A/N: An additional disclaimer I forgot to add. Desmond's is a British sitcom from the early 90's about a small barber shop in South-East London. It is run by a husband and wife. Porkpie and Mathew were two characters who spent most of their time sitting on the waiting chairs and nattering with their friend Desmond.


Chapter 15

Harry had grudgingly accepted a grudgingly given apology from Augusta Longbottom.

Amelia had escorted Augusta from her third day in the cell to Hogwarts to talk to Frank. It had taken a lot of convincing on Frank's part to prove it wasn't a trick but he knew things about the family that no one else would.

Albus and Armando had thrown a spanner in Harry's plans for the pensive. They had successfully purchased one but pointed out that you needed to be an Occlumens to withdraw your own memory or allow a legillimens do it.

"Alright, hold up." Harry huffed as he caused his teacher to pause with wand poised in front of his face. "Just how do I clear my mind?"

Severus grumbled and lowered his wand. "Everyone is different. They have their own methods that work for them."

"What do you do to your mind, when you 'empty' it, would a legillimens see it?"

"They would see what you want them to see. The true master Occlumens does not keep intruders out but deceives them into believing they are seeing what they want to see."

"So… the whole thing is about lying?"

Severus gave a long suffering sigh. "No. It is about hiding your thoughts-"

"Which is the same as deceiving people about where they are… so… lying."

Severus leaned forward on the couch. "You can order me to teach you this and I will have no choice. But it will be your own fault if you destroy your brain because you weren't listening properly when I instructed you-"

"Whoa, hold up there Sev." Harry laughed. "Now, I understand that the mind arts are a delicate and dangerous subject. But you started your lesson with the instruction: Clear your mind.

"And that was it.

"I had to ask you for further instruction, so I don't really think you have a leg to stand on when blaming me for not listening."

Severus could only grumble. It was going to be a long few hours.


Despite the fact that Severus was a reluctant and grumpy teacher and that Harry was an annoying git, the occlumency training went pretty well.

Unlike his first attempts he was able to stop Severus and get him to explain. Harry was now able to hide his thoughts from Severus for quite some time. He would need more practice to be able to withstand a sustained assault.

It was currently the weekend and Harry had managed to annoy Severus even more. He had brought Frank and Alice with them to Desmond's.

Alice was able to walk as long as Harry kept a firm hand on her. Frank was in a wheelchair that Harry had added some transfigured bits and pieces to that would make it look like Frank had a machine to talk for him.

Severus was fairly put out when Shirley paid far more attention to Alice than him. He was also made to wait until she was finished with Alice.

Something that Porkpie took great pleasure in ribbing him about.

Unfortunately the conversation took a bit of a downer when Porkpie asked about Frank's condition.

"My wife and I were kidnapped and tortured." Frank explained. "I lost the ability to control myself and Alice… we don't know what happened." He explained.

"Porkpie!" Desmond hissed.

"It's ok." Frank assured them. "If it wasn't for Harry we would be stuck in a hospital with nothing but white walls. Harry is the one who figured out I was actually aware in here. Just seeing Alice smile is enough to help me forget the torment."

Alice was currently luxuriating beneath the tender ministrations of Shirley's talented hands.

Severus was still pouting next to Porkpie.

"And how you know young Harry?" Porkpie asked Frank as he indicated the thirteen-year-old to his right.

"He's Alice's godson. He should have lived with us but the bastards got to us and now we aren't even fit to take care of ourselves."

Desmond could see the self-recrimination in the mirror as he cut the man's hair. "Don' you go taking on blame for what those fools did." He admonished. "If you are still sane after all these years trapped in your head then you are stronger than most."

Porkpie shuddered. "Don' think I could last with nothing but me thoughts for a decade."

"Neither could anyone else." Desmond muttered sarcastically, but it took some of the sadness out of his customer's eyes.

"So what happened to you last weekend, Harry?" Shirley asked as she continued her work on Alice. "Severus said you slept for two whole days!"

"Ha! Even Porkpie can't manage that." Desmond laughed as the man in question looked indignant.

"Yeah, I managed to wipe myself out whilst I was doing some work. I accidentally worked for nearly two days straight and forgot to eat and sleep."

