A/N: I really can't imagine this fanfic being really long. At most I think it'll be about 15 chapters long, and therefore most things will be fast paced, like this chapter. Thanks for all the support, though!
Chapter 3 – The First Crack
'That's when he knew that his efforts were futile. No human being, no living thing on the planet would recognize him for what he did. More wounds, more pain, more discomfort, more hurtful memories. Everything kept on piling up, until he felt like the hole in the middle of his heart was growing larger, and even eating up his conscience as whole, until he -'
"Oh god, shut up."
Izaya hurled the novel across the room in frustration and denial. He hated the book. He hated the main character. He was too much like him. It was almost as if the book was reading straight off from Izaya's mind - and the raven did not like that one bit. The male attempted to finish the book every single time, but always put it down to no avail. Every time he got to same part, his head started echoing, and the words would float off the page and start putting their own input into Izaya's thoughts. And then when it came to a certain point where he couldn't tell the difference between his mind and the book, Izaya threw the book across the room and shoved his face into whatever that was nearest to him.
His life was extremely repetitive. It was either that he got beaten or not, cursed at or not, sneered at or not, looked down at or not, glared at or not... and never appreciated for his existence.
That was about when his father entered his room. The door opened, and Izaya felt nothing but disgust. Not even fear, but disgust. His father's face looked grotesque as fuck.
"Izaya."
Don't you call me by my name.
"What?" Izaya didn't look up at the man. Maybe he was afraid. He didn't even know anymore.
"Where's Mairu and Kururi?" The boy froze at that. He stood up, and then stomped up towards the elder.
"You," Izaya growled, his breathing uneven. "Aren't going to lay a finger on those two." The man didn't seem to be fazed in the smallest bit. He simply grabbed Izaya by the hem of his shirt and drew him close to his face, to the point where Izaya could feel the male's breath to his face.
"Who are you to order me around?" And just like that, Izaya knew perfectly that he was screwed for the day. He wasn't surprised when his back soon came in painful contact with the floor, and a foot crushed his ribs down. When his father grabbed the wooden chair nearby, Izaya muttered a thousand curses in his head. Wood was generally a better thing to be hit with than metal, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt when you were hit with it. The leg of the chair almost penetrated the middle of his stomach, which made Izaya's vision go white. He desperately tried to crawl away in spite of self-defense, but the leg proceeded to crash down on his palm.
"Brat, I think you've forgotten your place just because I didn't give you much attention for the past few days..." The man kicked him like he was a soccer ball towards the bookshelf, which didn't help at all because the books fell down due to the impact all over Izaya's already fragile form. Man, whoever said that words don't hurt was never hit by a pile of books before.
It's okay. Just breathe. Just breathe, and it'll all be fine. Izaya tried to calm himself down. But then when his father kicked his head towards the corner of the shelf again, Izaya decided, Nope, I'm not gonna be fine.
Izaya believed that he did nothing to deserve such physical abuse. He was nothing but a human being. He wasn't a monster. It wasn't necessary for anyone to beat him down in order to keep him in control. Yet why was he being treated like this? Izaya couldn't understand. That's why he despised Heiwajima Shizuo. That male was more monstrous than anyone he had ever encountered. He was probably farthest existence on the planet to be ever defined as human, and despite that fact, he had no problems at all with his family. He wasn't beaten down by his parents, didn't find the need to protect his siblings from a monster living in the house, and didn't long for freedom.
It was simply unfair. Izaya demanded for equality towards whoever was deciding his fate. What did he lack compared to Heiwajima Shizuo? What did he do wrong, and what did Shizuo do right? Was it a sin that he simply wanted one thing, a normal life? Was even that something he didn't deserve to have?
Why couldn't he be protected and guarded by anyone?
Many unanswered questioned lingered in his mind. His nerves seemed to have gone numb from the beatings, and his mouth moved time to time to release grunts or strained moans. It was almost as if the pain was detached from his body, as if Izaya had gotten used to the repetitive action itself. His father spat at him and exited the room, and by the sound of it, had immediately went downstairs. Mairu and Kururi were safe, then.
