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Chapter 1: A New Start.
CPOV
Screeching of the alarm clock bought me out of my deep sleep. The continuous beep with the combination high pitch squeal from the next room, told me I needed to get my lazy ass out of bed. Finally rolling to my side and looking at the clock it was 5am on the dot. Right on time I could hear Alice in the next room rattling on the cot bars.
As I made my dizzy, stumbling ass to the bathroom I continued to hear Alice becoming more impatient. I knew if I did not get a move on she would start screaming the place down at the thought of not having my attention. Finally doing my business; I made my way though the joining door to my bedroom to the nursery. When Alice was born I had the help of my sister to remodel a few bits in the house.
Having Alice close made it easier for me with her high demands for my attention. Seriously that baby could be so demanding but as soon as I see her baby blues, she knows I will lose every time to her.
Daddy - 0
Alice - 1
Walking into the nursery I find Alice looking up at me, I could see the start of the tears making the way down her cheeks. This was almost like watching a nuclear bomb going off. I knew any second now the high pitch crying and wailing would start. I have no idea where this girl gets the vocal cords.
Alice has almost been in my life for exactly a year next week. How the poor thing has lasted with me as her dad, I really have no idea. The amount of mistakes I have made! But still, here we are, both stuck with each other.
I am so biased but Alice is beautiful, the perfect mix of me and her mother. People say she looks more like me than Tanya. But I disagree, Alice has my eyes and nose, with a deep rich mix of brown/ blonde hair forming, she gets that from Tanya.
This past year for me has been incredible, I do not think there is a better feeling than seeing your baby for the first time. I thought when Alice was born Tanya would change her mind and want to help me raise Alice, but to no avail. Tanya lasted all of four hours in the hospital before she signed her rights away to me. As much as I hate Tanya for walking out on me and Alice; I still could never regret this beautiful child of mine. I would always be grateful to her for that.
As I stepped closer to the cot I could see her lip beginning to wobble. She was kneeling with her hands gripping onto the bars for dear life. She was not going to be easy this morning. Alice and mornings should not be used in the same sentence. "Hey Ali-cat, no need for the tears, Daddies here." I reached into the cot and I could see her trying to pull herself into the standing position. She still had not quiet mastered the kneeing to stand. There was no doubt in my mind she would be walking soon.
As soon as she noticed me I got the signature squeal that felt like it could burst ear drums. She pulled her tiny hands to my wrists and tried to climb up onto me. It was like the crying never happened, this girl will defiantly have a wild streak. I could almost envision the future with Alice. Pulling her into my chest, she tucked her head into my shoulder. If she had not been so close I would not of heard her gurgle and small "dada" slip from her mouth. It was the only significant thing she had learnt to say.
In some cases Alice's verbal communication has taken a while to develop as well as her motor skills. Next week I was starting to put her in a day nursery three times a week to build on her social skills. At this point I do not really need too, my two sisters were more than happy to take Alice but she really needed to start getting the benefits of being around others. My new promotion was in place at the hospital. I do not really have the time to take her to baby classes as much as I wanted to. The nursery would help balance that out.
"Come on baby girl lets get you some breakfast." I picked Alice up from her cot and took her to the changing mat and got her ready for the day. One thing I have learnt with much practice, is you can not take you eyes of this girl. Leave her for more than a second she will of pulled her nappy off. All contents everywhere, clothing stripped and recently trying to crawl off the end. After the morning battle of getting her ready, I took her down for her breakfast.
Setting her down into her play pen, I started to get my breakfast ready as I heated up Alice's bottle. Once I put my toast on the table and checked that Alice's bottle wasn't to hot I picked her up and cradled her. She was being so fussy this morning being curled up seemed to settle her. I could see her rubbing her eyes, hopefully she would nap in the car.
Once Alice had finished I noticed that it was 7am I realised that my sister Rosalie would be by to pick Alice up so I could go to work. Not long after I had finished my breakfast and had the baby bag ready for the day, I heard the front door go; I knew it was Rose. I could hear Alice squeal from the play pen in the front room; know doubt from seeing her best friend come in. Those two were thick as thieves; then adding Emmett into the mix was mayhem.
