Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods only my own ideas.

A/N: Hello amazing readers! You guys are awesome, I hope you like this chapter.

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Tonight was the start of possibly the worst or best week of his life in a long time. For today Jamie was going to find out if he got the all clear from his doctor. If he received that news he was going to face one of his now many fears and go home to see his family. However, this appointment was really just a formality since he was already studying until his mind protested. Jamie knew that he was ahead of schedule and in the top of his class. However, he felt like he had to work until he crashed or else he would have a fitful night's sleeps which would result in him tossing and turning all night anyway. He knew that he did not look like a healthy young man with the bags present under his eyes almost becoming a constant part of his life. After a few minutes waiting in the cold bleach perfect white exam room there was a knock on the door and then his doctor entered. After a few routine questions, the doctor listened to his heart, lungs and checked his eyes the doctor spoke," Everything looks good, I just have one more question. Jamison, when was the last time you slept?" After seeing Jamie's look of confusion the doctor sighed and said, "You didn't really think you could fool me did you? I mean come on the way you look I doubt you could fool a friend."

"The last time I had a good night's rest would be almost three months ago. Don't get me wrong, I sleep it just takes forever for me to calm down. Then I don't sleep long before I get woken up by a nightmare but I am sure everything will go back to normal soon."

The doctor just looked at Jamie with a look of concern and sadness in his eyes. Before saying, " Jamie what I would like to do is write you a prescription for a sleeping pill for one night so you get some rest and have you talk to someone."

Jamie inwardly thought," No I can't! Reagan men don't do that we are strong and do not need help dealing with our emotions. Although, it would be nice to finally get some decent sleep." The thought of uninterrupted sleep, triumphed over the idea that he would be breaking the Reagan motto. So he replied," Okay." To this the doctor nodded and wrote out the prescription and gave him the names of two possible psychiatrists he could see then he said, "For the rest of the day I would like for you to take It easy no crazy studying and definitely no driving more than from here to your apartment" After seeing Jamie nod the doctor left the room.

When Jamie arrived back at his apartment he placed a call to the psychiatrist and scheduled an appointment for the following day at twelve o'clock. After he hung up the phone, he walked over to his kitchen prepared his dinner then he did his homework and finally at eight o'clock he decided it was not too early to go to bed. "*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

The following morning, Jamie awoke from a surprisingly restful night's sleep. In fact, it had been so long since the last time he had such a great nights sleep, he had forgotten how great it felt to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed. Although he could not quite the voice in his head that said,"You took the cheap way out and caved you should have solved this on your own." After attending his classes Jamie made his way to Doctor Grace Adams office. Once inside and seated he heard the gentle female voice of his doctor say," So Mr. Reagan what brings you here?"
"That's a long story you probably already know and please call me Jamie."
"Alright, Jamie it is but I have to tell you I have no idea what you are talking about." The female doctor replied with a genuine confused look on her face.
"Sorry." Jamie replied as he suddenly found the white carpeting very interesting.
"It's quite alright. Let's start at the beginning what happened."

"It was almost wow four months ago, I was walking to class talking with a friend when out of nowhere this kid who though he owned the world skated between us and knocked me off balance I couldn't believe what had just happened so I shouted something along the lines of, "Hey watch it." I personally did not think anything of it as I stood up I noticed the kid was glaring at me, he looked like he wanted to fight, but he just stuffed his hands in his pockets. Over the next few days I started to notice odd things happening like he was always around and always tried to run me over with his skateboard."

There was a lull in the conversation so the doctor said," Did you tell anyone?"

"No! I thought it was just some harmless bullying besides it's not like a skateboard could do that much damage. You see in my family we were taught to not think outside of the box unless it was justified. In my opinion, getting knocked off balance by a kid on a skateboard was not enough to make me raise concern. However, when it continued for just over a week I told my friend Spencer as a joke that I was going to feel like a bowling pin if that kid wasn't careful. I thought he would laugh but all he said was, "Jamie this has been going on for way to long I think it's time you tell someone."

"How did hearing that make you feel."
"Honestly, I thought he was over reacting but I told him I would think about it while I was gone."

