Chapter 13

It had almost been a tearful goodbye when the large group left for Africa. The Slytherin girls were so sad that Harry wouldn't be there with them.

But Harry had business he had to take care of and that was why he was currently seated in a cave with Sirius and Nicholas either side of him at a long conference table whilst King Ragnok of the goblins sat at the other end with five 'advisors'.

Said 'advisors' were carrying very large weapons.

"Well? You asked for this meeting. What do you want Whelp?" Ragnok sneered.

Sirius growled at the insult but Harry just placed a calming hand on his arm.

"I wanted to offer you a chance to create an alliance and perhaps offer you some things. But if you are going to be insulting then I'll just leave and let you be."

"You're just a child." Ragnok sneered. "What could you offer?"

"How about the chance to live above ground? Own wands? Walk amongst wizarding kind as equals?"

Ragnok laughed. "And you think a child can do all that?"

"Well... when you consider the fact that I am going to conquer magical Britain… yes." Harry said casually.

Ragnok looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You're serious."

"No, that would be me."

Everyone glared at the idiot.

"We are entirely serious, King Ragnok." Nicholas confirmed solemnly. Despite the use of a respectful title, you could hear the steel in his voice. They weren't about to be intimidated.

"And what is to stop me from going to your Ministry and telling them all of this?" Ragnok smirked.

"Well, first of all, it would be considered a breach of the contract we signed." Harry reminded him. Ragnok scowled. "Secondly, do you honestly think the Ministry will give you the time of day… let alone anything I'm offering?"

That scowl deepened.

"And if we choose not to agree to an alliance?"

"Then you stay on your side of the doors of Gringotts and we'll stay on ours. If you or your people decide to venture into our lands then they will be subject to the same laws as the rest of wizarding kind. They will be treated as equals."

"You think you can just confine us to Gringotts and that won't be a breach of the contract?" Ragnok scoffed.

"No. Like I said, your people can enter my lands… but they will have to abide by my laws. Essentially it will be the same as it is now, except goblins will be treated better."

"And what assurances will we have that you will not betray us?"

"A magical treaty signed by both of us. Unlike the last one we will put more into it. More provisions and the like. I propose we get our smartest minds to work on a treaty we can both agree to." Harry offered.

"Potter! There you are!"

"What treachery is this?!" Ragnok demanded as he and his guards drew their swords.

Everyone was staring at the ghost of Professor Binns who had just floated into the cave.

"Cuthbert… I'm kind of in the middle of something." Harry tried not to whine.

Cuthbert Binns surveyed the scene. "Ah… you are beginning your attempts at conquering magical Britain." Cuthbert said approvingly. "I still say you should just take over the entirety of England and be done with it." He sighed.

"Bert... we've been over this." Harry scowled. "I don't even really want to conquer magical Britain."

Cuthbert rolled his eyes and turned back to the goblins. "Take whatever deal he gives you." He advised. "He will be completely fair… if you avoid deception now he will be more inclined to make more concessions later.

"But… as an added incentive: Lord Harry James Potter of Slytherin has enemies- not the half-wit Voldemort. I'm talking about armies that he will have to face before they come to us and attempt to enslave or destroy us. I'm sure Harry would be happy to point you in their direction."

"More fairy tales?" Ragnok sneered… it was a bit forced and the fear was creeping into his eyes.

"I wish it was." Harry sighed.


"I don't care what anyone says. Elephants are the best animals on the planet."

The rather snotty nosed declaration was met with amused smiles as Pansy Parkinson stood there with her nose in the air as they stood outside a pen of unicorns.

"I like lions." Dudley declared into the silence. "They can fight, eat all the meat they want and sleep all day."

"Honestly, if I didn't know the boy's ancestry myself, I'd swear he was related to Ron Weasley." Minerva commented to Filius as they stood nearby.

The large group was visiting a Kenyan Magical Preserve. It contained both magical and non-magical animals. It was a beautiful safari experience… despite Pansy's irritation at not being allowed to get closer to the elephants.

"Now, Minnie, Dudley is nothing like Ronald." Filius countered. "Dudley is looking to improve himself. According to Sirius and Harry, his marks are barely average but he puts everything he has into what he does get."

*BOOM*

It was the sound of an explosion that tore through the sky and sent both animals and humans panicking.

