And I'm back after forever and a day. Sorry I've been busy so enjoy this long chapter!
I only own Asteria and the idea of her abilities as a Soul Singer. I also do not own the songs. Please enjoy!
Sleep eluded Asteria, especially after Redcliffe. The last few days, she avoided Leliana. It wasn't that she didn't want to see the Spymaster, in fact, she was incredibly happy to know that the secretive woman was alive and well. It was the guilt that churned her stomach whenever she saw her. The guilt made her remember the rage and loathing the other Leliana carried, and how she was willing to give up her life just so that Dorian and Asteria could set things right.
She turned over and spotted Papa sitting in the chair across from her bed with a book in his hands. His silvery blue eyes glanced up from the pages and a smile appeared on his lips, "Having trouble sleeping, da'len?"
Asteria nodded, "Yes, but you already knew that."
He put the book down on the table, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"You put all of your faith in me once, and in that dark future I saw, Leliana did the same. I can't look at her now, that weight is too heavy for me to carry, Papa."
He stood and approached her bed, before sitting in front of her. He was thinking about his next words carefully, and Asteria watched him, just as she had when she was a child.
"Guilt is a weight that more people than you have ever carried, Asteria. Why do you think all of these people are here? Guilt has brought them all together in one form or another. The Seeker because she couldn't stop this, Leliana because she didn't know about it first, and the Commander because he couldn't stop what happened in Kirkwall; each of them carries guilt as you do, but they allow it to push them to do better. That is what you must do." Papa paused for a moment, "You do not need to carry the weight of your guilt, da'len, for you have already changed that future. It hasn't happened and it will not happen as long as you are willing to fight. You saw a hopeless Leliana, and that has frightened you, because her hope returned the moment she laid her eyes on you. I told you that you would light up the world one day, and you're doing it, Asteria, and its fine to be afraid. You are not afraid on your own, but they look to you to guide them and to be brave, so be brave, da'len. You are not alone."
Asteria sighed and when she opened her eyes again, Papa was gone. She collapsed back in her bed and mulled over Papa's words. He was always so wise and she was always a frightened, uncertain child. She laid there for a few moments before she became frustrated with her inability to sleep and threw the covers off and her bare feet touched the floor. Asteria pulled on her boots, and ignoring her coat, quietly slipped out the door.
Haven was quiet in the darkness. The bonfire in the center of Haven was burning brightly, keeping the tents surrounding it warm. Asteria wished them a quiet night's sleep. She moved without making a sound, as all Dalish did. She didn't want to anyone to try and join her, let alone notice her. Sometimes the gods answered her in nature.
She slipped past the guards, wandering into the wilderness outside of Haven. Nature was sleeping, none of the animals were around to see her, so she wandered through the snow deep in her own thoughts. Finally, Asteria found the highest point she had been searching for and sat in the snow with her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked up and saw the Breach, its eerie green light mocked her, reminding her that there was true darkness in the world, not just that of the winter night. How did people know that nightmare was above them, and believe that she could fix it? Her eyes drifted to her hand, and she studied the Mark. Why her? Why had Andraste chosen her?
Papa was right, she was afraid; of failing. The entire world was relying on her to fix the gaping hole in the sky and she was terrified she'd get it wrong. Papa put his faith in her, and she couldn't save him. What if she couldn't save the world? How could she be the light in the dark, when she didn't believe herself to be strong enough to carry the torch?
How did they see hope when she stood before them? How did they know that she could save them?
"What am I supposed to see? What must I see to inspire me? I saw nothing but darkness, and as of right now, I've stopped it, kept it from happening but there's still so much more to do. This is the darkest winter I've ever seen, what lesson do you have for me?" Asteria demanded of the sky. "Creators, Andraste, whatever you've chosen me for, help me be strong. I cannot do this alone. How can there be hope in such darkness?"
She sat in silence, waiting for someone to answer her, when a note escaped her lips.
