A/N – Apologies for the long hiatus. I've got a million excuses, but I won't waste your time with them. I'm waging a pretty good battle against writer's block, but I suspect posting will be slower than before, but I sincerely appreciate those that continue to read.

Chapter 17 - Madness

"I can't get these memories out of my mind

And some kind of madness has started to evolve

I tried so hard to let you go

But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole"

Madness - Muse

Hazelle's POV

Well, I don't know exactly what happened last night, or many of the nights (or even days) when Rory stays out late. But you can't live in the Seam without being able to recognize the signs of coping with life by escaping it through alcohol, the leaf or worse. And I do know that Gale, and now Katniss, seem to be on it. Rory's struggling, with well, everything. Most recently is the loss of Prim, but there were many friends from 12 that never made it out of the District that night the rebellion ignited; there's always the gaping loss of Nathaniel, then on top of that the move to Two and of course, just coming of age. He's at a point in his life where he thinks I can't understand. I know I can't pry too much, but I let him know that I love him; I'm concerned and I would welcome him talking to me if he could.

I'll continue to plant seeds of advice, but not force anything on him, as I know he'll just shove it all back at me. Sometimes it's best to have Gale help, when he's not too preoccupied with work, working out or with his girlfriend.

I am forever grateful that Gale wasn't your typical teenage boy. Lord knows with his good looks, I really could have had my hands full. He certainly wasn't a saint, but in truth he only pushed the boundaries minimally, almost just as a rite of passage. As if he knew stretching me past my limit might break me, and us as a family unit as a result. That group home in the Seam was always looking for new residents. I suspected that I wouldn't get off quite as easy with the younger three.

Gale fits the bill of a first born to a tee: conscientious, reliable and mature emotionally – so when we lost Nathaniel, he took the mantle of responsibility without hardly any fuss. Duty and caring for family are so woven into his persona. I'd like to think that's some of my and Nathaniel's doing, he's really just programmed that way. With Gale lifting that burden, Rory, Vick and Posy have more freedom to shirk responsibilities, to you know, just be kids, like they should.

I'm fixing lunches and making sure that Vick eats some breakfast. The eternal procrastinator, he's preoccupied with the finishing touches of his homework assignment that is due today. I do slow down enough to observe Katniss and Gale come downstairs when they are finished talking to Rory. She gives Gale a thankful smile which he acknowledges with a shrug, which I interpret as 'sure, it was nothing.' In response she rolls her eyes and gives him a playful nudge to the ribs as if to say, 'Liar, but thank you anyway.'

I start wrapping up snacks when all of our attention is quickly diverted to Vick and Posy's sharp interaction.

"Quit it!" Vick yells sternly.

"It's mine!" Posy responds equally loudly. They start pulling and pushing like two lumberjacks sawing through a 40 year oak. I'm about to intervene, but Gale, closer and quicker, steps in faster. Looks like Vick has used Posy's favorite pencil in his hurry to finish his paper.

Katniss immediately shies away from the commotion, she sees the bowls set out and she starts to help herself to some breakfast. The reality is that we are both watching Gale and Posy out the corner of our eyes.

I hear my words come out of my son's mouth "Posy, what happened to using words? You know you can't just grab things." That's right, I couldn't have said it better myself. Gale holds up the property in question. It's a beauty all right, a glittery silver pencil with pink hearts adorning it. She jumps to grab it, but he hoists it up out of reach. She bounces at the knees, anxiously.

"Gale, It's mine!" she justifies herself with a whine.

"Even if it's yours, you know better" Gale says. Posy's put out and she lets him know with an audible snuff.

He tries, "Vick's working hard on his paper, he didn't think you'd mind him borrowing your pencil, maybe he even thought it would be good luck." She gives both Vick and Gale a hairy eyeball, letting them both know she doesn't think that is the case.

As he kneels down to her height he says "You're stronger than that, you can't let your reactions get the better of you." Then he does this adorable thing that I've seen him do a couple of times before. This time he precedes it with a quick nod of his head in Katniss' direction. He says something like "You're strong on the outside" and he gives each of her tiny biceps a squeeze. Then he says "and strong on the inside," and he points to her heart and like always he wiggles his finger so that she giggles.

Then he slides his finger down her jaw from her ear to her chin, dabs her nose before he tickles her heart spot again. This little routine has more words to it, but he doesn't say them all this time, and I forget what they are myself. Maybe it's because he's now aware that he has an audience or maybe there's a secret between them. Either way, Posy understands it all clearly. Katniss too, seems to comprehend something more from their interaction. She angles away from them quickly, turning towards me. My guess is she did that so that Gale doesn't see that's she's blushing madly.

At any rate, at the end of this Posy goes over and offers her pencil to Vick, who gives her the world's quickest embrace to serve as both an apology and a 'thank you'. And then it's over. We all just get on with breakfast (or our essay, as the case may be) and that's that.

