Chapter 35) Shelter
Nuada POV
"That mage is dangerous, to himself and others." I didn't know what to say. Father had been chatting with the First Enchanter before this strange man in stranger armor showed up with a scowl and fierce words. "It cannot wait," he insisted. I saw the burning sword marking the front of his armor and wondered why it was there. "He has to go through the Rite of Tranquility." What was that?
"Perhaps, Knight-Commander, that is a discussion I shouldn't overhear?" I looked up at Father's pointed words, and saw his fake smile. He didn't like this man. Was he bad? "But I do trust, dear templar, you have gone through all the proper investigations?" Father continued lightly. His hand reached to my shoulder and tugged me behind his leg. I peeked out anyway to watch the angry man glower. "The Rite is, after all, supposed to be used as a last resort." Father's smile grew softer, but his eyes were cold. No, he didn't like this man at all. But I didn't think the First Enchanter or the scowly man knew that. "I bid you good evening, First Enchanter, Knight-Commander. Let us have a wonderful talk over wine later." Oh, he must really not like this man. Father only invited people he didn't like to drink wine. "Come, Nuada. Let us leave them to their investigations."
"Yes, sir," I mumbled. I bowed to the two, made myself smile just like Father, and followed him out of the Antivan Circle of Magi. "Who was that?"
"The leader of the templars here, pup." Were the templars bad, then? "I'll tell you more when you're older. It's a bit murky."
"Okay." That meant complicated. I didn't like complicated. "Can I have a sweet?"
"I do believe that is the tenth envious look sent my way today," I laughed, waving to the two teenagers working in the fields nearby. I wasn't sure which one looked more envious, the boy or the girl. "Alas, 'tis the price for traveling with such lovely company."
"Are you so certain they were looking at us?" With a laugh, Leliana easily joined into my banter with dancing eyes. She'd been quite chipper as we meandered past unusually quiet farmlands, and I was glad for it. It made it easier to not imagine the bountiful harvests going up in smoke from fighting. "Perhaps they are envious of our having you!"
"Alack, alay!" I even gasped for effect and she laughed even harder. "Oh, whatever should I do, Leliana? How can I disappoint them so?" She was getting a little red in the face, and a person laughing rarely thought clearly. So, seeing a chance, I purposely switched to speaking in Orlesian. "I suppose, however, that this sort of traveling must seem quite dull when compared to the glitter of Halamshiral."
"Oh, no." Ha, she didn't even really notice, just automatically started talking in Orlesian too. She just wiped away the tears and fanned herself. "It's rather exciting, actually. This isn't the sort of thing you'd do in…" She trailed off, eyes widening slightly as she realized just what I'd said, and what she just said.
I smiled when she looked at me. "How's Marjolaine?" She paled at the name, a sharp contrast to the earlier flush. "I trust she's well?"
"I don't know, and I don't care." Oh, that was vehement. "B-but, I promise, I left that life behind!" Considering how easy of a trap she fell into, I'd hope it was either that or she was trying to trick me into complacency. "I've been a laysister at the Lothering Chantry for three years." Wait, was she babbling? "I-I promise!" She was. Wow, did I hit a nerve or what?
"Relax, I'm not distrusting you." I looked up at the sky to give her time to compose herself. "Aiden has good instincts. If you'd meant to do us harm, I rather doubt he'd have listened to you." Though, Aiden also needed to learn he had good instincts. Honestly, I thought only Cleon had better. "It is a shame you stopped, though. Bards can sometimes help in ways others can't." There was nothing inherently evil or wrong with the Bards of Orlais. It was just very, very dangerous.
"Oh." I glanced back and thought I saw a thoughtful grimace flash across her face. Well, that was interesting. I'd let Elspeth know when I next saw her. "Still, I haven't seen Marjolaine in all that time, and I hope to never do so again." That had to be a bitter, at best, parting then. Her eyes were even narrowed into a glare.
"What are you two talking about?" I looked down to see Layla had finally decided to rejoin the two of us. She'd been a bit ahead, excitement making her feet fast and her cheeks flushed. She didn't say anything aloud about wanting to be back at the Tower, but even a child could figure out her happy thoughts. "I do not understand that language," she continued, sounding almost a little cross as she pouted. She promptly almost tripped and both Leliana and I reached out to catch her. "…Thank you…"
"It's no trouble!" Leliana reassured with a laugh. She shifted so that Layla was between me and her, and hooked her arm in Layla's with a casual ease. Layla didn't seem to mind at all. "Nuada was simply being kind, and decided to talk to be in Orlesian so I could hear the language again." Bards really were the best liars. "We were talking about how I used to be a storyteller before joining the Chantry." She would've also been a spy, possibly an assassin outright. That was the Game, though, where a handful of words and one strategically placed glove could ruin marriages and rip apart noble houses. I hated that Elspeth and I were good at it. Well, she was good; I was decent. Honestly, the fact that in the Court I got along with Gaspard more than anyone else spoke a lot about me, I think.