(There is Life. Owned by Disney's Bambi II)
Under the snow
beneath the frozen streams
there is life.
You have to know
when Nature sleeps
She dreams there is life
Asteria stared in wonder as the glow of the Breach seemed to lessen as the dark sky began to grow lighter. The sun was rising. A sound made her turn and she watched the snow nearby move before a nug popped its head out of the snow.
And the colder winter
the warmer the spring
The deeper the sorrow
the more our hearts sing
A melodic voice drifted into Haven, carried by the gentle, morning wind. Varric sleepily opened his eyes at the sound and he grinned. Song was at it again. Blackwall looked to the wilderness, the direction the wind brought the song from. It was beautiful, and it made him hopeful as he saw a bird take flight.
Even when you can't see it
Inside everything
there is life
Asteria looked around as the sweet song of a bird joined her song, a pretty bird fluttered around her head before flying off. Singing along with her as it flew.
Hhmmmm ahhhh
The sunlight warmed Asteria's back as she sang, and she saw it all. The birds flew from their nests and the goats and fennecs seemed to awaken and they rushed out into the snow.
After the rain
the sun will reappear
there is life
After the pain
the joy will still be here
Cullen stepped out of the Chantry, and he looked to the sky as the soft melody drifted towards him. Above Haven, surprising everyone with their appearance, flew a group of red cardinals, each of them lending their own voices to the melody.
For its out of the darkness
that we learn to see
and out of the silence
that songs come to be
and all that we dream of
awaits patiently
There is life.
There is life.
She laid back in the snow, ignoring the cold as the sun had warmed her. The gods had answered her and now she was no longer afraid. Her eyes drifted shut and she sighed, now she could rest. There was the sound of something moving in the snow and she opened one eye, and was greeted by a halla. It stared down at her with brilliant, intelligent eyes and its lips nibbled her dark hair, kissed her head.
Asteria reached up to pet the halla, and it allowed her to. It looked up abruptly at the faint sound of barking orders; Cullen and the soldiers were already training. Then it ran away. The dark haired elf sat up to follow it, but it was already gone, and it hadn't left a trail.
Yes, the gods had answered her.
Asteria spent the morning napping in the wilderness, until Varric and Dorian found her.
"If you keep making a habit of sleeping in the snow, Herald or not, you're going to get sick." Varric remarked.
Asteria sleepily opened one eye, "I couldn't sleep last night."
"So you came out here to the freezing cold to sleep?" Dorian asked.
"I came out here to think and to ask for help." She replied as she sat up and stretched.
"Did you get any answers?" Varric asked with a grin.
The Dalish woman smiled back, "I did. I'm feeling better now."
"Good. Now, I'm certain there's a Breach to close, don't you think?" Dorian remarked as he offered her a hand to lift her up.
She took it and stood to wipe the snow off her clothes, "I guess we better get going then, right?"
The Mages were waiting with Cassandra and Fiona when Asteria made it back to Haven with Varric and Dorian.
"Good morning Asteria." Cassandra greeted.
"Morning. I guess today is the day?" Asteria asked.
"The sooner we close the Breach the better." The Seeker remarked.
"The Mages are ready, Herald." Fiona added.
The Dalish woman nodded, "Alright. Let me get my staff and we'll go now."
They stood among the sulfur and the volcanic ash. The sight of it ignited something fierce within Asteria. Her grip tightened on her staff and she looked up at the Breach. It was ruining her view of the sky and it was scaring people. After this, they didn't have to be scared anymore.
"You think you've got this one, Ria?" Dorian asked from his position beside her.
Asteria glanced at him, "Yeah. What do you think? Is the South still rustic and cute?"
"It might look better once that is gone. Good luck." Dorian stated.
The dark haired woman nodded at Cassandra, and the Seeker approached the mages, "Ready yourselves!"
Solas spoke up, "Lend the Herald your will! Look past her, let her will draw from you!"
