3.
"Settle down; it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble, it might drag you down; if you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you're not alone cause I'm gonna make this place your own."

'Home,' by Phil Phillips
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Charlotte is a good 'Robin,' though Griffin has dropped the habit of calling her that. It was amusing for a month or two, but it has lost appeal by now because she's used to it and it no longer annoys her.

Still, she's alright to have around. She isn't a dolt, she doesn't nag, and she's not weird about camping out and living in the outdoors sometimes. She's not some girl who just wants to wear tutus and ribbons and things ...so that's nice.

Charlotte rather enjoys the outdoor adventuring bits of their lives. It's fun ...with fresh air and, often, appealing scenery, sometimes it's easy to pretend they're on a nice vacation.

For a year, now, they've criss-crossed North America. They bunked with another circus for a while because Griffin has had past success with that and Charlotte knows the culture. Doing that was easy, and even now it's tempting to just go back and stay, but they both understand that's how trouble starts. So far, they do a good job of reminding each other not to get to comfortable.

Mostly they camp, moving around based on climate. They sneak into state parks to set up camp, and they venture out to surrounding towns/cities for supplies, amusement, or money. Or books ...they borrow from libraries and give themselves some make-shift "home schooling." Griffin likes to call it nerdy, but even he likes the mental stimulation and the charade of normalcy.

They both enjoy to imagine they really are still in school ...how different life would be if that were true...

They have a new tent now- bigger and with dividers to section off rooms. It is harder to hide than the old pup tent, but it's worth it- neither knows exactly how to live with a member of the opposite sex. They're already growing up too fast, but they aren't ready to actually enjoy the close-quarter situation.

"Hey!" Charlotte greets, popping around the divider flap.

"Oi! Ask much?"

"What? You're dressed," she shrugs.

Griffin is sitting cross-legged in jeans and a sweater on his cot. She's not sure what the big deal is...

"Not the point ...I couldda been doin' anything! So whattcha want?" he asks and looks up from his sketchpad to check.

"When I was at the library yesterday I did some research ...Elsa's in Iowa. I'm gonna visit- you want?"

"Nah," Griffin decides.

"Alright...whattcha drawing?"

Whatever I want," he evades easily in a bored fashion.

His response doesn't bother Charlotte too much. Sometimes Griffin is just moody; anyway, she doesn't need an escort. They part ways sometimes.

"Well...see you later"

"Uh-huh," Griffin waves distractedly and makes no other acknowledgement as she finishes getting ready.

Still, she doesn't mind, and she doesn't think her Aunt will either. This will be her third visit to her beloved Aunt; Griffin accompanied her on the last two. He sometimes gives her grief because, really, they both know it's safest to stay away. Charlotte finds that she can not- not entirely. She owes everything to the Aunt who took her in even when she knew it was dangerous, even when she knew what Charlotte could do and that it had cost others their lives already. Charlotte simply hopes there will be no repercussions...

She jumps as she steps out of the tent, and her foot lands on thin carpet. She's standing next to the sink in what appears to be an empty RV, and she's debating whether to venture outside or wait for her Aunt in there when she hears coughing inside. Smiling, she cross the RV and lets herself into the back bedroom.

"Aunt Elsa..."

"My yara..."


"Cancer!" Charlotte shrieks as she Jumps through the tent.

It's a sloppy Jump and the material billows around her.

"Bloody..."

Griffin's cursing dissolves into mutters and he appears around his flap testily.

"Some of us are tryin' ta nap...whattcha on about?"

"...Elsa has cancer."

It feels like a surprise to Charlotte to say this sentence aloud even though she'd just been with her Aunt for a few hours with this subject as a main topic.

"Wh...oh," is all Griffin says.

This is one problem he's never faced...what is it that you're supposed to say when someone's family is sick?

"Yeah, and she's known a long time," Charlotte continues without needing any prompt or platitude. "Since before we met you ...that's why she wanted to make sure I had a friend! She was always going on about not being around forever- I should've known! Why didn't I get it?!"

Her foot lashes out before she decides to kick anything, and the metal pots they've collected topple over noisily.

"C'mon, how're you supposed to guess that," Griffin mutters, but he may as well not have spoken for all the notice Charlotte took of the words.

Her mind is racing too fast for her to focus on his words. All she can think about is that her Aunt is dying...her body had turned on her some time ago, and she's never even had a clue. Charlotte knows she should be there ...that's what families do, they take care of each other.

"She didn't look good," she finally says shakily. "She looked pale and weak...but she said it's a bad day and that it's usually not that bad..."