It was only one Severus Snape who was instinctively aware of what had happened as he felt it and looked to the sky.

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN." He ordered with a Sonorus. "IT IS JUST LORD SLYTHERIN ARRIVING." He pointed to the sky where the spherical craft, that was instantly recognised by the Hogwart's alumni, was hovering.

The Hogwarts crowd quickly calmed. This had a similar effect on the other patrons of the preserve… but they were still a bit wary.

The spherical craft began to lower to the ground and landed before the sides split to allow a very shaky Aurora Sinastra to exit the craft and proceed to kiss the ground.

"That was so exciting!" Bathsheda Babbling exclaimed as she practically skipped out followed by an amused but more reserved Septima Vector. "You simply have to teach me to fly, Harry. I've never been that interested in brooms before but if they were like that-"

"You are never doing that again." Aurora interrupted as she rounded on the emerging Harry Potter.

Harry looked a bit worried at the angry woman. "We were fine!"

"You broke the damned sound barrier! You scared maybe twenty different countries!"

"Aurora… if the idiots think they can build an airport near residential homes then they can suffer a little bang when we pass them." Harry argued calmly.

Auror raised her hands to near Harry's neck as though she were about to strangle him. She let out an inarticulate growl of frustration before stomping off.

"Did you have to make such a racket when you arrived?" Filius asked as he and Minerva approached.

"According to what we have learnt about super-sonic speeds, we certainly had the ability." Septima said with that same amused smile. "But Lord Slytherin here wanted to 'test the braking charms'."

"I wouldn't worry about it." A still grinning Bathsheda said dismissively. "With the right charms and runes we can eliminate the effect entirely."

"Well that doesn't sound like fun." Harry grumbled.

"Harry, if you wouldn't mind, could you give me a lift back home?" Remus asked as he approached with Sirius. "Tonight's the night." He said cryptically.

Harry grinned at him. "I want to conduct a little experiment."

Remus was instantly wary.


"Aaaannnnd… the full moon has officially passed." Harry grinned more than twenty-four hours later.

He and Sirius turned in the craft to a large cage where Remus Lupin sat in nothing but a pair of shorts. He was gobsmacked.

"But… that's impossible!"

"Ok… explain to me how it is impossible if it just happened, Professor." Harry said sarcastically.

"But- But- Harry, do you know what this means?" Remus asked as he grabbed the bars of his cage eagerly.

"That you need to learn the difference between boxers and shorts?" Harry asked as he pointedly looked up.

Remus look down and gave a full body blush as he tucked himself back in. Sirius was rolling on the floor laughing. It was spurred on by the euphoria of knowing the last of his adopted siblings wouldn't suffer every month.

"Harry, it means that anyone infected can escape the change by racing the sun! We can use the floo or portkeys!"

"Or… you could buy a cruise ship and race the sun." Harry grinned.

"I don't think we'd want to take the risk of losing that race." Remus said firmly.

"Well, all we need is a few houses with large grounds at various places around the world." Harry shrugged. "We can then set up some portkeys for travel back and forth."

"Your mother would be so damned proud of you Pup." Sirius said with happy tears as he gave him a bear hug.


Harry was spending a lot of time with a large A4 notebook and a pencil. Even Hermione, who was with the group at Luna and Padma's request, thought he was spending too much time working.

But, like with his attempts to go into space, he had had an idea and refused to stop or slow down.

"Har-ry."

Harry's blood practically froze in his veins at that half whining/half pleading tone.

He slowly looked up from his notepad to see Luna, Hermione and Su Li standing there in light summer dresses.

"Girls… I'm twelve. Have you tried asking an adult?" Why did they always have to gang up on him like this?

"They said you are in charge of summer holidays." Hermione answered.

"Someone is getting locked out of their office this September." He grumbled. "What do you want?"

The girls shared a look before non-verbally agreeing to let Hermione take the lead.

"Next summer, we were hoping we could go to China."

Harry looked at Su with a raised eyebrow. "If you want to visit someone I can easily arrange it."

Su looked embarrassed and shy. "I wanted to show them Pandas."

Harry couldn't help the amused smile that crept onto is face. It was good to see Hermione and Luna with friends and doing things that children should do. Unlike his last time round where Luna had been ostracized by the school and Hermione's only friends were him and Ron.