"You are a storyteller?" I bit back a laugh at just how sparkling her eyes got. I hadn't seen her this cheerful since… since events I am not going to think about because I will break and, until the Blight is over, I really, really can't break or show weakness. Too many would look to Wardens for salvation, once it got through their thick skulls that this was a real threat. "Do you know any about griffons, Leliana?" …Why? Why did she have to ask about griffons? They just made me think of Oren. I couldn't think of Oren right now.
"I do, but I'll tell you one later, when we're camped." I was definitely going to figure out a good excuse to not be around. "But tell me, Layla. What's this Tower like?"
"Oh, it is wonderful, Leliana!" Layla gushed, a very distinctive skip to her step as we continued to walk. I focused on the surrounding area, but found it as wonderfully empty as before. How long would things remain peaceful here? Refugees would be pouring in soon. There was no doubt about that. "You had to be careful about getting on the wrong end of an angry templar, of course, but Knight Commander Greagoir would deliver harsh punishments to any of his templars who were caught trying to use their position to hurt us mages!" Well, that was a wonderful thing to hear. I was afraid it would be like the Gallows in Kirkwall. "There are accidents, of course, and rebels all around, but it's really, really wonderful!" Now, did she think that before she saw the world outside the Tower or had everything Thedas thrown at her made her decide it was lovely? It was hard to tell. "I can't wait to introduce you all to Irving! He's the First Enchanter, and he's like a father to everyone. Oh, but he doesn't excuse our actions." She nodded vigorously, and we had to stop walking to make sure she didn't trip again in her excitement. "He's a proper father." Something dark flashed through her eyes. What was that sentence hiding? Ah, that wasn't my business. Everyone had their secrets. "Neria should still be there too! She's Aiden's cousin!" Was that so? Well, we'd have to see if she was up for writing a letter to him. It would be easy to carry it. "I wonder if Anders is back? He's on his twelfth escape." That, more than anything, showed how this Knight-Commander was fair and followed the law. I knew other Circles would've Tranquiled the mage after the third attempt. "There's also…" She suddenly trailed off, a surprisingly heartbreaking light in her eyes. Was she thinking of the mages lost at Ostagar? "Um…"
"I must admit; I am surprised." Leliana certainly looked it, lip bitten in thought, arms crossed over her chest. "Considering how the templars can be." Oh. Oh, no, was this starting?
"It always comes back to the mages and templars." I didn't even realize the words had left my mouth until I noticed both Layla and Leliana staring at me curious. "I mean…" I began, before sighing, reaching back to fix my ponytail. It was getting tangled in the wind; I'd have to brush it when we stopped. "I know it is an issue." Oh, Maker, was it ever an issue. "But it seems to drown out a lot of the other issues facing our society?" Both just continued to stare, and I felt obligated to defend myself, damn it. "Yes, mages need more autonomy. Yes, the Chantry has turned what used to be a beneficial system into something of a glorified cage that simultaneously does a wonderful job in protecting its charges and exposes them to their greatest dangers." I needed a bottle or ten of Antivan wine for this. "However, it seems like people use this issue as a smokescreen to avoid talking about the systematic oppression of elves that has literally lasted for ages, or how nobles of questionable morals will take advantage of the very people they are to protect and no one can raise their voice, especially in other countries." We weren't even going to talk about how no one on the surface thought of the dwarves living underground, constantly fighting darkspawn and slowly suffocating in their own outdated traditions. "That's all." I was just so damn tired of people constantly going back and forth on a morally grey issue, when decidedly not morally grey issues were pushed under the rug.
"Goodness, I think that's the longest I've heard you talk about a serious thing!" Leliana giggled, not at all offended by what I said. I could only smile vaguely in reply. After all, she wasn't wrong. I normally kept silent about things like that. "Regardless, we are slowing down, and I don't like those clouds forming, so-"
"Say, Nuada?" Startled, I looked down at Layla to see her fidgeting, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, fiddling with the straps of her chest piece. "Um…" She took a breath and looked me right in the eye, eyes surprisingly serious. If she was going to ask to heal me again, I was going to- "What do you think of the Rite of Tranquility?" …What? "Just… what's your opinion on it?" Okay. Okay, I have grown up in many, many different courts over the years. I have seen a wide range of sights, heard an even larger range of things. I lived through years in the Orlesian Court as a popular target and pawn of the Game. It took a lot to startle me. But never would I have expected that question, and I really wouldn't have expected Layla to ask me.