"Then that's probably true," Griffin offers helpfully...he hopes it's helpful, anyhow.

"But she's sick ...and she never said..."

"Yeah, that doesn't seem very fair," Griffin agrees.

"I could've... ...well, I dunno what I could've done..."

"Nothin," Griffin tells her honestly. "Yer no doctor..."

"Thanks, I know!" Charlotte snaps. "She doesn't have a doctor, not really ...she doesn't have medical insurance so she's not going to the hospital. Some of the troupers know people who know people...or they're familiar with, like, alternative medicine...that's what she's doing."

"It's working so far, then..."

"She's worse than last time we saw her, how's that 'working'?" Charlotte growls because he isn't getting it.

She doesn't get it.

"Okay ...well, I dunno what to say," he decided to just go ahead with honest.

Charlotte finds, somewhat to her surprise, that she appreciates that.

"Me either ...I told her I'd come stay with her and take care of her but she got mad and forbid it..."

"She knows we can't go back..."

"I know she knows! Like I said- she wanted me to have a friend outside the troupers because of this ...you came to answer her prayers...her chamatkar," Charlotte mutters, and she wishes she didn't sound resentful, but she is resentful. "She was just ...preparing to die..."

"Hey, she ain' dead," Griffin offers.

"Well, she could die while I'm gone...and I won't know because I can only visit every few months- she said not to change that..."

Griffin knows her Aunt's right- she's smart, and she cares- but he also knows better than to say this to Charlotte. It's true, but it's not helpful.

While Griffin is thinking up something that might be comforting, Charlotte huffs and stomps to her make-do room to drop on her cot and yank a blanket over herself. She doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know what to say, and she doesn't know what she wants besides the obvious of wanting her Aunt to be well.

She curls up in bed trying not to cry, and she wonders what a normal life might be like. She'd still be in Washington with her mom and dad...going to school; it's Spring, so she'd be playing softball in the afternoons, not visiting Aunt Elsa all alone. Cancer is relatively normal, so she accepts the fact that even if her life was normal her Aunt might be sick ...but she'd come to stay with the family in Olympia rather than troop through in her RV with hit-or-miss remedies.

The idea of her, Elsa, her mom, and her dad all together comforts her. Sometimes the visual provides itself as a nightmare, mocking her mercilessly, but today ...tonight it seems peaceful...

But she can't actually sleep. She lies for hours thinking and pretending and denying ...but not sleeping.

It's dark out. She's heard Griffin moving about, but he's quiet now, too. The lantern's off and all is black save for a muted sort of light from the moon filtering through the trees. Maybe it's a result of living in an RV for years, but the dark doesn't scare her...she's not sure if it ever has. Maybe she's made for this...or maybe she just doesn't have a choice.

It's not the dark or the little animals scurrying about that are keeping her up ...it's just her mind. It won't stop.

Slowly, she rolls off of her cot and tip-toes out of her portion of the tent and taps Griffin's flap with her nails.

"Griffin...Griffin, hey, c'mon..." she whispers and taps a little harder on the flimsy fabric.

She hears him grumbling- lazy boy.

"Wake up," she sighed and shuffles in to move next to his cot.

"Charlie, whattcha...it's dark, whattcha want?" he mutters and stretches.

He's annoyed. Charlotte knows so, and maybe she feels a little bad ...but she can't help it.

"Can I sleep with you?" she whispered.

"Hmmm...ugh."

Charlotte watches him bury his face into his pillow, and she only rolls her eyes. Lazy, indeed.

"Griff, c'mon..." she shakes his shoulder a little.

"What!"

"I can't sleep- can I sleep with you?"

"...what?"

She's caught his attention now and he half sits up because he has properly heard her now, but he still doesn't really understand.

Charlotte nearly feels stupid for asking. It does seem silly that she can't just be on her own, but she's had a vulnerable day and she just feels ...lonely. Despite her comforting visions of her family and being in Washington...they aren't actually there to accompany her.

"I said I can't sleep- can I sleep with you? Just scoot over a bit..."

"What, no...what?"

"I'm upset and I can't sleep - please? I'm sorry..."

"Fine, s'long as I can go back asleep," he heaves a long sigh and rolls to the edge of his cot just so he can get back to sleeping.

"Thanks"

He grunts as an answer. It's not the most welcoming gesture, but she accepts it and climbs into the cot next to him. It's a tight fit, but that's kind of why she wanted to do it...she can feel his warmth, sense his presence...it feels good.

"God, can ya budge up some?" Griffin groans when he tries to move.