"I think I can arrange that." He assured them. "But!" He interrupted their attempt to squeal like the happy girls they were. "I am putting you three in charge of arranging the locations for the following summers. Talk to the rest of the people here, children and adults, and ask them for suggestions. We can always visit more than one place during the summer.

"Put my suggestion down for Japan." He said after a moment's thought.

"What's in Japan?" Hermione asked.

"A certain type of fox I want to introduce to my godfather." His grin was near Machiavellian… his expression changed to one of worry. "But don't tell Sirius I said that!"


Harry had had a very busy summer. It was filled with tasks that were nigh on impossible. From negotiating with goblins to avoiding the wrath of Aurora Sinastra.

But now he had to deal with his greatest and most difficult mission of the summer.

"I absolutely refuse to do this willingly."

Harry sighed as he looked up at the black clad and scowling Severus Snape. "I don't want to order you to do this Sev. But you need to do this."

They were currently standing on a muggle street in Peckham, London.

"I have survived more than thirty years. I can survive thirty more." Severus said firmly.

"Yeah, and I'm not supposed to be able to live while Tom 'survives' and vice versa. You deserve better. I take my responsibilities seriously. Regardless of why you are my slave, you are still a sentient being, muggles have laws about how even their worst criminals are to be treated with a modicum of dignity."

"Does this mean you are going to release me?" Severus asked sarcastically.

"You're still serving your time. Ask me again in say…seven to nine years." Harry smirked. He couldn't actually release Severus, but he could give him permission to live as though he were free.

Severus looked at him with a confused frown. "You'd really release me?"

"Sev, you can't lie to me." Harry sighed. "I'll know when you are ready to be free. When you've let go of your anger and hate and learnt to actually enjoy life, then you'll be ready."

"And in the mean time you take pleasure in subjecting me to these… tortures." He spat.

"You are such a goddamned baby. Get in there!" Harry barked.

Around them, the various passers-by and shoppers chuckled as they watched a thirteen-year-old boy order a very dour thirty-year-old into a muggle barbershop named 'Desmond's'.

Two seconds later an older black man with a scraggly beard, rumpled clothing and a distinctive hat ran screaming from the small shop.


Inside the shop Harry turned and glared at a rather smug Severus. "That is why you are getting an image fix."

"Ignore Porkpie." A thin, older black man said dismissively. "He'd jump at his own reflection. What can we do for you here at Desmond's?"

The man had a strong Caribbean accent.

"There is an old African saying-"

"Not now Matthew!" The older man snapped at a young black man sitting on the waiting chairs behind the barber's chairs.

"Matthew, why don't you go and see if Porkpie has stopped running and make sure he hasn't had a heart attack." A woman instructed.

"Fine, but I'm not going to the hospital with him. I have class this afternoon." The man was dressed like a student.

Eventually it was just Harry, Severus, the man and the woman in the shop.

"So, I am Shirley and this is my husband, Desmond." Shirley introduced them with a smile. "What would you like?"

"Sev here needs a haircut." Harry said bluntly.

"A haircut? Looks like he's gonna need a whole lot more than just a haircut." Desmond said as he eyed the scowling man warily. "Is that… oil in your hair, boy?"

"The name- oof" Severus glared down at the thirteen year old with the wandering elbows.

"Sev works as a chemist and… he spends too much time with the fumes." Harry explained.

"Shirl', you better take him first. Get him cleaned and then we can talk styles." Desmond instructed his wife.

"I'll just take a seat." Harry went to sit down.

"Oh no you don't young man." Desmond quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and ushered him into the barber's chair. "You look like you could use a trim for that mop top you got going. You also look like you're becoming a man! Need to start shaving now." Desmond said proudly. "I'll treat you to your very first shave whilst my wife deals with your friend."

Harry was pretty pleased with that news. He was finally getting the rest of his hair.

"So, Matthew, where in Africa are you from?" Harry asked as Desmond prepared his tools and the young scholar returned with a very flighty Porkpie.

"Gambia." The man said proudly.

"Ah. I just came back from Kenya."

"Just a hop, skip and a jump from my homeland." Matthew smiled.

"Wha'?" Porkpie looked at him as if he was nuts. "You think you're Superman now? I don't know much but I know Kenya ain't nowhere near Gambia."

"It's all Africa my friend." Matthew said with a dismissive smile.

"I doubt I'd be able to get from Kenya to Gambia before school started up again." Harry chuckled.