"Where did you go?"

"That weekend I was planning on taking a road trip to surprise my family in New York. I come from a fairly large family with two older brothers, an older sister, a sister-in law, a niece and two nephews. You see we are a close group and every weekend we all meet for family dinner. At least that was the plan and for a while it worked, but lately with school I had been busy and could only make it every other weekend so this trip was special." Jamie replied as he started to fidget in his seat.

Seeing this the doctor said, "So is it fair to reason you waited to tell someone because you wanted to tell your family first?"
"No that is not what I wanted to do. You see doc, my family is a family full of detectives and my father is currently the Commissioner of New York. The last thing I was going to do was go to them. Since I knew they would say," You're making a problem out of nothing its time you toughen up." Anyways it does not matter."

"Why do you say that?" the doctor asked clearly perplexed noticing her patients stare was back on the carpeted floor.

"Because I never went home. After that conversation I told you about I went back to my apartment to pack and discovered my apartment door had been forced open and the place was trashed. I immediately called the police. A squad car arrived in a few minutes. After a few minutes the officers came back outside to where I was waiting and informed me that the apartment was clear and a report was filed."

After about a minute seeing Jamie was not going to continue the doctor said, "Jamie is that why you didn't go home."

"Sort of" Jamie said while wringing his hands stare still fixed on the carpet and he started tapping his feet. "You see the original plan was to stay an extra night and do the drive on Saturday but then the last thing I thought would ever happen happened. As I was heading towards my car I noticed there was a flyer rolled up in the door handle. The flyer had the most cryptic message I have ever seen it said," Soon you will know your place." I was stunned, I grabbed the note and ran to the police station upon arriving I was immediately shown to a detective who took my statement and in so many words informed me that this could all just be a big joke."

"This doesn't.." the doctor tried to speak but was cut off by Jamie.

"What I didn't realize though was the person who broke into my house and left the cryptic message were the same person. Why didn't I figure this out, my family would have been so disappointed in me." Jamie replied as he started to get up and pace around the room.

The doctor in a calm voice replied," Jamie, what you have to remember is none of this is your fault. Also I may not know your family in person but I have a feeling your family is like most and would not be disappointed but instead worried about you."

"You don't understand." Jamie replied with insistence as he continued to pace the room, "You see in my family the only thing worse than breaking the law, is not telling them when something is wrong. Even if it turns out to be nothing. Either way you will still land up the butt of a joke or the subject of a family story that is retold over and over again."

The doctor could see a situation and said, "Jamie."

However, Jamie did not hear her and continued talking, In fact, those were my exact thoughts as I left the police station and saw that my brother Joe was calling so I just ignored the call. I was a few blocks away from my apartment when I heard my phone ringing again instead of my brother Joe however, it was my niece Nikki and I knew she was just calling to say hi and had no agenda but I couldn't answer."

"What do you mean did your phone die?"

Jamie who had finally stopped pacing was now staring out of the window in the doctor's office taking in the view as he said, "Because that's when everything changed. I am sorry I have taken up enough of your time I will get going." As he rushed to grab his coat and keep his emotions in check.
He was stopped by the doctor as she said," Jamie I don't mind listening."
"I know and I appreciate it. I am sorry I just have to go."
"Alright well how about you come back tomorrow at the same time."

"I can't come tomorrow." Seeing the Doctors confused face Jamie said, "I am leaving tomorrow to go home for the weekend."
"I see well how about Tuesday ?"

"Alright see you then." Jamie replied as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door hoping to make a quick escape. However, he was stopped again by the doctor as she said," Jamie I know this is hard but I want to let you know there is no right or wrong way to act. Also please keep in mind that your family loves you and nothing will ever change that." As the doctor inwardly thought," I do not see him coming back I hope I got through to him and helped him a little bit with the amount I do know."

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After leaving the doctor's office Jamie was not sure why but he had this urge to call his sister. So he picked up the phone and called his sister. She answered on the first ring, "Hello."
"Hey sis how are you?"
"Jamie hey I am good it's kind of busy here you would never believe it everyone in New York decided this was the week to contest their tickets."
"The DA's office must be swamped if they have a brilliant prosecutor like you on the petty crimes."

