Chapter 37) Tower


It was large. That's all I could think as I was escorted inside. It was large, in the middle of a lake, connected to land by only a broken bridge. The air inside sparked and writhed, like it was alive, and I shook in both fear and awe. What was this place? Why was I here? Did it have something to do with the fire? Was it because Daddy tried to hurt me?

"Ah, is this her?" A gentle looking old man appeared in front of me, crouching down to smile right into my eyes. "I am Irving, child," he greeted. "Welcome to Kinloch Hold, Tower of the Circle." He took my hand and I tentatively smiled at how warm it was. "Let's get you set up with the other apprentice mages, shall we?"


Something was wrong. Something was wrong, wrong, very wrong. A templar was on the docks, guarding the boats, on orders. I knew him as Carroll, a templar particularly sensitive to lyrium, who was very skilled despite a rather child-like personality. He was friends with Godwin, and more stubborn than a mule!

"I have told you! I have strict orders not to let anyone pass." Carroll planted his feet to better emphasize his words. I should be grateful he had not drawn blade.

"But we need to get to the Tower," I insisted, barely checking the urge to stamp my feet like a child. I held up the treaty, hoping it would help my case. "We are Wardens. I need to-

"Oh, fancy!" He was completely ignoring me. "I've some documents too. They say I'm the queen of Antiva." I was also being mocked. I wanted to cry from misery and frustration. "What do you think of that?"

"You've gotten quite a bit uglier than, my lady." I glanced back to see Nuada walk up, face lit up by a cheerful smile. I thought he and Leliana had gone to get information from the inn here. "Would you like to try that against someone who has actually met the Queen of Antiva, kind sir?" he asked, coming up to my side… and then standing in front of me a little, protectively. "Clearly, you must be the epitome of wit, to insult a charming woman trying to do her job." W-well, he was trying to do his too… did he just call me 'charming'? "Your commanding officer will be most displeased at you warding us off."

"Yes, indeed!" Leliana skipped up to my other side, hands clasped behind her back as she rocked on her feet in a swaying, dancing motion. "We sent word hours ago that we would be arriving," she continued easily. I tried to not gawk at the incredible lie. "Did you not see the pretty little raven flying overhead?" We did not have ravens! "We were delayed severely, and are quite late as is." Leliana leaned forward slightly, smiling sweetly. "You wouldn't want to make him mad at you, will you?"

"W-well… no…" Carroll mumbled, absently scratching his cheek. He hummed a little in thought before sighing. "All right. You can pass." I cannot believe that lie worked. "So, I'll just-"

"I know how to sail a boat," Nuada interrupted. He still appeared quite cheerful, but something about the nonchalant demeanor just struck me as mean. "Mother wouldn't let me learn how to sail a ship until I got the basics, after all." P-pardon…? "So, we'll take care of that. You return to your very important duties. Sir." Nuada took me by the hand and tugged me after him to the docks. Leliana skipped behind us, giggling a little. "Nice storytelling, Lady Bard."

"Why, thank you~" Leliana giggled. I ignored them both to kneel by one of the boats, still feeling miserable as I ran a hand through the cold water. "Still, I think you should've accepted his help. Maneuvering a boat is harder than it looks, you know."

"Dear Leliana, are you accusing me of lying?" Nuada's voice was almost comical in its indignation. "Alack, alay! Whatever did I do to deserve such doubts?" A hand appeared in my vision and I looked up to see Nuada smiling down at me. "Here, let me help you onto the boat, Layla." The last time… someone did that… Commander Duncan had been the one who… but he was dead, now. He was dead, and here I was, on a boat again… "Layla?"

"M-my apologies!" I squeaked, taking his hand quickly and pulling myself up. I refused to look up. "Um… I am sorry, for not being able to get us past." Truly, I must be a useful addition to the group, being only able to heal. I had been so proud to pass my Harrowing, but now I felt more like a child than anything.

"No, I should be sorry for just jumping in." His hand tightened on mine. "I just got angry when I realized he was mocking you and acted before I could think twice." I glanced up, but he was looking away from me, studying the boat. I thought… there might be a redness to his face, though. "So, let's actually get into the boat." Ah, yes!

Hesitantly, I stepped in, using Nuada as a point of balance as I tried to find my footing and sat down on the far end, gripping the sides as Nuada let go of me to help Leliana in. Unlike me, she stepped with confidence, sitting in the middle cross-legged. "Hey, Layla?" she began as Nuada climbed in behind her and started untying the boat from the dock. I made some noise to tell her I was listening, looking up at the starry sky. How long had I been arguing with Carroll? "When we're done here, how about I give you some lessons in how to appear strong and confident?" Pardon? "There are a couple of easy tricks, and they are truly quite useful." I… was not sure if it would work but I nodded anyway. She giggled and beamed. "Excellent! I'll prepare the lessons!"

"You and Elspeth can tag-team." Nuada's suggestion was paired with the rope dropping into the boat with us and the boat slid forward through the water. "But for now, keep your balance. We're off."

