that feeling better?"
"Mmm hmm, lots better. I think it's actually from sleeping in longer stints at a time."
"Well, that's encouraging. Sleep is good." He says as he gives a final squeeze.
Vick pipes up, "Breakfast is served!" Even Posy tries a helping today. Rory wanders in, rubbing his head sleepily and showing off his own unique morning hairstyle.
Gale greets him, "Hey sleepy head", Rory responds with a nod and a grunt. Hazelle arrives in time to witness the interaction, and she shakes her head, clearly not approving, but picking her battles.
"Good morning!" She chirps.
Gale's finishing off the last few bites of his eggs. "Mornin' Ma! Sorry, I gotta get going. This morning I'm giving another spiel on tunnel fortification. We're going back in tomorrow."
I tense up and see Hazelle does too at the thought of Gale heading into the Nut. The idea of Gale going down into the earth, just like a miner, makes my stomach turn, and suddenly I'm not so eager to finish my serving of breakfast. Though I paid little attention in any of my mining classes, even I know that the first crews in after a collapse run a huge risk of triggering additional catastrophic events.
He gives Hazelle a peck on the cheek and says, "You don't need to worry, I'm in a classroom all day today. I admit it's very likely that I'll die of boredom, even though I'm the one doing the talking!"
Hazelle concedes a small chuckle, and a wistful smile.
He glances at the clock and starts hurrying out of the kitchen saying "Katniss, I'll call you later. Maybe we can meet up for dinner or afterwards."
"Okay" I yell to the slamming door.
Vick sets out two more plates out for Hazelle and Rory and scoops them each some eggs. There's chatter about schedules for a few minutes, when I spot Gales's Command Band on the counter. I snap it up and sped to the door to see if I can catch him. I'm too late, I should have guessed, he's too fast and the road too windy to see him. A little defeated I climb back up the stairs to the house. There's still music playing out of them. Whatever he was listening to during his run, must be on. I'm curious as to what he listens to when he runs, I imagine it's something loud with pounding percussion and driving guitar to urge him to run so fast. But when I put it up to my ear I hear a beautiful ballad:
"And high above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth"
When I get back to the kitchen the Hawthornes are all in high gear getting ready for school. I help pack a few snacks and track down Vick's misplaced homework. After some scrambling everyone is out the door (on time!) and I'm left in the quiet of their wake. One would think silence is the same everywhere, but despite a lack of noise here, there's still a baseline of energy and warmth in the house. When I'm alone in my house in 12, the vacuum of sound and energy is starkly apparent and the silence is all the more draining.
After the morning chaos here, I actually savor a few quiet moments to myself. I find Gale's Command Band and plug it into my charger. I pull up his active song list, and sure enough, it's labelled 'Run'. It's not quite intuitive, but I'm able to determine the sequence of entries to push the songs to my Audio Band. Once it's there I'm able to listen to the whole set. To my surprise, the songs are all in a similar vein, most much more melancholic than energetic and a whole lot more sedate than I anticipated.
Afterwards I tidy up the house and fold some laundry for Hazelle, treat myself to some of Hazelle's leftover stew. If it's possible it might be even tastier today. I relish the meal, and once I've had my fill I wander down to see if Jules is around.
Jules' POV
"Hi there", Katniss says when I open the door.
"Hey, perfect timing! I'm just about finished with my lunch. Come in."
I know she can hear Charles' patient reminders to a violin student in the other room, but we pay them no mind. I motion to the full fruit bowl in the middle of the table, "Do you want an orange?" I ask as I resume my seat in front of my half eaten sandwich.
"I'd love one, but I'm stuffed."
As I work on finishing lunch, it looks like Katniss suddenly remembers something.
"Hey, Gale said there's a barbeque with his squad and a few of his Commander's other squads tomorrow night. He invited you to come along with me, if you want to, that is."
"That sounds great! Your boyfriend seems really sweet," and cute, but I keep the latter to myself.
"Oh, he's not my boyfriend." She replies a little too fast, and now she's getting a little flustered. "He's just my friend...well not just a friend, he's my best friend."
"From what I saw, you guys seem really close."
"We are, we've been through a lot together."
I wonder 'exactly how close', so I raise my eyebrow to question her.
"It's not like that He has a girlfriend."