"How can you forget dat?" Porkpie scoffed. "If I forget to sleep me body will just fall on the spot."

"Yes." Matthew drawled. "And if he forgets to eat his belly clearly alerts the rest of us."

"Harry was working on his theory that I was conscious in here. He was getting a way for me to talk."

"You didn't just alert the adults?" Shirley frowned.

"Erm…"

"Harry grew up with bad examples of adults." Severus answered. "His parents were killed by the same people who tortured Frank and Alice. As much as I hate to admit it: he is far more mature than most adults."

"Well there's no need to be insulting!" Harry said indignantly.


The following day Harry walked into the offices of the Daily Prophet with Sirius and a small trunk.

"Tell Cuffe that Lords Slytherin and Black are here to see him." Harry instructed the secretary with his best Lucius Malfoy impression.

"Of course Mi'lords! Right away Mi'lords!" The middle-aged woman was practically genuflecting as she hastened to fulfil their every whim.

"So… is this what happens when you go out?" Harry asked Sirius.

"It depends on where I go. But I do try and stick to the muggle world or… never mind." He suddenly looked very guilty.

"Where do you go?" Harry demanded.

"Just to some… places that don't know me or care about my status in British Wizarding Society." Sirius said trying to be dismissively nonchalant.

"Have you been stealing my spaceship to travel abroad?" Harry demanded as he invaded his godfather's personal space.

"What do you want? I'm a busy man." The pair turned to see a slightly overweight man standing at the door to the office. He was clearly not as impressed by who they were as his clearly embarrassed secretary was.

"Let's talk in your office." Harry said as he marched past Cuffe.

Sirius grabbed the Editor-In-Chief of the Daily Prophet by the elbow and led him in. Barnabus was not used to being bull-rushed like this. He was usually the bull.

Harry turned to Barnabus as Sirius closed the office door and put up privacy wards. "Here's the deal, Cuffe: This trunk is filled with pure gold. Not galleons, gold. You can have it all if you agree to sign over ownership of the Prophet to us and agree to step down."

Now you might think that a man like Barnabus Cuffe, a man who was not afraid to print stories about powerful people even if he didn't have any evidence, might not be swayed by riches.

No, he was a greedy bastard like every other wizard out there.

Of course, that meant he would try and fleece these fools for all he could.

He waved a nonchalant hand. "I can tell you right now that there is no way that box holds enough to cover the worth of my paper."

"Oh well. We tried." Harry said as Sirius picked up the small trunk.

Barnabus was stunned and confused. This was not how negotiations went. "Wait! Maybe we can work something out."

Harry and Sirius paused at the door. "The offer is final, Cuffe." Sirius informed him. "Did you honestly think we would negotiate with you?" He said with a hint of disgust. "We have read your paper, you know. We've seen the lies you've printed about us and our friends.

"We want you gone and were willing to pay a substantial amount to see it happen. But if you aren't willing to cooperate then we will seek other methods."

Barnabus scoffed. "You've been listening to those damned mudbloods you always have at that school. There is no law against what we do. The Wizengamot won't listen to your claims of libel and slander."

"No, but wizarding society does have its own set of available actions for disagreements." Harry smiled nastily.

"A Wizard's Duel!" Barnabus gasped.

"Well, considering some of the articles you've written about myself and my godson, the houses of Black, Potter and Slytherin can demand nothing less."

"Not to mention the insults written about my vassals." Harry added. "Calling myself and Lord Black murderers for winning a legal duel that was supervised and approved of by the Ministry… we are not happy."

Barnabus was greedy, but he was not an idiot. "I'll take the deal."

"Good. One additional thing, you will leave the country. It's not like you can't afford it." Sirius allowed no room for argument.

Barnabus knew he didn't have a choice.


Barnabus Cuffe had agreed to leave the country within the week. Harry had even offered a generous additional amount for the man's house and assets on the islands.

Now Harry had a paper with no Editor-In-Chief.

It also became clear that he had no intention of appointing one.

"You cannot just quit your education!" Minerva ranted in exasperation as she paced in Harry's quarters.

"I did it once. I don't see why I can't do it again." Harry pouted from his armchair. Filius was in his own armchair whilst Aurora, Sirius and Remus were on the sofa.