Asteria looked up at the Breach once more, focused on the magic that lived in her hand. The Mark sparked to life and she began to pull at the seams of the Breach. A cry of frustration escaped her and she felt the power within her rise. The mages slammed their staffs into the ground, they shared their strength with her and she felt the power in her hand grow exponentially. She stood and reached up with the Mark with a battle cry. She felt the Breach shudder and there was a flash of blinding green light and she was thrown off her feet.
The next thing she knew, Dorian and Cassandra were at her side. Dorian sighed, "You gave me quite the scare there, Ria."
"You did it." Cassandra replied and there was a loud cheer from the others around them.
Asteria smiled, "That explains the headache."
Dorian chuckled, "Come on, let's see to your head before the celebration gets underway. Can't have a party without the guest of honor."
"A party already? And I don't even have anything to wear."
People danced and drank, and Asteria watched them all. Everyone was happy and it made Asteria happy.
"Solas confirms the Breach has been sealed. We have reports of lingering rifts, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread." Cassandra stated.
"I couldn't have done it alone."
Cassandra nodded, "You're right, we succeeded because of an alliance, and recently, there haven't been many successful ones. The Inquisition must redirect their attention; we do not have peace yet."
Asteria was about to say something when a bell began to ring and everything seemed to stop for a moment before there were cries of worry and fear. She heard Cullen order, "Soldiers to arm! Defend the gate!"
"We must get to the gate!" Cassandra replied as she ran off.
Something made Asteria's stomach churn and she followed after the Seeker.
"Cullen what's happening?" Cassandra demanded.
He turned to face her, "One watch guard reporting it's a massive force coming over the bulk of the mountains. "
Josephine asked, "Under what banner?"
Cullen looked at her, "None."
The Ambassador looked at him in disbelief, "None?"
Asteria felt something pulling her to the gate as someone on the other side tried to open it. "Let me in! I can't get in unless you open!"
Without a second thought, the elf was opening the gate. On the other side she saw a huge knight and he lifted his sword to cut through her but he suddenly went still and fell forward. A small man in a large hat stood there with a dagger.
"I'm Cole. I came here to warn you-to help. People are coming to hurt you. You probably already know that. It's the Templars. They are coming to kill you."
Asteria didn't know what to think. Her blood was pumping through her veins, her heartbeat echoed in her head, and screams of fear and pain were so loud, they almost drowned out the beating of her heart. The Elder One and his Templars had been stopped, but then the Archdemon came, and it cut a new path for the Templars.
"Ria!"
She hit the ground hard, but only the wind was knocked out of her. Dorian shielded her, "Are you alright? Damn it all, Asteria, pay attention. We've got people to save!"
She nodded, "Right!" Then her staff was in her hands and she was hurling spell after spell at the Red Templars. Something within her was thrumming loudly, it was becoming angrier and angrier.
"Let's go Song." Varric led her to the Chantry and Cullen shut the door behind them.
Cole saw to Roderick, and Asteria felt awful; he was bleeding out.
"He's dying. He won't survive the night." Cole replied.
Roderick looked to him, "What a charming boy."
"Herald, this isn't a fortress. We won't survive the onslaught, not with that thing." Cullen stated.
Asteria nodded, trying to focus on his words through the angry thrumming she felt growing within her. Where was it coming from? Why was it so angry?
"He's coming to kill you. You took his mages and he's angry. He will kill everyone here." Cole replied.
The Herald looked to him, "He wants me?"
"Just you. You stole what was his."
"I'd give my life if he would spare Haven." Asteria replied, and Cullen stared at her in wonder. She would die for them?
Cole shook his head, "That's won't matter. He'll kill them all."
Asteria's silvery blue eyes met Cullen's amber ones, "Tell me what the plan is, Commander."
He sighed, "There isn't one anymore. Any time you bought us with the trebuchet is gone now, thanks to that monster. We can use the remaining trebuchets to bury Haven and his army of Templars."
Her eyes widened, "No, that would kill everyone here."
"We don't have any other options."