Nodding, I twisted to stare at the scenery. The dark brought a mist to the lake that lingered and writhed in the wind, a cold that made the air heavy and harsh to breath. The broken, ruined bridge that had once connected the Tower to land jutted out of the mist overhead, the moonlight turning it a sickly grey. What scared be, though, was how dark the Tower was in the distance. There were no signs of candles, and late night experiments. As the water sloshed around us, parting with protestations to allow us to pass, I thought it looked like a tomb. What had happened? What wrong with my home?

Leliana struck up a song as Nuada easily sailed us around rocks and clinging seaweed. It was a language I didn't know, but the melody was lilting, soothing, just like a lullaby… or an elegy. I prayed it was simply the former. I could not bear it if the Tower was like Ostagar.


There was blood.

There was blood splattered on the walls, droplets dripping down. There was blood oozing into the cracks of the floor, spreading out like veins. There was blood smeared on the faces of running templars, muddying with sweat. What… what was…?

I stood in the entranceway, just staring. Nuada and Leliana were at my sides, but if they said anything, I could not hear it over the roaring in my ears. The smell of elfroot was almost overpowering, but the metallic tang of all the blood stagnated in the air, making it so very hard to breathe.

I made myself take a step, and from there it was almost easy to walk, so long as I did not think and simply looked around. The templar in the corner, cradling a badly bandaged stump to her chest… I knew her as one of the templars who often stood guard when the female mages bathed. Leaning on the wall near her, with a shattered breastplate revealing ragged, jagged claw wounds, was a templar I had seen often in the infirmary for some bruised eye. The templar who had often helped the apprentices play pranks… they were curled up on their side, shoulders shaking with each shuddering breath. There were so many I knew by sight, could put actions to their faces… but I also knew, keenly, that there were far too few here. Where were the others? Where were the mages? Where…?

"…And I want two men stationed within sight of the doors at all times." There was Knight-Commander Greagoir! Oh, thank the Maker! …But… he wasn't talking to his Knight-Captain, and I did not see Irving nearby as I slowly approached. "Do not open them without my express consent!" And he had blood dripping down his face, a barely scabbed gash on his neck. "Is that clear?" What happened? What happened?! "Now we wait and pray…" And I froze because he turned and happened to see me, blinking slowly. "I'm seeing a ghost."

"Knight-Commander…" I began slowly. My voice wobbled, and I clasped my hands behind my back to hide their trembling. "I'm home?"

"…Yes, and a proper Grey Warden or something, right?" I was not sure if I was a proper anything really. "Glad you're not dead. Irving was moping." His words were brusque, but I could see him making an effort to smile. He looked so tired, though. "But what are you doing here? This… isn't a situation for Wardens."

"What is going on?" I glanced around and saw something that I could not.. quite… comprehend. "Why… are the great doors barred?" I had always known them to be open, not shut tight with iron bands and templar blade.

"That-" A scream cut him off and I whirled to see a templar recruit collapsed, sobbing by another templar. I almost wondered why they were crying by their sleeping friend, but then saw how… the 'sleeper' was missing half their torso. "…Never mind. Layla, did you come alone?" I shook my head and pointed to where I had left Nuada and Leliana. Realizing they were not there, I hunted for them, and found Nuada helping to carry a templar with a tourniquet on their leg to some bedding. Another bout of looking revealed Leliana was threading a needle, eyeing a templar's arm that looked shredded. "Might I ask for the three of you to assist? We can talk when things are calmer."

"Of course." What else could I do? Oh, Maker, why? Why would you let this happen?!


It felt like three days before we finished getting everyone still alive cleaned up and bandaged. I knew it could not have been that long, of course. But each injury seemed to have eaten up hours, made even longer by the refusals for healing magic, forcing me to rely simply on poultices and needles to keep them from bleeding out. The wary, even terrified, stares at my back as I worked had nearly sent me into tears.

But, finally, things calmed and Knight-Commander Greagoir led the three of us off to the side. He looked even more tired than before, but I was certain we did not look any better. Certainly, our hands were patchy with dried blood and we were coating in elfroot infusions and sweat. Nuada even had bite wounds on his arms from where he prevented templars from biting off their tongues in pain.

"I shall speak plainly," Knight-Commander Greagoir began without any sort of preamble. I stiffened at the words; they never meant anything good, especially from him. "The tower is no longer under our control." …Ha… haha… that was a very funny joke, sir. That was a very… funny… oh Maker, it was not a joke, was it? The Knight-Commander never joked about anything. So… "Abominations and demons stalk the tower's halls." Why…? Why was this happening? H-how many were… how many of the people I grew up with were dead?! "First Jowan, and now this. We've been too complacent, it seems." Oh, and this… was going to be used as justification for… the other Circles would… oh, why? Why did this happen? Someone, please, tell me what the point of this was?! Please… "I should've been more vigilant, and urged Irving to be more wary." I was going to sob. I was going to faint. I was going to be sick. Why? Just… why? Wasn't Ostagar enough?! Why my home too?!