They had decided to stage an intervention when it was clear that Harry had stopped attending classes.

"He did say he passed his OWLs the last time through." Sirius pointed out.

He cringed behind Remus as Minerva turned her furious glare on him.

"Aunt Minnie, is there anything you teach in your classes, to any of your seven years, that I don't already know?" Harry reasoned.

Minerva's expression fluctuated rapidly between annoyance, frustration and careful thought.

She was interrupted by a knock on Harry's door to the Slytherin Common Room.

"Come in!" Harry called out.

The door opened to admit Dudley and Gregory.

"Oh, sorry Harry." Dudley said with a slight blush as he backed out.

"Come in, guys." Harry insisted. "You just saved me from a very pointless conversation." He grinned, completely ignoring Minerva's death glare.

"Can we… erm…"

"Let's step into the study." Harry nodded at his cousin's apprehension.

This left the adults alone in the room.

"You could try and be a bit more supportive." Minerva glared at them all.

Filius chuckled. "My dear, we are being very supportive. Of Harry."

"You cannot honestly believe-"

"Minnie." Filius interrupted her softly. "Harry has been through his Hogwarts years already. He spent most of that time nearly getting killed. I can't in good conscience ask him to go through it all again. He's earned his chance to enjoy life, we should be happy for him and support him."

Minerva sighed as she sat on the edge of one of the other armchairs. "It is not his education I worry about. It is his personal life. From what he has told us he had only two friends at Hogwarts. Now he has friends in every year in Slytherin. Not to mention a few of the other houses.

"I just want to make sure that he doesn't lose those friends."

"Minerva, I don't think Harry has any intention of leaving Hogwarts, or these quarters." Aurora offered. "I just think he intends to use the time that classes are in session to work on other projects. Like the spaceship. Which I think we can all agree is far more important than sitting in class."

They ceased their discussion as Harry returned with the two boys. "Alright, what do you lot know about dyslexia?"

He was met with a bunch of blank looks.

"Is it a form of plant?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't asking for a guess."

Remus sat back, admonished.

"So, based on the fact that the Deputy Headmistress of Great Britain's only magical school doesn't know of it, I'm guessing no one else will. Bloody brilliant." Harry grumbled as he conjured another sofa and indicated the now nervous boys to sit. "Dud, could you please explain, briefly, what you know about dyslexia?"

Dudley was now very nervous. He hated being the object of attention for teachers. "Erm… it's when someone can't read or write properly 'cos the letters get all jumbled. They thought I might have it at school… but I'm just dumb." He said with his head down in shame.

"Bullshit!"

"Harry!"

"Fine: Bovine Excrement!"

Minerva just glared at him.

"The only way you would be dumb is if you refused to learn." Harry told his cousin with authority. "You've been reading tons of books on space travel and I know you probably know more than me now."

It was true. Harry had put his arm around his cousin one day and promised that this summer they would both be standing on the moon. Dudley had begun reading every book in his school library on the subject.

"I will handle Dudley's problems at school later. At the moment, Dudley has discovered that Greg suffers from dyslexia. He showed me Greg's latest homework and it is clear that his spelling is not the issue. He simply gets letters mixed up."

Filius cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Forgive me for asking, Mister Goyle, but Harry, is there any chance that this is simply an 'intelligence' issue?"

"No, Greg can cast spells when I teach them, he just has trouble with reading and writing and attempting to put things in his own words. I don't know much about dyslexia, but I do know that a symptom can be reversal of letters and the like."

"How do you know about it?" Aurora asked.

Harry looked a bit embarrassed. "My primary school teachers thought I might be dyslexic."

"Well, what do you recommend we do?" Filius asked, moving the topic away from Harry's discomfort.

"The Grangers. They are medical professionals and will be able to point us towards someone who might be able to help."

"Muggle methods?" Minerva frowned. "Aren't there any wizarding methods?"

"You're a teacher and you've never heard of it." Harry shrugged. "I guess I could write to Albus and- No! Ember! Not NO-"

Harry vanished in flame.

"Harry should take her out more." Dudley winced. "Maybe then she wouldn't keep… kidnapping him."


