violet (white) – let's take a chance on happiness
camellia (red) – you're the flame of my heart


Chapter 5: Violet

Tsuna focused his gaze on the coin resting on his palm. He squinted his eyes as the light on the ceiling was reflected by the flat, round piece of metal. He swore he could hear it jeering him. Narrowing his eyes and biting his lower lip, he bent his fingers inwards to his palm and placed the coin above his index finger with the edge of his thumb placed at the first fold. With a swift upward movement of his thumb, his eyes followed the coin as it flipped in the air. It may appear irrational to some, but Tsuna was heavily relying on this to decide for himself.

Tail, I will. Head, I won't. As the coin landed on his palm, he clenched his hand and bit his lip again. What will it be? Closing his eyes, he exerted pressure on his fist before opening his palm and eyes simultaneously.

And it was the tail that greeted him.

-x-

Despite his determination earlier, Tsuna felt it deteriorate as he saw place after place full of nostalgia with Mukuro. He had already decided that he would give Hibari a chance – or should he say, fate had given it to him – yet his heart ached at every stop he made: the quiet park where they usually had their night walks, the bakery with the famous curry bread near the Sky's Flower Shop where they had their first heated argument, the rooftop of the abandoned building where they simply gazed at the stars with only each other and a blanket as companions, and now he was at his last stop, their university where it all started.

They had met Nagi first since they were in the same batch, who then introduced them to Mukuro who was a year higher than them. If asked, Tsuna would not deny that he found Mukuro annoying. In fact, he was verbally open about his feelings for the man, an annoying egotistical man who didn't know the definition of personal space. Another thing that Tsuna would never deny, to himself at least, but continuously do so in front of all of his friends was that while Mukuro was a pesky man, he was an utterly attractive pesky man.

Mukuro was a clever playboy who, with just a flick of his fingers, could have flocks of women, and at times even men, frolicking him. It disgusted Tsuna to think that he was attracted to such a guy. His only saving grace was his face; take that away and he would just be an infuriating person.

That was his mantra to himself.

In Tsuna's first year, Mukuro continued to tease and play with him, whose words only circulated around date and cute. He knew that this was just normal for the man, knowing that he was an expert in such a field; even so, he felt himself slowly fall for him.

Their story was so anti-climatic that sometimes it made Tsuna laugh and cry at the same time. That rainy day in late November in his second year was something he abhorred and ironically adored at the same time.

-x-

Tsuna sighed, snuggling in his maroon scarf. "One month to go and it would be Christmas. I think the relationship blues is contagious."

Enma chuckled. "It's not that bad."

"It's not that bad for you since you're going to Italy with your family." Tsuna pouted.

"Dad's invitation is still open, you know."

Tsuna shook his head. "I can't. You and Cozart-jiisan are too nice. I'll stay here in Japan, crying for someone to comfort me." He wiped imaginary tears from his eyes.

The redhead snorted. "No wonder you've never been in a relationship before. You're a dork."

"Hey! So are you!" Tsuna stuck his tongue out.

A deep voice joined them. "Kufufu. Then why not go out with me?"

Jumping from the shock, Tsuna clutched his chest, eyes widening. He heard Enma laugh beside him and whisper, "Good luck, Tsuna-kun." Then Enma left, making him feel betrayed.

"Go away, Mukuro." Tsuna scowled and started walking again.

"Why not?" Mukuro, much to the Tsuna's protest, took the umbrella from his hand and held it just above his head. "I don't see the reason why you keep rejecting me."

Tsuna retorted, "I don't see the reason why you keep asking me. Go annoy someone else."

"Because you're cute," Tsuna opened his mouth to intervene, "and I'm in love with you."

"W-w-what? That's not funny, Mukuro."

"I'm not trying to be funny, Tsunayoshi-kun. I love you. Go out with me." Tsuna stopped walking, feet frozen on the wet ground; the pitter-patter of the rain amplified due to the silence between them. His heartbeat accelerated. He was scared and glad, but terrified and relieved. How much had he longed for this?