"Ooh sweet Merlin!"

Everyone turned to look over at the groan of ecstasy to where Shirley was massaging shampoo into Severus' scalp.

"Sounds like Shirley's found a new man!" Porkpie laughed.

"Watch your mouth 'Augustus'." Shirley warned.

"Augustus? That's a big jump from 'Porkpie'." Harry remarked.

"We call him 'Porkpie' 'cause he's always wearing that Porkpie hat." Desmond explained as he began to comb and trim Harry's mop of hair. "His full name is: Augustus Neapolitan Cleveland Grant." Desmond managed a pretty decent British accent for that mouthful.

"Wow… I think Porkpie suits you better." Harry told the now grumpy looking man as he looked in the mirror. "Of course I know a man called Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore… I call him Albie for short."

"Dear God I can't believe I've been missing out on this!"

Severus was now becoming a bit disturbing.

Shirley just smirked.

"Shirl, put me down for after him." Porkpie said with complete sincerity.

She sent him a look that promised nothing but suffering.

"So, Sir, were you born in England?" Harry asked Desmond.

"Sir?" Porkpie laughed.

"Porkpie! Shut up or leave." Shirley snapped.

Severus appeared to have fallen into a trance.

Or he'd drifted off to sleep.

"No son." Desmond shook his head. "I was born and raised in Guyana. One day I dream of going back there." He said wistfully.

"Where's that?" Harry asked curiously.

"Where's that?!" Porkpie exclaimed indignantly. "What they teach these kids nowadays?"

"Oh? And I'm sure you can name every country on the planet and point them out in an atlas." Shirley challenged.

Porkpie backed off a bit but looked like a sulky child. "At least I know where Guyana is." He said moodily.

"Got any good animals in Guyana you wouldn't find in India or Kenya?" Harry asked.

"None that a young man such as yourself should go searching for." Shirley admonished.

He looked at her with a wry smirk in the mirror. "Answers like that are what make young men like me go looking for them."

About two hours later Severus and Harry left the barbershop. Harry had to practically guide Severus as he was so relaxed. He had given Desmond a thousand pounds and told him to consider it pre-payment for future visits.

Harry made it his mission to pay close attention to Severus' hair and to send him back to Shirley on a regular basis.


Despite Harry's adventures, the summer holidays came to an end and the new school term rolled around. It was now his third year.

Harry was hoping for a nice quiet time. In his previous time through, Sirius and the Dementors had been his annual challenge. Sirius was now free and if the Dementors decided to put in an appearance then Harry would probably kill Fudge.

Albus had announced his sabbatical at the end of the previous year and Minerva was now in charge.

She had her first fire to deal with at the Welcoming Feast when the doors to the Great Hall opened and Delores Umbridge marched in with a smug look on her face and a troop of six Aurors in her wake.

Before Minerva could deal with the intrusion a voice piped up and she placed her head in her hands and tried not to sob as Filius patted her back.

"Oi! Who the devil do you think you are? Barging into my home without so much as a 'by your leave'?"

The sight of a thirteen-year-old Harry Potter standing in the path of the ugly woman in pink made sure everybody was paying attention.

The older years were excitedly telling the new firsties that they were about to get some real entertainment now.

"Out of the way boy. This is official Ministry business." Umbridge said dismissively as she tried to push past.

Harry, however, was no long eleven. He was a thirteen-year-old and he was fairly fit and healthy.

Umbridge was a pudgy little inbred woman.

Harry easily pushed her back into her Aurors.

The evidence that Umbridge was nearly universally hated was shown by the fact that the Aurors did not catch her. They did manage not to smirk or smile as she glared up at them.

"Arrest that boy!" She ordered.

Harry just looked at the Aurors expectantly.

They looked between the creature in pink and the young lad.

"For what?" One of the braver men asked.

"He just assaulted me!" Umbridge exclaimed angrily as she struggled to her feet.

"You just attacked my godson and heir in his own home." Sirius answered loudly from the staff table. "I recommend apologising. The castle really doesn't like it when people hurt Lord Slytherin."

"I do not have time to play childish games with a boy." She said as she stepped around Harry. The Aurors looked at Harry and just shrugged. They didn't move from where they were.

Harry suddenly realised that these Aurors were there when he had confronted the goblins in his first year.

His second first year. The one that… two years ago. When he confronted the goblins two years ago.