Albus had moved on from Italy and was now in Egypt. A very disgruntled Harry had had a brief conversation with a very amused Albus before a very chipper Ember took him back home.

Albus had promised to talk to his contacts in various countries and to learn about dyslexia.

In the meantime the members of Slytherin House had rallied together and now they took turns helping Greg with his homework. With the teachers now aware that Gregory Goyle's abysmal grades were due to something beyond his control, they took this into account when marking his work. He was marked on content as opposed to presentation.

Filius had taken to speaking with Greg between classes and testing his knowledge in lieu of requiring written homework.

Severus had refused to let his student near a cauldron unless he had a suitable partner that could make up for his student's issue. Harry had suggested Hermione would make a good partner as it would also help her learn to communicate information better instead of her normal method of recitation.

Severus didn't care. He was just relieved that he didn't have to keep waiting for the boy to blow them up. He was actually worse than Neville.

But now things were improving. Gregory smiled more often, he also talked a bit more. This had an effect on his best friend, Vincent Crabbe, who also became happier and more verbose.


Once again, things calmed down. The only issue occurred just before Easter when Luna started screaming in her dorm room. Harry was called in because Luna refused to talk to anyone but him… despite the fact that she was ensconced in Doreen's arms.

"They tell me you had a bad dream." Harry said softly as he knelt in front of Luna and Doreen as they sat in an armchair in the Ravenclaw Common Room.

Luna shook her head vigorously but remained mute.

"Can you describe what you saw?"

Luna shuddered and looked away.

"Was it a person?"

She shook her head slowly.

Harry thought for a moment. "Luna, would you mind if I took a copy of your memory so I can see what you saw?"

She gave an apathetic shrug.

"Uncle Fil, could you ask Severus to join us please?"


"What in Merlin's name is that?" Severus was dumbfounded by what he was seeing in the pensive as they viewed Luna's memory.

"Probably a wrackspurt or nargle." Harry shrugged. "It clearly isn't what scared Luna."

Severus looked at him like he was insane. "The girl clearly has mental problems if she is imagining these things."

They were currently looking at some sort of yellow and blue insect. Giant yellow and blue insect. It was at least foot long.

"Ho-ly crap!" Harry said with wide eyes. Poking its head through the walls of Luna's dorm was an actual giant bug. It was like a cross between a leech and a worm. It had a large red opening filled with suckers and its body was mottled green. It filled the entire wall.

"Good Merlin!" Severus nearly screeched.

The memory of Luna suddenly noticed the creature and she began to scream.

"You might be right about the mental problems, Sev. But I don't think the creatures are part of the problem."

"No, because it is completely normal to imagine disgusting monsters that no one else can see." Snape said sarcastically.

"Let me put it to you this way: Could you put a copy of your imagination into a pensive?"

The Potions Master frowned. "Hmm, perhaps you are correct. But that would mean the girl is actually seeing these things and not imagining them… which would mean they actually exist."

"There are more things in heaven and on earth…"


For once in their time as companions, Harry had actually asked Ember to take him to see Albus.

"Albie… you're flaming."

"Harry, that is not appr- oh- oh my!" Albus began patting his beard as he noticed the flames Harry was indicating.

He was hit in the face with a blast of water and began spluttering.

When he caught his breath he sent a withering glare at his student. "I had it under control." He said tetchily.

"Fire retardant charm?" Harry asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You used a fire retardant charm."

"Ah… I suppose that would have been prudent." Albus admitted somewhat chagrined as he looked down at the glass containing the flaming topped beverage that had been the culprit of his Flaming Facial.

"Moron." Harry muttered as he sat down at the table in what appeared to be a restaurant, the other patrons were laughing at the spectacle. "So, where are we now?"

"New Zealand. Can I interest you in a Kiwi Cup?" Albus had a small smirk as he indicated the fiery beverage.

"I'll pass." Harry would never understand wiggles and their ridiculous obsession with things that could kill them.

He ignored the fact that he was attempting to travel to the moon.

"I've got another problem with a student, but this is a little more serious than helping with the Three R's."

"Three R's?"

"Reading, Writing and Arithmetic."

Albus frowned. "Arithmetic starts with an 'a'."