Katniss' POV

In the quiet after Gale, Hazelle and the kids head out, I celebrate that victory that Gale offered up his ILV as an incentive to Rory. That was genius! I knew Gale wanted to help Rory, he just didn't know how. We can't face ourselves and we can't face our own families, those we supposedly love and care for most. Gale... Mom… and I'm not guiltless either. In the aftermath from the rebellion, Panem isn't the only thing that needs saving. I don't want to continue to dwell on it, I just want to help them help each other.

Speaking of helping out - I want to help out- earn my keep, while I am here. Our old saying from back home holds true, "No one likes a house-guest that actually acts like a guest." To chip in I tackle some of the laundry jobs Hazelle has taken on. There's a bag of dirty laundry that Rory picked up from the Wheelers, a sweet elderly couple that live between the Hawthornes and Charles. I go through it surveying each piece for stains, as I have seen Hazelle do dozens of times. I rummage through Hazelle's sprays looking for one that removes dirt and another concoction that she swears by for tomato sauce. Each bottle is labeled with instructions since her grand plan was for Rory and Vick to help out and earn some money of their own, but it never panned out (at least not YET, she tells me, ever the optimist). Even though she landed the job at the school, she felt a little more income would help them be more stable. Lucky for her, she was able to tap one of the rebuilding programs for a loan to purchase a machine that does the actual washing of the clothes. She's hoping that before winter kicks in that she'll be able to pay off that loan and secure a second one for a machine that will dry the clothes. That way their home won't need to be festooned with damp clothing strung on lines all winter long, like before. As long as the weather continues to be reasonable outdoors she can just take advantage of the sun and the fact that their yard can accommodate a run of laundry lines and still have an area for the kids to play in.

While the machine takes care of the Wheelers' clothes, I check to make sure there's enough space on the laundry lines outside. She's set up 3 lines, each long enough to string up a whole load, so that there's no mixing of different customers' items. She's busy enough between her customers' loads and her own household to put them all through constant use. There's a set that's already dry, so I start taking them down and folding them trying to mimic Hazelle's professional folding technique, which is apparently easier said than done. By the third article of clothing I've figured out that this load is one of Gale's. He's got lots of workout clothes, his standard issue military shirts and pants, and...underwear. I know it's underwear like in everyone else's laundry... But it's not. Folding Mr. Wheeler or Charles' underwear isn't distracting or weird in the least. But now that I'm folding Gale's underwear, I somehow keep thinking of him being IN the underwear. I imagine him in the underwear with those new abs and wondering if he got them working out with Danicey, which I am finding to be BOTH distracting AND awkward at best. I think what if these belonged to Mr. Wheeler, I wouldn't think twice. But maybe that's because he's old enough to be Sae's grandfather. What if it was someone younger's laundry, like Roscoe or Breaker? Gross. Even when I try to pretend it is someone else's underwear I keep wondering why I even need to do that. Since when was folding laundry so confusing? Before I can develop any good hypotheses I've folded the last affronting article of clothing. I decide laundry's not my thing and I go in to straighten up inside before I meet Jules for lunch.

Vick's POV

Posy and I walk home from school with Ma like always. I'm trying to teach Posy how to twine grass like Gale showed us. But she just keeps braiding them, saying it looks prettier. When we get home, Ma stops short at the bottom of the steps, her face instantly stern.

I turn and my eyes trail hers following her gaze to find the front door has been left open. I really hope I didn't leave it that way, because, Ma's gonna tear into whoever it was when she figures it out, even if it was Posy. She looks at us, and Posy and I are frantically trying to remember if we closed the door on the way off to school. Ma shakes her head probably recalling that the three of us left together while Katniss, Gale and Rory were still at home.

She calls for Rory as soon as she crosses the threshold. No answer. In a gentler voice she calls for Katniss. Again, no answer. I make sure the door is solidly shut once we're all inside. When we get to the kitchen I spot two plates with food that are just sitting there half eaten. Posy looks at me with big glassy eyes - she knows as well as I do that Ma will be livid. We've all heard it before, "You don't waste food!" I return Posy's stare uncertainly, not sure of what will happen. Ma doesn't get mad though, she instructs us to stay in the kitchen while she hurries to investigate upstairs. She surveys each floor to her to her satisfaction and returns. I think she's still trying to figure out what's happened when Rory returns from school. Her eyes track his every move like a hawk tracks his prey. He fumbles about the kitchen, unaware that he's on the brink of unleashing her wrath. He sees the plates of food on table and asks "Is there any goat cheese quiche left? I didn't get any." Her face softens at once and she says, "Honestly, I don't know, Hon, check the fridge." Then she looks concerned, turns to me and asks,

"Vick, could you run over to Mr. Charles' and see if Katniss is there?"

I nod and scurry out, again, making sure to close the door securely behind me.

I approach their front door, but hear the familiar sounds of a piano lesson. It makes me hesitate to knock, so I wait for a pause in the exercises and then rap on the door. Mr. Charles cracks the door, probably uneager to disturb the lesson, and to block the wind that has picked up.

"Hello Vick, what can I do for you?
"Hi Mr. C., sorry to bother you, but um, is Katniss here?"

"No, she's not. Actually, I thought Jules said that she was going to have lunch at your house."