No, impossible! Tsuna inwardly screamed. "S-stop it! It's not funny, it's not funny, it's not funny," he said, voice quivering. "You're a flirt and a liar and annoying and you make me so angry and confused and I hate all of it! I hate you. I hate you. I should hate you. I have to hate you."

"Who says you have to hate me? I'm serious." Grabbing his wrist, he forced Tsuna to look at him.

Tsuna scoffed, trying to regain his composure. "Serious? Really? Didn't think you were capable of that. Then tell me," he glared at the taller man, attempting to ignore the beauty of his blue and red eyes,"why me?"

"Last year on September 28, there was a small boy who was being mugged. I found it pitiful how a random kid tried saving him but ended up being beat himself. On October 18, there was a girl who fell down in a lake and that kid jumped in to save her. It was a stupid move considering he obviously didn't know how to swim. On November 7, there was a man asking for directions. He tried helping him out but ended up being robbed. The day after that, the man was sent to jail and the kid got his money back. You know why all of these happened to that? Because he was a fool, Tsunayoshi-kun. A kindhearted fool."

Tsuna felt shocked and embarrassed at the same time. How did Mukuro know all that? Had he been watching him all this time? Then perhaps he really was serious about him, but confusion overwhelmed him. He hissed, "At least I wanted to help. Why do you know those anyway?"

"Because I'm a fool." He closed the distance between them, and to Tsuna, it was the most beautiful type of warmth he had ever felt. It was a chaste, nervous kiss, much to Tsuna's amusement. Mukuro pulled back, smirking. "Kufufu, I was the one who caught the man. Don't you think you owe me?"

Mukuro turned uncharacteristically quiet when Tsuna kissed him on the cheek. "That should be enough." He blushed.

-x-

"Sawada-senpai?"

Immediately turning to the voice's direction, he saw a boy with green-dyed hair. "Fran!" Tsuna started to grin but froze, suddenly aware of how rigid he was. Blinking a few times, he smiled again, shaking his mind off his previous thoughts. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Six months since I graduated! How are you?" But Fran only stared at him. Tsuna fidgeted, remembering how blunt and sharp his junior could be. Did Mukuro tell him anything about me? He was pretty close with him.

"I'm fine, senpai," said Fran finally. That's it? "Ah, did you want to ask about master?"

Tsuna sputtered, mortified at the fact that he voiced his thoughts out loud. "N-n-no," he waved his hands frantically, "of course not! Why would I? That was a long time ago a-already. A-anyway, how's Belphegor?"

"Still the same freak he is," said Fran.

"That's good to hear, I think." Tsuna scrunched his nose.

"What brings you here?"

He watched as Fran adjusted the colossal frog hat he wore – the hat Belphegor gave him. Always, he had always admired him for his apathetic attitude towards the treatment he received. He remembered the rumour about the new weird kid who wore a strange, childish apple hat to school. Tsuna wasn't the type to listen to gossips, so he ignored it. However, one day at the back of the science building, he saw that kid all bruised, but he wasn't crying. Instead, his face held no emotion. On the second month of his third year, he met the freshman Fran.

Then again, he learned that Fran wasn't the type of person to take it lying down. He wasn't that much of a nice guy. He'd exploit their weakness then the next day the whole student body would have already known about it. It was a case of absolute mental torture, and him meeting Mukuro didn't help. The man began giving Fran tips to aid in his quest which Tsuna was very much against. Unfortunately, it was the start of their bizarre master-student relationship.

Then Belphegor, who was in his fourth year like Mukuro, was added to the formula. However, the bullying against Fran had stopped and there was no one left to play as their victim, so he gave Fran the frog hat in hopes of someone targeting him once more. Belphegor's level of sadism frightened Tsuna, but he didn't miss the light tint of pink on Fran's cheeks.

Tsuna wondered why he was friends with such weird people.

Stepping off memory lane, Tsuna mumbled, "Nothing really."

"All right then. Bye, senpai. I have to meet up with freak-senpai." Fran raised his right hand and started walking away.