"When I first heard about it, I thought it strange," I finally murmured, feeling myself tense at the memory. "Of course, I'd been maybe five? We were still in Antiva, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a templar." I still wasn't sure how much I liked them. I understood their purpose, but the Chantry didn't do a good job making sure they did said purpose in a reasonable, moral manner. "Now, I think it's a needlessly cruel practice, something the Chantry preaches because destroying minds is so much better than killing people, especially when the person is unwilling." Well, that came out far more bitter than I intended. "However, I understand it's a choice some people make, and that is their right." Some days, I could really envy their ability to look at a situation with total logic. "But that's more or less my extent of an opinion." It was abused, like everything else the Chantry did. We really needed a more progressive Divine to fix the mess.
"But what about the Tranquil themselves?" Okay, Layla, what was with you asking me these things? What did I do to make you wonder about my opinion? "They've lost their emotions, the things that color life!"
"They're… people?" I shrugged, feeling a little irritated now. Things were not helped by Leliana being horribly silent through the exchange, watching us with a strange bemusement I did not like. "I can't form a general opinion on people." She opened her mouth, probably to protest something, so I kept talking. "They show no more emotion than Elspeth does around strangers, but I'd be willing to bet they're as content about life as she is. I laugh and smile a lot, but who knows what I'm thinking behind it? I'm probably plotting murder!" Her eyes widened, so I hastily added, "That's speaking hypothetically, though I do know people who can do that." Almost all of them were Orlesian, though there were no few Nevarrans in the mix.
"But they don't have free will." Well, thank you so much for giving your opinion now, Leliana. Truly, I was blessed! "They just serve," she continued, rising a bit of her tiptoes to better lean towards me. Layla nodded vigorously for emphasis and I really had to fight off the urge to groan. I had a headache, and a rising desire to have bunches of alcohol. I'd even try dwarven swill at this point! "So, in that sense-"
"No, it is simply Tranquil do not have the want to object simply from defiance." WHY DID I KNOW MORE ABOUT TRANQUIL THAN THE MAGE?! Did she never talk to them? "In White Circle, I saw Tranquil refuse orders often." Well, both were staring now. "They did because the orders were illogical. That's how they think." I couldn't make myself smile anymore, and I had to fight off the urge to rub my temples by clenching my fists behind my back. "That's all. Many people strive for that mentality even in real life." Those people tended to be leaders, or high ranking. You really needed a logical head to play ruthless mathematics with people's lives. "Are you two going to give me an explanation for why we had this lovely discussion?" I bit the inside of my mouth hard when both shook their heads, resisting the urge to both groan and scream. Right, then it was time to go back to my mask before I did or said something I'd regret. "Alack, alay, oh woe is me, to be the victim of your games!" That… wasn't really the mask, so I made myself smile to make it seem like a joke. If we passed a tavern, I was buying something.
"Thank you ever so much!" At least Leliana knew how to play along. "But, and excuse me for changing the subject, do either of you hear something?" she asked, looking to the nearby shrubs. Now that she mentioned it; there was a distinct rustling from them. "Someone should check, yes?" Yes, because it could really be anything from a squirrel to a bounty hunter.
"I'll do it," I volunteered with a sigh. This was sheer idiocy, but I was wearing the best armor still, so if the thing was violent, I had the best shot of getting away with only a bruise. Providing, of course, I didn't do something to my stomach wound, but that was neither here nor there. "Hold on." A quick glance back showed me Leliana reaching for either an arrow or a knife, while Layla looked entirely too curious with barely wary eyes. Right, let's see what's…
"BOO!" I had about three seconds to yelp and fall on my ass before realizing the apparent 'attacker' was nothing more than a mischievous little boy, not much older than Oren, wearing the biggest grin. "Got you~!" he laughed, grin somehow getting even wider as he climbed out of the bushes. "Hahaha!" He didn't even seem to mind all the scratches and mud covering his arms, face, and clothes as he continued to laugh and laugh.
So I, being the sensible and reasonable adult, proceeded to loose some of the most blistering curses I knew, completely uncaring of the fact he might go home and repeat all of them to his parents. He'd deserved whatever punishment they gave him!