"You know for a Templar you sound a lot like a blood mage." Dorian spat in anger.
"Not now." Asteria snapped, taking them all by surprise. She shook her head, to clear it from the anger that was making it too hazy to think. "I won't let these people die. There has to be another way."
Cole looked to the back of the Chantry, his gaze followed Roderick's, "Yes, that could work. Roderick has an idea. He wants to tell you before he dies."
"There is a path, you wouldn't know it unless you took the summer pilgrimage. She meant for me to take it, with everyone else who took is gone with the Divine, only I remain. I was meant to show you where it was."
"Roderick, what are you talking about?" Asteria asked, keeping her voice calm. Her blood was on fire, there was rage coursing through her veins, and it was burning a hole in her stomach. She needed to know that they would survive.
"I can lead them out to safety, and then you can bury Haven." Roderick stated.
His reply soothed the anger somewhat and the thrumming lessened. Her eyes met Cullen's once more, "Get them out of here."
"What about you?" He asked.
She held his gaze, but said nothing, and she saw him understand her silence. She had been serious when she said that she'd give her life for everyone else to survive. Asteria turned to walk out of the Chantry and his voice called out to her, "Maybe you'll surprise them."
She nodded, "Maybe."
Asteria was glad that she sent Bull, Blackwall, Varric, and Dorian ahead. They didn't need to see her now. The Archdemon stared down at her with dead, but angry eyes. The sight of it didn't instill fear, but rage. She'd never been this angry before, not even when Papa had died.
The Elder One, he called himself Corypheus, and claimed to be a new god. The only gods she knew of were the Creators and the Maker, and this monstrous being, was no god. Corypheus threw her against the trebuchet, "I will not suffer an enemy, not even a nameless one. You will die."
Her eyes spotted the flaming arrow and she grinned as she collected the sword near her, "You talk quite a bit, Elder One. You're right, you've won this battle. Enjoy your prize." She kicked the lever of the trebuchet and it sent a boulder flying into the mountains.
Asteria didn't stay to watch, instead she ran and took a leap of faith. The last thing she remembered was the darkness as she fell through the Earth and a silent prayer, "Please, let them live."
Asteria Lavellan was capable of many things, the Inquisition had come to realize. What they weren't sure of was whether or not she'd be able to return to them this time. The icy wind howled around what was left of the citizens of Haven and the Inquisition. The surprise attack by Red Templars and an Archdemon had left them unprepared and barely able to move in time.
Cullen stared into the nothingness of the night, waiting and hoping for a sign of the Herald of Andraste. His fists tightened on his pommel, and he cursed himself internally. He should've been prepared; he should've stayed with her.
Varric, Dorian, and Blackwall had returned, but Asteria had not been with him. They said she had captured the Elder One's attention and ordered them to run before firing the last trebuchet and burying Haven in snow.
"Any sign of her, Commander?" Dorian asked as he approached.
"Nothing." He answered, trying to keep the defeat out of his voice.
"She's strong, she won't give up so easily." Cassandra stated as she joined them.
The cold wind howled around her and it was all she could do to keep moving. Asteria struggled through the snow, grimacing as the cold seeped into her boots and chilled her feet. Her brain told her she should be dead, and her body ached in agreement, but something inside of her refused to quit.
Wolves howled behind her and it forced her to push herself faster to keep ahead of them; she would not be their meal.
"Are you going to let the weather beat you, da'vhenan?" Papa asked her.
She met his gaze, looked into his eyes that were the same color, "You aren't exactly helping, Papa."
He smiled at her, "Because you're strong enough to push yourself along. You don't need me to lead you."
"Would be n..nice t..to lean on ." She stuttered as pain shot through her chest and there was a rush of warm liquid. The scent of copper filled her nose and she groaned in pain as she staggered in the snow.
Papa stood over her, a look of deep concern on his face. "You can't give up yet, da'len. You're so close." He pointed behind him, and she tried so hard to see what he did, but she couldn't.