The aching slowly returned from it's long journey. His wounds started to sting, and untreated cuts screamed as bruises started to form. Izaya buried his head inside the books that fell onto him and just released a sigh of exhaustion.
He wanted to die.
"Izaya." Shinra had approached him the following morning he was at school. Izaya was too distracted to care. It wasn't the first time Shinra came to him, discussing about his wounds. Izaya just needed to make up a right excuse for every inquiry.
"I got into a gang fight." Izaya grumbled. He couldn't bother to make the excuse sound believable. "The leader got infuriated with me, and the gang beat me down."
"There were no gang fights yesterday, Izaya. Celty told me." Shinra lowered his voice, and enunciated every word he said.
"Can we just get over this problem for once? It's inconsequential, Shinra, and whatever you decide to hypothesize, you wouldn't be able to substantiate its accuracy. We went over this previously." Izaya was impatient. His mood wasn't at its best.
However, Shinra was persistent, too. "Am I being the perfidious friend here? No, I'm not. You can trust me with your problems, Izaya. Even Celty is -"
"You and your beloved Celty Strulson!" Izaya exclaimed, slamming the table down. The whole class stared at him, albeit there were only a few students as it was lunch time. But Celty was there, and the smoke lingering inside her helmet looked uneasy. The raven realized what he had said, and quickly sat down. "... I'm sorry, Celty."
"What am I going to do if it's too late to save you?" Shinra narrowed his eyes. "Your wounds are something that I can't oversee, Izaya. If you're telling me that I should ignore a patient as a doctor -"
"You're just a student." Izaya pointed out.
"And so are you." Shinra whispered pitifully. "You're not supposed to be involved in gang fights in the first place."
"Look, I -"
A hand suddenly was put in between Shinra and Izaya's face. The two males soon noticed the blonde high schooler that was staring down at them, reading in between the lines of the argument. Izaya's mood simply worsened as he caught sight of Shizuo. His fists clenched tightly as he tried not to glare daggers at him.
"I'd appreciate it if you stopped fighting about petty things." Shizuo remarked, as he glanced back and forth at the two. "If the flea got into a gang fight, so be it. If not, then so be it. You don't need to interfere with his personal life, Shinra. If he needs help, then he'll ask for it."
Shinra shook his head. "That's the thing, Shizuo. It's reverse psychology. That's exactly the reason Izaya won't ask for help."
"I don't need help." Izaya gritted his teeth.
"See what I mean? This kind of forte really doesn't help in these kinds of situations." Shinra said, as if to prove his point.
"Jesus Christ, Shinra, if you just shut up for one second -"
"Hey, flea." Shizuo glanced down at Izaya. He must have looked pathetic with a bandage hastily wrapped around his head, with bruises dotting his body and cuts nearby his neck. He had to look pitiful. Izaya just gritted his teeth. "Just what the fuck are you doing during your free time? If you're gonna get in trouble, you should at least go to a decent doctor after it's over."
"And mind me asking, why is that anyhow related to Shizu-chan?" Izaya said in a stingy manner.
Shizuo's eyebrows creased. "Oh, I don't know. Because I need to murder you with my own hands, and I would be very much frustrated if someone does that in my place?"
"Aw, Shizu-chan, I know you love me."
"Don't test my patience, flea."
Izaya skillfully avoided the topic. Shinra gave both of them a meaningful glare, but then eventually turned away. Just like that, Izaya had gained his victory again. It was as simple as that, to deceive someone.
"Well, Izaya, you have my phone number, right?" Shinra checked, and Izaya rolled his eyes.
"Sure I do."
"Well, if something happens, you can call me, and my dad can treat you or something. If I don't pick up, you can try Celty... Oh wait, only I understand her secret messages. Shizuo, can you give Izaya your phone number?" The young Kishitani looked over his shoulder, only to meet eyes with a very irritated Heiwajima.
Izaya just laughed. "As if I would ever need the help of Shizu-chan."