"Considering the wiggle world doesn't teach any of them as a matter of basics, I don't think you get to comment." Harry said blandly.

Albus sighed. "Must you continue to use that word?"

"I'll stop saying 'wiggle' when wiggles stop saying muggle." Harry grinned.

"What is your student's problem?" Albus changed the subject uncomfortably.

"Luna Lovegood can see things we cannot. We all thought she was talking about fantasies she created… then she woke half the castle with screaming. I looked at her memory with Sev and she was not imagining them."

"You are referring to the creatures that her father writes about in the Quibbler?" Albus frowned.

Harry nodded. "I went back over a few editions that Luna pointed out and they describe what she sees perfectly. But her dad can't see them. He just believes her."

"And some of these creatures are… terrifying enough that they are now becoming a problem for Miss Lovegood." Albus sighed.

"I think she's suffered enough having spent her life with this ability." Harry said seriously. "Especially as she has been scorned and ridiculed as a result.

"I need a way to either supress her ability or grant it to others. I was hoping you might know some people who know something about this."

Albus stroked his beard thoughtfully. "As of this moment, no. But, let me talk to some friends. We will discuss the situation and get back to you."

"Thanks, after her scary encounter I've had to ask Padma to keep a closer eye on her. It's not fair to Padma but she is willing."

Harry placed a small wooden box on the table. "These are vials of Luna's memories of various creatures. There is a small book which has a few notes from Luna."

Albus took the box and tucked it in his robe. "Is everything else going well at the school?" He asked conversationally.

"Sure, Greg is coping with his literacy issues, and he has a lot of support from the staff and students. Some of the Ravenclaws have started making tests for him so they can try and get an accurate picture of how he sees things. They keep chucking Dudley back into London or Glasgow to get more books on the subject."

Albus chuckled at the grumpy young lord. "And have you finalised your plans for this summer's excursion? I would gladly offer my services again but there are some big events occurring this coming school year and I will need to be available to deal with them."

"The Quidditch World Cup and the Triwizard Tournament." Harry sighed.

Albus was shocked. Everyone knew about the QWC, but the Triwizard Tournament was only known to himself and his fellow school heads. He had approached them and gotten an agreement and promise to approach their government heads.

That was merely a courtesy though.

"And how do you know about that?" Albus asked sternly.

Harry looked at him and waggled his eyebrows with a mischievous smile. "Considering you didn't ask if you could hold a potentially life threatening event at my home… I think I'll keep that titbit to myself.

"So, how's Draco?" He asked before Albus could press.

Albus just huffed at the dismissal before he sighed. "Draco is currently residing with some individuals in Australia."

Harry frowned. "You do realise that although I gave you some authority over him, you do have to check with me if you want to let him stay with friends. I am technically his guardian."

"They aren't… 'friends'… per say." Albus said uncomfortably.

Harry looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I think you had better start talking… and quickly."

Albus sighed resignedly. "Draco is currently saying at the Melbourne Home for Boys."

"He doesn't have a wand and he wouldn't survive in a non-magical place without getting everyone obliviated because he couldn't keep his trap shut." Harry reasoned.

"It is a wig- Magical home." Albus glared as Harry grinned at his slip up. "It is a school for children who… are not ready for civilised society."

Albus really hated that smug look on Harry's face. "I had no choice!" He said defensively. "The boy wouldn't listen to me or anyone else. He kept trying to steal people's wands!"

Harry gave a pleased sigh. "Oh Albie. You've made my day. Let me know when you get some word on Luna's situation. Ember." Albus glared as boy and Phoenix flamed out.

He picked up his glass and downed it quickly.

He was hit in the face with another blast of water.

He looked at the middle-aged man at the table opposite who had his wand pointed at him.

"The kid did warn you about the flames."

Albus looked down… for the first time in his life he had black hair… it didn't smell good.


Harry Potter slumped back into his chair slightly out of breath.

"No luck?"

Harry turned to his Uncle Frank (Who's translator now had his own voice). Harry had been using his fledgling skills at legilimancy to try and learn more about Alice's condition.

To Frank's left was Neville, to his right was Augusta… who still took every opportunity to glare at him.