"Wait, Mister, what are you saying?" It took me a few seconds for me to get what he meant, pausing mid-sentence as I realized what I was thinking and saying weren't Common. They'd been Antivan. A quick glance back confirmed Layla and Leliana looked just as confused.
"That doesn't matter," I grumbled, pushing myself up. The boy still looked confused. "You, child, shouldn't be doing stuff like that to random travelers on the road!" I reached down to poke his nose, making him squirm and giggle. "What if we'd been bandits? You'd be dead or worse!" Providing, of course, we were the morally corrupt kind, not the really desperate to make ends meet kind. "What if we'd been paranoid soldiers?" Why did the kid still look confused, tilting his head to the side? "So, you need to think about who to safely play pranks on and…" Wait a second. "And I'm still not speaking Common, am I?" All right, so what language was I currently thinking in? This was the trouble with knowing so many; you often got mixed up on what to actually say. "Let's see. Harder syllables mean Nevarran, so…" It was made infinitely worse when you had the bad habit of not noticing when you switched things up. At least the kid seemed amused. "Are these words Common?" The boy finally nodded and I sighed heavily. "Okay, then I can give you a proper scolding!" The boy's eyes widened and I fought the urge to laugh. "And don't think you can get out of it. I have a nephew."
Laughter from behind me made me turn, and I glowered at Layla when I realized she was the source. "You are so silly!" she managed to say, covering her mouth to stifle the sound even as her eyes teared up from the force. "You didn't even notice!"
"You try keeping six or seven languages straight in your head!" I really couldn't help but protest, but she only seemed to laugh more. Even Leliana was giggling, though she held her stomach instead of her face. "Truly, I am glad to serve as your jester!" I turned back to the kid, who was back to grinning. "What are you even doing out here?"
"Wondering what Wardens are doing here." Everything froze at the boy's casual words. "Girl looks like the poster," he explained, hands going behind his head in a very relaxed pose. "Mama said to look out for Wardens." Yeah, I'd imagine given- "It's gonna rain soon." A quick look up to the skies confirmed he was right. "You can stay in our barn." Uh…
"If the offer is genuine, we should probably take it." I really couldn't help but give Leliana a look and she grimaced slightly. "I know," she whispered. Her hand tightened on her bow, even as she smiled. "But this looks to be a bad storm." I'd trust her opinion on that one. Weather had never been my strong point. "We can run fast." Layla might not, but I could carry her and still keep enough speed, probably. "We'd be honored to come with you, little one." Here was hoping…
Surprisingly, the boy's mother was very accommodating of us. In fact, she'd had her boy out looking for Wardens specifically to give us shelter and food if we needed it. Why? Apparently, her sister's family lived in Lothering, and she'd been among the many we'd saved that day.
"Teyrn Loghain stole all the soldiers, but you Wardens went out to help, even though everyone is turning against you," she gushed, smiling sweetly as she helped be shove some hay into some makeshift beds for the three of us. "I appreciate it. Who knows what might've happened to my little niece if you hadn't saved the town?" Well, hopefully, she would've just died. I doubted a little kid could get away fast enough to escape harm. "Been spreading the tale, of course, every time someone brings up the thing at Ostagar. The way I see it, either a plan went wrong, or someone is lying to me, because I refuse to believe a group that protects one tiny town is anything but good." I… I honestly hadn't expected that. "And don't think I'm the only one, either. The people running from Lothering spread tales of your heroism high and low." She giggled, clapping her hands together lightly in what I thought was delight. "I reckon in a few days, you lot will even be able to stay in an inn without too much worries. Make due with the barn until then!"
"Believe me, ma'am, I think this will be some of the best sleep I've gotten in a while." I smiled and bowed to her, making her laugh again. "Truly, thank you for this, and the delightful meal earlier."
"Oh, it was just simple fare." I have literally had feasts that were worse. "Please, enjoy your rest." She turned to her children, including the rascal who'd led us here, only to see they were in a circle around Leliana and Layla, with Leliana obviously in the middle of some epic tale with grandiose hand gestures. "Oh dear."
"It's been a bit since we've had a moment to rest like this." I put on my most charming smile. "Surely, they can stay for just a bit longer, yes?"
"I… oh, I suppose." She sighed, shaking her head. "Things will be rough soon. It'll be good for them to take the time they have now to play." Well, wasn't that a sunny thought? "They can stay until I'm done with my last rounds." She smiled at me again and heading out the door, holding a canvas over her head to keep from getting soaked. I waited until the doors shut before returning to settling the hay. Here was hoping she'd be all right out there. Wait, had I even gotten her name?"