"Where's the First Enchanter?" While I was doing my best to not fall apart, Nuada was calm. I hated him, right then. My home was breaking and he was calm! I could have hit him, if I could will myself to do anything but not shake. "Is he among the victims?" I was going to hurt him! Don't just casually say-!

"We saw only demons, hunting templars and mages alike." I was not sure if Leliana saw or sensed me flailing or not, but she wrapped a gentle, reassuring arm around my shoulders, and I leaned on her heavily. I… "I realized we couldn't defeat them and told my men to flee." Templars fleeing was always a bad sign. Ah… someone help. Please, someone, anyone, just tell me what to do and help! "We shut the doors behind us." What of the people left behind?! They could've been… oh, Maker, was everyone going to die like at Ostagar?

"To contain the abominations, and lessen the chances of them figuring out how to cross the lake." STOP BEING CALM, NUADA! "Are you calling for the Right of Annulment?" Everything froze at the words. Those words… they meant the Circle was gone. Everything and everyone would be razed to the ground, nothing surviving. Even the books and experiments worked on would be obliterated, as if they had never existed. I… They were all going to die, going to be wiped from history, and I…

"Yes, I have already sent word." I was going to be sick. I would have collapsed if Leliana had not been holding me up. "The situation is too dire, and I have no alternatives, sadly." Why? Why? Why? Why was this…?

"With all due respect, Knight-Commander, but you do." H-huh? "We'll head in." N-Nuada…? "You can't risk your templars, yes? You are a leader, and no matter what your personal desires are, you must think of your people first and foremost." Slowly, very slowly, I waded out of my thoughts and actually focused on both him and Knight-Commander Greagoir. The latter was startled; the former still looked calm, even a little confident. "But we are not your soldiers. You don't have an obligation to protect us."

"If anyone is alive, then the Maker himself has shielded them!"

"I believe people make their own miracles, ser." Somehow, that last word sounded like a curse, despite Nuada's smile. "You lose nothing by letting us head in, you know. At worst, you would have hoped and found nothing, a painful feeling but one you are expecting in this situation. At best, you have mages and no need to call the Right, correct?" I had never seen Knight-Commander Greagoir so speechless. Was it because… he wanted to go in? "So, what will it be, Knight-Commander? You've a duty to your people, and to Fereldan, but you've also a duty to your charges."

Silence reigned before Knight-Commander Greagoir sighed. "A word of caution." His face was so serious, heightened by how straight he stood. "Once you cross that threshold, there is no turning back." …I was feeling sick again. "The great doors must remain barred. I cannot open them until I have proof it is safe."

"Is the proof Irving?" My voice was quiet, but surprisingly strong as I asked. Knight-Commander Greagoir nodded. "Very well." So, if Irving was dead, then the Tower would be razed. That was… Irving was strong, but he was old, and… and this was an ambush and…

"May Andraste lend you her courage, if you decide to press on." He walked away, one heavy footstep at a time, armor clunking with each movement. I… could not think. I truly, truly could not think.

"I got mad again," I heard Nuada sigh. I looked up to see him running a hand through his hair, looking quite put out over something. "I need to stop reacting to things." I… had thought him to be quite calm? "I'm sorry. I should have talked to you two before arguing."

"Why are you apologizing?" Leliana demanded, sounding almost outraged at the prospect. She even had her hands on her hips, glowering up at him. "This is the right path, no question to it. Hope is painful, yes, but to just deny the possibility… that is a fate worse than death!" I… "Layla agrees, I'm sure." W-well… I…

"I want… to save someone…" I mumbled. I looked down, unable to help it, and my bloody fingers twisted into the skirt of my robe, staining it. "I want… to find someone, anyone, and save them. I don't… I don't want…"

"The Tower shouldn't fall because some idiot decided abominations could be controlled or whatever nonsense they came up with," Nuada scoffed. I thought there was something dark in his eyes as I glanced up, and I wondered why. Then I remembered Highever. Did it… have something to do with…? But he always seemed to deny it happened? "So, into whatever horrors await us?"

"Yes." To my surprise, that one word was firm. It gave me the courage to lift my head up fully, and look them straight in the eye. "Please, help me save my home." They both smiled and nodded, no trace of fear in their eyes. I wished I could feel the same. But there was no turning back now. We were heading in, and we would not leave until we dealt with the threat. H-however… it was we had to do it…

Maker, I hated you so much for this. I hated you so very much.


Author's notes: Sorry for the slowness again, but like with the other group, I wanted to show the group still flailing under the whole 'take charge' idea. Poor Layla just keeps getting hit while down, huh? I decided to showcase Carrol for the funny conversation… and well… he shows up in an unexpected way in Inquisition? Ahah? (I was so startled by it) Also, apologies for how long it took to get this up. Life has been a tad hectic.

Next Chapter – Brecilian Forest with Aiden