"I..I'm tired, papa."
"No! You fight! You get up and fight right now Asteria! You are stronger than this, stronger than I could ever be. Do not give in. Dig deep, da'vhenan, dig deep within your soul and find the strength. You have it! Fight!"
Everything swam around her, and she struggled to push herself up again.
"Do not let him win!" Papa encouraged.
She staggered to her feet and continued on, with Papa following beside her a proud smile on his face. Her eyes could barely make out what his eyes had seen, "Fire?" She fell to the snow again, this time her body refused to respond to her command to get up.
"Come on, da'len, come on. Just a little more."
"S…so t-tired." She muttered.
"No, Asteria, not yet, I know you, not yet."
"H-how can you have such f..faith?" She asked.
He smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and caressed her hair, "Because you're my daughter, and you're a light that they'll have to try much harder to extinguish. You saved the Hinterlands, you saved the mages, you closed the Breach, you saved lives and you scare them with how bright you shine. So fight."
"I have nothing left." She whispered.
"You are alive, and that is enough. When your brain gives up, your body will follow, but your heart and soul, they don't know the meaning of having nothing left; you don't know how to give up." He stated, "Find the words, da'vhenan. Find the words in your soul."
She stared at the small fires, wanting nothing more than to be near the warmth. Fires meant safe, they were safe. She smiled.
The wolves were closer now, she could hear their howls. Her body ached, refusing to move an inch, but there was still fire in her, there was a will to live. She couldn't outrun the wolves though. Asteria had no more energy for magic.
"Papa-"
"Find the words, Asteria. What does your soul say?" He asked her.
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
Fire erupted around her as she listened to song within her soul, the words that flowed through her with power that warmed her to her core.
"This is my fight song; take back my life song. It's cold but I'm not. Beaten but not broken; I'm alive. " Cole appeared beside Cullen and the others, and he pointed out into the snow, where fire was barely visible.
Cullen didn't hesitate, he ran out into the icy cold, hope blooming in his chest as he saw Asteria's form standing before him. She was beaten, bruised and bloody, but she was standing there, despite all odds.
"Asteria!"
She looked up at him, silvery blue eyes meeting his amber eyes and she smiled briefly, "Ma sa'lath."
His face fell as she collapsed just as his arms wrapped around her, catching her. "Asteria, are you-"
"I'm not done yet." She muttered before her eyes closed.
He sighed in relief, 'No you aren't.'
"By the Maker, Ria, you look like shit." Dorian remarked, but there was relief in his gray eyes.
"Dorian, she's-"
"I can see the blood. Let's get her back to camp. Did she say anything?"
"'I'm not done yet.'" Cullen repeated.
"Oh she's definitely a fighter." Dorian leaned down to whisper in her ear, "If you fight me as I try to help you Ria, I swear to the Maker I'll come after you and I'll bring the whole party with me. So, fly on your father's wings once more, Ria, and come back to us."
"Is it-"
Dorian cut Cassandra off, "Solas and Vivienne, its Ria, she's injured bad. This is going to take a lot of work. Get the Mother just to be safe."
Cullen placed her in a tent before he was pushed out of the way by the healers, Dorian gave him a nod before disappearing into the tent with her.
"She made it, thank the Maker." Cassandra whispered.
"We need her to survive the night, now." Cullen remarked.
"Asteria."
She opened her eyes and cringed at her own sensitivity to the light.
"You know, da'len, I think I finally figured out what you are." Papa smiled secretly at her, a glimmer of excitement brightened his eyes.
"What?"
"A dragon."
"Papa, don't be silly."
"You don't see you the way I see you. You're a dragon, da'vhenan." He smiled at her, "You're going to do amazing things. You will lead when no one else can, and you will be their beacon in the darkness. Wake up now, Asteria. Dareth shiral."
Asteria opened her eyes, and a small whimper of pain escaped her as her ears twitched with the sound of arguing. She sat up slowly, holding her side as she watched her advisors argue about what to do next. Her heart sank as she realized that they were lost, perhaps more so than she was.