"Okaaaay." I say slowly, since this provides a clue as to why there are two plates of food out. But it doesn't help solve the mystery of where Katniss is or why the food was left half eaten. I put on my virtual investigator hat as I try to piece together the few clues we have.

"I can send her over if they come back here first" he offers unconcerned, and a little anxious to get back to his student.

I take him up on it and return to report back my findings to Ma.

It's only a block, but before I make it back to the house, I see Jules rush around the corner from town.

"Vick! Have you seen Katniss?" She says breathlessly.

"What the? " I think to myself, but I say, "Funny you should ask, we were hoping you would know where she is."

"Well, we were at your place, just starting lunch. She took one bite and suddenly she looked like she was going to be sick. She jumped up and bolted out the front door."

"Do you know where she went?" I say stupidly, since I realize if she did, she probably wouldn't be asking me.

"I don't know. I was dumbfounded, it was so out of the blue, it took me a minute to try and follow her. I thought she might have gone in the side yard to get sick, if she wasn't feeling well, and I didn't catch site of where she went."

She sighs in frustration, then continues, "So my idea was that maybe she ran to town for medicine or to the gym to find Gale, but no one I asked has seen her."

I'm stumped (unfortunately, not much of an investigator) so I say, "Let's go inside and tell all of this to Ma, maybe she can figure out something."

When Jules finishes rattling off all of the relevant facts, Ma closes her eyes and inhales deeply, gathering herself. She picks up the phone and hits an auto-call number, probably calling Gale.

"Hi Hon." (I'm right), "What are you up to right now?"

She's trying to figure out if Katniss is there without asking him directly.

"Just got home, huh? Do you guys want to join us for dinner?...Great!... How many?... Two, maybe three if Danicey can make it...Lovely!... So, is the other Roscoe or Katniss? You know they don't exactly eat the same amount (she slips a nervous laugh, she's still trying to keep it light)... Well, no...I thought she might be with you... No, Jules is here with... No, she didn't leave a note... it looks like she left in a hurry...No, no, I checked, all of her belongings are still upstairs...okay, see you in a minute, I'm sorry Honey."

I didn't think to time him, but I swear it takes him less than 3 minutes to fly through the front door. ILV or not, that's pretty dang fast. Now I can clearly picture Gale at work on a military mission. He's not rude exactly, but completely focused, gathering the intelligence and grilling us all for any details, nodding and shaking his head as appropriate.

Once we're done telling or retelling our stories he issues us our orders "Rory, scour the yard. Vick and Posy, check all of the closets."

We do, but we all think he's crazy. As we expected, there is no sign of Katniss in the closets. When we tell him he lets us in on his thinking.

"She's upset and probably cocooned up someplace she can feel safer. I thought she might be hiding in a closet, like she would do in 13."

Ma asks, "Any idea what might have triggered this?"

Gale answers definitively, "Yeah, your quiche."

Ma's shocked, and probably insulted, because obviously she'd never have done that on purpose.

He explains, "It's delicious Ma, but it's got goat cheese. Just like the cheese Prim used to make, remember?"

Ma sighs apologetically. Gale comforts her saying "You didn't do anything intentionally, you're just making delicious, nutritious home cooked meals. It's gonna happen, there are so many little things that can remind her of Prim."

Then he's back on task, "What are some places we know of that Katniss would run to and feel safe? The place I took her on the mountain is too far..."

He's got us all thinking of where we've taken Katniss.

I think none of us thought Posy was paying attention to any of this, but she pipes up "My Castle!"

"Good idea, Pose!" Gale encourages, "Any other ideas? We probably want to think of a few and then split up to check them out."

Rory offers to go with Jules to check out the market where he took her on Saturday, though we all agree that Katniss is more likely to go away from people rather than toward them, if Gale's analyzed the situation correctly. Gale says it's worth going, since he wants to cover all bases. Ma suggests she stay home with Posy, while Gale and I form the search party for the "Castle". But Gale recognizes that Posy wants to find out for herself if Katniss has found safe haven in her castle. Ma gives in, and lets Posy come with us.

Katniss' POV

Now that I look around, I'd have to guess I've been here a while, the temperature's dropped a bit and the sun's light is more golden now as it falls on my sleeve. I look closely at my shirt: the texture of it, the colors, how the thread on the hem is a slightly darker shade than the cloth.

It reminds me of that soft knit blue sweater that I handed down to Prim. By the time she fit into it, the weaving had become quite loose, but she didn't care. There was a yarn at the bottom that Prim tugged on as a nervous habit when she was studying. But when she did that it would start to undo the knitting of that poor sweater. I kind of feel like that sweater now, like someone has just barely pulled and is now unraveling my thread. It's so easy, one little tug and all the work of pulling myself together goes to waste. I don't think I am fully ready for life outside of my trusty chair in 12.

Oh Prim, I miss you down to the marrow in my bones!

Ugh, I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, "Damn you Gale Hawthorne!"

I'm my brief moments of clarity I do realize the behavior of running away from friends and family because I feel abandoned is ironic. I suspect Dr. Aurelius would be pleased to know that I haven't given up my status as a unique and interesting psychological case.