The next morning had your mind going over every possible bad outcome the mission could have. The mission was easy: extract information from their system while Steve incapacitated anyone trying to get to you, Sam and Vision would control anything in the air, and Bucky and Wanda were backup. You prayed you were not to need them, that Steve could handle what you hoped was a small amount of HYDRA agents. But that was not the only thing that had your mind occupied. You hadn't been able to sleep right nor look at Bucky in the eye.
Flashback
"We need to talk."
"About what?" you noticed at how bothered he looked, "are you okay?"
He took a long breath and pointed toward the elevator as he walked in silence. You just frowned but followed him. Neither of you spoke a word until he had finally taken a seat on one of the lounge chairs by the outdoor pool.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" you said breaking the silence of the night. You turned your attention from the calm water of the pool to see Bucky looking at you with no real expression on his face.
"Do you remember anything from when you were a kid? The lab?" he asked. It didn't go unnoticed how he held back from cringing at the last question.
You tilted your head to the side as the question struck you as weird, of course, you did. He knew the nightmares you had involving him.
"You know I do. It was awful what they did to you and I still regret that I was never able to keep you safe by the time I understood what they were doing to you," you said as you turned your body toward his and took his metallic hand in yours.
Bucky looked down to see your hands wrap around his metal one, and he shook his head before looking up to see your soft eyes on him.
"That's not what I meant." The soft stroking you had been doing stopped. Bucky saw how your eyes seemed to roam all around, but he knew you were thinking too fast. And somehow he knew you knew what he was asking. His warm hand now joined yours atop his metal one.
"I had one of those weird flashbacks when you and Steve were investigating earlier. That's why I was dazed. I remembered what they did to you, and how I couldn't do anything. The years the torture went on, the stuff they did and put in you. But then it stopped when you were thirteen, it just vanished leaving no trace for them to find."
Your eyes were unfocused as he only looked at you, his hands now wrapped around your trembling ones.
As he spoke your mind brought images of the horrors he'd seen but you saw it from the other perspective—the one where you felt it all. The shivers that overcame your body at the screams of pain, the fear you felt when it was announced that they were going to be doing more tests, more prep, more digging around. It all had soon ended one day without explanation but that had been the best thing in your life as it had stopped them from experimenting the minute they noticed that nothing was happening. You had taken the harsher and more dangerous trainings like a gift because as much as you knew they had done it in hopes those powers were going to come back, you'd rather die during those trainings than go through the doors of that lab one more time.
End flashback
It had taken only twenty minutes to arrive at the building after having checked out and get things in the quinjet.
"Alright, the goal is to go in and come out within the hour. Y/n, can you work with that?" Steve asked as he clipped on his mask.
"Depends how much initial coding I have to do. Shouldn't take more than ten if they've managed to have an upper hand from their last system that Romanoff hacked. From there is all downloading. We'll get out with time to spare," you said as you adjusted your hair.
"Good," Steve nodded, "Sam, Vision, I want eyes around the building. No one comes in or out unless is us. Buck, Wanda you'll stay out. Be ready for anything,"
No sooner had Steve finished, you found yourself walking down the tunnel you and Steve had found. It seemed like no one had gone down since last time, but didn't take it for granted. You walked behind Steve as he walked in first, shield ready for any bullets coming his way.
It seemed the mission was going to be easy as only a dozen of HYDRA agents had come to say their hellos to you and Steve. It was easy to put them down, and even easier to break into their system.
"Download is almost done; ten minutes top and we're gone." As soon as those words had come out of your mouth, a wall near where Steve had decided to stand to keep an eye out blew up revealing about two dozen of soldiers and four guys with big guns.
"Steve! Y/n!" ranged the voice of Bucky as the sounds of shots being fired came through the earpiece. "We're going in!"
You hadn't registered what he'd said as you grabbed your gun and started to shoot your way toward Steve while making sure they didn't destroy the computers.
Steve managed to get back up before anyone could lay a finger on him, knocking out soldiers faster than you put down the ones aiming their guns at you.
By the time Steve had taken down two of the big guys, Bucky and Wanda came through.
The distraction of their arrival had been enough to get yourself two bullet wounds on your shoulder as the gun you had run out of ammunition.
"Fucker," you groaned as you ran behind containers. You grabbed a long pipe grinning to yourself, "I'm so going to enjoy myself."
You got up and soon you were flawlessly knocking soldiers down. It felt natural the way you handled the pipe now turned weapon. And with a pipe in hand, you made your way back to the computer as the last of the soldiers hit the ground with a groan. You looked at the screen which told you the download was now complete.
"Steve, download is complete," you said as you now destroyed their system with some quick coding from your part.