"Mmm, okay, I think you're lucky either way."
She smiles like she's thinking of a dozen warm and fuzzy memories, "Yeah, I think so too."
We decide it's too beautiful a day to spend indoors, and opt for a walk through the park.
"Do you have any favorite places in the park?" She asks, "I'm still a little fascinated that this large area is available for use by anyone in the community."
"Yeah, I love it! There's a great area off the path through there that has a creek flowing through it in the spring and early summer. This time of year though there's not much to see, it's just a trickle now, if that. Another one I like is over that way, there's a wildflower meadow."
"That sounds nice."
We walk and we talk. Seems like I'm blabbing my whole life story, like how I've never stepped foot outside of District 2. I tell her how I moved here from Westphalia, "all the way" from the other side of The Nut - one whole train stop away. I admit to her that growing up I showed little aptitude and zero interest in the games, so I went to a regular school, avoiding the academy, where kids train for the games.. I tell her all about my family- not rich, not poor, just in the middle. When I mention that it's just my parents, Joy and me, and that she is three years older than I am, I see her hand fly up to the pendant around her neck.
She's not too eager to talk much about herself or her family. I think the newspapers mentioned some of the things that happened to them during the war, but unlike Joy, I can't stand that stuff, so I don't follow any of it.
I tell her all about my 'Brad drama' and the two and a half years of my life I gave it. And I tell it like it is, that when we broke up I needed a change of scenery. Since I didn't have a steady job anyway, I figured I'd see what life was like on the other side of The Nut. And here I am - out of work and living with good ol' Uncle Charles.
I ask her about growing up in her District and how was life in 13 when they were there. It's still so shocking that there was a secret district buried under the earth for so long! The path winds gracefully through the park through some groves of trees and up and down undulating hills. They're not hard to walk up, but obscure the view just enough so you're guessing what's over the next hill, if it's a grove of aspen, a small wildflower garden or maybe a grassy area with tables for picnics. The planners seem to have included everything in this one park.
xxxx
Katniss' POV
I feel invigorated, but exhausted. I haven't walked that far since my jaunts into the forest. Even then I pause often listening and waiting for game. Jules and I split up heading to our respective houses when we leave the park. I collapse on the couch and savor a few minutes of rest. I didn't think I'd fallen asleep, but suddenly I am waking up to the happy chatter as Vick and Posy burst through the front door with Hazelle in tow. They all grin widely when they discover me. Posy throws her arms around my neck tackling me back down on the cushions, giggling all the while.
"Hi Hon!" coos Hazelle "Catch a little shut eye?"
"Yes, I did. Jules and I hiked around the park this afternoon, so at least I deserve this nap!" I say, now that I'm refreshed. They file into the kitchen, Hazelle snapping up some of the oranges from the bowl in the center of the table and slicing them quickly for the kids.
Posy chirps about her classmates and what they did at school. After a mouthful of oranges Vick dutifully takes his homework out while Hazelle relieves Posy's satchel of a collection of sticks and wilted wildflowers. When Vick starts complaining he can't concentrate because of Posy's conversation I volunteer to take her outside. Before I know it she's talked me into returning to the park. We make a beeline for the play structure, Posy at a gallop and me trailing behind.
When we arrive there I'm disappointed to see it's a bit unkempt. There's some litter strewn about along the edge, in the sandbox in front of the play structure is a mound of sand with debris from a newspaper and a dirty popscicle stick jammed in it. I scoff a bit thinking to myself 'it's typical that they can't even keep the park clean!'
However, moments later when Posy spies the the pile with the popscicle stick she shrieks in delight "Oooohhhh!"
"Oh what?" I ask, genuinely curious, but skeptical.
"I found a birthday cake!"
I have to laugh at myself, always headed down the dark path of pessimism if left to my own devices. I'm glad my little companion can share her rose-colored glasses and give me a glimpse of the world from her perspective. I vow to try a little harder to see the 'birthday cake' in the things around me.
We sing a round of Happy Birthday to each other before we transform into Warrior Princesses and defend the castle, formerly known as 'the play structure'. Posy tires me out with with scaling the castle walls, swinging from the arbor and leaping from the drawbridge over the moat. I had no idea Princesses had such a rigorous physical regimen. She climbs to the top lookout and surveys her kingdom, she turns back with a wide grin. She gives me a quick scan from head to toe then gives a curt nod.