Erin gave a light chuckle then replied, "We are, but I got a few minutes for my favorite brother. So, how is everything at Harvard?"

"You say that to all of us." Jamie replied with a laugh.

"No I don't"

"Yes you do usually right before you ask for a favor so out with it."

"Well you see I have this case and the book I need is located in the Harvard library. The librarian I spoke with said, for non-alumni it will take up to five days to get the information, so I was wondering if you would do your sister a favor."
"Ah I see you want me to fax it to you."
"Yes that would be great or even better would be if you could hand deliver the book before Monday."

"Erin I will see what I can do, just email me the information."

"Alright will do so Jamie what is going on up there at Harvard."

"Not much really since we just talked three days ago, the teachers are still keeping us really busy. So all of my time is going towards school." As he inwardly thought," Yeah school work, nightmares and the occasional flashback fun times. Although are they new, or just repeating ideas like a recording on a loop?"

Jamie's thoughts were cut off by his sister," Jamie I have to go but make sure you have some fun you are only young once."

"Says the workaholic" Jamie inwardly reasons but replies," Alright sis love you have a great day and good luck in court." After hanging up the phone he pushes open the thick oak library doors and finds a large wood table and immediately gets straight to work. After finishing off his homework, he opened up his email to see the message Erin sent with the title and section she needed. After finding the book he went to the front desk to check the book out. However, when it was his turn he was informed that the book was currently on hold and awaiting shipment to the New York district attorney's office. To this Jamie replied," Let me guess the book is for ADA Erin Reagan."

"Yes how did you know?"

"She is the one who asked me to get the book."
"I see but before we can do anything we will need to speak with her."
"I understand thank you for your time." Jamie replied as he turned to leave the library so he could call his sister.

"Twice in one day a girl could get used to this."
"I know, I know I don't call enough. Erin listen, I can't get the book because you called and placed a hold on the only remaining copy only way I can get you that book is if you call them."
"Alright I will call them." She replied before hanging up. Jamie went back into the library and headed back to the reference desk. A few minutes later the receptionist gave him the book and he headed home with probably one of the thickest books available in the whole library.

When he reached his apartment his exhaustion hit him like a wave so he settled for a quick dinner and then went straight to bed.

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The next morning Jamie awoke earlier than he planned but he felt for once he just had to get up and could not fall back asleep. He was even pleased because when he looked in the mirror after his shower all of his bruises had finally faded and the only remaining reminders were the two small scars he had. In fact, he inwardly thought, "Those scars had not hurt in a probably just over three weeks. "Jamie's thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing he answered on the first ring," Hello."

"Hi this is the dean's office calling to inform you that you have been selected to attend a convention in New York."
"I am honored thank you when is it?"

"It will be on Friday."

"I didn't realize it would be so soon."

"I am sorry about that but we have been trying to get ahold of you for about a week only recently did we realize we copied down the wrong number. The trip is free of charge only thing we ask is that you be at the hotel by ten P.M."

"Alright I can make that work. Just one more question what about my classes?"

"Yes of course we have already spoken with your professors and gotten you excused out of class. We wish you the best of luck." Then the line went dead.

Jamie got packed and ready to leave quicker than he thought although it was aided by the fact that he was already pretty packed for he already planned on a road trip. With the speed he left Boston he arrived in New York City at eleven o'clock. Realizing that his sister would still be in her office. He decided he would surprise her with lunch. After parking the car he entered the building and made it through all of the security in about five minutes. Upon arrival on her floor he asked a worker," Excuse me do you know where I can find Erin Reagan."

"Down the hall third door on the left."
"Thank you." Jamie replied as he walked away. Upon arriving at the office he could hear muffled voices coming from the office. So he decided he would sit down and wait. As soon as he sat down another assistant came over. "May I help you?"

"Yes I would like to speak with Erin Reagan."

"I see and who are you?"
"Oh just a delivery boy with a package she needs to sign for personally."

"I will let her know you are here but just so you know it could be a few minutes she is in the middle of a meeting."