"Aurors, arrest the werewolf."

The Aurors looked unhappy. The lead Auror looked to Harry. "I'm sorry Sir, but the law is on her side on this one. Werewolves are not allowed around children and they aren't allowed to hold positions of authority."

"That's fine." Harry shrugged.

Everyone in the hall looked shocked… except Umbridge who looked very smug.

"Everyone, I'm sorry, but you will need to get your belongings and head back down to the station. It seems the school will be moving elsewhere."

There was the sound of a thud.

Remus was at the staff table with his head smacked onto the wood.

Sirius and Filius were just grinning.

Delores just ignored him. "Aurors, what are you waiting for? Arrest him!"

Severus, meanwhile had pushed his chair back and was muttering heatedly to Dobby behind the massive bulk of the seated Hagrid.

"You're not taking Professor Lupin!"

Harry was surprised.

The Aurors were amused.

Delores was outraged.

More than ninety percent of the school had risen from their seats and pointed their wands at the confrontational group.

"For Merlin's sake Lupin! Just drink the damned potion!"

Everyone turned at the sound of Professor Snape's irritated voice. He was thrusting a vial at Remus who looked at it suspiciously.

Harry frowned. "Remus, drink it." He said firmly. He had no idea what the potion was but he knew Snape couldn't do anything bad because of his instructions and he couldn't do anything to hurt Harry… poisoning Remus would definitely hurt Harry.

Remus sighed and downed the potion.

Sirius was looking murderously at Snape. If this hurt Remus in anyway then he would kill the bastard.

Remus began to look a little green.

His cheeks puffed out as if he was trying to hold something in.

Then it happened.

*BURRRRP*

Everyone laughed as the pink mist erupted from the Professor's mouth. Even Sirius.

Severus sighed in relief and turned to Harry. "Situation resolved. There is no werewolf at Hogwarts."

"I… erm… huh?" Harry asked with the eloquence of a man of his station.

"I was able to develop a cure for lycanthropy." He explained as he sat down. The emotional and mental stress of the situation had really taken it out of him.

"Wait! That's Snape?!"

Everyone turned to the irritating red head at the Gryffindor table.

"Ronald Weasley! You will mind your manners!" Minerva barked. "Just for that you have detention tomorrow with Mister Filch."

Ron sat down grumpily.

"For your information," She addressed the rest of the school. "Yes, this is Professor Snape."

Considering his much shorter hair which was slightly wavy and in no way limp and greasy, not to mention the fact that he wasn't dressed in his customary tailored robes but instead was wearing trousers, a shirt and a blazer… people could be forgiven for not recognising the man.

Sirius had been right pissed at Harry for taking away all the ammunition for snarky remarks about greasy gits.

Harry had left him hanging from the Astronomy Tower by his ankles for about ten minutes.

"Preposterous!" Oh yes. Umbridge. "There is no cure for being a werewolf. Nothing short of death will cleanse the taint!"

"It can easily be verified by the standard methods." Severus said dismissively.

Poppy was immediately out of her seat and running spells over Remus.

"When did you manage this?" Harry asked Severus incredulously.

Severus Snape actually blushed. "Desmond's."

Harry tried not to laugh. He really did.

He really failed.

Severus scowled… but couldn't stop the blush.

"You- oh god! You have to go back every weekend! Who knows what else you can come up with!" Harry managed through his laughter.

"Enough of this ridiculous fairy-tale!" Umbridge screeched. "Remus John Lupin is-"

"Not a werewolf."

Everyone looked at Madam Pomfrey in amazement.

"Short of waiting for the full moon, I have no reason to believe Professor Lupin has lycanthropy. The laws regarding werewolves do not apply to him."

"Impossible." Delores hissed.

This was not going the way she had envisioned it. She had expected to come to Hogwarts, reveal that Lupin was a werewolf (unintentionally scaring the 'poor' children) and then cart him off to be held pending a trial.

She would then use her heroic actions to push through a law that called for the death penalty on any werewolf that broke the law.

Nope… this was not going the way she wanted.

"I don't care what they say!" She was shouting now. "There is no cure for lycanthropy! Aurors, arrest him and we will have our own aspects verify his condition."

"Fair warning: We've proven he isn't a werewolf." Harry calmly spoke up from between the Aurors and Umbridge. "I can testify that I was with Remus John Lupin for the entirety of the last full moon and he didn't turn into a wolf of any kind.