"You're a good defender! We'll be able to keep the kingdom safe!" she says assuredly.
"I promise I'll try!" I commit to my leader.
"Gale says you're the strongest person he knows - maybe in the whole world! That's got to be verrry strong because Gale is reaaallly strong! Gale can even carry Vick up the stairs even when he's squirming like a fish!"
"Wow, I hope I never have to pass that test!" and I certainly don't, but it leaves me wondering what Gale is telling Posy. I don't have to wonder long, since she continues.
"Gale says he hopes I grow up to be like you. He always says you're strong on the inside, strong on the outside, beautiful on the inside, beautiful on the outside." As she's reciting this she gently points to my heart, then grabs both of my biceps in her hands and squeezes lightly, then points to my heart again, then tenderly strokes from my jaw to my chin with her hand. I automatically blush at the compliment and momentarily feel my heartbeat pick up, but maybe it's panic since honestly I've not felt anything like strong or beautiful in years.
I encourage her by saying "Well, I do hope you grow up to be all of those, and I think you're doing a great job so far!"
We continue on with castle life, but when we are able to handily defeat the attacks on the castle, it gets tiresome after a bit. She decides the castle is safe enough for now and we can head home. We're walking side by side and turn off the sidewalk to Hazelle's when unexpectedly Posy grips both my legs like an iron vice and I almost pitch over.
"What's going on? What's wrong?" I ask panicked, frantically scanning around for any mutts or peacekeepers.
She looks up so sweetly and says "oh! I'm hugging you, because I love you!"
I realize that I don't even know when was the last time I heard those words spoken to me was. Probably a lifetime ago. It dawns on me that I have hardly had any connections, real deep human connections since Prim passed away.
I kneel down to Posy's level and look her in the eyes, though mine are now a little moist, and let her know, "Thank you! I love you too!", because I do.
By the time we head back to the house there's a delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen. "That smells sooo good! I didn't realize how hungry I was." I tell Hazelle.
"Oh thanks! And special thanks for running Posy around!"
"Anytime!"
"Where did I put that recipe? Katniss, would you check my desk in the front room for a veggie recipe? I'm trying something new. Maybe this dog can still learn a new trick or two."
"Sure thing" I wander to the front room and survey the papers on the top of her small desk. There's a pile of clippings from the newspaper. One headline of a narrow column reads "Hawthorne promoted to Ranger Prime". A second one says, "Hawthorne ready for Prime Time?" which covers Gale's stint on the interview show and that he's linked to a few socialites in town . The next one is larger announcing "Soldier Hawthorne tapped to lead Nut stabilization efforts" about Tela naming Gale to lead the excavation of the Nut and another, the largest headline, states "Nass and Hawthorne are the hottest two in Two," which is a gossip column story about Gale and Danicey's potential relationship. I notice it's written by Joy Bridges. Is that Jules' sister I wonder? It reports they've been seen around town together a few times and notes what a handsome couple they'd make. Below that I find the recipe for broccoli casserole.
"I found it" I call back to the kitchen, as I scan the stories briefly.
"Sorry, it took me a little bit," I say when I make my way back to the kitchen, "I saw the clippings from the paper and had to at least skim them."
"Yeah, I can't help myself. The're's not too much going on in this town, so they like to print even the small stuff. I can't help myself, I need to cut it out when I see his name in print."
"Gale must LOVE that," I say sarcastically.
"Yeah, you still know him better than anyone." she says with a chuckle.
When Rory gets back from school, he dutifully starts setting the table. I automatically start helping arrange the settings once the utensils are out.
"Do you see Gale a lot?" I inquire, mostly to fill the silence.
"No, he works a lot. We only see him when he comes to bring his laundry"
"That's not true, he's here every weekend" Hazelle interjects.
"Yeah, but he spends most of his time at the gym, working out, getting buff and stupid."
"Rory!" Hazelle warns.
"Well, he never was like that - caring about working out." Rory points out.
"He had so many responsibilities before. I think it's good for him to do something for himself finally. And you know Gale, there's no way to do something halfway. He's in with all he's got or it's not worth doing."
I nod, agreeing with Hazelle's logic, and if I'm honest, a little bit with Rory's.