"Alright," he nodded his head as he let out a heavy sigh. He turned to look at the knocked-out people on the floor. "Vision, do we know how they got here?"
"It seems they were already in the building, Captain."
You joined Wanda who was now looking at the people on the floor, she looked at them as if she hadn't paid much attention as to who they were before now. And she was not the only one; Bucky was dragging the ones further apart in case one decided to run for it, but you noticed how he eyed one of the bigger guys with curiosity.
It seemed like you weren't the only one who saw it as Steve looked at you before he approached his best friend. "Buck, you good?"
"These people," he spoke in a low whisper as he pointed around, his eyes never leaving the frames of the soldiers.
As if understanding where this was going, Wanda stopped herself from saying anything but made a stance to fight.
"Buck." Steve didn't know what to do as his best friend seemed to realize what was going on.
"HYDRA." You saw it clear as day, his whole body went rigid at the word. Steve failed to see the way his friend had seized any movements, so he didn't expect to be grabbed by the throat and thrown across the room.
"Bucky, stop!" He ignored you as he approached Wanda. She threw things at him, but he easily evaded them but grabbed the pipe you had used when Wanda had tried to throw it at him. Before he could strike her with it, Wanda used her powers to grab him and throw him to the nearest wall hoping to knock him unconscious. It worked as he collapsed to the floor face down.
You and Wanda ran toward Steve who was now waking from his spot on the floor. You saw the trail of blood coming from the back of his head. "You're bleeding. Are you okay?"
The question went unanswered as the sound of Wanda being thrown to a wall caused you to turn around. It didn't knock her out, and it seemed the Winter Soldier didn't like that as he now went for his knives. She easily dogged them with her own magic, but it only seemed to make him angrier as he now charged toward her and before you could find a working gun, he had accomplished his goal to knock her out. And he wasted no time to turned around and charged toward you. Steve seemed to be failing to get a hold of himself, still groaning in pain as he tried to get up.
You stood up knowing this fight was going to be hand to hand as he had run out of weapons just like you, but what he said next shocked you.
"Я вижу, вы перешли на другую сторону," he said as he stopped a couple of feet away from you.
"I did not turn sides. I never had a say on that," you tried to not show how his words were getting to you.
It seemed your answer had bored him as his next move was to throw a punch your way. You dodged it with a yelp at the abrupt movement. As he went for another, you grabbed his fist as your own connected with his jaw. And just like that, something clicked in you. Like some weird lucid dream, all the trainings you had undergone as a child with him flashed in your mind in cut frames.
The whole thing had startled you, so you didn't notice that the Winter Soldier had gone to punch you. It knocked you to the ground, and before you could catch your breath his metal hand wrapped around your throat. Your hands went to wrap around his metallic wrist, and you couldn't help but look at him with so much fear in hopes it will wake him up from his state.
"Plea-se, Buck," you gasped for air, trying, and failing to flip him over. You were hurting physically and mentally. In all those years of training, you had never felt such fear as you did now, but it seemed your body couldn't hold for much longer, and soon you wouldn't feel at all. And when you started to see black dots all over, a weird heat wave overcame you and you knew something was happening. And so, did the man that now out of shock had loosen his grip just a midge; he hadn't expected your eyes to turn black. And before he could react properly to what he knew was to come, a bright wave of dark purple light exploded out of your body.
(…)
The ventilation of the hospital wing was loud back at the Avengers headquarters as it was partially empty. Wanda, Steve, and you were being checked and/or cleaned up from the day's events. You were still unconscious, no sign of waking since the purple light blasted from your weak body. Vision and Sam had managed to get into the battlefield in time to see Bucky fly across the room and getting knocked out cold. Sam had to report back to Fury while Vision carried the unconscious people to the quinjet. By the time they had entered the states, Steve and Wanda had woken up with headaches. Steve managed to feel normal pretty soon after, with some ringing in his ears and slight migraine, while Wanda still felt sick and dizzy. Once at the Avengers Tower, Sam and Vision had insisted on having Steve checked as well with everyone else, but he wanted to see if Bucky was fine, whether his friend was back to being himself or not. But nevertheless, Bruce, Natasha, and Tony had practically forced him into the doctor's lab, right next to your unconscious form.
With a soft groan you woke up, your ears picked up the faint voices of what you recognized to be Bruce and the head doctor of the building talking amongst themselves.
"She will be fine, just a mild concussion due to her hitting the floor, the bullet wounds were not deep enough to cause much damage, and some bruising around the neck. It will fade with time, but she might have trouble eating, drinking, and talking for a couple of days if she wakes up before she heals."
At the Doctor's words, your mind immediately proceeded to access the pain around your neck, not to mention the headache that you felt coming. But you stayed quiet as another voice interrupted Bruce and the Doctor.