"They've been fighting since you returned. The Maker saw you return to us, and it brought hope, but they are still lost. You will have to guide them." Mother Giselle explained.
Asteria met her gaze, "I don't know if I can."
"The Maker saw you through the Conclave and Haven, can you honestly say you do not believe?" The Mother asked.
Asteria took a moment, "I never said I believe in the Creators, but I also believe that if the Creators live, than so does the Maker. Perhaps they all abandoned us, or perhaps they feel we must make our journeys on our own to find out who we really are." She paused a moment, unsure of where she was going with her words, "I survived the Conclave and Haven, but I'm not sure what that means."
"Many would say that the Maker helped you."
"I don't know if I can do this alone, Mother Giselle." Asteria admitted as she stood.
Her legs shook as she added weight and her body protested at her movements as she tried to approach the four who had brought her to the Inquisition. Words were echoing in her soul, wanting to find their way out, but she wasn't prepared to share them, though these words did not feel entirely her own.
She paused to lean on a pole. She turned to Mother Giselle when the woman began to sing.
(The Dawn Will Come. Owned by BIOWARE.)
Shadows fall and hope has fled
Steel your heart the dawn will come
The night is long and the path is dark
Look to the sky for one day soon
The dawn will come
Her eyes widened in shock, as the words from her soul were heard escaping Leliana's lips as she continued the song. Soon, more were singing with her.
The shepherd's lost and his home is far
Keep to the stars the dawn will come
The night is long and the path is dark
Look to the sky for one day soon
The dawn will come
They were bowing or kneeling before her, and Asteria was shocked. The entirety of Haven was standing before her, their heads bowed as they continued to sing. Her heart swelled with love for these people, at the beauty in their faith.
Bare your blade and raise it high
Stand your ground the dawn will come
The night is long and the path is dark
Look to the sky for one day soon
The dawn will come
Mother Giselle looked at her, "Faith has not touched you yet, or perhaps it has and you're unsure, but it has found them."
Asteria looked at the people before her, her body still aching but her soul was burning with fire that was not there before. She may not share the secret of her Soul Songs with them, but somehow, they were connected through that song, one she had never heard before but they all knew. Her eyes looked to the stars.
'You will lead when no one else can, you will be their light through the shadows.'
"A word?" Solas broke her train of thought, leading her away from the camp.
"A wise woman, she is. She understands when to unify a cause. The orb Corypheus used, it is Elvhen. I fear they will not be happy when they discover it is of our people."
Asteria eyed him, "How do you know this?"
"It is a Foci, I have seen them in the Fade. When they discover it is ours, they will be upset and they will no longer trust us."
"They're too concerned about not freezing to death, Solas, I doubt that will be much of a concern." She glanced behind her, smiling at the laughter she heard.
Solas frowned, "Then you are naïve."
She glared at him, "We will cross that bridge when we get there, Solas, in the meantime, we must make sure that we do not freeze."
"I agree. I have a solution. By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it, changed you. Scout to the North, be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build…grow. Skyhold."
Asteria did as Solas told, she led the Inquisition through the mountains and the snow. Her body still ached, but she never let them know. Dorian tended to her bruises and aches at night, with Varric keeping a look out so no one noticed. Bull and Blackwall often joined them once she was healed and they shared stories or talked.
She knew they were eager to hear a song from her, it would help them, but she was not ready to sing, not ready to share her gift yet, especially not with the knowledge that her soul sang a Chantry song, probably to soothe the Inquisition's wounds.
Happiness flooded her when she finally saw Skyhold, sitting atop a mountain range, free for the taking. She wanted to sing her joy to the sky, but instead she reported to her advisors, and they prepared to claim the keep.
They had a home.
So one of the reasons this took forever is I was trying to reorganize my thoughts because in my head, this story is already finished, I just need to reorganize it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!