It bustles the whole cot, but Charlotte doesn't complain and shifts on her side to make more space. She doesn't want to cuddle, so she didn't make that kind of move. All she wants is to share his space, and he lets her and she appreciates the show of friendship.


They wake in the morning stiff. It takes a while to shake off the result of how cramped they've slept, but they get up to do so with minimal grumbling as they stretch. Griffin thinks of complaining, but he remembers how upset and withdrawn she'd been the night before, so he keeps his mouth shut. Besides, it counts as something to him that he hadn't had a nightmare...stiff he may be, but he hadn't woken in the middle of the night of the verge of screaming or, otherwise, to find he'd Jumped elsewhere.

He knows there's nothing he can really do for her. He couldn't fix things- he's a Jumper, not a miracle worker or someone who can take them back in time. He understands why she's a mixture of worried and indignant. Worry over Elsa's healthy and indignant over the lie-by-omission...he knows he'd feel the same way.

"Change your clothes. Then come on," he orders when an idea occurs to him.

"Bossy," Charlotte throws back from her little corner of the tent.

When she doesn't question the order, Griffin assumes that means she is doing what he says and he wanders outside to wait. He's trying to picture the place in his mind's eye perfectly- he hasn't been back in a long while, but he's feeling confident that he'll get them there fine.

"Yes, master?"

Charlotte steps out of the tent looking mildly disgruntled and marches over to him.

"Spare me the drama, yeah? Just get over here..."

Her eyes are narrowed. She wonders if maybe it's a trick and some kind of joke is on the other side of this bossy invitation.

"What is it, Grif?"

"Don't trust me?"

She trusts him, but he's a boy. Boys sometimes have different ideas of good and bad or appropriate and inappropriate- she has learned that from her extended time spent Griffin. Boys don't get some things; that much her mind is most definitely certain of.

"You're lucky that I do," she answers in an almost haughty way and stomps to him. "Are we jumping somewhere?"

"Aye..."

He takes hold of her arm and the next thing she knows she's looking at a roller coaster and people are zig-zagging back and forth around them.

"...an amusement park?" Charlotte cocks her head and looks around.

Roller coasters. Shiny rides. Food stands across from where they're standing just now. They're by the bathrooms, which smell stale.

"Yeah ...SIx Flags in Missouri. I hid away here once for three days...come back when the park is closed and eat their food and then bunk down somewhere..." Griffin explains and then gives her a nudge to follow him when he begins to walk off.

First, Charlotte thinks it's silly. Why would she want to hang around an amusement park- she isn't in that kind of mood. As soon as she's done thinking that, she realizes she actually does want to ride one of the roller coasters that she can see. She hearts it racing along the track and imagines the wind whipping past her face and through her long hair...yeah, that doesn't sound so bad. Griffin's not so clueless today, it seems.

"Too slow," she pushes him from behind and jogs past in him search of the tallest roller coaster that would have the fastest drop.

"I'll show ya slow!"

Griffin does pass her, but she doesn't care. They get yelled at for running, but neither care about that, either.

'Teach my girl to be free with herself'

These words come back to Griffin has he watches Charlotte race to a stop in line behind him- he reached the ride first, of course. She's smiling, her hair a bit swept, and she's panting lightly...

He can't say for certain whether or not this is what Elsa had really meant or not, but...Charlotte looks pretty free. She's happy, anyway ...maybe this isn't what Elsa had thought of, but Griffin is sure she'd like it.

They ride several rides and even have a snack around lunch time after Griffin slips some cash out of a teenage boy's pocket.

"I think ...I mean, I know Elsa's right," Charlotte finally speaks to the topic of her after they've eaten and played a couple games to use up the rest of the cash. "About not going back to stay there..."

"Yeah she is," Griffin agrees without even needing to think about it.

"Those guys from Dallas could show up," Charlotte nods.

She remembers the panic of two men pointing guns at them. The men had sounded nearly as surprised and she and Griffin had felt, like they'd stumbled on two little Jumpers purely by accident- Griffin had told her that some of these people could feel Jumps, but he doesn't understand how...just one more danger, one more mystery. Griffin had reacted first and Jumped, and Charlotte had leapt through his Jump scar because she'd been unable to focus her mind to any one place.

She doesn't want that to happen again...and especially not to Elsa.

"...I'm really mad at her..." she confesses while she's at it.

"S'okay," Griffin just nods.

"...can we go ride all the rides again?"

Charlotte doesn't want to talk about it anymore. She's not sure if it's denial or not ...she'll figure it all out later. For now she's at an amusement park with her friend, and she just wants to act like she's some normal girl.

It's a time she'll look back on even years later with fondness. One of the few days she got to feel like a carefree kid.