"Am I clear? Can I see Bucky now?" Steve's voice made you frown as he sounded annoyed. You guessed it was because he knew he didn't need to be there as he healed faster than most.
"Yes, you are free to go, Mr. Rogers," said the Doctor but he spoke once more, "but you can't see Mr. Barnes. He is intensive care, it seems as if he was thrown around because he is bruised all over, a concussion, four broken ribs, a pierced lung, and his normal arm suffered from a dislocated shoulder. Do you know how it happened?"
Steve proceeded to tell what he managed to witness from the very beginning to when he flipped personas and almost killed everyone. He mentioned that he tried to help you, but he could even stand and before he passed out he saw a blast of a light purple overcome the room.
The whole room was quiet, and you could feel eyes on you. The talk about newfound powers had been a surprise, but given your history of never presenting signs of any type of mutation in your blood during routine checks, it was as shocking to them as it had been to you.
"We'll have to see about that purple light later, right now the main concern is Barnes. Now we know how easily he can get triggered, we need to find what it is before he kills everyone," said Tony, breaking the silence the room had held.
"It's not his fault," Steve's voice sounded defensive and angered, "HYDRA did this to him. We need to help him not mark him as a threat and lock him up."
"No one is doing that, Steve, but we need to be precautious." Natasha had interrupted any possible fight amongst Steve and Tony as the two of them tended to butt heads at almost anything, and Bucky was a touchy subject as Tony still didn't trust the man to save his life.
Silence followed Natasha's words, and no one dared to speak again for the rest of the day about what had happened. It wasn't until you had regained full consciousness and was clear of any dangers that you were clear to go back to your room.
It was dusty. Haven't been lived in, your room's stale air made you cough. Your throat was still a little sore and bruised but it still bothered you at times. You made your way to your bathroom, and walking toward the mirror you looked at yourself for the first time in weeks. You looked like crap: eyes slightly red, bags under them even if you had slept endlessly, your face looked caked with stress, and your neck was now fading into a light-ish blue and green. Taking off your clothes, you inspected every inch of your body, you failed to find any bruising and the bullet wounds were now mostly healed, but now the scars that once had no story held a once forgotten meaning.
Getting into the shower you turned the water into a warm setting. At once the water cascaded over your tired body. Softly groaning at the sensation of the water running down your head, you closed your eyes letting the sound of the water and your breathing fill your mind whilst your forehead rested on the cold shower wall. Your thoughts ran wild as you remembered what had happened during the last mission. What happened to you?
And as if you had finally achieved some sort of enlightenment, your head started to hurt making you drop to your knees as you groaned in pain. Memories that hadn't been unlocked during the fight were now being unlocked and downloaded into your consciousness so fast you thought it impossible to see them all, but you did. Every single one of them presented to you as a short film. Everything was Bucky, but it was so much different from those memories you had already unlocked. These ones were intimate in your mind, so buried within you it hurt to get them out. Every memory came with its promised smell, touch, sound, and taste. The smell of a cold morning in the woods where Bucky would train with you, the touch of his body whenever he grabbed you from behind or taught you how to hold yourself for a good punch, the sound of his raspy voice in the morning telling you to get ready before you could complain about waking you up, and the taste of that stolen kiss before he had been taken away for the last time you saw him. The latter had been a week before the explosion that had gone off on your sector by a faulty detonator.
It stopped. You were back in the shower, but you knew you never left it. You could feel the water again, and it took all your willpower to finish that shower before you sought the comfort of your bed.
(…)
It all had been too much for you and sleep came fast, but it didn't last long. You woke up around two in the morning, your body having had enough. It was sure to mess up your sleeping schedule for the next few days if not weeks, but it was futile to dwell on that.
You glanced around the dark room, your mind surprisingly quiet this time around. You bit your lip as one single uncalled-for thought crossed your mind. Bucky.
Was it wrong of you to be thinking of the man who had almost killed you had it not been for your powers manifesting themselves? Was it so wrong to think how you wouldn't mind having his body be on top of yours in different circumstances? Was it wrong to hope for that same murderous arm's hand to wrap around your neck while he did naughty things to you? Bury himself deep within you as he groaned and whimpered for you. Was it wrong?
It seemed like the answer was no. Your hands were roaming your body, but there was more than just your hands aiding you. Your unaware mind was using its power to make pressure on your stiff clit.
Any type of sound that wanted out of you couldn't do that as your pained throat failed to let them out. But you didn't care, you felt good, and you wouldn't stop. And you didn't. But you needed more. With your eyes still closed, you grabbed the purple dildo that hid on your nightstand. Pulling down your undies, you were left with the baggie shirt that covered you whole. You shimmied to a comfortable position and tried to discover if you could do some magic trick for your own naughty gain. You concentrated on the dildo that laid motionless between your parted legs, allowing the cool air to touch the wetness that had formed.