"You didn't flirt with her?" Confused, I looked and found Layla had left the circle to stand by me. Despite her words, she only looked confused. "Don't you flirt with everyone?" she asked, leaning forward slightly, even if it meant she had to look up more.
"I don't flirt with married or unresponsive people," I corrected with great dignity before flopping down into the hay. It was wonderfully soft and smelled incredibly sweet. "The first is problems I would really not want to deal with, and the second is simply common courtesy."
"I… half expected you to say something like 'I do not flirt with men'?" She hesitantly sat next to me, wrinkling her nose at the dust. "Though, given your interactions with Cleon and Alistar, I am not sure why."
"Mmm, gender has never really been a factor in whether or not I find a person attractive." It was always hard to explain. "Regardless, that can't be what brought you over here." Feeling a dull ache in my wrist, I reached up to massage it, hoping to ease the pain. Did I injure it at Lothering? "What's up?"
"I…" She hesitated in answering, so I readied a reply about how she didn't have to tell me. But then she kept on going before I could, "Leliana was talking about how the Maker is kind." Her voice sounded so small, and I looked over to see her hugging herself. "And I could… I did not know how to react." She ducked her head, as if afraid she'd be smited or something. "I used to believe. I really did. But after everything… after everything, I just didn't know…"
"That's fine." I shrugged off the look she gave me, continuing to massage my aching wrist. "You can be a good person and not believe in the Maker, or really any sort of divine entities, you know?" You could also be a very, very horrific person and believe in Him. It was sad how many of the Chantry fell into that category. "I'm not sure how much time we actually have to think about such things, though." Personally, I thought we didn't have any, but I wasn't so cruel that I'd say that to her face when she looked like a lost mabari pup.
"I see." Hesitantly, she reached to my hand and pried it off of my wrist. "You should not do that. You shall bruise yourself if you do it like that." I almost laughed it off, but then remembered something that felt so long ago. "Then you will have more injuries you refuse to let me heal." She was definitely sulky, but I didn't rise to the bait. Instead, I tried to review my thoughts, making sure they weren't similar to the thoughts so long ago, when such an action would've been quite purposeful.
I sighed in relief when I realized no, that hadn't been the case. It shouldn't be. It had been a long time since I conquered those urges. But with everything, would I relapse? I didn't think so, but… "Keep an eye on things like that, please." Layla looked at me in confusion, but I just looked at my arms, remembering the old self-inflicted injuries. "I used to have the habit in the past." I really shouldn't be saying this, but it was better to admit a possible weakness than to find myself back on that path. "Bruises were my method." Her hands further curled around mine, still gentle, but firm. "Relax, Layla. It's been… oh, it's been about six or seven years since I last even thought about it." Hesitantly, I looked to her, and saw her staring straight back, eyes understanding. "With everything, though, I suppose I'm not confident I won't relapse." I didn't think I would. But before everything, it would've been an 'I know'. "I should be fine."
"But you are not certain, so you wish for another set of eyes?" I nodded and was absolutely startled by how bright her smile was. Why, in Andraste's name, was she smiling that wide?! I really didn't get her sometimes. "I can do that. I did it in the Tower." It somehow didn't surprise me. "Do not fret!" I wasn't? But if she thought I was, I'd let her believe it. It was easier. "Oh, I feel wonderful now!" Why? "I think I shall make some balms!" Before I could say or do anything, she bolted to the corner where we set down our packs.
I thought about calling after her, but decided against it and settled a little further into the hay, listening to the rain pelting the roof and Leliana teaching the children a silly and fun song about raindrops, roses, and kittens. Surprisingly, I felt myself start drifting rather quickly, and thought about fighting it off. But, in the end, I decided to just give in and take the rest. It wouldn't be every day we'd have such warm shelter. I might as well take advantage of it.
Author's note: Bonding chapter with the three, on the way to the Tower, as well as Nuada actually VOICING some of his opinions on issues. As for the thing with the bruises... I debated whether or not to do that with Nuada, but it felt 'right' with his character, so I decided to do so. It's not going to be a prevailing thing, simply something Nuada (and Layla) watches out for as things start going to the Void and back. (If there is a need, I will put in a warning, but as it stands, I will not since I do not plan on showing the behavior, or to have an episode in Nuada's POV where he is fighting off the thoughts.)
Next Chapter – Dalish quest starts with Cleon
