Blair stood, soaked, in front of the Archibald's door, pressing the doorbell. When the door swung open, she didn't even glance at who was standing there and instead blurted out, "I just broke up with Dan and I need vodka and a friend."
"And I'll have a glass of white wine, please," Blair said, propping the drink menu up on the counter. "House is fine."
Dan raised his eyebrows, "House? Blair Waldorf getting house wine? Look at that."
"Funny. I just didn't feel like reading the list."
They were at a bar near Dan's apartment. It was small and dark and the type of establishment that Blair usually went out of her way to avoid. However, it was close by and she had been holed up in her apartment for the better part of the last month trying to finish up the next in her series as well as figure out what stories she wanted to include in her memoir. They were being published together in a couple of months as her publisher was trying to get people to buy them as a package. She would have gone to any bar just to get out of the house.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile," Dan said, his hand resting on the back of Blair's chair. "Between your book tour and working on your books. I miss you," he said, nuzzling his forehead into her shoulder.
Blair rested her cheek on the top of his head until the bartender came back, setting their drinks in front of them. "I know, I feel like I haven't had time to breath lately. It's almost done though. One more week until my deadline and I think I'm quite close to finishing everything."
"I thought your memoir was done around Christmas. Did I get an incomplete copy?"
Blair laughed, "No, it was complete, but things happen. I wanted to change things. It was such a heavy focus on my relationship with Chuck and I'm over that. I'm sick of writing about him."
"So what did you put in there instead?"
"New beginnings," she said, turning her head to him. "I just expanded more on my family and wrote about bad choices and kept in some writings about him. I wanted girls to read it and look at it and say that that's not a relationship they want. I also may have added a chapter about fresh starts and not letting first judgements get in the way of happiness."
Dan nodded, taking a sip of his beer. "Sounds like I'll be making more of a feature appearance than a cameo."
"Ha ha," she said, rolling her eyes. "You might be in there more but I tried to just do some general tips. I'm not kidding myself on who I think is going to pick it up, so I want girls to look at it and get good ideas. It's hard being a role model," she said, pouting slightly. "It was easier when my publisher wanted me to stay out of the public eye as much as possible."
"I don't think that's happening as you seem to go to every charity event ever and get in Page 6."
"It's not my fault that I am very photogenic," she said, pressing her knuckles into his arm. "I usually have a very handsome date next to me."
"Yes," he nodded. "I believe they say 'Unidentified Male Companion' on the caption."
"Well, would you like to be identified?" Blair asked. "I can get my publisher to call in and give them your name."
"No, no," Dan said, laughing. He moved his hand from his glass to his pocket where he pulled out a small box. "I was thinking about when the right time to give this to you was over the last month but since you've become a hermit, better give it to you now before I don't see you again for a month." He passed the box on the bar to Blair, who stared at it. "It's not anything special, Blair. Don't get your hopes up."
She nodded slightly before opening the cover of the box to see a key. She held it up between her index and thumb finger. "What is this? I already have a key to the bookstore. Did you already forget that I'm part of your friend and family discount?"
"It's not to my bookstore," he said, tracing his finger in the condensation of his bottle. "It's to my apartment."
Blair nodded, "Right."
"I just figured it might be easier than having to buzz you in every time you come over. It's really pure laziness on my part."
Blair was speechless, flipping the key back and forth in her palm. It was early September so they had been dating a little over six months and yet she hadn't been prepared for the exchange of keys. Her stomach was in knots as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. "Thank you?" she said, pressing the key in her palm. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"
"I mean, you might find me with my other girlfriend one day, but it's a chance I'll take."
"I just meant in general. Is it not too early for this?"
"It's just a key, Blair. You don't have to use it. I just, I don't know. I thought you could get some use out of it or at least have it in case of an emergency."
"Like my apartment burning down?" she asked, staring at the key still. "Don't you think it's a little soon?"
Dan shrugged, "I'm not asking you to move in or for an exchange-"
Dan was cut off as Blair spotted Chuck Bass entering the bar with a blonde on his arm. "Chuck?" she asked, waving him over. Blair was pressing her luck with this one. Although Dan hadn't made any restrictions of her hanging out with him, she could see him visibly tense up as he took the box from the table and slipped it back in his pocket. Blair still had the key in her palm. "What are you doing here?" she said, standing to give Chuck a kiss on the cheek. "Isn't it a little out of your way?"
"Natasha lives near by and suggested it. Blair, this is Natasha. Natasha, this is Blair." Chuck ignored Dan who was doing his best to keep his eyes straight ahead on the bartender and not turn around.