"I think she's hidden all her memories." Harry frowned as he reached for his drink. "She only has one memory and one real association: Neville."

"Me?!"

Harry smiled at him softly. "In her darkest hour, when she knew she was about to die, her only thoughts were for her son and his happiness. It's why she always approaches you."

"And you can't find the memories?" Frank asked.

"I'll have to get Severus, and possibly Albus, to check, but I think she has pretty much set up a form of occlumancy. She is using her memory of Neville to hide everything else.

"I might need to see if there are better methods of accessing the mind."

"I do not approve of allowing that... 'man' anywhere near my daughter-in-law." Augusta said stiffly.

"Lucky for Alice, it's not up to you." Harry and Augusta just couldn't help antagonising each other.

"Oh dear!"

Harry turned to see Albus standing behind him with Ember bouncing happily on his shoulder.

"You are a bloody menace!" Harry glared at Ember.

Albus looked at Harry with a gimlet eye. "You do realise that the young tend to take on the traits of others, especially in magical companions and familiars."

"So, what? Does that mean Ember is taking after the girls?" Harry scowled.

"Erm… Harry… I think he means you." Neville whispered loudly and nervously.

"Huh?" Harry said in confusion.

"The Headmaster is saying that you are the reason for the Phoenix's eccentric ways!" Augusta snapped in irritation.

"Nuh uh!" Harry shook his head in vigorous denial. "If anyone is corrupting her it's Nicky!"

"Grow up and take responsibility for your mischief, Harry." Frank stated. It was lucky that Harry had refined the translator so that Frank could convey an element of emotion.

Harry pouted at Frank's teasing voice. "Albie, just try and see if you can find any of Alice's memories, will you."

"Well I never! Such utter disrespect!" Augusta began to build up steam.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone jumped, including Alice.

Maybe adding the ability to shout was something he shouldn't have given Frank.

"I have had it with your bickering." Frank stated. "Mother, Harry has done more for this family than anyone in the history of the Longbottom family.

"I am aware of all that the Headmaster has done to try and help us, but Harry is the one who has saved me and likely is our best hope for saving Alice.

"You disgrace the name of Longbottom with your constant belittling of Lord Slytherin.

"And Harry… grow up. Stop rising to her taunts and stop throwing them at her yourself."

"Sorry Uncle Frank."

"And don't pull that malarkey on me."

Harry moved from timid school boy to pouty teenager.

"I certainly look forward to my return this coming year." Albus chuckled. "Harry, I will take a look at Alice now, would you mind if I stayed a while after to talk with Frank? I would have come earlier but… you exiled me."

"Mother." Frank's warning voice caused the two to look at Augusta who was about to comment on that.

"Sure, I'll make myself scarce. Just let me know what you find?"

"Of course."


Harry just sighed as Ember appeared on his shoulder and flamed out with him. She just seemed to have no impulse control.

Of course, he didn't have long to ponder this fact before he realised that he was staring at a standing and smiling Frank Longbottom.

"Hey son." Frank croaked with a voice that hadn't been used for more than a decade as it became clearer to Harry that he was only standing with Neville's help… who was also smiling.

"You found a way out!" Harry said with a look of shock.

"Actually, it was Albus." He nodded to the old man in a conjured armchair.

"How'd you do it?" Harry asked excitedly. "Can we use it on Aunty Alice?"

Albus smiled gently. "I merely followed your lead. I searched for Alice, but like you discovered, she has hidden her memories.

"Frank allowed me to enter his mind. I was able to go deep enough in his memories to pull wisps from his childhood. Memories of learning to walk and talk. From there I pulled them to the forefront and forced Frank to experience only those memories. For a few moments he was much like Alice. Hidden behind a few memories."

"So you tricked him into think he was a toddler, a toddler who wanted to walk and talk like his parents." Harry nodded.

"Yes, essentially. It is a little trickier and not something I suggest you try yet." Albus warned with a nod to Alice who was sitting on the sofa next to a beaming Augusta. Alice was still her semi-detached self.

"Did you have any luck with Alice?" Harry asked with troubled look.

"None, aside from confirming your own theory." Albus shook his head. "But that should be enough to get me started on new investigations."