"That's alright I can wait." After the assistant returned to her desk she wrote out the message. She then knocked on Erin's office door and when she heard the voice of Erin say," Come in." She entered handed her the note and then left. Once the door was closed Erin let out a sigh. The other occupants of the room looked confused and one said, "Sis what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"Come on that is not nothing."

"Fine it is Jamie."
"Is he alright?" Danny asked.

"Yeah he is fine at least until I get my hands on him."

"So then what does that note have to do with Jamie?" Joe inquired.

"That's a long story but the short version is, I talked to him yesterday and asked him to pick up a book I needed from the Harvard library since it would take too long without his help. He said he would see what he could do last I heard he had the book. I guess I just got my hopes up when I asked for him to get it to me by Monday I thought he might come deliver it in person but it seems like he just paid a delivery boy."

Danny we might have to go knock some sense into that kid."

"Well sis we should get going unless you want to go get lunch?"
"Yeah that sounds like a plan." Erin replied with a half-smile. As she called her assistant and said," Please tell the delivery boy he can come back now." A few seconds later there was a knock on the door.

Upon hearing, "Come in" Jamie entered the room. He was a little surprised to see all of his siblings in one place but seeing as they were not looking up he decided to say, "What I come all this way and don't even get eye contact?"
Erin, Danny and Joe for a second were so surprised it looked like they were frozen in place. However, out of nowhere there was a shriek from Erin, as she ran forward and gave her baby brother the tightest hug possible. This brought Danny and Joe out of their stupor as they ran forward and joined the hug. Jamie was the first to speak," So I take it I surprised you."

"Well yeah, and what is up with the secrecy." Erin asked.

"I just wanted to surprise everyone this Sunday but when you called I had a feeling you already knew I was coming. So I thought I would try to surprise you with lunch but surprising Danny and Joe was just icing on the cake." Jamie replied with a childish grin.

"Well you succeeded who all knows you are in town." Danny asked.

"Family wise no one except you three."
"So what is it surprise day and why aren't you in class?" Erin asked.

"Yes it is and my classes for today were canceled and tomorrows were moved last minute to New York."

"How about we go get lunch and catch up." Joe interrupted.

"Yeah sounds like a plan the kid has me craving cake."

Lunch was a blast and everything was going so smoothly until Danny asked, "I was wondering if after shift Joe and I could swing by dad's and we could watch the game."

After Jamie finished taking a drink of his soda he said, "Joe, Pops, dad and yourself can but I won't be there."

"Where will you be?" Joe asked clearly confused.

"Before you freak out just listen, my original plan before this school thing came up was to surprise everyone and stay with dad and pops. But as I said a school thing got moved here so as a result I am required to stay with them in a hotel downtown."

"So this is the only time we will see you?" Erin asked sadness evident in her voice.
"No of course not you will see me it's just I just will be really busy tomorrow while you're at work. Besides like I would come all this way and not make it to Sunday dinner. It's not like I have a death wish." Jamie replied with a smile. At that the discussion was dropped although Jamie could tell his sibling did not like it and the rest of lunch went smoothly. Although he inwardly thought," What is their problem its only one day. A day I am sure they will be at work anyway."

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After lunch, Jamie headed to 1PP for he knew his father would love to see him and if he were honest with himself he knew he could not wait any longer to see his dad. After arriving at 1PP Jamie made his way up to the top floor when he reached Detective Abigail Baker's desk he said," Is the Commissioner busy?"
Baker was not sure if she was hearing things but she could have sworn she had just heard Jamie Reagan but that was impossible. So she slowly raised her head up so she could see the visitor. Standing there was Jamie Reagan in blue jeans a button up baby blue shirt, black shoes and his hair perfectly in place on his head. She immediately came out from behind her desk pulling Jamie into a hug as she said, "It is so great to see you, I will go see if they are done."
"I don't want to intrude."
Abigail nodded her understanding as she opened the door. Once she was in the room she saw that everyone was on their way out and the commissioner was busy. So she quietly stepped over to Franks second in command and whispered in his ear," Please tell the Commissioner someone is insisting on speaking with him when he is done here." Garret was puzzled, but before he could question who it was Baker was gone.