"You never know that. It's good to consider the worst of situations." Shinra added, as he picked up Shizuo and Izaya's phone and transferred Shizuo's number to Izaya's. "There. I saved it as Shizu-chan by the way, but you can change that if you want to."
Shizuo grunted. "I would never pick up anyway."
"Oh, come on." Shinra said pleadingly.
Izaya just stared at the two, thinking that he would never use it as well.
At least, that's what he thought then.
A few days after that, Shinra burst into the classroom, his face delightful. He sang "Over the Rainbow" with a terrible English accent, and then slammed down his hands on Izaya's desk as he finished his singing by humming a tune - "The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies."
"I asked Celty out on a date, and she said yes!"
"... Oh." Izaya supposed it must have been something tedious like that. "Good for you."
"Lord, she is the true beauty! I seriously can't imagine anyone more ideal in form than her - not even the hottest idol, like... right, Hijiribe Ruri. Celty is absolutely divine. Like, divine. She is like a living goddess on Earth - well, she isn't exactly human anyway, but -"
"Shinra, do you know what this kind of illness is typically called?" Izaya smiled, as Shinra scoffed.
"It's not an illness, Izaya. It's true love!"
"Well yeah, that makes sense because you are currently lovesick."
"You never loved someone before! It only makes sense that you wouldn't be able to comprehend ny actions right now. I can't imagine you falling in love, anyway." Shinra commented.
Izaya thought for a while about that. "There are many attractive women in this school I could be capable of falling for. Like Namie-san, or Varona... Maybe even Karisawa."
"Love isn't a choice Izaya. It just happens." Shinra pointed out, and Izaya shrugged. Shinra was right - he wouldn't know. For some wretched reason, Shizuo's face crossed his mind, and Izaya just scowled. There was no way he could fall in love with Shizuo.
The rest of the day passed by in peace and harmony. Izaya slept through most of class, and Shizuo didn't bother him either. They were both too distracted in their own business to argue for the day. The rest of the class seemed thankful for the quiet day.
When the bell signaling the end of school rang, Izaya stretched his arms and packed his bag, getting ready to go home. His sisters had to be bored by now, and after all that rest at school, Izaya supposed he could afford to play a few rounds of whatever games they wanted to play. That was when his phone vibrated in his pocket. The caller ID said it was from his house, which was odd, because nobody ever called Izaya using the phone at home. "Hello?"
"Onii-chan? Is it Izaya onii-chan?" The voice was creepily familiar as it shook monotonously in a foreign manner.
"Kururi?" Izaya immediately sensed that something wasn't right. The fact that Mairu wasn't interrupting the phone call - or even that he could hear Mairu at all in the background - or that Kururi seemed to be shaking in the first place. Something was off.
"Onii-chan, Mairu isn't waking up."
Izaya froze, as the girl continued.
"Daddy threw her towards the wall. Mairu's head started bleeding, and she won't wake up after that."
Izaya's lips went dry. He found himself running down the hallway and pushing past crowds of students. His breath went uneven again, as he spoke to Kururi as calmly as possible. "Kururi, I am going now. Don't go anywhere else, okay? Stay where you are." Then he hung up and just raced towards his house. He couldn't lose Kururi and Mairu. They were his reason of living. Without them, his life was meaningless.
When he arrived, he just flung the door open and never closed it. His shoes were tossed carelessly to the side, as Izaya dashed upstairs. When he got to the girls' room he twisted the doorknob and entered.
Blood. There was blood on the floor. The fact that the blood wasn't his mortified Izaya. Kururi was sobbing, her voice muffled as she rubbed her face against Mairu's still body. Izaya shook Kururi and looked into her red eyes.
"Kururi, what happened?"
"Daddy came in." Kururi said. "He said some things we couldn't understand, and then threw Mairu towards the wall and... and Mairu didn't wake up after that..." Izaya's eyes widened. He checked foe Mairu's pulse, which was still quite steady. That was when Izaya heard footsteps.