"Why don't you guys sit down with us," Blair said, as she shook the blonde's hand. "We were just grabbing a drink. It would be nice to have company."
"Blair," Dan said, turning his head to her and furrowing his brow.
"Oh, right. This is my boyfriend, Dan," she said, ignoring what he was trying to convey in his message. Dan shook Natasha's hand and nodded in Chuck's general direction.
Chuck took the seat next to Blair and Blair turned her back slightly on Dan as she immersed herself in a conversation with the two of them. They talked about where Chuck and Natasha had met (his hotel) and what she did (advertising) and where she was from (Florida) before Blair heard shuffling behind her. Dan was standing up when she turned around and she widened her eyes, "Where are you going?"
"Home," he said plainly, putting money on the bar and walking out of the bar.
Blair turned to Chuck and Natasha, "I'll be right back." When she got out of the bar, she could see Dan's silhouette walking in the slight distance. "Dan!" she called, and watched as he turned around and stepped towards her. Blair could feel a few stray raindrops on her head and looked up to the sky which had turned from a nice sunset to dark and threatening. A late summer thunderstorm was on its way.
"Blair, I just want to go home."
"I thought we were getting drinks."
"We were until Chuck and his date came and you invited them to our date."
"I was just catching up with a friend," she countered. "You were being rude."
"I was being rude? Chuck pretended he didn't notice me and then you turned your back. Yeah, I was the one being rude." Dan covered his head with his hands, trying to shield himself from the rain. "I don't want to do this here."
"Do what?" Blair asked, standing under the awning of the bar.
"Argue about this. Argue about the fact that anytime you don't want to talk about something, you find a way to ignore it and avoid it."
"I didn't plan for Chuck to come in," she protested.
"Even if he didn't come in," Dan started as he started to walk towards her to stand under the awning to avoid the rain, "you would have changed the subject. You do it every time. You avoid things."
"I just wasn't ready for that," she argued. "It took me by surprise."
"It's a key, Blair. It's not a ring or me asking you to move in, it's just to make things easier."
"It makes things complicated."
"What's complicated about it?" he said, his voice slightly rising. "It's a key to my apartment. We've been together for six months. It's not like we are just casually hooking up and I'm trying to move past that. We're in a relationship. I love you."
"I think this is moving too fast," she blurted out. She instantly regretted it, knew she didn't mean it, but she made no comment to take it back. It was what she did best, self destruct and self preserve.
Dan shrugged, putting his hands in his pocket and leaning on his toes. "What are you saying, Blair?"
"I don't know," she said softly. "I don't know."
"What do you want, Blair?"
"I think I just need to be alone, Dan," she said, biting her lip. "I think I just need some time."
"Are we breaking up?" Dan looked hurt and Blair wanted to reach out and comfort him, even though she knew she was the one delivering the blows. She had felt herself spiraling for the last month quietly and it was all coming to a head. Once she was on the path, she couldn't get off of if.
Blair shrugged, looking down at her feet. "Maybe?"
"Okay," he said, giving one nod before turning around. "Okay, if that's what you want, that's fine."
Blair watched him go, swearing under her breath to herself. She didn't know why she couldn't let herself be happy, why she couldn't let herself just enjoy the ride. She had gone through every situation she could think of in her mind with Dan and all of them ended with their relationship going up in flames and now she could be the one to say she had driven them to the fire. At least she was the one who made the ultimate call, she told herself. At least she was the one who did the breaking up with intend of the one being broken up with.
But, she thought to herself, if that was the case then why did it feel like her heart was breaking?
"Blair?" Nate said, opening the door to his and Serena's apartment. "Serena's not here. She's out with her mom and Ava for the night for dinner."
"Can I come in?' she asked, rain falling on her head.
Nate looked behind him and then looked at Blair again, "I actually have someone over."
Blair tried to strain her neck to look around him and then looked at Nate again. "Who?"
"A friend," he said awkwardly, as he tried to close the door so there was only space for him. "No one you know."
"Let me in, Archibald. If you're cheating on Serena, I'll kill you," she said, pushing him out of the way and letting the rage she felt take over for the pain she had been feeling. "Hello?" she called, hearing noises come from the living room.
Nate reached for her arm but she just pulled him along, "I'm not cheating, Blair. I just think you should go."
"Archibald, I just accidentally broke up with the one person who really understood and loved me because I'm an idiot. This is at least distracting me." Nate let her arm go, not even bothering to follow her. "Hello?" she called again before turning in to the living room.
"Blair," Nate tried to protest feebly as she took in who was in the room.
"Dan?" she said, standing in the doorway and seeing her equally soaked (ex) boyfriend sitting on the Archibald's couch.