I called from the kitchen. "Hey sis, how are you?" Me and Rose always had a rocky relationship but we still loved each other.
"Hi Carlisle, yeah I am good thank you and how is my little niece doing? Huh?" When I turned to look I saw Alice in Rose's arm tugging at her blonde locks. Alice was making some gurgling noises with a big goofy and Rose have not had kids yet, but they will be great parents when they do.
"Yeah she is doing fine, her bag is together, she just had her bottle a little while ago, I have..." Rose soon cut me off. "Carlisle we will be fine stop worrying go to work I know by now what the routine is. It's like any other day when I take her" Rose said with a smile.
I laughed "Thank you Rosie, I will see you at 8pm, but I will call you if any emergency comes up but I will see if I can get off early." I hated it when Rose had her for two long; it makes me feel I am taking advantage of their help. When it comes to juggling my busy work schedule Rose, Em, Esme and Richard have always been there to support me with Alice, I could never of gotten through this year without them.
"Don't worry so much Carlisle, me and Emmett will be fine. Now get going before you are late for work. Also do not worry if you are late, I can always get Ez to come and get her." I kissed Alice goodbye. That's all it took for me to be running out the door.
As I made my way down the Forks winding roads and into town, all I could think about was trying to get into my head space for work. But that was easier said than done. Alice turning one next week had made me think about when Tanya told me she was pregnant all that time ago.
All those months ago I remember I was at home in my office finishing off some files, I heard Tanya call me. "Carlisle, can I talk to you for a moment?" Something was off with her voice it was telling me something was wrong. That voice always put me on edge, I loved Tanya but she had a wild emotional scale that could switch in a second.
I walked down the stairs to the living room, and I saw Tanya sitting on the sofa leaning forward so her elbow where resting on her knees with her hands clasped together.
I sat down next to her and placed my hand on the bottom of her back and rubbed soothing circles. "Hey honey, what's up?"
She moved out of my grasp away from me, I pulled my hand back while I looked at her in confusion. She looked hesitant when she turned to look at me; the next words she said made my day. "Umm, Carlisle I am... I'm... I am pregnant." I knew at them words my face lit up like a Christmas tree all I have ever wanted was a child a wife for me to look after. But Tanya's next words almost killed me; it was not what I expected far from it.
Saying those words blew her up so much so I had never seen her so angry. "But Carlisle I do not want this baby, we are not right for each other, I do not want to be a mother, I never have wanted to be." She stood up and went upstairs. I sat there on the sofa for what seemed like hours, I wanted this child more than anything.
Going back over and over her words through my head, it showed me that we were not right for each other, I loved her dearly over our two years together but I just could not understand why she did not want our baby. Well I could; Tanya was never really fond of children, but if she did not want to have a child I could not force her.
What felt like forever I spoke with Tanya asking if she would be willing to at least carry our child and then she could sign her rights away. I could not force her, but I really did want our baby with or without her involvement. Tanya remained with me in the house for the next nine months, I wished I could say it was easy. It really was not. Tanya tried all her might to be awkward and difficult throughout. By the time Alice was due I had all legal paperwork obtaining to her birth right as her mother drawn up. At the end of the pregnancy I could not wait to see the back of her.
The day in the hospital when Alice was born I remember sitting in the corner with Alice bundled in my arms, Richard Esme's husband was making sure Tanya was completing and signing all the paperwork. Richard was a ruthless lawyer and brilliant at his job.
Alice was born May 15th July 2015, bought home a week later all decked out in pink with frills, Ez and Rosie went overboard. The day I bought her home did I realise how difficult it would be on my own. Rose and Esme really did help me, I do not think without them would I made it this far.
By the time I had finished my inner ramblings, I was at the hospital and in my parking space. I was recently promoted to clinical lead for pediatrics surgery and care. Basically I go to boring board meetings while running the children department in Forks General Hospital. I was good at my job, but I also did realise it would be a balancing act with Alice and our life, she was growing I really did not want to miss anything. Grabbing my bag I headed into work, it was going to be a long day.