"Kururi, listen. Go into the closet, and never come out unless I tell you to, alright?" Izaya pushed both of the girls into the closet. Kururi looked fearful, as if she wanted to say that couldn't be left in solitude.
But Izaya had to close the closet door. The man entered, reeking of alcohol as always. He looked in the worst of moods, and that didn't reassure Izaya at all. "Where are the girls?"
"Oh, I don't know," Izaya shook, "I thought you would know better than me."
Orihara Shirou simply passed on a sneer. He took out something from his shirt, and Izaya definitely didn't enjoy the sight of it. The shiny, glinting metal under the dimly lit room stood out more than anything ever could as the man held it in his hand. It was a kitchen knife - probably from the kitchen that they never really used anymore.
"Are you really going to use that on me? Is it worth it, being called a murderer?" Izaya narrowed his eyes.
"Oh, I am not gonna kill you." His father snickered. "I am just gonna have some fun." Izaya didn't know that the definition of the word fun had changed over the few hours he had been learning at school.
His father plunged forward and stabbed his stomach before be could process the situation and dodge it. Izaya didn't feel anything for a while, until the pain hit him. His father rained kicks and punches down after that. Izaya coughed and bled on the wooden floor, grunting and screaming now and then as his father just stabbed his upper arm and lower leg. When he was done, he heard the knife clatter on the floor as it fell. His father panted and departed the room.
Kururi didn't come out. Izaya couldn't even tell her to come out, as he didn't want her to see the unsightly scene that would fold upon her eyes. Blood was splattered everywhere, and Izaya just assumed he looked half-dead.
His vision was blurry as he painfully dragged his phone towards him. He scrolled down the screen, soaking it with blood. He clicked on Shinra's name on his contacts and waited, but the male didn't pick up. That's when Izaya reminded himself that his friend had a date. Geez, what a great time for him to go on a date.
Then he caught sight of the name below. Shizu-chan. Izaya stared at it for a while, and then clicked on it. Anything was worth a try. It was better than dying from blood loss in his house. He waited, and surprisingly enough, Shizuo picked up, although sounding evidently vexed.
"Hello?"
It took Izaya a while to respond. Every muscle in his body ached at that moment. "Shizu... chan."
The blonde paused. It was a long pause, too. "... Izaya? Are you alright?" He was concerned. So concerned to the point where it sounded unrealistic. Izaya wanted to laugh.
"... Save me."
With that, Izaya passed out.
Shizuo was running like a madman. Well, he didn't really know how a madman ran, but if a madman did run, he would've been running like Shizuo. The blonde raced towards Izaya's house as if his life depended on it. The raven sounded terrible. And if he was about to die... Nope. Shizuo wasn't going to let him die.
The Orihara residence was pretty far away from where Shizuo lived, but that didn't matter. His dad was also very curious about why he was rushing out at this of the night, but the blonde was too distracted to give a sensible response. Shizuo believed he had said something along the lines of getting breakfast for tomorrow.
Something was off about the house. Firstly, the door wasn't closed, for some wretched reason. Secondly, Izaya's shoes were sprawled around the floor when he approached the doorstep - which was peculiar, because Izaya liked to put his shoes aligned. Shizuo entered the house anyway, and went up the stairs. He had an uneasy feeling inside his guts, because he heard someone crying. His pace got faster, as he opened Izaya's room - but nobody was there. So he walked to the other room at the end of the hall, and pushed the door open.
What he saw unfold in front of him was simply disgusting. There was sticky, red blood everywhere, and Izaya lying down lifelessly on the floor. A girl that Shizuo remembered as Izaya's little sister was crying his name and sobbing, with another girl lying down next to Izaya, motionless. The girl that was awake seemed terrified when she saw Shizuo.
"D-don't hurt me..." She whispered, hugging both her siblings as protectively as she could. Shizuo's expression softened, as he approached her
"I won't." He patted her head, and then glanced at Izaya. The amount of blood lost was significant. He carried all three of them at once. "Let's go to a doctor." And Shizuo made another run to the Kishitani's house.
Izaya, don't you die on me.