It took you a couple of tries before you felt the tip rub your entrance making you squirm. And so, the game started. You went back to the thought of Bucky. The way you hoped he would hover over you, his cold metal arm would tease your nipples making them hard in a second, his mouth on your neck would trail soft and harsh kisses letting you know you are his while you are damn aware that his intention is to trail kisses down your chest before letting his metal hand wrap around your neck. It would not be a tight grip, but the pressure would have you gushing wetness in seconds. A smirk would cross his lips as you would moan his name.
The dildo was now thrusting into you in harsh, slow, deep thrusts that had you rolling your eyes back. Even though your throat hurt a bit, you were now letting soft, gasped sounds out of you. It felt too good, there was a warmth on top of you and you swore your mind as it was remembering the way he had hovered that day on top of you.
His thrusts would be unforgiving, they would cause you to forget how to speak, and lord have mercy if he chose to speed up. You thought of him as a person who would grunt as he neared his end, definitely letting his cock ram so deep into you that your legs would not wrap around his waist, no, they would spread even more because he would do the same to let himself bury his whole dick as he told you how much he loved how you made him feel, and he would ask how good you were feeling knowing damn well the only thing in your clouded mind was the need to cum around his cock. And you would as your back arched and legs tried to wrap around him, nails would dig on his back—you would make sure to apologize afterward, but maybe he's into that—and then you would hear his whimpers as he would cum inside you, letting you feel how good you had treated him.
The dildo dropped motionless on the bed, making a mess on the sheets. You came the way you had thought, back arched, legs clenched, but your hands only clawed your chest instead of his back.
It had taken you minutes before you cleaned yourself, change sheets, and put the dildo away. But the latter didn't make it past being put next to your phone as you passed out for the night.
(…)
The next morning, you woke up later than you were used to. There was no need to look at how late it was as Steve's worried voice came from the opening door. You peeped an eye open to see him visibly relax at you.
"Good God, I thought you were dead, you weren't answering your phone, "he said looking at you when he saw your eye open looking at him. But before he could say another thing, his eyes landed on the thing that stood next to your dead phone. You saw a blush come over his pale cheeks, which only confused your still sleepy head.
"Why are you blushing?" you asked as you followed his gaze and that's when you noticed the elephant in the room. Shit, well, that's on me.
"O…kay, I'll leave and pretend this never happened." Steve turned around faster than you could blink, but before he could leave, you leaped out of bed and stopped him.
"Wait, don't leave. Sorry, you had to see that, but if you tell anyone I will kill you," you said with the best of your ability and seriousness, but you couldn't help the laugh that escaped you.
"Why are you laughing?" Steve looked at you with a smile on his face. He was glad you were smiling, and he guessed other things. It meant you were going to be okay. After a couple of seconds, Steve started to laugh as well as he saw that you were now containing giggles as you hurried to put the offending object away.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scar your innocent mind," you said as you wiped a rogue tear.
"You make it sound like I don't know what a sex toy is. I was just surprised to see it there, and all purple," he said in a bashful way, but then he smirked in a way that sent shivers down your body, "but I could definitely use this as blackmail material. Y/n, the proud owner of a purple dildo."
"Captain America—" you gasped up to him, "—Steve 'goody two shoes' Rogers is telling me that he is going to use blackmail, and involves a dildo? Someone call the press; this man has definitely been deceiving us all with his stoic and chivalry façade."
Steve gave a sarcastic laugh before finally remembering why he came to your room in the first place.
"Well, enough with laughs and jokes, you need to get ready. Bucky's been up for a couple of days now, and he's been asking for you. He wasn't allowed to go see you, but we think he's ready." He looked serious compared to minutes ago, but he still held a comforting smile as he seemed to try to calm any fear within you.
"He remembers what happened and wants to talk to you. He's been bugging me and Tony to take you to him once you were awake and standing."
"Alright, I'll be ready in 5. You can tell Bucky I'll talk to him," you said before you headed toward your bathroom letting Steve walk himself out.
"Oh, and Y/N?" Steve was behind you as you put your toothbrush in your mouth. You mumbled a 'yeah' as you looked at him through the mirror.
"You better clean up the evidence. I'm pretty sure those panties on the floor have been looking at me since I walked in," Steve said as he pointed at the obvious pair of underwear you had on last night. The clear evidence of the reason they were taken of had dried on the dark set. His confident strut to having the upper hand you blushing, and couldn't help but notice the smirk on his now teasing face.