"As such, if you try to take Remus John Lupin from this castle it will be considered kidnapping and you will be booted… literally, from the castle."

The Aurors tried not to cringe as they heard the sound of metal boots on stone floors approaching.

"Madam Umbridge, Lord Slytherin is right. We have no proof that the Professor is a werewolf and plenty that he isn't." The lead Auror tried to reason. "At this point it is a case of mistaken identity and we will need to consult with the Head Auror and possibly Madam Bones."

"Oh yeah, Amelia." Harry said in realisation. "Hey, Ember?"

The little Phoenix flamed into the Great Hall high in the air where she sailed down into a controlled landing on Harry's shoulder. She was about the size of a small cat now.

"Can you go and get Amelia?"

The bird tweeted and then vanished in a burst of flame.

Harry was left to grumble as he tried to put out his burning robe.

Two seconds later and Ember returned with Amelia.

She had clearly been sitting down on her sofa judging by the fact that she was in the right position for it.

"What the devil- Harrry." She drawled dangerously as she took in her surroundings.

"Seriously, you couldn't have asked? Maybe have given her a little warning?" Harry asked the phoenix defeatedly as Amelia picked herself off the floor. He turned to the aforementioned Head of the DMLE (or as Sirius liked to call her 'The HOT Cop'). "This sad excuse for a human is trying to take Remus away for being a werewolf. Poppy just ran all the tests short of the full moon and he came back clean."

Delores was outraged… but she wasn't going to try and take on Amelia Bones, Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Bones.

Amelia turned her glare on Delores before moving over to the Aurors. "Robards, can you confirm that Madam Pomfrey performed the tests and Professor Lupin passed?"

"Yes Ma'am." The lead Auror said with far more respect than he gave Umbridge. "Lord Slytherin also stated that he spent the last full moon with the Professor and didn't witness a change."

"Show me the paperwork." She instructed.

"Madam Umbridge has them."

She turned and held out her hand. "Well?"

With clear reluctance she handed them over.

Amelia carefully went through each page of parchment. Her frown getting more severe as she went.

Then she got to the end.

She couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped. "Robards, arrest her." She said without looking up.

"How dare you!"

"You are the biggest fool in the Ministry." Amelia smirked at the outraged Under-Secretary. "These papers are perfectly arranged. They would stand up without challenge at trial.

"But you made one fatal mistake, Delores. Can you guess what that is?" She asked patronisingly.

"You are the one making a mistake, Bones!" She screeched as Robards cuffed her.

"Harry, who signed these papers?" She asked as she handed him the sheaf.

Harry quickly went through them. "Delores Jane Umbridge… she signed on both lines." Harry chuckled. "Does she get paid for doing two people's jobs?"

"It's worse than that, Harry." Amelia shook her head as she allowed herself a fairly sadistic smile at Delores. "The Under-Secretary does not have the authority to sign arrest warrants. The Minister can do it but it requires my signature as well. At a push the Chief Wizard's signature would do in place of mine.

"Delores Jane Umbridge, you are being charged with forgery of Ministry documents, attempted kidnapping, trespassing, falsifying an arrest warrant, endangering children, defamation of character and give me enough time… attempted murder." Amelia was clearly enjoying herself.

"You'll regret this Bones!" Umbridge yelled as she dragged away in restraints.

Amelia ignored and turned to address the school. "My apologies to you all. Especially Professor Lupin and Lord Slytherin. I may require statements from you regarding this incident."

"Thanks for coming." Harry smiled. "Ember, can you give her a lift home?"


The school's proper first day ran pretty well. Amelia sent a quick message that Delores was stuck in a cell and the Minister was desperately trying to find out what happened to her.

Fortunately, anyone who knew the answer to that had been sent out of the Ministry building on an errand that would take all day.

Amelia herself was sequestered in her office going over the parchment trail Delores had left.

The History of Magic classes were the only real surprise. Cuthbert had returned from his investigations and practically demanded an assistant to help him do simple things like turn pages in the new books he wanted. Until a witch or wizard showed an interest in history, he was assigned a house-elf.

Students were torn between happiness that Binns was actually interesting now and fear and disbelief at what he claimed other magical cultures, and even muggles had achieved.

He was making wizards sound… medieval.