"Wait!" shouted Tsuna. When Fran turned around, he blinked. "Did he—did he say something?" he asked, voice hoarse. Fran shook his head, pity flashing in his eyes, betraying his stoic persona. "Anything?" The word left his lips in a whine. He had never felt so utterly repulsed at himself.

Fran slowly shook his head. "Sorry, senpai. He didn't."

Crestfallen, Tsuna attempted a smile. "T-thanks, Fran. It's great to see you again. Say hi to Belphegor for me."

"New love replaces old love, senpai. Good luck."

Tsuna smiled wistfully at his retreating back. It seemed like the universe was one in making him forget about Mukuro. Perhaps Mukuro was right. He was indeed a fool.

A toyed, heartbroken fool.

-x-

I wasted my day-off moping around. Tsuna rubbed his hands, bubbles forming at each move he made. It did help me, though. Running away from my past isn't going to help me. I've been moping around for a year and three months already. He turned the silver knob to the right, allowing the frigid water to sheathe him. After a while, he turned the water off and stepped out of the washroom, which was located in the room behind the shop's counter.

Opening the door, he immediately looked at the clock. Seven more minutes. That guy is always so prompt. Tsuna chuckled. He glanced at Luce who was attending to a customer with a bright smile. Tsuna began smiling himself, happy and thankful to be working with the kind woman. His eyes roamed the shop, wondering if there was anything left to take care of. Seeing there was none, he went outside, thinking of checking the display.

The weather that morning felt so nice and warm. Looking up, Tsuna closed his eyes, basking in the sun's glory. He liked how it made him forget of that fateful rainy day.

"You seem like you're enjoying yourself."

Surprised, Tsuna opened his eyes and turned to the voice's direction. Hibari was carrying a bouquet of fully bloomed, perfectly shaped red flowers. Red camellias? Flame of my heart.Tsuna felt his cheeks warm. "For a man as stoic as you, you can be pretty mushy, huh?" He tilted his head, smiling.

Hibari blinked before replying, "You are quite strange, Tsunayoshi."

"Eh? Strange?" Tsuna pointed at himself, eyebrows furrowed. "Oh! Because I'm not shooing you away." He knelt down on the ground, checking the pots that were aligned. "Do you have somewhere to be right now?"

"No."

"That's good. I've been thinking these past few days." Tsuna cringed as he saw one of the flowers wilted already. "What's your favourite colour, Hibari-san? Food? Any hobbies? I like the colour orange because I like looking at its warm shade. But food, hmm, I eat just about anything. And you could tell probably tell what my hobby is." He laughed sheepishly.

Hibari was quiet for a moment, making Tsuna believe he was being ignored. About to turn around, he was caught off guard when Hibari knelt beside him slowly, careful of not ruining the bouquet he held. "Hamburger steak and disciplining."

"That's very... unusual." Disciplining? What kind of hobby is that? "How about pets? I love cats, but I can't have one because the apartment I live in doesn't allow pets." Tsuna shrugged.

"Here," said Hibari, handing him the bouquet. Tsuna thanked him and watched in puzzlement as Hibari placed both of his pinky fingers at the edge of his mouth and whistled. Curious, Tsuna was about to ask what he was doing when he saw a bundle of yellow getting nearer and nearer to them. He squinted his eyes, trying to distinguish it. It's a bird! Did Hibari-san call him? As the bird landed on Hibari's hair, Tsuna chuckled. "This is Hibird."

"Hello, Hibird. I'm Tsuna." The bird chirped before moving to the his hair. "H-hey!"

"He appears to like you."

"He does, doesn't he?" said Tsuna, grinning widely.

"Just like the owner."

"W-w-wha—" Tsuna swore his face was as dark as the camellias he was holding.

Smirking, Hibari stood up. "I have to go now. I'll come back tomorrow rather than next week, Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna was still flustered when Hibari started walking away. "Ah, Hibari-san! Thank you for the camellias!"

That was too smooth, Hibari-san.